What is the mentality of betrayal and betrayal? How can I get out?

What is the mentality of betrayal and betrayal? How can I get out? If we only discuss this issue from the perspective of human instinct and emotion, then "betrayal" is the re-embodiment and promotion of self-worth. Being betrayed is the lack and weakening of self-worth. Betrayers and betrayers have completely opposite mentality. One is that traitors regain or concretize because of betrayal, while traitors experience the pain of lack and weakening of self-worth. At the same time, a problem is the imbalance of their values.

For example, one of them cheated on the other for the sake of the relationship between husband and wife. From the perspective of moral value orientation, it must be that the derailed party has a happy mentality (feeling), while the one who has not cheated, that is, the betrayed party has a painful mentality (feeling). The pleasure and pain between the two are diametrically opposed, but what is the reason for this opposition? Is the traitor unable to get what he needs, or is the traitor unable to provide what he needs? Of course, there will also be a question, that is, is the quality required by traitors equal to the quality provided by traitors? Therefore, there must be essential problems between betrayer and betrayer.

If this kind of substantive or essential problem exists, it is unfair to condemn the betrayer blindly, because the betrayer may weaken the actual value of the betrayer in his own experience because of some problem, and the betrayer wants to experience or enjoy his own actual value again, so betrayal will naturally appear. Of course, the betrayer will definitely be condemned if it is bound by social morality and contract, but the real problem is that the value orientation relationship between betrayer and betrayer is not completely exposed, which is a biased discussion caused by socially suppressed contract.

The betrayer will strive for his pleasure, and the betrayer will certainly accept the pain of its lack of value and weakening, just like your banana looks good, but at 5 yuan a catty, the banana I sell is better than yours, at 4 yuan a catty. Then whose banana do you think the buyer will definitely buy my banana? This argument does not include moral argument, because it is more straightforward from the essential needs of people. What can be reflected in society is the reality of human nature, that is, the satisfaction of self-needs. In fact, there will be no * * view on this point in society, because there are too many restrictive constraints and they are artificial, so some of them violate the natural laws of human nature, but they can meet the needs of ensuring the continuous evolution of human beings.

The ancients said that "the head of all evil", the continuous continuation of human beings, is it not the performance of this evil "obscenity" that makes human beings develop to the present? Of course, this kind of "obscenity" has a social contract and a husband-wife relationship, but the content of the behavior is the same. It can also be understood that this "obscenity" is placed outside, and he is a "obscenity" and the head of all evil. When this "obscenity" is put in, it is "love". It can also be understood as "right" when it is needed and "wrong" when it is not needed. In fact, it is the oppression of human nature, of course, in order to facilitate people to manage people. In short, no matter whether there are joy and pain factors in the relationship between betrayer and betrayer, human expectations will always cycle between gains and losses, which is a natural law that cannot be changed or violated.

Answer, only from the psychological point of view, is the instinct of human nature to discuss this issue, only from the emotional point of view of human beings to answer the question, not including other aspects of betrayal.

I have been married for 10 years. I was betrayed and I chose to forgive.

I met him when I was 19 years old. I became a mother before I was 2 1 year old, because he was going to help his uncle. His uncle started a business in other places, and his son was just born and separated. Because I just started a business, I have to follow up many things myself, so I am very busy. He must have come back to see us once in the first half of the month, and then his business grew bigger and bigger, opening several branches. Once when I came back, he was with his brother at night, but I kept hearing the phone ringing in the room and answered it. He has two mobile phones, and I know the password. When I opened it, it was a disgusting message from a woman. His chat record was not deleted, so I opened a line. The more I watched it, the more tears flowed. I was very sad and caught off guard. I didn't think too much at that time, so I put my son on it. It really hurts to cry while walking. I texted him and asked him. He called me, but I wouldn't listen. I didn't reply to the message. I dare not go back to my parents' house to find my best friend. He took me in for a few days, but I can't keep running away. We must communicate and solve it. He told me that he was under great pressure, and he was really lonely and impulsive at night. Kneel down.

