Looking for some classic online articles

1. I had a dream last night. I dreamed that Taibai Venus told me a lot of secrets! It turns out that we were both gods five hundred years ago. I cried, I remembered it all! Xiaotian, I am Erlang! Do you still remember me, Xiaotian! How have you been these past few hundred years?

2. Don’t be crazy with me, my eldest brother Qin Shihuang! Don't pretend to me, I'm behind the Party Central Committee. If you don't believe me, you won't admit defeat. Bin Laden is my uncle. He bombed first and then poisoned you. If you don't accept it again, the household registration policeman is my aunt and will change your household registration to a pig!

3. I fucking love you so much, but you fucking ignore me; I fucking discharge my electricity at you, and you fucking pretend not to see it; I’m fucking ready to jump off the building, and you You won’t be willing to turn back until you fucking change your mind; I’ll just fucking land when you change your mind!

4. When the shooting star falls in love with the earth, he does not hesitate to fall, just for that moment of closeness; when the cloud falls in love with the running water, he does not hesitate to fall, just to relieve his lovesickness; when I think of you, I do not hesitate to spend a dime, just to advance in advance. Let me tell you: Happy Children’s Day, little p!

5. You are dragging a pig shopping, looking very happy. I passed by and said with sympathy: "The quality of a person depends on who he is with." Before I finished speaking, I saw the pig abandoning you with disdain.

6. In Japanese, are you a pig? If you answer no, you will be flattened - dishonest! The next day, I asked you if you were a pig. Your answer was yes, and you were beaten - not modest! On the third day, I asked you if you were a pig, but you didn’t say anything, and you were flattened - even if you were a pig, you were dragged like this! ! !

7. If you still have money left at the end of the month, please read this tongue twister after me: Level 1 Difficulty: Talk nonsense to use money. Level 2 difficulty: The phone bill will evaporate. Level 3 Difficulty: Play nonsense and use up your phone bills!

8. College students = eat, sleep, and fall in love. Pigs = eat, sleep, and fall in love. Therefore, college students = pigs and fall in love. From the above, college students - fall in love = pigs, that is, college students who do not fall in love are pigs.

9. The compassionate sky, the compassionate earth, the compassionate I am waiting for you. I can't sleep alone and miss you: I love you, I miss you, I hope for you, I miss you, I wait for you = I can't live without you, the one I love is you---Xizhilang cici jelly!

10. God, bless me, bless those who forget me, don’t contact me, don’t call me, don’t send me text messages, don’t miss me, don’t miss me. Drop your cell phone into the toilet. Amen! Just rinse it with water!

11. It rains in every city, just like I miss you wherever I go. Missing is a kind of fruit, sweet and sour, abundant in the night, full of memories and uncertainty. I miss you so much that I want to crush you to death~~~

12. What’s going on? I called your cell phone just now. After the ringtone rang, the prompt sounded: The user is eating grass, please do not disturb! I couldn’t believe it, so I called again and said: The user you called has been sent to the slaughterhouse, please share it later! Nothing happened to you? !

13. The sky without you / is not blue / the days without you / upset / life without you / is really difficult / when can I really have you / my dearest. . . . . . Stop being beautiful, it’s not you, it’s the money!

14. If your ears are itchy, it means that someone misses you; if your eyes are itchy, it means that someone wants to see you; if your lips are itchy, it means that someone wants to kiss you; if your body It's itchy. . . . Stop thinking nonsense, it’s time to take a shower! ! !

15. I saw you that day. You were sitting in the sun, feeling so uncomfortable. I asked you what you were doing, and you smiled mysteriously: "Keep your voice down, no one will call me an idiot when I get tanned!"

16. Cupid's legend: An arrow piercing the heart means love at first sight. Two arrows piercing the heart represent mutual consent, and three arrows represent three lifetimes of good fortune. . . I will fire thousands of arrows at you. . . Baby, just wait until you become a hedgehog!

