How to send drinks to friends by SMS?

I don't know if there are any humorous short messages suitable for you!

Take your time! Happy wedding!

1232 Please touch your little red face first, and then touch your little belly! All right! This lecture on pig raising knowledge is over. See you tomorrow! humorous

Honestly, are you secretly thinking about me? Are you really thinking about me secretly? If you really miss me, just tell me! I won't let you miss me. Be reasonable. I miss you too! humorous

Two drunks were walking on the tracks, and one complained, "Why isn't this staircase finished?" . The other snorted and said, "Its armrest is still so bottom." humorous

The so-called "finger-belly marriage" in 843 is-pointing to the girlfriend's stomach and saying to her parents, "Mom and Dad, we are getting married".

A wife searches her husband thoroughly every day to see if she can find a woman's hair. One day, after searching for nothing for a long time, she scolded: Now you even want a nun! humorous

84 1 Unexpectedly, I was so unfaithful to me. She didn't come home last night and asked where she had gone. She told me that she was with her sister all night, but I was with her sister last night. humorous

Feeling the ineptness of today's advertisements, Professor Huang sighed with emotion: I thought that an advertisement I made in those years was catchy and well known to all women and children-Yuejin brand menstrual belt, which crossed more and more. humorous

A Japanese man had a good name before his child was born: the boy was called chop and change, and the girl was called unmarried. humorous

A woman went to visit relatives in the army. When filling out the registration form, she didn't know what "relationship" was, so she filled it in as "three times a week" The soldier on duty pointed out that this was wrong and there was no choice but to fill in "seven times a week". humorous

Man: I want to tell you all my infidelity in the past. Woman: Didn't you tell me everything three days ago? Man: But that was three days ago. Humor.

83 1 since ancient times, there have been no charming mothers on the internet, and flowers and willows have lined up. Occasionally I see three or two pairs of mandarin ducks, and they are also perverted pheasants. humorous

An audience was overjoyed to see a famous female TV announcer, and said, I can only see your upper body at ordinary times, but today I finally see your lower body! humorous

When the husband turned on the light, he accidentally left a handprint on the newly painted wall. The next day, my wife called the painter: I want you to see the place my husband touched last night. The painter fainted ... humor.

I am a kind person from a distant village. I want to live in luxury. Farming is afraid of dirty pants, running a factory has no foundation, drug trafficking has no courage, begging is afraid of losing face, and you have to be a duck! humorous

The husband came home and opened the closet. A naked man stood inside with a briefcase. Husband: What are you doing here? The man trembled: If I said I was waiting for the bus, would you believe it?

I wish you every day as smart as a mouse, as strong as a cow, as bold as a tiger, as lovely as a rabbit, as confident as a dragon, as vicious as a snake, as romantic as a horse, as gentle as a sheep, as naughty as a monkey, as beautiful as a chicken, as loyal as a dog and as fat as a pig! Hahahahahahaha trick expert

Today, there are four kinds of soil: mobile phones wear condoms, pagers wear handcuffs, men wear vests and women wear bras. Who are you? A cunning mind

Comrade 828, I'm really sorry. You just came to me and said you wanted to buy two porn movies. As a result, I gave you two CDs of children learning English at the moment. Please return them to our store as soon as possible. A cunning mind

The white clouds in the sky are fluttering slowly, the stream in the valley is gurgling, the beloved girl rushes by, your pants fall off one by one ... your ass is on fire.

Play with me, son! You were still liquid when I came out to mix! A cunning mind

8 16 I wish you a happy old turtle in the East China Sea and a long life in Nanshan Dashitou. A cunning mind

8 14 You are very kind-heartless! You are a genius-a born fool! You're cute-poor nobody loves you! A cunning mind

8 13 do you think you can suck all the fart smell away by bending your head and sucking hard after farting every time? ! A cunning mind

Congratulations, the message you just received will be recorded in the history of world communication, because it is the first message paid by the receiver, and the price is 10000 RMB! A cunning mind

