Life is not only poetry and distance, but also the baby in front of you

Text | Zhao Xiaoli

What I wrote before:

According to the "Female Entrepreneurs Report" released by Alibaba, women have not lost at all in the field of Internet entrepreneurship. For men, on the contrary, women account for "half of the country" in Taobao Internet entrepreneurship.

As for starting a business, some are just dreams and interests.

This means that in the context of the "her" era, there is another level of change and possibility for women's careers, and the age-old problem of balancing career and family will continue to change with the surging tide of the times. will become a distant past.

1.

Three days ago, I received a text message on my mobile phone saying that I had an express delivery. However, the fact is that I have not shopped online these days.

According to the pick-up code in the text message, I took out the package with a little curiosity. When I opened it, I found a silk hand-embroidered vest and a pair of hand-made fabric hairpins, with a Fragrant card.

Looking at the beautiful font and signature on the card, I suddenly realized, oh, it turned out to be her.

Two years ago, I was a columnist for a website.

One day, when I logged into the website, I received an in-site text message.

The woman who sent me a text message is called A Lan (pseudonym). She said that she has been very troubled recently and wanted to talk to me.

I had to go to work during the day, so I replied to Alan: "If you have any confusion, just write it down. I will think of a reply to you."

Within a few days During that time, I received a long email from Alan.

2.

The email is more than 4,000 words long. I know that this is the most sincerity a deeply troubled woman can show.

Alan said that she was a new mother. Facing her cute little life, she quickly immersed herself in the joy and happiness of being a first-time mother.

When the child reached two and a half years old, A-Lan felt that she needed to make a good plan for herself, but this plan made her feel deeply anxious.

Before giving birth to a child, Alan was just an inconspicuous executive in a company. After having a child, the old man was too weak to help, so her husband worked hard to make money outside. In order to give the child the best love and care, A Lan became a full-time mother.

When writing the email, Alan wanted to find something to do again, but he didn’t know what to do.

She said that even if she returned to her old job and did administrative work, firstly, her age would not be an advantage, and secondly, she would not be as dedicated as she was when she was single. She had children and she would not be able to devote herself to it as before. Get to work; thirdly, almost all companies have attendance requirements for employees.

Even if the child is sent to a kindergarten, school will be dismissed early. In addition, there is no guarantee that the child will urinate and cry in the kindergarten. As a mother, she has to ensure that she is always available. Guaranteed attendance time.

All of these have caused some obstacles and troubles for A-Lan to re-enter the workplace.

3.

I wrote a reply to A-Lan. In the reply, A-Lan and I told two stories.

I met Yangyang’s mother when my child was three years old.

At that time, I didn’t have much money, and I became obsessed with browsing forums to look for second-hand items, especially items like my children’s bicycles. It felt uneconomical to buy a brand new one, and my children would not take care of the things they play with, no matter how good they are. The thing turned into a terrible mess within a few days of getting it in his hands. Moreover, after playing with it for a while, the car was idle.

Based on this consideration, I wandered around in a forum and saw a person named Yangyang Mama selling children's cars. The price was not expensive and it looked pretty good.

I quickly got in touch with Yangyang’s mother. One Saturday afternoon, I went to Yangyang’s mother’s place.

I still remember clearly that Yangyang’s mother’s home was a duplex building. There was a storage room on the second floor with various children’s belongings. Yangyang’s mother told me that she had He works in the Audit Office, but he is too tired and often needs to travel. Yangyang's father has just been promoted to the company manager. Considering Yangyang's daily care and education, Yangyang's mother resigned from her previous job.

Yangyang’s mother used to be an out-and-out workaholic, but with the birth of her child, she gradually realized that giving her child sufficient love and security and cultivating her good habits was the key to Things are more meaningful than any job.

She knew a strong woman who had a prosperous career, but she had no choice but to neglect her children. Finally, her children were sent to a juvenile detention center. The strong woman regretted: "If I could turn back time, I would I am willing to exchange my so-called success for the healthy growth of my children.”

This strong woman’s reflection gave Yangyang’s mother new thoughts about success.

4.

She reflected on her job. Undoubtedly, the nature and characteristics of work such as auditing cannot truly balance the family. At the same time, although this job seems It's glamorous, but only you know in your heart that in fact it's just a job, not a passion or interest.

The most fulfilling thing that Yangyang’s mother did when she was a child was reselling small cards in school, but her parents stopped her later.

She enjoys persuading others and the sense of accomplishment of making a sale.

After resigning, Yangyang’s mother caught a business opportunity from her children, that is, there is a unique market for second-hand toys. Yangyang’s mother bought a set of disinfection equipment and started selling it through posts on the forum. Who would have thought that the sales of second-hand toys are quite good, and her income after one month is no less than when she was working.

Without resting, she simply opened an online store. When I went to her home, her online store was being developed. She said she was planning to hire two customer service staff to help her with the business. .

5.

Let’s tell another story about a friend.

I know a mother who is good at cooking. She started a blog a few years ago to post food. Later, she was picked up by a publishing house and published a food book. Now she has become a popular food expert on major TV stations. , flying around with her daughter all day long to taste delicious food and design dishes.

Under her influence, her daughter also began to delve into food. Today, the life of mother and daughter is like cheating. They make good food and make money all day long, becoming the envy of many people.

After finishing the two stories, I told Alan that in an era of ever-escalating consumption, the influence of women actually far exceeds our imagination. Hobbies and responsibilities have become the biggest driving force for many women. There are many mothers who have broken out into their own world just to give their babies better love.

6.

This time I learned from A-Lan’s feedback that after she read my reply, she thought about it carefully and found that she had always been concerned about it since she was a child. She has a natural interest in making clothes, so she did not continue her previous career path, but used her spare time to learn to make clothes. She used her children as models and dressed her children beautifully every day. Her children wore clothes to go to kindergarten. , always attracts the attention of many mothers and teachers, and these people become A Lan’s first customers.

"Sister Xiaoli, thank you. If it weren't for you, I would never have imagined that I, who once felt worthless, could have the life I have today." At the end of the card, A Lan wrote.

In fact, this era has already written a new definition of success for women.

In my opinion, a truly successful woman will not be held back by her children. On the contrary, her children will open another window for your life and lead you to appreciate the wonderful world and your life. Meet a new self together.

About the author: Zhao Xiaoli, a senior career consultant and workplace writer, is the author of "Fear of Trouble Is Your Biggest Obstacle" and "Please Stop Ineffective Efforts".