Non-mainstream funny classic short clips

1. I am not a casual person! But if you act casually, you are not a human being!

2. I will work hard to realize my dreams to make up for the bragging I did when I was a child.

3. Words are spoken by people, and farts are also made by people. They are just breaths.

4. Secret love is a successful pantomime, but speaking out becomes a tragedy!

5. You born in the 90s have the heart of the 80s and the face of the 70s

6. It is said that women are clothes, and sisters are brands you cannot afford to wear. .

7. My sister never speaks human words, what she always talks about is mythology.

8. The world is noisy and life is lonely.

9. If Taiwan is not recovered for a day, I will not be able to reach Level 4 for a day.

10. I cannot satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human.

11. I won’t show you my sadness, because I’m afraid you won’t be able to help laughing.

12. We move too fast, and our souls can’t keep up.

13. I am the hoe, and you are the noon.

14. Dissatisfaction is a suspended replacement. It makes people constantly have the desire to climb up in comparison.

15. If you hang around, you will get annoyed sooner or later.

16. Smart women deal with men, and stupid women deal with women.

17. The departure of the stool is the pursuit of the toilet, or the lack of retention of the butt.

18. People say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact it’s all because of her makeup.

19. I smoke because it hurts my lungs and does not make me sad.

20. The past is very profound, but it is not enough to stop the future.

21. You can see the words I type on the screen, but you can’t see the tears I shed on the keyboard.

22. You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

23. When someone calls you uncle or aunt, it fucking proves that you are outdated

24. Never give up on me or me

25. Be happy while you are alive, because we will be dead for a long time.

26. Even a piece of shit will encounter a dung beetle one day. So don't be upset that you're a piece of shit.

27. Don’t say I’m arrogant, it’s just that I refuse to deal with animals!

28. Sorry, the user you dialed is married.

29. Brother, don’t be lonely. Because I am lonely to accompany my brother

30. Format yourself just to delete you.

31. Before I had a chance to get involved with the flowers, I was plucked out.

32. Even if you want to cry again, you must smile and say: Your uncle! A complete collection of non-mainstream short stories

1. Because Liu Bei looks too white, you can’t see him during the day. Zhang Fei is too dark, so he cannot be seen at night. After finally waiting until dusk, both of them appeared, and Guan Yu disappeared.

2. The dog went to the yard and caught a cat. It bared its teeth and threatened the cat: Catch a mouse and come back to see me! The cat was very scared and hurriedly went to the alley to catch a mouse and brought it back. Seeing the cat carrying the mouse tremblingly in front of it, the dog suddenly grinned and happily took out a pair of cards from his pocket: Come, let's fight the landlord!

3. What a talented girl 1. I just asked a girl out of curiosity: Why do you always kneel down on one knee when you propose marriage? The girl said very calmly: Kneel down on your knees to visit the grave! 2. It was his boyfriend’s birthday and the girl gave him a belt and told him: When he wants to take off his pants outside, think of me at home.

3. The most difficult sentence for girls to understand is actually what I want is very simple. The amount of information contained in it is no less than a Yongle Canon!

4. A person with 100% good conditions, but he only gives you 30, 40 or 10 or 20 points; another person only has 70 or 80 points, but he treats you wholeheartedly, which one should you choose? ? In fact, no matter how good you are, there is someone better than you. Although you can't be the best person, you can be the best person for each other. Every boy can say: Although I am not the best person in the world, I am the best man in the world for you. Girls too everyone can do it.

5. People who love each other may not necessarily stay together. We must know how to cherish, but also how to tolerate and forgive. Everyone has a different understanding of love and respect. Therefore, when you fall in love with someone, you have to try to accept and understand his views and principles. Even if you cannot agree with them, you can at least tolerate them.

6. A girl felt very uncomfortable when she caught a cold. She texted her boyfriend in bed: I have a cold. She decided to kick him if he replied to drink more water. After a while, the phone vibrated, and the text message read: Open the door. This big idiot, who asked him to come! The girl was very moved, got up and rushed to the door as fast as she could. At this time, the phone vibrated again, and she opened the door with one hand and opened it excitedly with the other: breathe more fresh air and exercise.

7. Success is actually very simple. It means persisting when you can’t hold on.

8. Convincing yourself is a victory of reason; being moved by yourself is a spiritual sublimation; conquering yourself is a success in life.

