Middle school students humorous jokes

A collection of humorous jokes for middle school students

Humor is like a bridge that narrows the distance between people and bridges the gap between people. Below I have collected some humorous jokes for middle school students, take a look.

Humorous jokes for middle school students 1

1. Now you have to work hard, take the postgraduate entrance examination, study for a doctorate after a master's degree, study for a postdoc after a doctorate, and then work harder and strive to get to Pre-Ph.D.

2. Even though I don’t have a house, the sky is like the roof and the ground is like a bed. Don't look at it, I don't have money, I only have one job to spend the New Year. If you want to grab the territory, challenge us to go to the Moon Lake.

3. What is the difference between a tall person and a short person? Answer: All the tall people see in the crowd are heads, while all the short people see in the crowd are legs.

4. I heard people say that you always act cool recently, drink wolf wine and walk like a dog, sing folk songs and walk like a cat, wear a lovelorn hairstyle and walk with passionate steps, a pair of eyes that pick out tatters, Lu is still looking for love everywhere, wow! Really cool.

5. My failure in foreign languages ??proves that I am patriotic; I show off all day long, but I actually don’t have a wife; I have a small belly, pretending to be Maitreya Buddha; I chirp everywhere, like a giant grasshopper.

6. Love is like a brick, love is like a mountain. It doesn’t matter how many bricks you have, just one is enough. The mountain doesn’t matter how high you are, just keep it for a lifetime.

7. Rules of conduct: Seducing people with beautiful appearance; deceiving people with true lies; winning over people with cheap feelings; managing people with a cold mentality!

8. Above If there is any similarity in content, it is purely your fault and mine. Humorous Jokes for Middle School Students 2

1. A boy chases a girl, and the girl doesn’t agree, so the boy sends 300 text messages to the girl every day to greet him.

A year later, the girl was moved and accepted the boy's pursuit. The girl asked the boy why he was so persistent. The boy said, China Mobile's mission!

2. Five-year-old Qiangqiang said: "Valentine's Day is celebrated by a man and a woman, so are you willing to be with me?" Do you want to look at the moon?" Four-year-old Niuniu replied: "I will go if there is candy."

3. In Chinese vocabulary, "mother" and "mother" are synonyms, both referring to mother. An international student who had just learned Chinese fell in love with a beautiful Chinese girl on campus, so he wrote a courtship letter to the girl. However, he forgot how to write the word "mother", so he thought he was smart and replaced "mother" with "mother". Mother, so the love letter begins with: "Dear aunt..."

4. A young man has three good girlfriends, one is a doctor, one is a telephone operator, and the other is a teacher.

One day, the young man asked his mother which of them was suitable to be his partner. The mother immediately replied: "My child, of course, is the female teacher!"

"Why? ”

“Isn’t this clear? Because the doctor always says ‘it’s the next one’, and the phone operator often says something like ‘please be brief’,

But the female teacher is different from them. She always says so kindly, "Let's do it again. We might as well try again. Don't be discouraged. We will succeed in the end." '"

5. The husband complained that his wife wasted money. The wife gritted her teeth: You said I was wasting money? You are the one who wasted money. Husband: Why was I wasting money? The wife pointed to the fire extinguisher: For example, you I haven’t used it even once after buying it for 2 years!

6. Xiao Zhang’s wife loves to nag. One time, Xiao Zhang said to a friend: “My wife came back from a vacation at the beach. What do you think the result will be?” Friend. Can’t guess. Xiao Zhang said: “Her tongue is tanned. ”

7. Seriously ill wife: What will you do if I die? The husband cried: I will not survive alone. The wife was moved and passed away! Not long after, his husband I found another girlfriend.

Humorous Jokes for Middle School Students 3

1. Choose a lover who is as gentle as water and sweet as honey, a colleague who works hard and has no temper, and a friend who has a pig-headed dog-brain and a runny nose, so, my dear, celebrate the New Year. Wipe your nose quickly and celebrate the New Year cleanly!

2. Napoleon: I can’t find the word "missed" in my dictionary.

3. Eat watermelon to reduce fever and refresh your body. Cucumber is for beauty, winter melon is for bowel cleansing and diuresis, and the most delicious cantaloupe is sweet. You are the same family as them. Why are you hiding underground? It turns out that you are a sweet potato.

