The child is rebellious. How should I get along with him?

Why do children have such two periods before they reach adulthood? This should be related to the child's brain development. Some people say that the rebellious period is caused by hormone secretion, which makes children's thinking in an exciting stage. Let's believe it. Anyway, at this stage, the child suddenly realized himself. He wants to work hard to realize his imaginary self, and he doesn't want to be arranged to obey. Therefore, many parents will wonder that the child is a good boy in primary school, but he can obey. Why is it like a different person now? Parents' evaluation of children's "good" and "obedient" is often based on their self-centered requirements. Children strive to meet their parents' requirements in order to gain their approval. In this case, the child is "egoless" and he must abandon "ego" to achieve it. For example, he wanted to fight with children in class, but he restrained himself at the thought of being a "good boy".

Therefore, rebellious children have such a rule. The tighter they are controlled in childhood, the more serious the rebellion is. This is like a spring. The tighter they are pressed, the more they bounce back. Some parents don't think that they are too strict and demanding, or that they should discipline their children in this way, but in fact, this kind of discipline that is not in line with children's nature has planted the seeds of rebound for their childhood and even their rebellious childhood. Because the child's rebound is extraordinary, parents are unprepared for it. Many parents are at a loss when they hear the word rebellious period.

In fact, don't take the rebellious period of children so terrible. Children in the rebellious period are very sensitive to the changes in the world, absorb new things very quickly, become very delicate, and become fond of fighting against rules and regulations. They are courageous and have the desire to challenge everything. Newborn calves are not afraid of tigers, indicating that they are in a period of plasticity and active thinking. Their imagination and creativity are in the most vigorous period, which is the most precious period in a person's life and also the period of character shaping. How to protect children's rebellious period plays a decisive role in their life.

1, when the child doesn't want to talk to you, don't ask about the child's recent situation, or don't talk to the child endlessly. He likes a person at this time and doesn't like your nagging;

2. When a child wants to talk to you, you must attach great importance to it, listen quietly, and encourage him to continue with expressions or words from time to time. What he says often scares you or makes you angry. At this time, you must not do this, be calm, because if you do this, the child will not talk to you again-the child tells you that he is trying to prove his judgment on his parents;

When children tell you their rebellious stories, the best way is to say that mom and dad were the same when they were your age. Then I want to tell the story of my rebellion as a child and tell it to my children, so that they can know that this is only a stage of life.

Don't go into the child's room to check his things at home. At this stage, the child thinks that his room is his private space, and he is dividing his territory like a kitten. Some children will put a note on the door of the room to remind parents not to come in casually. Even if you go into your child's room to rummage through his things when he is not at home, it's best not to let your child find traces of rummaging;

If you find it difficult to communicate in language, you can write to your children. Writing is a good communication tool. You can even send short messages to your children and communicate with them through short messages.

8. The family should keep its original state. Don't make the atmosphere at home very depressed because of the rebellious period of children, and everyone is very nervous. This will push the child's rebellion in a direction that is unfavorable to his growth. For example, if children can't stand such a family environment, they will run away from home in exchange for a short time.

9. Parents should have high hopes for their own lives. Some parents find it difficult to solve their children's problems, so they avoid giving up, such as singing and dancing and shopping by themselves. If not, parents have to stay at home as usual, just relax, be quiet, read books, or go out for a walk with their husbands, watch movies and watch TV and so on. Don't turn against each other, blame each other or even divorce because of the child's rebellion;

10. Husband and wife should play their respective roles. If it is a daughter, then the father should speak more from the standpoint of his daughter, communicate more with his daughter, protect his daughter and stop angry words between mother and daughter. If it is a son, then the mother should stand in the son's position, communicate with her son more, protect her son, and stop the sudden violence between father and son in time. Neither mom nor dad should feel sorry for themselves because of their isolated position in the family. Just a role, the purpose is clear, so that children can get through this period safely.

1 1, give your child the right guidance, don't dwell on the mistakes your child made before, even if your child makes mistakes, tell your child that there are no perfect people in the world, and great people in the world are like this at your age. Might as well buy some relevant biographies for your children.

12. Buy more books for children and take them to exercise. Children need emotional and physical venting. Books can help children find a place to vent their emotions, exercise and consume physical strength.

13, ... Children who grow up in relatively democratic families will show relatively weak rebellion. The ultimate reason is that the parents of democratic families have taught their children rational thinking, good hobbies and habits, and the children have known themselves for a long time and have been knowing themselves. I remember a passage in my previous blog post, which I heard from my classmates. Her daughter asked her, mom, why didn't I have a rebellious period like my classmates? My classmate told her daughter that you are a boat, mom and dad are water, and the steering wheel is in your hand, but when mom and dad find that your direction may be wrong, we will change the direction of the water slightly. You always think you can control your direction. You don't feel someone suppressing you. Who are you going to rebel with?