9. You are obviously living in the present, but you never forget the past and worry about the future; you insist on carrying the past and the future with the present, and life is so sloppy. Simply live in the present, and there is no right or wrong in the present: if there is no right or wrong, there is no need to worry; if there is no truth or falsehood, there is no need to dwell on and worry about it. That's neither true nor false, isn't it just like dreaming? Yes, just treat your life as a dream and execute it.

10. There are some things that we always can’t understand, some people that we can’t always guess, some ways that we can’t fully understand, some principles that we can’t figure out, and some obstacles. , we can't always cross it, there are some injuries that we can't always heal, some days we can't sleep, some places we can't always go to, some feelings we can't always express, some love we can't always It's not available. The ten greatest confusions in life.

11. A couple who eloped finally could not bear the pressure of reality and agreed to drink pesticides to die together, but all the money they had now was only enough to buy a bottle of pesticides to kill one person, but they finally decided Died together, why? Because they won another bottle!

12. A classmate who just got married and lives with her in-laws said that she no longer eats with her family because she felt sick when she saw her mother-in-law feeding her husband. She asked me how to break it? I said, otherwise you try feeding your husband.

13. All good roads are downhill: the road of life is not smooth, and it is not easy to move forward without effort. Many times, it is precisely because we give up our efforts that we miss the opportunity to succeed.

14. There was a young man who couldn’t hold back from quitting smoking. He took a match and said: If you don’t smoke if you don’t smoke if you don’t smoke if you do more than three, it will sting, sting, sting, and all three will go out. He also said: It doesn’t take more than five. If you hit me after five, I will become a tiger; prick, prick... all five roots will be gone. He also said: If the thing is no more than seven, I will not suck it if it is more than seven; thorns, thorns... all seven roots are gone. He said angrily: Go to her uncle's room next door, light it and smoke it whenever you want!

15. A person who chases two rabbits at the same time will never catch one. Don't try to know everything, otherwise you will have nothing; don't try to know everything, otherwise you will know nothing; don't try to be omnipotent, otherwise you will know nothing.

16. Two people have been together for a long time, just like the left hand and the right hand. Even if they no longer love each other, they will choose to stay together, because it takes a lot of courage to give up so many years of time.

Maybe someone you love will appear in your life, but that person is just a passerby after all. You will still hold your left hand or right hand and keep walking. Happiness really has nothing to do with love.

17. After reading these ten powerless things in life, you will think twice: 1. People who leave you. 2. The passage of time. 3. Back against your wall. 4. Origin without choice. 5. Inexplicable loneliness. 6. Hopeless love. 7. Helpless forgetfulness. 8. Forever past. 9. Others’ ridicule. 10. Inevitable death.

18. We think sunshine comes from the sun, but when our hearts are dark, no amount of sunshine can pull us out of the shadows, so sunshine not only comes from the sun but also from our hearts. As long as we have light in our hearts, we will feel the brilliance of the world; as long as we have light in our hearts, we can illuminate each other with the people we are destined to have affection for; as long as we have light in our hearts, we will remain warm and vital even in the darkest days. quality.

19. Most people want to change the world, but few want to change themselves. Those who have never failed have probably never succeeded.

20. Ten things that may change the direction of your life: 1. A family background that you cannot choose; 2. The person who stayed with you the longest when you were a child; 3. The teacher you respected when you were studying. ; 4. The school and major chosen after the college entrance examination; 5. The city where you stay while working; 6. Leaving your favorite or least favorite job; 7. An unforgettable love; 8. The chosen life partner; 9. Unable to Chosen children; 10. A noble or evil person encountered by chance.

21. A lovely person should be chased no matter what; a career that one is passionate about should be pursued no matter what; a rare happiness should be pursued no matter what One, we must guard it; our elderly parents, no matter what, we must love; our true friends, no matter what, we must give this blessing no matter what! I wish you happiness!

22. Every mortal has flaws in his body. The flaw is already there, what can be done is to improve it, at least make it less obvious.

23. Our enemy is not the darkness outside us, but the darkness within ourselves, which is our ease of disappointment, our frustration, our lack of confidence, patience and care, our lack of Tenacity, giving up easily, and even giving up on oneself.