4. In order to spend money, you fall in love with making money. Because making money is hard, you dare not spend money. My friend, I know your difficulties, and I would like to wish you a prosperous business and a successful career. Congratulations on getting rich!

5. My marriage proposal does not require any conditions, only a date time: not on a single day, not on double days. ; It won’t work if it’s sunny, it won’t rain, it won’t work if it’s cloudy; it won’t work on working days, it won’t work on holidays; it won’t work on the first day of the lunar month, it won’t work on the 15th day of the lunar month; it won’t work in spring and autumn, it won’t work in winter and summer; when will we meet, haha, do you understand?

6. Xiao Ling thought: This is easy to handle, just open another hole and let the water flow out. So, he used scissors to make another hole in the sole of the boot. If the water in the rain boots accumulates more and more.

7. The child came to his mother crying. The mother asked: What’s wrong, baby? Child: Dad accidentally hit his finger with a hammer. Mom: Then why are you crying? Child: Because I just laughed.

8. Cherish life--If God lets you live, then he must have his arrangements.

9. When I miss you, I don’t dare to call you, for fear of hearing your voice; the sad thing is that I always miss you, but I can’t always stop calling. So, I excitedly picked up the phone and dialed you, hello? Why isn’t it you? Dizzy! It turns out that my phone is in arrears!

10. Once, when the bus was about to leave, a The woman with heavy make-up chased after her, "Master, master, don't go, wait for me." Then the bus master suddenly said, "I am in a hurry to reincarnate." The female demon quickly got out of the way, don't miss my return home. What a good time! Then he drove forward in a hurry!

11. Your way of speaking is called bullshit in rhetoric.

12. As long as you can dance well with a hoe, there is no corner that cannot be dug down?

13. If someone pursues her, there is no woman in the world who will not be in high spirits. That's why women are so fascinating.

14. One day, I told you that you were a pig, and you said: It’s weird that I am a pig. So I started calling you a pig. Finally one day you couldn’t help but declare loudly in front of everyone: I am not a pig!

15. I like rainy days, I like hearing the sound of rain hitting banana trees, I like watching roses swaying in the wind, and I like watching you even more. The charming gesture of gently stroking your long hair in the drizzle, you are so small, you will not be wetted to death! Humorous jokes for middle school students 4

1. Accumulate, accumulate, accumulate, if you don’t know, you won’t know; the test is exciting enough, but there is no question knowledge; I don’t understand when I go to class, and I mess with many styles; I learn the same knowledge on my own, but even if I ignore it, it will accumulate; I am a Chinese by birth, and I will be a Chinese soul by death; if you want me to learn English, it is impossible; my unqualified English only shows my character; If I fail in math, the teacher is fully responsible; if I fail in Chinese, there is nothing I can do about it; if I do well in the exam, it all depends on doing well in isolation; if I fail in the exam, I don’t know how to do it in isolation; I am even more worried when I go back to school every day, and the teacher talks nonsense I feel like I'm sleepwalking, and I'm criticized for no reason; I have too much homework, and I feel like taking revenge, and I feel like I'm trying to get my head out of my head; I go back to school as a Zuo Ni, and I'm being criticized every day; I copy all my homework, and I'm not good at it. Don't pay each other; go back to school and wait for the end of school, drink Coca-Cola after school; ring the clock and go off, just another day.

2. I really want to be a boss, and there is no shortage of money in my hands; my salary is paid daily and monthly, and I can change the method if I want; before my salary is enough, my wife snatches most of it; after paying the water, electricity and house mortgage, The balance is only a handful; so tighten your belt and see you next month’s salary!

3. I don’t intend to be different, but how can I have outstanding taste?

4. Kong Linghui has worked hard to take care of his family for more than ten years.

5. It’s noon on working days, and it’s really hard to make money. Who knows that the money in the bag is not enough to make ends meet every month.

Break it into two petals, and it will still be tight at the end of the month. He quickly asked the God of Wealth to offer incense, candles, melons and fruits at home. I wish my friends to be protected by the God of Wealth all year round, to spend money without having to worry about making money, and to make money without having to worry about having nowhere to spend it!

6. Female: I have no feelings for you. Me: OK, you can go. Woman: How did you speak? Me: I like direct people. If you tell me directly how you feel, then I will also tell you directly how I feel. Woman: You are so stingy. Me: This is called a frank exchange of views between the host and the guest.