805 urgent order: Want money but no money, want talent and no talent, want appearance, has been listed as "three no people". You must leave the city within 24 hours after receiving the order, or hell to pay! A cunning mind

You have an angel's face, a devil's figure, and even a perfect fart posture. Can you control the rhythm in public? A cunning mind

Warning: pinhole camera was installed in your bathroom three months ago, and VCD will be delivered to you by courier three days later. Please check it! A cunning mind

Dear users, your mobile phone will stop at zero tomorrow! If you want to ask why, with your IQ, it is difficult for us to explain it to you clearly! A cunning mind

80 1 A pig ran as fast as it could, and suddenly a wall appeared in front of it. It didn't bypass it, but hit it. Why? Don't you understand? It's simple. No sharp turns! A cunning mind

There is a great pig in 800 miles. He sleeps until ten o'clock every day, and only five bowls of rice are at the bottom. No one can match the weight. Where is the pig? Look through the text messages. A cunning mind

All the pigs in the world died overnight (put a song title) ... at least you!

Thank you for accompanying the sky with white clouds, the sky with the earth, the earth breeds creatures, and the creatures decorate the world, the world, because there is you in the world: my favorite person! Nice words

14 17 Love has its ups and downs. I hope my true feelings can make our love forever young, and my tenderness can make our love heal and make our love never wither. Nice words

14 1 1 I love holding your slender hands, I love holding your soft body, I love your bright eyes when you are naughty, I love your lips when you are coquetry, and I also have the arrogant expression when you are unreasonable. Nice words

1408 You are a lamp that illuminates my life; You are a cup of tea, soothing my tired nerves; You are a tree, covering the hot sun above me; You are a kind of love, accompany me all my life. Nice words

1406 I really want to write your name on a cigarette and breathe it deeply into my lungs, closest to my heart, so that you can truly feel that there is only you in my heart and my heart beats only for you. Sweet words.

1403 If you have smelled the flowers, don't ask who my flowers are for. I love them very much, and I am drunk enough to know that wine is strong. Flowers bloom and fall, and fate never stops. Like the spring breeze, women are like flowers and dreams. Nice words

139 1 knit a sweater with the horizon to send you, no matter where you go, you will never leave my sight; Knit a sweater with your eyes and give it to you. Wherever you go, I will see you. Nice words

1388 I miss you every starry night; I miss your happy time all the time; I hope you miss you all the time! Love you every second between breaths. Nice words

1387 when love is not perfect, I would rather choose no regrets; No matter how wonderful the afterlife is, I don't want to lose my memory of you in this life. I don't want eternal beauty, I just want to have you in the cycle of life and death! Nice words

1386 can you catch the trace of geese flying in the sky, can you hear the sound of flowers blooming on the ground? You can read all the vows in the world, can you hear the three most common words I say to you-I love you sweet words?

1382 Meeting you is the fate of this life, falling in love with you is the fate of this life, and accompanying you is the life of this life. Nice words

1380 if a love needs to be guarded for a lifetime; A commitment needs a lifetime commitment. I am willing to love you for the rest of my life, and then I will engrave it on my inscription forever. Nice words

1377 fish said: I keep my eyes open all day because I don't want you to leave all the time! Water said: I flow all day because I want to hug you all the time! Nice words

1370 love+love = two copies of love; Love-love = selfless love; Love × love = infinite love; Love, love = the only love, sweet words

1369 Every boy was once a demon in hell. When he meets the girl he likes, he will be tempted-so he becomes a mortal. So girls must not let boys down, or boys will go back to that terrible hell! Nice words

The strangeness of 1368 does not mean eternity. Inadvertently, some kind of tacit understanding continued our friendship. In the lonely journey, I can receive your earnest concern and sincere blessing every day. I am grateful to have you with me in the world of mortals.

There are two kinds of massage: sensory enjoyment and sexual enjoyment. Be aware of subtle but important differences. One will make your partner relax and fall asleep quickly. The other one will ... flirt with each other.

