Can you find me a lot of jokes and good text messages?

One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he was hesitant because the car dealer did not have an auspicious license plate number.

The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile: "This license plate is good, 00544 (let me try it). I guarantee that no one will dare to mess with it. It's not bad!"

The rich man was moved. I bought the car immediately, but the next day it was involved in a car accident!

The rich man got out of the car angrily, thinking that you dared to hit this car, but when he got out of the car, he immediately walked away in despair. It turned out that the other person’s license plate was 44944 (just try it).

When I was a freshman, a friend of mine on the bunk bed talked in his sleep every day. One night, he shyly said: "I'm pregnant." We all fainted.

A boy who was usually bullied in the dormitory shouted out in the middle of the night: "The tanks are coming!" It was found out that he was really talking in his sleep. Another thing I heard from a female classmate - a girl in the dormitory suddenly said in the middle of the night: "Two pieces of bread, two handsome guys, the bread has gone bad, the handsome guy is missing..."

High school classmate, One GG, he suddenly sat up in the middle of the night, shouted: "Watch me shoot you to death!" Then he lay down and continued to sleep.

I heard from my dormitory buddies that I suddenly said in the middle of the night: "My business password is...yes..." It turned out that "yes" didn't come out for a long time, so the two buddies Urgent. After hearing this, I was very shocked...I immediately went out and changed the password.

I remember when I was chasing a girl, I asked her for her phone number, but I kept nagging her for fear of forgetting. Unexpectedly, I kept mumbling in my dreams at night, but my mother heard it and called the girl the next day. The girls who did it never paid attention to me anymore, and I was depressed...

We were in the army for a month of military training, and we had to control our food every day. One of the guys yelled in the middle of the night: "That piece of braised pork is mine." Yes, don’t grab it!”

One of my classmates is Mr. G, who plays a lot of CS on weekdays. One night, his mother entered his room, turned on the light, and suddenly heard: "Ah! Who threw the flash bomb!!!"

There is a person in our dormitory who loves to sleep and snores loudly! One night, I suddenly stopped snoring, and I was ecstatic... Then at about 2 o'clock in the morning, I just heard a roar! ! The whole dormitory woke up. It turned out that he had kicked down the bookcase at his feet, and the books fell on him. Then I heard him turn over and say: "You are mentally ill!" Everyone was speechless and continued to sleep. He woke up around 5 o'clock in the morning, first said "Hey", and then yelled who did it! ! Everyone fainted together! ! I will never forget it in my life...

Once when I was reading in the middle of the night, the girl on the bed opposite me suddenly sat up, looked at me for ten seconds, nodded and said, "Yeah, okay." I asked : "What are you going to do?" She snorted and fell asleep, so scared...

A friend in the same dormitory, the upper bunk, one day, the bedside guard was broken, and I was worried before going to bed. He said: "It won't fall at night, right?" In the middle of the night, there was a sudden "plop", and this gentleman was sitting on the ground, wrapped in a quilt, and said to himself: "Oh, it really fell..."

In our dormitory, one person suddenly shouted: "Help" in the middle of the night, and the other person came back: "Who shouted for help at this late hour?" Then the two of them continued to sleep soundly.

I suddenly woke up at night in college and saw a figure standing in front of the third child's bed, wandering around. Turn on the lights! It was the sixth child in the next dormitory, touching the head of our third child. He was chanting: "The melon is ripe, the melon is ripe."

Later, we never forgot to lock the door when we went to bed...

A brother in our dormitory talked in his sleep at night and shouted: "Please don't kill me!" Everyone was depressed and guessing, and went to the cafeteria for breakfast the next day. , I heard a group of girls at the table next to me say that a girl in their dormitory talked in her sleep last night: "I will definitely kill you!"

When I was in college, a guy in the dormitory got up in the middle of the night and shouted: I love La Fang! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

A girl sat up, raised her head with her hands like catching rain, and said: Come on, come on, I want to bloom...

A hilarious composition by a primary school student, laughing I'm so irresponsible!

Monday is here... After Wang Jing handed in her homework, she was immediately asked by the teacher to stand for punishment at noon and read "I will not dare to make up lies to deceive the teacher" 500 times.

Why? Why would this teacher treat this weak primary school student so cruelly? Let’s take a look at how her composition is written...

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Sunday

Today is Sunday. Although we went to Ocean Park to play until about 11:00 pm yesterday, today we got up early and went to Taiping Mountain next to Ocean Park to pick fruits, because grandma and grandpa Live in Victoria Peak.

After we arrived at the foot of Taiping Mountain, we took off our shoes and started climbing. We reached the top of the mountain in about 1 minute. The air on the top of the mountain is very good. Grandpa took us to his orchard.