17. The reverse side is like Sijie’s mulberry mouth, and the material is connected to the nest ground silver. The nest is like the silk sister’s mulberry mouth. The west is exchanged for the reverse ground silver. The oil is reversed, and the wine is everywhere. In Nanguo, there is a short mulberry tree in the Mengmeng Island on the left side of the nest. It’s so shameless! Nest method defeats Yin Le!

18. Do you know? I dreamed of you again last night. We were leaning against each other by the river. You looked at me and I looked at you.

Suddenly, you raised your head and said three words to me affectionately: "Woof, woof, woof!"

19. I dreamed of you yesterday. Really, the sky was so blue and the sea was so blue. of clarity. You are so cute, you are swimming in the sea, and I am poking your back with the small branch on the shore: Oh, this little bastard is quite hard!

20. I am an onion, standing in the wind and rain. Who dares to use me for dipping? K His ancestors overcame difficulties and crossed the North. I drank water behind the toilet, ran over my legs on the train track, and even kissed a piglet. You name it, I kissed you anyway!

21. One day you win a prize and fly for free. Sad: Plane crash. Hi: There is a parachute. Sad: Can't open. Hi: There are haystacks on the ground. Sad: There is an iron fork on it. Hi: Didn't fall on the fork. Sadness: It didn’t even fall on the haystack. . .

22. Hey! Last night I dreamed of you swimming in the water. When I saw that I was so anxious, I shouted to you to come up quickly. I didn't expect that you ignored me and actually raised your head and glared at me: "Why are you shouting? Have you never heard that dead pigs are not afraid of being scalded by boiling water?"

23. Could it be that you are the little novice adopted by the mentally retarded master of the Shaolin Temple who was unparalleled in swordsmanship and martial arts at Mount Huashan back then? The cockroach Xiaoqiang once rolled over was crushed by Wangcai, his imbecile pet dog. A turd ball?

24. Melatonin said that if you want to skip classes today, you can skip professional classes. Hui Renbao said that if he ran away, I would run away. Dabao said, did you escape today? Hao Di said that if everyone ran away, they would really run away. Colgate says our goal is that no one comes to class!

25. Tianjin version: "Ni Jie Si rushes to the machi?" "Sang Fa Yuan Da Guan Si Qi!" "Four yuan high is four preparations high?" "Yuan Gao!" "Yuan Gao , So awesome!” “It’s awesome! I’ve been blocked!”

26. The three most popular words during the Iraq War: peace, war, found. Read three words together and read them out loud three times, and you will solve a historical mystery.

27. If autumn is gone, I will wait for you on the snow. If the world is gone, I will love you in heaven. If you are gone, I will miss you in tears. . . If I leave. . . . . . The feed is in the trough, don’t starve yourself!

28. Not every flower can represent love, but roses can. Not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplars can. Not every pig can receive text messages. But you did it!

29. I 10 can't stand it anymore. I miss you so much. I want to see you every day. Leave it to me. I will never let you down and let you be by my side forever. 5 I love you to the point that I will never be half-hearted. I swear I will only raise one little piglet for you!

30. Being ignored? Being bullied? No one loves you? It doesn't matter! Even if no one in this world loves you, cares about you, or values ??you! My door is still open for you! Chengdu Mental Hospital gives you a five-star home!

31. When I miss you, I can’t sleep alone. When I love you, I have a lot of thoughts. I am lonely in the days without you. I would like to turn into a lovesick bird and fly through thousands of mountains and rivers. Shit a bunch of shit on your head, yeah!

32. Missing is like chocolate, bitter! Sweet! I dare not miss you! I’m afraid I’ll miss you! I dare not say that I miss you, for fear of missing you even more! Actually, I really, really miss you so much that I turned into a pig!

33. These may be the last few days I send you text messages. I am hesitating whether to tell you that I am going to Japan and the procedures have been completed. I won't forget you, really. I have bird flu, so I am being infected by the party. . .