14 10 Zodiac: I wish you smart as a mouse, strong as an ox, bold as a tiger, cute as a rabbit, confident as a dragon, charming as a snake, romantic as a horse, naughty as a sheep, beautiful as a monkey, loyal as a dog and dragon as a pig:) Lovers tease.

1402 I'm afraid of getting an electric shock when I see you; I can't see you, I need to recharge; Without you, I would cut off the power. Love you is my career, miss you is my career, hug you is my specialty, kiss you is my specialty! Lover teasing

140 1 weather forecast: I miss you a little from tonight to tomorrow morning, and I expect to miss you continuously in the afternoon. Affected by this low mood, the night will become a crazy dream, and the mood will drop by five degrees. It is expected that this weather will last until I see you. Lover teasing

1400 let me build a beautiful hut in your heart, and don't mind others saying it's illegal. Lover teasing

1394 you, you, you little leprechaun, poisoned me with your love poison, but refused to give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love! Lover teasing

1392 You blink and I die. If you blink again, I will come back to life. Your eyes keep blinking, so I will die! Lover teasing

1385 tells you that with you, you are everything! Without you around, everything is a tease from your lover.

1379 if I were a judge, I would sentence you to life imprisonment, imprisonment in your heart and no bail. Lover teasing

1378 forgive me for telling a stranger your mobile phone number. His name is Cupid, and he said he would help me tell you that my heart likes you, my heart cares about you and my heart is waiting for you. Lover teasing

1376 want roses? I won't give it to you! Do you want to eat chocolate? I will haunt you to death! Want me to kiss you? Beautiful! Oh, honey, don't be angry, I just miss you in Doby! Lover teasing

1375 What will happen to you and me? One, very much in love, two, grow old together, three, last forever, four, the above answers are correct. Please reply to the text message to confirm. Lover teasing

I don't think we are really suitable for lovers ... would you like to be my wife ... lovers tease.

I overheard you say to God that you won't get married unless I get married, so I don't want you to betray God ... lovers tease.

I am watched to death by my mother ... I would rather marry you than be read to death by her ... Please help me ... make fun of my lover.

Love is like tonsils, which get inflamed in spring.

Remember my name and phone number and call me when you are lonely-I am willing to wait for you all my life. True confession

142 1 I have met many other people over the years and come to a conclusion that you are the only one I love most, and I am willing to make you happy all my life.

14 18 like is light love, love is deep love. Dear, you are the one who makes me deeply like you! True confession

Honey, you stole my love and my heart. I decided to go to court. What should I convict you of? After the judge searched all the records and cases, the jury unanimously passed: sentence you to accompany me for life! True confession

14 12 Romance is the cloud that makes it flow freely, but reality is the land that carries life. Both, especially the tenable reality. True confession

1409 You may forget your ID number, your email address, or your wedding anniversary. However, I hope you will never forget my phone number. True confession

1404 What I want to hear most is your laughter and what I want to see most is your happiness. May happiness always accompany you. This is my most sincere blessing! True confession

1397 I want to ask the way: please tell me how to get to your heart. True confession

1396 maybe, in your life, I was just an accident. To me, you are the greatest miracle. True confession

1393 girlfriend I want: I have the same personality, the same looks, the same looks and the same cuteness as you, which makes me feel exactly like you! True confession

1374 A flower picked for a long time withered, but I couldn't bear to throw it away. An umbrella lasted for a long time, but I didn't remember to collect it when the rain stopped. After a long walk, I can't make it to the end. I thought for a long time before saying: it's good to have you! I can't figure out what you want; Wear clothes without styling; I don't get along with anyone; No matter where you go, you are not welcome; I can't keep up with Lenin in thinking; My heart stopped when I was fine! Oh, dear, come to me! Deeply miss

1407 how about two tender feelings, as thin as silk and as ethereal as waves. The moon is not often round and the flowers are easy to fall, and I am disappointed all my life. Deeply miss

1405 May all happiness accompany you, with your head up in spring and your head down at the dance; May all happiness follow you, the full moon is a poem, and the lack of the moon is a painting! Deeply miss