Some people may think that I am stupid and can't be unfaithful a hundred times at a time. It is now 10 year. He is more and more kind, tolerant and considerate to me. Although there is a thorn in his heart, he said that if he missed it once, he wouldn't do it again. There is only one wife! I don't think we can deny it once. Give it a chance. Marriage is not easy. If you choose not to let go easily, love is a lifelong commitment of both parties. I wish you all! ! !

Now that I think about it, it is estimated that not many brothers who have the same experience can handle this matter better than me. I can't describe the heartbreak when I found it. Anyway, I was equivalent to dying once, shivering and sweating for a while, then I was calm and spent the night reflecting on myself.

First, inform her family that it's not my fault for making any choice. The retarded woman's hair turned white a lot overnight.

Second, ask her why she is so unclean and ruined her life like this. If you are not satisfied with me, you can get a divorce. Your life is still perfect. Now it's over between you and me.

Third, her attitude is ok, and I have a great responsibility. I think it's great to earn a few dollars. I am inconsiderate, indifferent and disrespectful to her. I often scold her in front of her relatives and friends, but she keeps holding back? Look at yourself, just let a colleague she has known for ten years treat him as a big brother, trust a love rat to play tricks and even cajole him.

Fourth, you must avenge your wife, your family and your life. First, we should start at home and then go to work. It is estimated that he might as well die around that month. After that, someone interceded for him and asked him to spit out 250 thousand a month. My goal is simple. Since it is compensation, it is necessary to compensate for the pain in his bones. Now I feel uncomfortable, and I feel that 250 thousand is quite heavy. I didn't suffer. People have grown up, my family. How to live happily in the future and be kind to yourself. My former self was really immature and heartless to the point where any woman could not stand it. After heart-to-heart, we chose to give each other a chance for the sake of our children. To tell the truth, our home is more like home now. However, a few months after love rat lost money, the epidemic broke out again. It is estimated that his wife tortures him to death every day! I really deserve it! God will punish him as soon as it happens! Interesting. I asked him? The fox preys farthest from home. How can you have the heart to destroy my wife, a simple, kind and brainless woman? You're not having an affair, you're playing with your life, okay? His answer was that I treated her badly and gave him courage. I asked him, you only earn100000 a year? Lao tze 400 thousand a year? What the hell are you? He also told me that my youth has just begun and I should get a divorce and find a beautiful young girl to start over. It's you, not her. I want what I deserve. I want to live a better life than before. I balance myself with 250 thousand. What does your wife use to keep her balance?

No matter which side betrays, it is difficult for the other side to come out. I hope to treat each other sincerely, not betray and hurt each other. Please cherish each other, so that you can live a lifetime.

When giving life lessons to my friends, I often give some heartfelt advice. For example, I advise those boys who are troubled by feelings that there are two types of girls that are absolutely not desirable (or unmarried)-one is the girl who betrays you, and the other is the girl who betrays you.

If betrayal is a kind of courage, then accepting betrayal requires greater courage and wisdom. Betraying a person only needs to be brave enough, or it may just be impulsive, but betrayal tests the degree, breadth and depth of tolerance, and tests your endurance, determination and determination-these are not as simple as impulsive. In this process, you will be extremely lonely and helpless, you will be extremely confused and entangled, and you will completely lose sight of hope and future; In this process, only you can be your own guide, and what you pay will be self-torture and self-forgiveness in the long years. Do you think it's worth the effort?

I often think of some irrelevant propositions, such as how much courage does it take to forgive someone?

All over the world, men and women with such a mind are the best.

Surely you are not, neither is she, and there are many others who are not.

Don't look back if you betray. If the person you betrayed has such courage and wisdom, you probably can't betray her.

To be a responsible person, at least, you should know how to be responsible for yourself and your choices, including your betrayal and responsibility.

