Joke Collection Website - Blessing messages - Obama's message is very interesting.

Obama's message is very interesting.

1. Yesterday, I made a bet with my friend. I said: there is nothing more stupid than a pig in the world. I lost, so it's all your fault!

2. A man is lovelorn. His friend comforted him and said, it doesn't matter. You will soon forget her and find a better girl. No, I can't forget her right away! The man shouted, I bought her a lot of things, all on installment.

3. Mom: Which apple do you want? Child: The big one, the biggest one. Mom: Son, you should be polite. I want a small one. Child: Do you have to lie if you are polite?

The mother stood in front of the bank window with her child in her arms. The child ate bread and stuffed it into the cashier through the window. The cashier smiled and shook his head. Mother: Sorry, the child has just been to the zoo.

Mother asked Xiao Xin to buy eggs in the street, but all she bought were small eggs. Mom: Why are the eggs getting smaller now? Xiaoxin: It's a chicken. Puppy love is very popular now.

6. Mom bought a net bag of fruit to remind her son that you put the fruit where no one can reach it. The son said, mom, just put it in my stomach.

7. Money treats me like dirt, and I still treat money like dirt! It's all dirt. Who's afraid of who?

8. Look at beautiful women in the street. If you look up, you will appreciate them. If you look down, you will be hooligans.

I am in a bad mood today. I only have four words to say. Including this sentence and the first two sentences. I quit.

10. I think I should lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually shed 100 ml of lard.

1 1. The happiest thing in life is that I can do things that others can't. For example, I can send text messages to scold you, but you don't know who I am!

12. Life is really boring. Last month, a friend of mine borrowed a dollar from me and said that he was going to have plastic surgery. Now I don't know what he has become.

13. Someone asked me, are you handsome? I said I was not handsome. He hit me and told you to lie.

14. My principle is: if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If people attack me, I will be angry!

15. Mom: Why didn't Xiaoming give his sister candy? The old hen found all the bugs for the chicks to eat. You should study! Xiao Ming: OK. If I find bugs, I will feed them all to my little sister.

16. Dad told his daughter that his family was poor when he was a child. After listening to the story, the daughter said sympathetically to her father with tears in her eyes: Oh, Dad, did you come to our house because you didn't eat?

17. Working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and pay attention to your health. But you always say meaningfully: If you don't roll more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in winter? !

18. I saw you that day. You are very uncomfortable sitting in the sun. I asked you what you were doing, and you smiled mysteriously: Keep your voice down, and no one will call me an idiot when I get tanned!

19. Friar Sand: I have changed it sixteen times; Bajie: I have changed thirty-two; Wukong: I have changed seventy-two times; Tang Priest: Why don't you change your mobile phones on the way? Monsters read text messages on their mobile phones!

20. The weather will change recently and start to get cold. You must take care of yourself, don't freeze. As the saying goes: people freeze their legs and pigs freeze their mouths. I have put on pants, so you should buy a mask quickly!

2 1. God said give me a wish, and I said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change it. I took out your photo and said to make this person more beautiful. He pondered and said, "I'll take a look at the globe again!" “

22. Someone saw you today. You are still so charming, walking slowly in a plaid vest, and you look detached. It is really cute. I want to know how you beat rabbits in those years.

23. Abandoned? Being bullied? Homeless? Even if the whole world hates you and ignores you, at least there is us-the Animal Protection Association.

24. Not many people know Tang Bohu, and Chou-heung counts as one; Not many people know Jia Baoyu, and Daiyu is one; Not many people know you, Chang 'e counts as one.

25. Are you avoiding me on purpose? Or is there no chance between you and me? But I think about you every day. I won't stop until I get you. Dear, please let me have you, even if only once ... five million lottery tickets!

26. Dad: Oh, dear! You washed it all morning. What did you clean? Son: Dad, I washed the soap.

27. In the morning, you approached my bed gently and kissed my face affectionately. Your deep eyes always stare at me. I really can't refuse you The dog is very good and took you for a walk!

28. I told my mother that I like you, and I want you to come to my house and spend time with me. Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? Through these days of communication, I found that I can't live without you! Really, but my mother doesn't want to, she said sternly, pigs are not allowed here!

29. There is a tacit understanding, a wonderful feeling, a kind of happiness with you, and a longing to see it, even a fool will finish reading the text message.

30. The biology teacher talked about the ecological environment on the African grasslands, but no one listened. The teacher said angrily, you all look at me and listen! How can I know what African wildcats look like without looking at me?

3 1. martial arts is high, and I am also afraid of kitchen knives; No matter how smart you are, a brick will fall; Go your own way and let others take a taxi! Wear other people's shoes and let others find them! Send last Tuesday's greetings and let others envy you!

32. The landlord plays well, which shows that he has brains; Playing well shows clear thinking; Fighting carefully shows that you understand the economy; Fighting a big battle means that you are not afraid of bombing; If you win, you will be silent, indicating that you are shrewd; If you lose, don't surrender; Explain that the sense of competition is strong!