1390 in the long night, listening to the cars coming and going in the city, a wandering and lonely heart is thinking about you. I wonder if you understand from afar, you will always be my favorite! Do wait for me! Deeply miss

1383 do you know that you can walk out of my field of vision, but you will never walk out of my yearning for you? You can stay away from my shadow, but you can never stay away from my deep attachment to you. Deeply miss

The sky is not blue without you! Without your flowers, it is not gorgeous! Without your meal, it doesn't smell good! Without your dream, it is not sweet! Honey, I really want to be with you all the time! Deeply miss

75 1 Don't ask me where I am, and don't worry that I will forget you. When you miss me, I miss you too! Deeply miss

Honey, please don't blame me too much. I just care too much about you. Please don't give me a silent protest. Give me the information quickly, because I miss you so much now. Deeply miss

Miss you, miss you so much, write your name in the cup, drink water and kiss you every day. Miss you, miss you so much, write you in your underwear and protect you personally every day. I miss you deeply.

528 The earth endures, and the sky endures; One day, both will end, and this situation is endless! I am waiting for you to come back. Deeply miss

509 turns my thoughts into mountain flowers, blooms in valleys and hills, blooms in your hair temples, and secretly gives them to you, my favorite bookmark, a thousand times and ten thousand times. I miss you deeply.

I miss you here. Do you miss me? Please give me a reply when you receive my message! Deeply miss

Loving you is a sin and a kind of happiness. I want to forget you, but every time I miss you, I can't give up my unforgettable concern. Deeply miss

When I miss you, I know I really care about you! Deeply miss

I miss you deeply, I miss you deeply ... my love, do you know? For me, your smile is the most important thing! Deeply miss

Recalling the days when we were together, my mood is hazy. Your youthful body always comes to my dreams with moonlight, which makes me worry.

1373 Buddha said that looking back 500 years, it is a brush. Maybe I accidentally bumped into you with a headache. Send me a message if you want to chat! True confession

1372 If there is an afterlife, let's be a pair of mice. Stupid love, plain life, clumsy snuggling, silly together. Even if the snow closes the mountain, you can still nest in the haystack and hold your ears tightly ... confession.

137 1 won't tell you that I like you! I'm so sleepy. I have to pronounce your name before I can sleep. You have a rest. I'll tell you I like you when I wake up, okay? True confession

1229 acquaintance is fate, knowing each other is continuation, and staying together is fate. It was fate that brought us together! I hope we can keep going, from origin to fate, from fate to fate ... true confession.

1228 when I love someone, I suddenly don't know what to say when I get through the phone. It turns out that you just want to hear the familiar voice. What I really want to get through is just a string in my heart.

5 1 Teacher: It's time for you to give your son a bath. Nobody wants to sit with him. Parent: What's it to you? My son is here to study, not for you to smell, and he is not a mint flower!

Fisherman: Do you have any fresh fish? I want to buy some. Fisherman: It's sold out. There is only one piece of shark meat left. Fisherman: Oh, forget it! I can't go home and tell my wife that I caught a shark.

You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention, but God has a little temper. You have to live bravely. Without you, who will foil the beauty of the world?

I let a mosquito find you, let it tell you that I miss you very much, let it kiss you for me, and it will tell you how much I miss you!

55 warning. Your mobile phone is about to be detonated due to hacking into the signal system. Please remove the battery of your mobile phone immediately and throw it five meters away. Stop.

Someone rode his bike into the street, crossed a junction and spread his hands. When the traffic police saw it, they exclaimed, "Palm, palm." Someone waved happily and replied, "Comrades have worked hard!"

I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I know it's not good, but if I don't tell you what's in my heart, I'll regret it all my life! I won't force you. If it's really hard, don't pay me back five dollars.

I miss you so much in the morning that I can't eat. At noon, I miss you so much that I can't eat. In the afternoon, I miss you so much that I can't eat. At night, I can't sleep because I'm so hungry.

Husband is the one who always goes to an appointment early before marriage and always comes home late after marriage. He told you ten words before marriage and ten words after marriage.

