Urgent for mobile phone short message

-+When you are lonely, a pencil may be your best companion. You can cut, chop, chop with a small knife, and vent yourself at the same time, shouting loudly: I killed the pen, I killed the pen, I killed the pen. ...

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said: I have sand in my shoes, so I shake my shoes with wire stalks. A fucking idiot passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he grabbed a stick and gave it to me twice!

Mr. Gibbon shit, Miss Chimpanzee accidentally stepped on it, and they met and fell in love and got married. At the wedding, a guest asked the bride: How did you meet? Chimpanzees laughed and said, ape shit!

You danced on the lotus leaf, and your elegant posture charmed all those who looked down on you. One of the poets exclaimed: my god, the pig is standing on the leaf! Another poet shook his head and said, no, it's a mule looking for a lotus root!

You look very abstract! You look hazy! You look fuzzy! You look very ... strange! Give me a break. I really can't describe you. I have never seen a ghost.

It is said that you will do three important things for the people of the whole country: install an elevator on Mount Everest, put tiles on the Great Wall, and install reverse gears on the plane. Three little things: mosquitoes wear masks, flies wear gloves and cockroaches wear condoms. Admire!

I watch the stars at night, plus your birthday, you have good luck tonight! The practice is as follows: stand under the neon lights, pull people with your left hand, and throw handkerchiefs with your right hand when you go out. The code word is: come and play, grandpa.

One question stumped me. I think only you can help me. What does the following sentence mean? If you know, please tell me that the original text of this sentence is """"The pig hanging upside down is """

You go! Find someone who is worthy of your love. I don't know you well enough. I know that some things can't be forced and some distances can't be crossed. Just like yesterday, I really can't believe you left with someone else for a bone!

I heard that you made a fortune and paid off all your foreign debts. It's time to pay back half the rubber you borrowed from my primary school. Plus the interest for so many years, you should give me a tire.

I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass me, I will fall for you, and it is in vain not to smash you.

Hi, are you asleep? Please reply to me if you are asleep, and continue to sleep if you are not asleep.

Tips for self-test of vital capacity: After farting, lower your head and inhale fiercely, and then observe whether people around you smell strange smell. If so, you must strengthen your exercise according to this method; If not, then prove that you are superman!

Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? In another 10 thousand years, no one will love you more than me; Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? My love is in every corner around you; Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? You are the only one in my life; You know what else? I sent it to the wrong person!

On our friendship journey, sometimes you can't see me by your side. It's not that I forgot you, much less. But I choose to walk behind you. When you accidentally fell down, I ran up and stepped on my foot. ...

Shall we go on a date on Saturday Please grant my sincere request! Because I really want to go to the seaside with you and listen to the sound of the sea. I'll take you to climb the highest stone near Shanghai and kick you down!

Yesterday, I dreamed of you. Really, the sky is so quiet, the sun is so bright, and the sea is so boundless. You stand on the blue beach and I stab you with a stick. Hey, this little bastard has a hard shell.

I saw you that day, in the supermarket! You quietly put your hand on the barcode scanner, and the screen shows: pig's trotters 8 yuan. Do you think the machine is broken? Put your face up and have a look. The screen shows 5 yuan with a pig's head!

Are you lonely? If so, why do you go downstairs to buy ropes and sticks, tie ropes to sticks, and wave sticks on the roof when it is windy, and people will ask you? Just say, I have a seizure. ..

People are really tired when they are alive! Standing thinking about sleeping, getting on the bus and waiting in line, unrequited love is really painful, eating tasteless, drinking easily, working very tired, robbery is not enough, and you have to pay taxes to earn money, alas! Even texting pigs costs money!

Starting from tomorrow, the municipal government has decided to drive away all the young people with mental retardation who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out and take shelter, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You are welcome!

According to statistics, more than 99.9% people who look like pig heads read short messages with thumb buttons! Hey, hey, don't change hands, it's too late. Pig! hahaha

Now I'm confused ... I don't know what I'm thinking ... My brain is getting bored ... I really don't know what to do ... Can you tell me ... I really don't know whether to eat Regan Noodles or Ah Q bucket noodles!

I miss you very much, but I'm sorry to call you. I'm afraid you're busy, you ignore me, you think I'm harassing me, I really want to contact you, but …

The telephone bill is really expensive, please call me!

If I burn incense for one year, I can meet you, I can know you for three years and I can cherish you for ten years. For the happiness of my next life, I am willing to ... convert to Christianity.

Hello, this is the bra investigation bureau. We found that your breasts have violated Article 7, Chapter 2 of the "Cup Control Law" "Regulations on Severe and Extremely sagging breasts"! So we must force you to get breast implants, or you will be wanted!

Miss you is a happy thing! Nice to meet you! Loving you is what I will always do! Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing! But I lied to you, and it just happened! Ha ha!

The phone rings, which means I'm thinking of you! Two voices mean I like you! Three voices mean I love you! When the seventh sound rings … damn it, I really need to talk to you, so don't answer the phone!

Meeting you is my inner desire to fall in love with you. Having you is my happy choice. Stepping on the red carpet is my most precious asset. It is the eternal motivation for me to love forever. Your regret is that I passed it on to the wrong person.

Marriage; Poor family is one meter ugly ~ primary school culture, rural hukou ~ ~ three broken houses have no furniture ~ ~ an old dog is broken in the cold pot ~ a pair of shorts all year round ~ ~ Today, I want a boyfriend by SMS ~ ~

From now on, call 1 10 for free, and you will get 7 days of free mobile phone travel, and you will be given a pair of exquisite handcuffs to enjoy the round-trip police car transfer. The top ten intruders also play with police dogs every day. There are many benefits and rich gifts. Call quickly!

I heard that the last time you went to CCTV to sing a song, four referees fainted three times on the spot. Fortunately, a referee came on stage, holding your hand and said excitedly, talent, others sing for money, you are killing yourself!

Hello, benefactor, we are the Tibetan Buddhist Association. When you receive this message, we have deducted 50 yuan incense money from your mobile phone. In order to thank you, we will award you the highest law number: if.

Drivers are often punished by traffic police. He was angry, but there was nothing he could do. His friend advised: Don't be angry. If you have children, you can call the traffic police and scold them. Let him call you dad during the day and you can call her mom at night!

In the restaurant, anonymous shouted to her boyfriend: Are you going to marry me or not? Don't think that nobody wants me. Believe it or not, I will find a marriage partner here soon! Soon, the waiter came: Miss, you scared away all the guests in our shop!

The farmer drove the donkey into the city and met a rogue. He asked hypocritically, Have you eaten? The farmer said: Eat! The rogue said, I asked the donkey. The farmer turned to the donkey and said, Give me dishonesty, and don't even tell your relatives in Liancheng!

Going to work is hard and tiring, and going to work is simply a hell on earth. It is better to join the underworld, have food and drink, have status, go shopping without queuing, take things without paying taxes, and transfer protection money every day, which is a hundred times better than working. How's it going? Change careers?