7. When asked what love is in the world, the sage replied: "Trash!"

8. What is really scary is not playing the piano to a cow, but a group of cows playing the piano to you.

9. I have been thinking about you recently, so I have to pray hard. I wish you to be charming, work hard, be courageous in doing things, and make a lot of money and profits. I wish you a beautiful love and a smooth life. Work hard towards happiness, and wish you always be in a bright mood!

10. Cold on Monday, braised on Tuesday, steamed on Wednesday, fried on Thursday, stir-fried on Friday, with happy seasoning and leisurely wine , I will make a blessing meal for you on this weekend. May you enjoy it happily.

11. People live their lives no matter what. Don’t be too cold in winter, don’t be too hot in summer. Don’t pretend to be poor if you have money. Don’t show off if you don’t have money. Instead of frowning, it’s better to have fun secretly. Friends are always remembered, and life will be full of joy!

12. Why did Guan Yu die earlier than Zhang Fei? Answer: Beauty is a bad person...

13. The mouse fell in love with the cat, singing : I love you, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice. No matter how many winds and rains there are, I will still be with you. Cat: Don’t be pretentious. My mother said that falling in love without the purpose of getting married is just a hooligan! Middle School Student Humorous Joke 5

1. When the rich man came home, the gatekeeper opened the door to him respectfully. , and then shouted to him unscrupulously: "How are you, old guy? Where are you fooling around again? Are you picking up girls?" The rich man replied calmly: "No, I went to buy a hearing aid."

2. The old man was learning to ride a motorcycle, but ended up crashing into the fence of his neighbor's house and breaking several ribs. The doctor took the X-ray film to look at, and the old man also came forward: Well, you can see the fence, but why can't you see the motorcycle?

3. Shit and pee are good brothers. One day I was hit by a car while crossing the road, so I said, "I really want to poop."

4. There is a bun shop near the subway station, and the business is very good. There is a queue next to the train station every day. Ticket sales point. Today I was queuing up to buy steamed buns to eat. As I was about to get there, I heard two men behind me saying: "Wow, it turns out this is a steamed bun shop selling train tickets!"

5. A certain gentleman finally became famous. , so he invited a painter to his home. "I invite you here for no other reason than to draw a portrait of me. I hope you can try your best to capture my expression." The artist stared at the gentleman's face for a while and said, "I'm sorry! I can't draw cartoons. .

6. A short-sighted man was walking on the street, and suddenly a strong wind blew away the black hat he was wearing. At this time, he immediately chased after him. A woman shouted to him: "Hey, sir, what are you doing?" "I'm chasing my hat!" He replied breathlessly, "You're chasing my black hen!"

7. The photographer asked Xiaodai how many seconds he needed to prepare. Xiaodai obviously stretched out three fingers, but why did the photographer press the shutter button immediately? Because Xiaodai stretched out his middle finger, ring finger and little finger. OK means!

8. After several days and nights of breathing by Beijingers, the air quality in Beijing has finally improved, and the new Beijing spirit was born: "Honesty carries the fog, and self-improvement does not suck. Work hard to create gray and yellow again!” Facts have once again proved that it is expensive to breathe in fog!…

9. Marriage notice: If you don’t like makeup, save money on makeup. If you don’t like to cheat, save money. If you don’t like to eat snacks, save money for shopping. If you don’t like to take a car, save money for buying a car. In addition, it’s best if you like to save money.

10. The girl is twenty-eight years old and has a difficult life and lacks money. Today she went online to seek marriage, hoping to find a rich man. Age is not a distance, height is not a gap, and I don’t care about being fat. As long as If you have money, I can be with you. If you don't have money, don't contact me.

11. When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. But when I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me...

12. Spending money will make you happy. Pain, living in every corner around me, it hurts to pay utility bills, buy daily necessities, even sending text messages hurts; the joy of making money hurts, rolling back and forth in my blood, my head hurts when I work overtime, and my business is busy My body hurts. It would be nice if my salary was increased!

13. Making money is like a sporadic drizzle, but spending money is like a heavy snow. There are so many things in front of you, but your pockets are empty. He gritted his teeth, stamped his feet, clutched his wallet and ran away. I wish my friends success in their careers, abundant financial resources, countless money, and my hands cramping from counting the money. ;