24. Opportunity is fair to everyone. When it is around us, it is not fancy and fancy, but ordinary and inconspicuous at all. Opportunities that seem dazzling are not opportunities, but traps; real opportunities are simple at first, and only through initiative and diligence do they become particularly brilliant.

25. People understand best when they are unlucky, people understand best after serious illness, people understand best when they are dying, people understand best after stepping down, people understand best after retirement, and people understand best when they are in prison. The last one understands best. When you are unlucky, you understand that your fate is impermanent. After a serious illness, you understand that your relatives and friends are short and healthy. When you are dying, you understand that you are parting from life and death. After you step down, you understand that the world is in trouble. When you retire, you understand that it is cool when you leave. After being imprisoned, you understand that you are ashamed of your parents.

26. When you like me, I don’t like you. When you fall in love with me, I fall in love with you. When you leave me, I fall in love with you. Yes You walk too fast, or I can't keep up with your steps. We have missed all the thrills and non-thrills, and we will continue to miss them.

27. When looking at a person’s experience, don’t look at his skin, but look at his eyes. If he is sad, it means he has some unknown pains and sorrows. If he squints, it means he has some unflattering arrogance and pride. If he is indifferent, it means that he has experienced joys and sorrows and has seen through the world and human nature. Eyes can always reveal your unknown secrets.

28. Life is like a mirror. If you smile at it, it will smile back at you. My life creed is to constantly change the status quo, be truthful and pragmatic, and make tomorrow better. This is an important issue in life. , it is not about what people have, but how to use it. The most precious thing in the relationship between people is sincerity, and being good at understanding is a happy life.

29. Anger is to punish yourself with other people’s mistakes; worry is to torture yourself with your own mistakes; regret is to destroy yourself with helpless past events; worry is to scare yourself with virtual risks. Loneliness is to imprison oneself in a self-made prison; inferiority is to use the strengths of others to destroy oneself. Get rid of these and you will be much more relaxed!

30. True love is acceptance, not tolerance; support, not dominance; condolences, not questioning; true love requires both thanks and apology. Be considerate and considerate. You have to admit your mistakes or correct them; true love is not about staring at each other, but looking together in the same direction. In fact, love is not about finding a perfect person. Rather, we must learn to appreciate an imperfect person with perfect eyes.

31. Love is tolerance, loving everything about each other. Don't trample on your own dignity. You can live without him, but you can't live without your own dignity. Don't make promises easily. A promise you can't make is more hateful than a promise you haven't made. Don't put too much pressure on each other. Don't feel that you don't understand each other. There will also be love; when we don't understand, we just like it and cannot reach love. When each other's shortcomings are exposed, love will often end.

32. You can’t change the environment, but you can change yourself; you can’t change the facts, but you can change your attitude; you can’t change the past, but you can change the present; you can’t control others, but you can change the present. You can control yourself; you can't predict tomorrow, but you can grasp today; you can't have everything go smoothly, but you can do your best in everything; you can't extend the length of life, but you can determine the width of life.

33. This mobile app can measure your dog’s IQ, and it only costs $9.99. So amazing. How to use it specifically? The reason is simple. As long as you buy it, it proves that your dog’s IQ is at least higher than yours.

34. A woman asked the taxi driver: Master, please tell me, how long does it take to get to the airport from here? Taxi driver: It will take a long time. Woman: How long will it take at least? Taxi driver: Riding takes longer!

Thirty-five, color actually does not just refer to the color of men and women. Color is the collective name for all living beings. The appearance of mountains, rocks, earth, trees, clouds, and water is all color. In order to make grains easier to sell, some people add white lime to flour. In order to make bread look good, they use industrial alkali to coat it. In order to make fruits look good, they use sulfur to smoke them. This is all done to cater to lustful people. Now that this practice has been going on for a long time, let’s reflect on whether everyone has entered an extremely lustful state.

36. Bad things always happen, but there are still many ways to solve difficulties. Never forget to learn more and broaden your mind. All the troubles in life will always follow you, no more, no less, but knowledge and accomplishment can enable a person to analyze and deal with these problems more rationally and calmly.

37. People who understand know how to give up, people who are sincere know how to sacrifice, and happy people know how to transcend. ------For those who don't love themselves, what they need most is understanding, giving up and blessing. Too much self-love is begging for charity from the other party. ------Loving and being loved are both things that make people happy. Don't let this turn into pain. Non-mainstream funny classic sentences

If you are in a bad mood, go to the supermarket and get some instant noodles.