34. When the devil is banging on the glass in front of your window, the toad is getting into your bed, the poisonous snake is swinging above your head, the earthworm is shuttled between your toes, and the centipede has crawled into your nostril, don't be afraid! I'm riding a snail to save you! drive! drive!

35. Tang Seng and his disciples met a beautiful woman on their way to seek scriptures. Bajie saw her and decided to marry her. Wukong suspected that she was a goblin. Tang Seng said it didn’t matter. He sent a text message to test it. If she didn’t reply, she was a goblin. , let her marry Bajie!

36. Our fate began thousands of years ago. In the autumn of that year, we were playing in the maple forest with fallen leaves like fire. You chased me. When you finally caught up with me, you bit me affectionately. At that time, my name was Lu Dongbin.

37. I have always been an unknown knight in the world, until one day I met you, the most mysterious person in the legend, and I actually called you by your name. From then on, I also became famous in the world. No.: Zhizhuman!

38. For arithmetic question, choose a number from 1 to 8 as A, add 3 and subtract 2 from A to get B, multiply B by 9 to get C; add the ones digit and tens digit of C to get D, multiply D 50 is E, and E minus 200 is F. F implies your life, which is very effective!

39. I dreamed that you were singing last night! Your singing voice was very sweet, and your sentimental expression moved me. I almost swore to love you for ten thousand years, but I didn't dare, because you were singing to a donkey: I will become you when I grow up!

40. It is said that wishing on a shooting star is very effective. I wait for it every day. That day I finally saw the shooting star. Before it fell, I closed my eyes and made a wish, hoping that you would become smarter from an idiot. I opened my eyes and was surprised. I found that the meteor flew back along the original path!

41. On a full-moon night, on the top of Mount Huashan, is an isolated person like a god? Her long hair is flowing, her eyes are far-reaching, and she is holding an object, pointing directly at the sky! Slowly retract and slowly stretch. After three rounds, raise your head and shout: "China Unicom, no signal!"

42. If I had a candy, I would give it to you because I miss you. Be happy; if I have two candies, we will each have one, and I want us to be happy together; if I have three candies, I will give you two, because I hope you have more cavities than me!

43. The intermittent rain arouses my endless thoughts~~ To put it bluntly, I just miss you! When the weather is nice and sunny, I will take you to the green grassland. But I made an agreement with you in advance: you are only allowed to eat grass and not dig the ground!

44. It’s New Year’s Day, and I don’t have anything to give you. I’ll give you all the change in my pocket in exchange for steel bangs. If someone bullies you, hit them with steel bangs to let them know that we have money. People are awesome, don’t forget to pick them up after smashing them, we still have to live!

Answer: wangqinglang - Level 2 2010-1-7 13:28

One of the classic online articles for reporting: Good N B Ants

Funny level: ★★★★★

Reason for selection: Unique idea, eye-catching, fantastic ideas, extraordinary. Thinking in an unreachable place, writing in an unspeakable place, and feeling like an ant, although absurd, are endlessly memorable.

Quotations:

An ant saw an elephant on the road. The ant burrowed into the soil and only one leg was exposed.

The little rabbit saw it and asked in confusion: "Why are your legs exposed?"

The ant said: "Shh! Don't make any noise, I will trip over him and my son will fall!" "

The next day, the rabbit saw the whole nest of ants lining up and hurried away, and asked why?

The ant replied: "Yesterday, an elephant was tripped by one of our brothers. He was seriously injured after falling, so we donated blood to that girl."

Not long after, the rabbit saw a large number of ants coming back, and asked what happened. One ant said: "Oh, there is only one with the elephant. The blood types are the same, leaving him alone to draw blood is enough."

Classic Internet Article 2: The mobile phone fell into the toilet

Funny level: ★★★★☆

Reason for selection: This article is a whim, closely related to reality, and draws a pure classic. Although it seems to be an imitation of Why Little Chicken Crossed the Road back in the day, it is still a high-quality article.