Wow... Grandpa's orchard is so big. There are many fruit trees planted, including watermelon trees, strawberry trees, and pineapple trees... Because I was too young to climb the trees, grandpa climbed up the watermelon trees and picked them. I picked up the biggest watermelon and threw it to my dad, and my dad caught it with one hand!

There are many fruits growing on the ground in the orchard, such as apples, pears, coconuts, etc. Grandpa picked some coconuts, peeled off the coconut skins with his hands, removed the seeds, and distributed them to everyone. Coconut is delicious! I ate more than 20. My cousin even used coconuts to humiliate me, which hurt so much!

After the fruit dinner, we went to the Himalayas next to Taiping Mountain. We heard from the teacher that the Himalayas are the highest mountains in the world.

Sure enough, the teacher did not lie to us. My cousin and I climbed and climbed. It took us about 2 minutes to reach the top of the mountain. I was so hot.

Later, we still felt very hot, so we went to the top of the mountain to soak in the hot springs. What a cold hot spring! The Himalayas are such a great place.

Later my cousin asked me if I had any money. He saw a McDonald’s selling near the top of the mountain. Damn cousin, you borrow money from me every time!

While we were still buying, we heard our mother calling us to go home from Taiping Mountain, so we had to reluctantly leave. Taiping Mountain and Himalayas are really fun places. I will return there in the future. We need to ask dad and mom to take us to play.

Dad said that if I come first in this exam, he will take me to Tokyo, Beijing, and Nanjing this Sunday. I want to go to Xijing the most, because my cousin lives in Xijing.

She said that the textbook was actually a lie. There is a mountain higher than the Himalayas in Xijing. It takes about 3 minutes to climb. There is also a large night market and children's playground on it, as well as clear water. creek.

I must study hard and ask my dad to take me to these places.

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Instructor’s comment:

The content is full of contradictions Exaggerating one's ability

I have never seen such incomprehensible things in my more than 20 years of teaching

Please pay attention next time

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This time the teacher asked for a 600-word travel note again. With the experience last time, Wang Jing did not dare to write randomly anymore. It was true. Write down what happened on Sunday when his father took him to the Zoological and Botanical Park.

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Sunday

Dad took our whole family this morning Going to the Zoological and Botanical Gardens, the sound of cicadas kept chirping along the road. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak.

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Instructor’s comment:

The content is true and can be I have corrected the previous mistake

But the whole article uses more than 500 "zhi" characters

This is something I have never seen in my more than 20 years of teaching

Please make sure to do it next time Attention

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The teacher has learned well this time and is afraid that students will write randomly. , they were asked to submit another 600-word travel journal, but they also had to put forward their learning experience during the day. This time, Wang Jing and her mother came back from climbing the mountain and carefully checked the textbook. Finally, they found one thing that verified the knowledge in the textbook. She happily wrote it down and handed it to the teacher. .

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Sunday

I went hiking with my mother today. When we reached the top of the mountain, my mother said there would be echoes in the quiet mountains.

My brother and I tried to shout together - "How are you?"

Sure enough, about three seconds later we heard:

How are you? ?are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay Okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? ?are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay Okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you?

How are you? How are you? How are you? Okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay. How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay Okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay. How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you?

Not a single word has changed. I finally understood the sound wave reflection mentioned in the textbook. What a meaningful day.

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Instructor’s comments:

Can learn from it as The teacher was very happy

But the whole article uses about 200 sentences of "How are you"

This is something I have never seen in my more than 20 years of teaching

Part 2 Please be sure to pay attention to this time

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The teacher can’t do anything about Wang Jing’s lazy composition I agree, I will no longer write a travelogue-style composition, and think about how to stimulate Wang Jing's composition potential, so I will write another one:

"The Most Unforgettable Thing"

Wang Jing bit his pencil After thinking hard, I finally wrote a quick note. After handing it over, I thought to myself: The teacher probably won't punish me anymore, and I couldn't help but smile.

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When I came home from school last Friday, I saw a pile of flowers in front of my house. I ate a pound of stool at that time: "Who is so wicked, defecating in front of my house?"

I quickly asked my sister to come out, and my sister saw that she had eaten a pound and said: : "It's so unethical! It's so low-level!" My sister asked me to sweep it away with a broom.

When my mother found out, she also came out to see what was going on. She also ate a pound and shouted, "What a sin!"

Dad heard his mother's cry and quickly came out to see what happened. Ate a pound. "Who did this?"

My neighbor, Mrs. Wang, just came back from shopping for groceries and ate a pound after looking at it.

Uncle Wang and Wang Xiaoming came out to see that they both had eaten a pound. After a while, more than ten people gathered. Everyone had eaten a pound. Finally, they called 119. After eating a pound, the firefighters finally cleared away the stool. It's really the most unforgettable thing.

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Instructor’s comment:

Progress

Please note that the typo is "surprised", not "eat a pound"

Which person has the ability to do this?

Don’t plagiarize those downstairs! Thanks!