60 patients entered the dentist's office and began to pay heavily. Dentist: "No need to pay in advance". Patient: "I want to calculate how much money I have in my pocket before you give me an anesthetic!" " "

6 1 I send you a message to wish you a good dream tonight, but I guess you won't see it soon, because pigs are generally asleep now! ! !

Wife: You told me to face east, but I didn't dare to face west. You told me to climb a stool, but I didn't dare to climb a ladder. You told me to eat dry food, but I didn't dare to be thirsty. You told me to wipe my sweat, but I didn't dare to wipe my nose!

When the beauty turned around, she electrocuted a cow; The beauty turns back, and the man has a nosebleed; The beauty turned three times and Jordan played basketball. Beauty four turns around, Bush resigns to sell balloons.

A teacher said to a group of students who often failed, "We used to teach, but now we teach pigs!" " "A classmate replied," You are just a professional pig farmer!

I miss you during the day and at night. Eating, sleeping and dreaming about you. I can't sleep at night without traveling, which is very painful. When can I get your … 5 million prize!

Xiao Ming farted loudly in the elevator. The kitten held her nose with one hand and pointed to a sign on the elevator door with the other and said, "Didn't you see that it said' Handle with Care'?"

If you are a "star" chasing you, if you are a "comet" waiting for you, if you are a "meteor" ignoring you.

Judge, I insist on divorce. My wife and I have nothing in common. "It doesn't matter. You can find an interpreter together. "

You are a little aura, I am a little stupid; You are a little delicate, I am a little rustic; You have a little aroma, I have a little smoke; If you are angry, I won't lose my temper.

Married women are salted fish, divorced women are squid, unmarried women are fresh fish and single women are turtles.

Do you know 7 1? I miss you so much. Guess how much I love you. You don't know? How much I want to be with you and love you by your side … sorry … wrong!

Mike likes driving fast. Once he had an accident, woke up from a coma and groaned, "What is this place?" "103." Someone answered. Mike: "Ward or prison?"

The survey shows that there are 100 people aged from 5 to 35, of whom 65 are working hard, 20 are unemployed, 14 are looking for a job, and the rest are staring at their mobile phones.

Dear users, your mobile phone can be upgraded now. After completion, the mobile phone can display dynamic short messages. Please press 5487 and then press the call button. Please say: I want to upgrade!

Teacher: Classmate, if you are a teacher, what do you want to say to your students most? The students silently stepped onto the platform and said thoughtfully, class is over!

Some people say that you are an ass, and I seriously criticize him: What a shame! You can't just say what people look like!

The teacher asked the monitor to check that students wearing vests and shorts were not allowed to enter the classroom. The monitor said to the teacher helplessly, "They don't want to take off their clothes for me!" " "

I miss you! Think about it day and night! Sitting in the toilet still thinking! Miss you! Miss you! Just can't remember who you are! ..... Call me back and tell me who you are.

On the first day of kindergarten class, the teacher poured a basket of building blocks on the table and let the children play freely. I saw Tintin put the building blocks in front of him and pushed forward, "I am harmonious!"

A thief was caught by the police when he came to the store to steal for the second time. The policeman asked, "Don't you know you're going to be caught?" The thief shook his head and said, "I see it says' Welcome again'!"

8 1 The biggest problem for women is that they never treat men as human beings. They always think that women deserve to make men suffer, and men deserve to die if they make women suffer.

Note that this is a "virus message"! But please rest assured that receiving this message will not cause you too much loss, only delete all the information stored in your mobile phone.

83 1234567, seven little pigs are drying their bellies, and they are anxious to lose one! It turns out that the pig is so naughty that he hides quietly in the corner and uses his little hooves to open his mobile phone to read the information!

When I am in pain and sorrow, when I am lonely, when I am happy, I will miss you ... my dear you! "Old white dry!"

Honey, I love you. If you don't believe me, I can bet anyone with only a dime left in my pocket.

86 said that a dog can imitate people, I ran to see it, but I didn't believe everything I saw: it was actually reading text messages on its mobile phone like a human!