Quotes:

Bin Laden: I deny that I ever planned to use mobile phones to attack toilets.

Xuecun: Lao Zhang rushed to the toilet and squatted; he dropped his cell phone in the toilet and flushed it.

Stephen Chow: (with a serious look on his face, he slowly took out the cell phone that was already covered in shit from the toilet) The cell phone and the toilet really did work, wow, there is still a piece of shit in it.

China Telecom: In order to ensure the quality of mobile phone reception, we plan to build a signal tower in the toilet.

China Unicom: In order to publicly test the voice quality of CDMA, we decided to answer your call in the toilet!

Microsoft: The phone will fall into the toilet. This is a compatibility issue between the phone and the toilet. Please download the latest patch or upgrade your phone.

Ericsson: The reason why this mobile phone fell into the toilet was just because our technicians were testing it.

Nokia: It may be because these mobile phones do not have external antennas, which may cause the mobile phones to slip into the toilet.

Classic Internet Article No. 3: Ten Benefits of Marrying an Internet Talent

Funny Level: ★★★★

Reasons for Selection: No Deep Experience and How can keen observation be able to summarize it in such detail? The person who posted this post, even if he is not an internet expert, would be hard-pressed to see the truth in the subtleties. When Internet heroes emerged in large numbers, they were once envied by everyone. However, as the situation changes, talents are only used as fodder for others to talk and laugh.

The way to please him is very simple, just let him take a "bubble bath" and he will be fascinated, because he loves bubbles;

There is no need to go out of your way to buy gifts for him, because he rarely takes a bath Tie, spray perfume, just buy a computer screen protector, he will be grateful.

Classic Internet Article No. 4: The Divorce Agreement of Netizens

Funny Level: ★★★★

Reason for selection: Is the netizens’ sadness or helplessness? In reality, people with this kind of portrayal are all looming, and how many people are addicted to the Internet? The Internet is popular, games are prosperous, sex is constant, text messages are flowing, and chatting about each other are all reasons for people to linger. Not a poppy, but better than a poppy. Only those who can talk and laugh and navigate it are successful people.

Quick quotes:

All bank account numbers and passwords are given to you! I just want the Internet account and password;

I will give you a 38-inch color TV, I only want a 15-inch color display;

I will give you a piano, I only want that one A keyboard that makes a monotonous sound;

I’ll give you a lively and cute Pekingese dog, I just want the 56K cat;

I’ll give you a leather sofa, I just want I want the rickety computer chair;

All the desks and chairs are for you, I just want my computer desk that is never cleaned;

Classic Internet Article Five: Baozi and Steamed Buns

Funny level: ★★★☆

Reason for selection: What comes after the laughter? In the whole world, this is not the only one who brings harm to innocent people, right? To make fun of things, it's not like swords, guns and daggers, but it's no less than that.

Quotes:

One day, the steamed buns and the noodles had a fight, and the steamed buns were beaten by the noodles. The next day, Mantou was not disappointed and brought many of his brothers to take revenge. When they encountered instant noodles, Mantou came to the instant noodles angrily and said: Don't think that you can't recognize you because you permed your hair, and then beat him.

Then, Jin Zhengu also wanted to take revenge. She found mushrooms, shiitake mushrooms and kohlrabi! I met Meatball on the road and beat that guy up without saying a word.

Rouwanzi was dissatisfied and asked why he was beating the person. He only heard Jin Zhengu say: "Young man, don't think that I won't recognize you because you are running naked!"

Classic Internet Article 6: Farmers and Rich Men The gap

Funny level: ★★★☆

Reason for selection: What is just a point of criticism, behind the knowing smile, there is a little bit of thinking, mixed with a hint of coolness. It is not a satire on farmers, but it has endless charm and endless thoughts.