I hope you can cooperate with me to do some great things. We won't worry about food and drinks, and we can also travel around the world. With your charm, I think you will earn more than me. Can you promise me? Let's go begging for food.

34. It's late at night. I woke up from my sleep because I thought of you. Why do you always leave me quietly in the middle of the night when I want to hug you? I really need you! My beloved pillow, where did you fall?

35. The sky is blue and the sea is deep. Nothing a person says is true. Love is eternal, blood is bright red, and it is impossible for men not to fight; If a person is rich, he is destined for everyone; Men are reliable, and pigs can climb trees! !

36. Mother and daughter wash dishes together, and father and son watch TV in the living room. Suddenly there was a sound of breaking dishes, and then there was silence. Son: It must be mom! Because she didn't swear.

37. Failing a foreign language proves that I am patriotic; Showing off all day, in fact, there is no wife; Grow a small belly to install Maitreya Buddha; It sings everywhere, like a big slug.

38. One river, one spring and one Jiang Tao, one mountain is higher than the other. Send a message to the straw bag, the straw bag must take out his mobile phone, take out his mobile phone and look down, and find himself an idiot.

I have known you for so long, and you have always cared about me. I really don't know how to repay you. I'll pull weeds for you in my next life!

In fact, every woman is a fairy, but unfortunately, you are the first person to land!

4 1. Last night, the stars shone. Where have you been romantic? Tonight, the stars shine. What are you embarrassed about?

42. I saw three girls with a rose in my hand. I'll give it to anyone who says he loves me!

43. Because of you, I believe in fate; Because of you, I believe in fate; Maybe it's all predestined by heaven, pulling us together in some way. I really want to say: what did I do in my last life?

I miss you so strongly at such a time and place. You always give everything silently, and I always abandon you after I finish-toilet paper.

45. I learned the last lesson and gained experience from it, that is, I will never hit you with meat buns again, and I will never come back!

I never regret loving you. I will miss you forever. I miss you so much that I can't sleep. If I forget you, I can't study. A little pig is intoxicated in the mobile phone!

47. I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled up to each other. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof!

48. If there is no wind, the clouds will not move; Fish can't swim without water; If there were no sun, there would be no light on the moon; If it weren't for you ... stupid people wouldn't exist.

49. I'm going to invite you to dinner. Do you want to come? Tell me quickly, say it ... after reading the message, the time limit has passed!

50. You grew up in an environment lacking calcium and love, wearing a sack, a pot cover on your head, shorts, a belt and a tie. Who dares to love such a glorious image!

5 1. The shopping mall promoted sales and advertised for refrigerators to send air conditioners. Someone bought a refrigerator and is waiting for the air conditioner from the shopping mall. The staff in the mall spoke: Sir, where is your air conditioner? So we can send it back to you!

52. Don't call your children rabbits, because from a genetic point of view, it's not good for parents.

53. Three Obediences and Four Virtues: When a wife goes out, she must follow, obey orders, and blindly follow if she is wrong; Make-up must wait, remember your birthday, be patient with beatings and scolding, and be willing to spend money!

54. If you don't eat for free, you will become an idiot. Idiots don't eat for free, don't eat for free. Not stupid, not stupid, but also an idiot!

Don't ask me why I am crying, my tears flow for you and my heart is broken for you. I hate that man. Why did he take you away from me … you thief!

Trains are moving so fast, I wonder how fast they will get up and run!

57. The stars and the moon are hanging in the sky, the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon is worried, the cowherd and the weaver girl are in love, the old matchmaker is a myth, and there is a fool who doesn't talk and squints at his mobile phone!

58. From a distance, you look like a donkey. If you look like a donkey, it is a donkey, but you can't ride it. Dead donkey! Anger!

I am happy because you are happy, sad because you are thin, smiling because you are fat, and rich because I sold you, my poor pig!

60. What is an optimist? -Like a teapot, my ass is burning red and I'm whistling!

6 1. Your smile is sweet, your anger is lovely, you are the most beautiful in my eyes, and you are the best in my heart. Touched, right? Pig!

62. The clear river flows with feelings, and great friendship can be known at a glance. Who will you tell about a bright tomorrow? I sent the information to an idiot!

63. Abandoned? Being bullied? Homeless? Don't be sad, don't be discouraged, even if the whole world doesn't like you, at least there are us, and the pig farm is your warm home.

64. You grew up in an environment lacking calcium and love, wearing sacks, jarheads, shorts, belts, topless shirts and ties. Who dares to love such a glorious image!

65. You are very creative. This is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention. Without you, who will set off the beauty of the world?

66. Hello, hello, you eat pig grass, with more hair and less meat, and you like to take a bath with rice soup. You also said that your skin care effect is very good. You are a rare clown.

67. I won't leave after one cup of stride, three cups of four cups of buttress, five cups of six cups of buttress. My sister took me away after drinking a catty!

68. My colleague is a lovely sister. Speaking of coming home from work last night, there were few pedestrians on the road, and the bag was robbed. My sister froze for three seconds in the cold wind and turned to run in the opposite direction! Asked why, she said: I have nothing in my bag, only a sanitary napkin and a pack of paper. I'm afraid the thief won't find anything. Come back and hit me!