In the past few years, it was a trend to take exams in key high schools, but now it has become crazy.

Come back quickly, I can’t fool you!

You drink to get drunk; I drink to wake up from other kinds of drunkenness.

The articles written by female middle school students in the 1990s are like a stable, filled with dark horse princes and endless childhood sweethearts.

A few years later, I discovered that countless relationships had to be torn into pieces. They were originally incomplete and did not need to be torn into pieces.

Rules are actually a pastime after food and clothing. If food and clothing are no longer enough, do we still need rules?

***Drink a cup of tea and grind a bowl of green sand together.

After separation, why can't we get rid of two people even though we are alone?

If you fall, get up and cry again.

But while waiting, I missed the happiness that can lead to happiness.

Don’t be like the people on earth.

Give someone a rose, and your hands will still be fragrant. If you give someone a black pot, your hands will still be black.

I regret when I lose, why I didn’t catch it. In fact, waiting itself is a ridiculous mistake.

We are moving so fast that our souls cannot keep up.

Our goal: Focus on money and make big profits.

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry a female toad.

Asking you how much sorrow you can have is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

Either be tolerant or cruel.

There is a grave in my heart where the survivors are buried.

The problem in education now is that no one goes to take a bath naked, but too many people are taking a bath wearing cotton-padded jackets.

Now, I begin to miss that rainy night when I tore up your letters and photos.

I allow you to enter my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in it.

Comments recorded by classmates are not mainstream

(1)

Curse,

Yongkui Xinghan and chopsticks~!

p>

Do you understand me?

This summer is called "嬧"

I began to write a sad song of virtue

Yiyi,

Give all the virtues and virtues to you

Say goodbye again and again, keep rewinding.

The ending of the story does not require any explanation.

This may be a bit sad to write..

This is Xia Yan,

Leaving behind the sadness of Mei Li

Say goodbye with love~

If you laugh at the people who laugh at you, listen to me, there is always no reason for you to apologize.

‖﹏ Sorry. It is impossible to forgive him, ⊿

┗ Turn around ┛ ? Touch the head of the platform, tears will flow from his eyes!

He said that he wants to fight him to the end. #

Face the real society with a low profile.

* *, the corners of the mouth are raised, and the smile of "happiness" is wiped!!

There are many things I want to say. However, I can only say hypocritically that I am fine.

What's the use of dawn? I still can't suppress the spread of sadness.

09 is the same. Hysterical loneliness.

〆Miss/?

/p>

══ Love, love, love? I have been saying goodbye.

▇▇ Who is here? Let it be a 涐涐.?

The me in the mirror is opposite but very similar to me

〃What's wrong, why do I feel lost and lonely at the same time?

This pain is nothing. The world is full of pain and suffering.媔怼家干,. I'm sorry.媔怼浵. I am dead.

Love requires courage, but Xu Zhen is not there.〆

I am afraid that time will make me forget "涐"

This is the end, it's the end.

(2)

If you laugh at the people who laugh at the people, listen to the people, there is always no reason, and the people of the people will apologize.

‖﹏ Sorry. It is impossible to forgive him, ⊿

┗ Turn around ┛ ? Touch the head of the platform, tears will flow from his eyes!

He said that he wants to fight him to the end. #

Face the real society with a low profile.

* *, the corners of the mouth are raised, and the smile of "happiness" is wiped!!

There are many things I want to say. However, I can only say hypocritically that I am fine.

This is the summer,

Leaving behind the sadness of Mei Li

Saying goodbye with love~

Or the following collection of comments recorded by classmates is not mainstream:

We were two small trees fighting side by side, we were two parts of a duet, and we were on the same desk. Xueyou. Today, as we wave goodbye, please accept my affectionate blessings.

It is not the beginning, nor is it the end. The countless beautiful moments shared by my classmates over the years will be forever engraved in my memory.

Life has opened its mind to us, my friend. , let us bravely go forward and experience its boundless magnificence and endless depth!

Three years is just a short period in the journey of life, but with You have been a classmate for three years, but you will never be forgotten for the rest of my life. You are a pearl in my memory and a star in the sky of my heart.

We met when we were strangers, and we parted after becoming familiar. Tomorrow, we will find our new position on the star map of life. Let us use our own twinkling starlight to ask each other and express our feelings.