Quick quotes:

We have just eaten meat and you are eating vegetables again;

I have just married a wife and you are single again;

We had just eaten sugar and you had diabetes again;

We had just wiped our butts with white paper and you used it to wipe your mouth again.

We wash our feet and go to bed, and you wash and relax;

We bathe and sleep, and you bathe and massage;

We massage and treat diseases, and you massage and massage. Picking up girls;

We are a monogamous couple and you are going to have a mistress.

Classic Internet Article No. 7: Sun Wukong’s Work Report

Funny Level: ★★★☆

Reason for selection: Using a pen as a gun, revealed in the joke Social thinking is not just funny, nor is it just a kind of catharsis. I believe readers will understand it at a glance.

Quick quotes:

After being recommended by Taibaijinxing, the organization appointed "Bima Wen" and "Director of Pantaoyuan" successively to be in charge of the horses in the upper realm and the work of Pantaoyuan. However, due to the serious personal heroism and blind self-worship at that time, he could never position himself correctly. He called himself the "Monkey King" and successively destroyed the Nantian Gate, disrupted the Peach Blossom Society, turned over the alchemy furnace, and made rude remarks that insulted the personal authority of the leader. It poses a threat to the property of the Heavenly Officials and the lives of the people. When the soldiers and generals were ordered to conquer me, they helped and educated me, but they did not want to repent. They actually raised their troops to fight against me. I went further and further down the wrong path and failed to live up to the concern and love of the organization for me.

Classic Internet Article No. 8: How to Distinguish the Hands and Feet of an Octopus

Funny Level: ★★★

Reason for Selection: Worth a look.

Quotes:

Method 3: Let it smell a fart. The ones that will cover the nose are the hands, and the others are the feet.

Method 4: Give it a computer. The hands placed on the keyboard are the hands, and the feet are curled up on the chair.

Method 5: Summer is here, the hands are the ones that can catch athlete’s foot, and of course the feet are the ones that are caught.

Method 6: Sprinkle a handful of soil on it. The hands that grab the towel are the hands, and the others are the feet.

Method 7: Throw 100 yuan on the ground. The teacher will step on it first, and then pick it up with your hand.

Method 8: Winter is here, it’s your hands that cover your head.

Classic Internet Article No. 9: Jin Yong’s Men’s and Women’s Football Team

Funny Level: ★★☆

Reason for selection: Laugh it off. Funny posts about the characters in Jin Daxia's books have always been popular. The flying snow shoots the white deer, and the laughing book hero leans on the Biyuan. All of them have become tools in the hands of the master of comedy. Take a look, you feel refreshed, take a look, why are you just laughing?

Quick quotes:

Wei Xiaobao serves as a midfield organizer - an offensive midfielder. You may have opinions, but that is not the case.

Wei Xiaobao has also practiced magic. He is versatile and has no problem getting ahead of others. Although his martial arts skills are a little low, he is flexible in mind, reacts extremely quickly, and is creative. This is the necessary condition for an excellent midfield organizer. .

There must be no objection to Huang Rong taking up the role of attacking midfielder. With Gang Leader Huang's mind, there should be no problem in planning an attack. Once the ball is lost, they will start to defend on the spot. Once the dog-beating stick method is used, it will not be easy to escape and delay time for the team.

Ten Classic Internet Articles: Rejection Letter to Mr. Bai Juyi

Funny Level: ★★☆

Reason for selection: Haha, I believe those with experience in submission Friends, can you see some bitterness?