69. You are a book, a schoolbag, a mouse, a cat, wood, glue, pork and a knife. You pay for dinner tonight.

70. You look at the green mountains and green waters from a distance, and grin at a close look; Look at the green hills from a distance and the freckles from a close look.

7 1. How to make leaders bow to you? It's actually quite simple. Text him!

72. Piggy Piggy has a bulging belly, thick feet and a doodle face. You can't get in with one mouth and you can't get out. Piggy, where is piggy now? Looking at the phone, panting.

73. As soon as I entered the company, I was completely blind, and my limbs were weak in the middle of the night, and my internal organs were falling apart. Nine years later, I am very miserable and helpless … I have to work overtime again!

Let me ask you a riddle: there are two drops of water on the pig's ass. Type a song title-I can't guess, your face is crying!

75. I called your mobile phone the other day, and there was a voice prompt saying: The owner is streaking, please redial later. I'll call your mobile phone later, and there is a voice prompt saying: the owner has rushed out of the service area!

76. Your economy is poor, your personality is inconsistent, your hobbies are colorful, and your life creed is in a mess. What you wrote above is inseparable!

77. Do you know what I ate yesterday? Boil you, fry you, steam you; Roast you, stew you and braise you in soy sauce; Fried you, fried you, cold salad you!

78. There is a great little pig. He sleeps until 10 every day, and only five bowls of rice can be eaten. No one dares to compare his weight. Where is the pig? Browse short messages.

79. Wave when you are happy, stamp your feet when you are happy, and shake your head when you are happy. I wish you happiness-madness!

80. I heard that there will be a meteor shower tonight. It is a big pig. At this time, a big pig will fall from the sky. Unfortunately, I can't watch it when I want to sleep. You wish there were so many people watching you fly!

8 1. Do you know that I met a mentally retarded person yesterday? I've never seen such a stupid person? As for how stupid? Let me tell you this, he may have a lower IQ than you!

You are as hardworking as a bee, as beautiful as a butterfly, as loyal as a puppy, as smart as a kitten, as honest as an old cow and as fierce as a tiger. No wonder people call you ... animal!

83. I really like your big ears, wide face, thick lips and black eyes. Your singing is wonderful, and the lyrics are always in the same tune-hum. You are my pet pig!

84. In the morning, my son saw the girl next door get married and asked, Dad, why is my sister crying? Dad: Because she is going to get married and go to someone else's house, and she seldom comes back later. The son thought about it and said, Dad and Mom always bully us, or we will marry her! Let her come back to wash our clothes once in a while.

85. Everyone who kissed me will be dumped by me. Maybe you will think that I am too heartless. Actually, I miss kissing, too. It really smells good, but what can I do? Eating snails is like this!

I haven't heard from you for a long time. I've been thinking about you these two days, and my heart is at sixes and sevens. I have searched all your favorite ponds, dining rooms and sleeping lawns, but I still haven't seen you, and my heart is breaking. How can a pig with such a big head be lost?

87. The foot of my bed shines so brightly, but you have no money to keep it. Look up at the beauty, bow down and be sad.

88. Dude, I haven't seen you for a long time. What's the matter? Did you go to your daughter-in-law's house again ... Gao Laozhuang!

89. Let me blindfold you quietly, gently put a watermelon skin under your feet, and then watch you step on it happily.

90. There are two words I have always wanted to say to you, and I finally got up the courage today: First, I love you and I like you very much; The second sentence, never take the first sentence seriously.

9 1. When I first met you, I was deeply attracted by you. I have an impulse to take you home. I long to hold you to sleep every night. When I wake up in the morning, I can see you by my pillow!

92. You and I walked quietly on the path in our hometown. You bowed your head shyly and said nothing. When the villagers saw me, they all said: Good boy, dressed neatly and beautifully, but it's a pity to come out and release pigs at such a young age!

93. A pig ran desperately forward when suddenly a wall appeared in front of it. It didn't bypass it, but hit it. Why? Don't you understand? It's simple. No sharp turns!

94. Dude, do you need your brother's help recently? I do have difficulties to help, and I will help if there are no difficulties.

95. You are the ugly duckling in the pond, and you are the silly crow on my old tree. This is the big truth after I got drunk. What are you snickering at?

96. Dear users, hello, your mobile phone will stop at 0 o'clock tomorrow! If you want to ask why, with your IQ, we can hardly explain it to you!

97. Urgent: If you want money but no money, you must be talented and unattractive. You have been listed as "three noes". You must leave the city within a few hours of receiving the order, or you will be severely punished!

98. I just found out that you have the ability to sink fish into geese ... When fish see you, they are scared to sink to the bottom, and when geese see you, they are scared to fall to the ground!

Thank you for watching flowers with me in spring, sunsets with me in summer, fallen leaves with me in autumn and snow with me in winter. Without you, the beautiful scenery, I really thank you-glasses!

100. Do you know? We have known each other for a long time. You followed me closely, put your face on me, sniffed me with your nose and bit me gently with your mouth ... At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.