Funny language that can make people laugh to death

It is not difficult for a person to make mistakes. What is difficult is to make mistakes all your life and never correct them.

Life is nothing more than making others smile, and occasionally making others smile.

I love eating apples, and I like to eat them slowly, because I'm afraid of choking. Choking is fine, but if the prince doesn't come to save me, then the play won't be possible. So I have to turn a blind eye, what if I get kissed by a pig?

The true meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to eat in one place for a lifetime, but to have food wherever you go for a lifetime...

Are there any girls who didn’t cry after watching "King Kong"? I don’t think so~ But if it were a female King Kong and a handsome boy, I don’t think anyone would cry at all

" You are not allowed to wear underwear and slippers into the classroom!" To be honest, even after four years in college, I am not so shameless that I don't wear underwear into the classroom...

We are always accustomed to believe that the brain is the most important part of the human body. Important organs, but don’t forget who made this judgment.

We should remain silent when listening to sermons in church. It is rude to disturb others' sleep.

If a person is able to smile in the face of criticism, he has probably found a scapegoat.

Yesterday I signed up for a weight loss training class. They asked me to wear loose clothes during the training. How unreasonable? If there are loose clothes, then why should I sign up?

Yesterday, scientists conducted a new study. One hundred men participated in the experiment. After each person drank 20 bottles of beer, all of them became extremely talkative but illogical, prone to crying and irritable, behaved impulsively, their driving skills declined, and their weight averaged There has been an increase. So scientists concluded that beer contains trace amounts of estrogen!

Don't wash it, if it weren't for the mud, this old car would have fallen apart.

In the past, when the alarm clock went off, I often had the habit of slapping it and going back to sleep, but since I put three mouse traps next to the alarm clock, my problem has been eradicated.

I think I should lose weight. The last time I donated blood, a hundred milliliters of lard actually leaked out.

My wife and I haven’t spoken for 18 months, and I didn’t have a chance to interrupt her.

Two college students were chatting in a bar. A: What do you do for a living? B: Writing. "A: What to write? Where to vote? B: Write a letter - ask your family for money!

I never watch TV, I just always check whether the TV programs in the newspaper are misprinted .

College students always like new and exciting things. For example, the loser has to shout "I am a pig" or hug the telephone pole and shout "My disease is cured". You see, people in Shantou. Most of them are creative - playing cards in the dormitory, whoever loses has to go up the mountain alone at midnight to copy the inscriptions on ten tombstones! The most terrible thing is that everyone goes up the mountain together the next morning to find the tombstones for proofreading!!

In the Internet world, your girlfriend may be a man and your boyfriend may be a woman, which is painful, but you have to accept it.

Men seem to be happy in their lives. Two things that are actually very painful - getting a wife and having children; two things that seem very painful but are actually very happy in a man's life - making love and shitting!

I am not a casual person, but when I become casual They are not human beings.

Don’t be careless about an animal that bleeds for a week and still doesn’t die...

Usually a woman always remembers the man who made her laugh, and the man always remembers the man who made him cry. but the result is that the woman often stays with the man who makes her cry, while the man stays with the woman who makes him laugh...

A man never worries about his future until he finds a man Wife; a woman often worries about her future until she finds a husband. The secret of a man's longevity: Eat food that his stomach can digest and marry a woman who can support himself.

An advertisement for a flower shop: Today's store. Roses are the cheapest, and you can even buy a few to give to your wife.

The only difference between me and Superman is that I wear underwear inside!

I am an onion, standing tall. In the wind and rain, who dares to dip me in soybean paste, x his ancestors! I walked south... crossed north... drank water behind the toilet, ran over my legs on the train track, and kissed a fool.

I have gone up mountains and fought tigers... I have practiced martial arts in the Shaolin Temple, with a blue dragon on the left and a white tiger on the right. I often used Sarkozy as a two-hundred-and-five, and even fed Sakyamuni to the tiger! He danced on the pyramids and played drums on Jesus' head.

About thongs: In the past, you took off your underwear to look at your butt; now, you pull out your buttocks to look at your underwear...

A man is traveling in the rivers and lakes, and cannot tell the difference between east, west, north and south. He bumped into a corner without realizing it, and lay on the ground counting stars!

The brothers in the dormitory decided to impose the following punishment on the roommate: make him hold a telephone pole covered with advertisements for old Chinese medicine doctors, and shout loudly with tears and affection. Scream: My disease is finally cured!

Rats never waste time at night, but we humans waste one-third of every day

"What do you mean by optimists?" Man?" "This... is like a teapot, his butt is burning red, and he is still in the mood to whistle!"

I would rather believe that there are ghosts in the world than believe in the man's broken mouth!

The most "hurting" sentence nowadays is: "You are so fucking little Japan"

No one is worth your tears, and those who are worth your tears will not make you cry!

Someone challenged me and said: Come here. I didn't reply, just walked away quickly, and then shot him down in hindsight.

The so-called growing up means that you know what it is, and the so-called maturity means that you deliberately say you don’t know after you know it.