I never regret loving you. I will miss you forever. I miss you so much that I can't sleep. You can't learn if you forget. A little pig is intoxicated in the mobile phone!

Lao Li was on a business trip and got lost. He went over, touched the head of a child playing on the roadside and asked, what is this place, little friend? The child said: This is my head.

I am happy when you are happy, I am happy when you are happy, I am worried when you are thin, and I am smiling when you are strong. Haha, I am rich because I sold you-pig!

This is a well-designed short message. If you look at the phone upside down, you will appreciate the wonderful patterns. ....................................................................................................................................................

9 1 Don't drink too much in the morning, but work in the morning; Don't get drunk at noon and have a meeting in the afternoon; Don't drink it at night, your wife will make noise when you go home!

The vendor selling trousers on 92nd Street suddenly saw the industrial and commercial tax and quickly began to collect trousers. Tax urgent call: peddler, how dare you pretend to be cool when you see me!

My girlfriend called me: "Hello! Come on, there's no one at home. " I went there in high spirits, but there was no one at home.

Customer: "Why does this TV always shake after it is repaired?" Repairman: "Then you are an amateur. It was taken during the earthquake. "

We received a text message from your mobile phone. Maybe your mobile phone is aging. Suggest buying a new one.

Brother, I heard that the boss asked you to take charge of the work from top to bottom. What a surprise! Congratulations on your promotion! Very, very congratulations. I told you to watch the elevator!

An invigilator stared at a student who threw dice. Strangely, the student threw the same question several times and asked the student why. The student replied helplessly, "Is it too difficult to check?"

Wan Li glanced at the scenery of the examination room and looked inside and outside the classroom. The scenery is very good, whispering to each other and gesturing. If you want to compete with the examiner, you need to look at the paper tomorrow. You will be very happy and congratulate each other on your achievements.

After someone lost eight bicycles, the ninth one was locked for seven times and left a note: See how you steal! Later, he found that the car had an extra lock and a note: See how you ride it!

100 You have entered our monitoring range, don't move! Hands up. Throw away your cell phone and go ahead. Don't glance left and right, or you will be at your own risk!

I was at a loss when I met you. I can't avoid my affectionate eyes. I know your heart and run hard, but you follow me closely. I cried: whose dog is nobody's business? Humor and funny 5 send.

Who are you? I accidentally lost my phone records. I guess you are Sheng Jinbin or Ai Wu Bai? Otherwise, it's not Mei Renxing. If not, then I conclude that you are Bian Tai! Humor and funny 9 send

On the journey of our friendship, sometimes you can't see me by your side. It's not that I forgot you and let you go alone. But I choose to walk behind you. When you accidentally fell down, I ran up and stepped on my foot! Humor and funny 2 send

Thinking of you is a very happy thing, seeing you is a very happy thing, loving you is what I will always do, and keeping you in my heart is what I have always done! But ... I lied to you, and it happened to me:) Humorous and funny.

The clear river is full of feelings, and the flowers of friendship are accompanied by green branches. Who should I talk to about a bright future? I'll send the message to an idiot! It's not good to look at you fiercely. It's better to look at you carefully. Humor 0 send

I can cherish myself in the days without you! You can torture yourself slowly without me! Humor 0 send

If you turn around and frighten a cow to death, if you turn around and knock down a building, if you turn around three times, the boy in the street will jump off the building, if you turn around four times, the water will flow backwards. Humor and funny 2 send

Naked perspective: art in the studio, love in the bridal chamber, science on the operating table, love in the cradle, hooligans in Liuxiang, and atavism in nature. Humor and funny 3 send

A professor told his students: the ancient word Lu means kissing, which is very vivid. Then a student asked: What about this word? What are four people and a dog doing? Humorous.

I am determined to do three major things for the people of the whole country: first, build elevators for Mount Everest; Second, tile the Great Wall; Third, reverse the plane. Do three little things well: first, put gloves on flies; Second, put a mask on mosquitoes; Three, feed you some pig feed.