No matter whether you cheat once or many times, as long as there is evidence, you will be sentenced to 10 years, and those who destroy other people's families will be sentenced to 20 years without commutation. The current marriage law protects the state of derailment, and the evidence is hard to find. Cohabitation takes more than three months, and few people can get it.

The difference between man and beast lies in self-discipline. Marriage is a contract between two people. At first, it was your love and my wish, and the scenery was good all the way. The other wants to go elsewhere and lose the spirit of contract, and the other is still self-disciplined. Because seeing other scenery, going home to see the original place, being dissatisfied everywhere, finding fault everywhere, making the self-disciplined party doubt itself and always trying to find reasons from themselves, this is the viciousness of traitors. I am happy, and I can't get out by dragging the other half into the abyss. Betrayers must have a strong heart. Now that you find yourself betrayed, fight back. It's not your fault. It's that man has fallen from man to beast. What's the point of the beast? He will only look at you coldly and jump up and down, which shows that the eyes of wild animals are inhuman.

Betrayal is wrong first. Betrayal is innocent and harmful. Both exist at the same time and cannot be separated.

Take husband and wife as an example: it turns out that husband and wife are living wholeheartedly, working hard for this family, for each other, for themselves and for their children. But the weather is unpredictable, and the moon is sunny and round. Unexpected things happen from time to time-my husband doesn't know when there is a woman outside. And the wife is still in the dark. When the truth comes out one day, the husband is a traitor and the wife is a traitor who has been cheated without fault.

What is the mentality of the two people and how to get out? The answer is as follows:

1. Betrayers are full of dreams and fears. Go your own way, abandon your wife and marry a child. When my husband betrayed his wife, he felt guilty-because his extramarital affairs were shameful and illegal. At first, I often didn't go home for various reasons or didn't tell my wife when I came back late. Meet my wife coldly, have a bad temper, don't share the same room with my wife, and refuse for various reasons. In fooling around with wild women, he concealed his whereabouts, cheated his wife and had fun with mistress. At this point, he was both excited and worried. What is lively is that there are small ones for you to play with and appreciate; I'm afraid that one day my wife will know what to do. Paradoxically, he leads a double life.

However, where is the windtight wall? Murder will out. When his shameless behavior was exposed one day, he ignored the insults and advice of his wife and others, took risks, abandoned his wife and children and ran away for a mistress. Judge others at will.

2. The betrayer is heartbroken. In the end, he will live alone or remarry according to his own wishes. When the wife found that there was a woman outside her husband, she felt cheated. His wife is puzzled-why he, who lives with himself wholeheartedly, has become another person and is obsessed with wild women. Is she better than me? All kinds of doubts keep his wife awake at night, unable to eat, and unable to sleep all day.

However, it is useless to be sad, regretful and angry again-my husband's heart is no longer with him. Divorce is just what he wants.

The wife had a hard time in anger and remorse. As time goes on, the troubles gradually fade away. Dry your tears and start over. Or live alone, or find a man to remarry, in order to compete with her ex-husband.

It is shameful to betray others, and it is not shameful for others; It is a kind of sorrow to be betrayed and sympathize with others.

No matter what, people have to live and move on. I can't help living wherever I go! ? The former's life, only he knows, may be a blessing or a curse; What is the life of the latter? I think she was abandoned. Even if she remarries or lives unhappy alone, she has a clear conscience and can sleep well at night.

He lost someone who cared about him, and you lost someone who didn't care about you. Who loses more? I wish I could let go a little. I still have a lot of things to do, don't immerse yourself in such sadness.

I tell you, the betrayer seems to have the upper hand and hurt others. In fact, subconscious guilt will accompany you all your life, and you can't get out. Maybe you will be complacent in the wine field in the later years, boasting about how you used to be, but in fact you are also convinced that you are scum! The betrayed person will be hit to the bottom at that time, and will finally stand up again through self-construction. Although there will be wounds, his heart is open! The devil and angel are between this idea, and the deep brand will accompany them all their lives. Those who betray will bear the brand of life and cannot turn over, but those who are betrayed are only born again.