What are the best text messages this year?

1. An old couple went to take pictures. The photographer asked: "Uncle, do you want side light, backlight, or full light?" The uncle said shyly: "I don't care, can I give it to you?" Auntie, leave a pair of pants? "

2. A group of ants climbed onto the elephant's back, but were shaken off. Only one ant held on to the elephant's neck tightly. The ants below were huge. Shouted: strangle him, strangle him, you little boy, you fucking did it the other way around!

3. The ant is lying lazily in the soil with one leg stretched out. Your friend asks you what you are doing? Ant: The elephant will come later, trip him up.

4. When a magpie comes, mother says it is a happy bird and a guest; when a swallow comes, mother says it is a beneficial bird and a guest; when a crow comes, the child asks, are you also a guest? The crow cries: Yes, I am a hacker!

5. A beautiful woman found that her lipstick was too heavy, so she wiped it with a wet tissue and threw it on the road. An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time and suddenly realized, he caught up and said: Girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off!

6. A girl is so ugly that she cannot marry and hopes to be trafficked. My dream finally came true, but I couldn’t sell it for half a month. The kidnappers sent her back, but she refused to get out of the car. The kidnappers gritted their teeth and stamped their feet: Let's go, I don't want the car.

7. On the plane, a parrot said to the flight attendant: "Bring me a glass of water," and the pig also He imitated the parrot and said to the stewardess, "Bring me a glass of water." The stewardess was furious and threw both the parrot and the pig off the plane. At this time, the parrot said to the pig: "You are stupid, I can fly."

8. An old farmer was hoeing in the field, and a crow flew over and dropped some shit on the old farmer's face. On the street, the old farmer raised his head and yelled: "CAO, your mother! You don't even know how to wear underpants when you go out!" The crow said: "CAO! You are wearing underpants when you are shitting!"

9. One day on a crowded bus A conversation in the book is as follows: A standing pregnant woman said to a man sitting next to her: "Don't you know I'm pregnant?" "(I want him to give up his seat...) The man said nervously: "The child is not mine! 』

10. One day, a certain gentleman’s wife gave birth to a baby. He hurried to the hospital to visit him. After waiting for n hours, there was crying in the delivery room. He shouted happily, I’m going to do it. Dad! At this time, the doctor came out with a sad face and told him that the child was born with a congenital malformation. A certain gentleman stayed there and didn't understand why. Suddenly his wife shouted from the delivery room: It's all God's fault. I read the post but don't reply. It's retribution.

11. A pair of lovers He was caught by savages in the mountains and said, "You eat each other's shit and I'll let you go." The lover did it, and the woman cried loudly on the way back. The man asked why, and the woman sadly said: You don't love me, otherwise you wouldn't poop so much!

12. A puppy climbed up on your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You said angrily: I will do whatever you dare to do to that roast chicken, but the result is small. The dog licked the chicken's butt and you fainted. The dog happily said: Let's see who is cruel.

13. Two dumplings got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was shocked and asked where the bride was. Meatballzi said shyly: I hate it, you won’t recognize her when she takes off her clothes!