Quick quotes:

I received the masterpiece "Song of Everlasting Sorrow". After reading it, I was amazed. You are really a super star in the literary world. However, the beauty of your writing is very beautiful. If you don’t do the necessary technical processing, it may be difficult to publish it in this publication. I am now returning this masterpiece. Please revise it before sending it back. Reasons for rejection:

The title is not eye-catching and unattractive. When reading a book, look at the title, and when reading the article, look at the title. At first glance, the title of Mr. Song of Everlasting Sorrow is confusing and does not arouse the reader's interest in reading. Instead of going straight to the topic and highlighting the key points, we might as well change it to "Incest between Father-in-law and Daughter-in-law" or "The Blood of a Beautiful Concubine on Maweipo" or "The Story of a Woman and Two Men"

Please indicate the source of the reprint. Group Information Security Forum/bbs/, this post address:/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=4745

Answer: 727334680 - Level 1 2010-1-7 17:59

Report [Share] Economic Analysis of Not Marrying Beautiful Girls

Beautiful girls are a piece of scenery, so the scenery can only be displayed outside for everyone to watch, and you cannot marry them home. Why? The reasons are as follows:

Reason 1: The management fee is too high

Beautiful girls are the objects of pursuit by everyone. Even if you strike first, you guarantee that others will not be able to pursue them again. ? Isn't the most popular saying nowadays: "So what if you have a boyfriend? You're not married yet; so what if you have a husband? You can still get divorced!" Can you tolerate your wife having green-headed flies circling around her all day long? Maybe one day I will wear a cuckold on you without even knowing it. After all, there are many men stronger than you.

Reason 2: Maintenance is expensive

As the saying goes: "Ten points of looks and seven points of grooming", that is to say, beautiful girls may not necessarily be as beautiful as they are beautiful. It's dressed up. Girls who love to dress up have two characteristics: first, they like to go shopping, and second, they like to shop. When it comes to shopping, I think many men will be scared after hearing this. It's obvious that girls don't eat much, but when they go shopping, their physical strength is nowhere near as strong as that of boys. A boy's feet won't hurt even after a day of hiking, but after a day of walking around, he may cry for his father and mother. As for shopping, boys will never understand how a girl's wardrobe can always be missing one piece of clothing. There are also bottles and jars of cosmetics and skin care products, and you can never figure out what they are for. Just washing your face can be divided into five or six steps for girls to complete.

Reason 3: The use value is not high

Beautiful girls can go to the hall but not the kitchen. You must know that oil smoke is the natural enemy of the skin, so pretty girls will not easily enter the kitchen. If you want something to eat, either go out or make your own. By analogy, since you don't have to go to the kitchen, you may have to do the cleaning at home, such as washing the toilet and the like.

Reason 4. Not durable.

Every beautiful girl will have many fans around her. When there are too many people around you, it is inevitable that you will develop bad habits and a bad temper like a young lady. I don’t know if you can tolerate these habits and temper. Maybe one or two days can be tolerated, but what about ten years, eight years, or a lifetime? Would you like to be a loser for the rest of your life?

Reason 5: Economic cost issue

Love to compare. Generally speaking, a pretty girl is surrounded by many people chasing her. No matter you are the first person to chase her or the tenth person to chase her, she will always have someone to compare with.

Compare whether you are more capable than so-and-so, whether you are more capable than so-and-so, whether you are richer than so-and-so... Don't plug your ears, the comparison is not over yet... - Haha , you analyze the economic costs!

More related articles on "Economic Analysis of Beauty": /relevant/09/0911/10/196377_5827334.shtml

Answer: lyd051613 - Level 7 2010-1- 7 22:12

I am a freshman this year. The following are popular words among our students, but I don’t know if you are interested.

Topic: The motherland has not yet been unified. Not in the mood to review

1. Life is like a super girl, and those who get to the end are pure men. ? 2. It’s almost the end of the semester. Let’s all sing with me: “My family lives on a high loess slope. The strong wind blows from the slope. Whether it’s Li Yuchun or Zeng Yike, they are both my brother Di and my brother Di... My family lives in high loess. Slope, the sun is walking across the slope, whether it’s Brother Chun or Brother Zeng, please bless me to pass the exam and not fail!” ?

3. Xiaoping and Chairman Mao were walking. Xiaoping: Renxi, the one with the best pants among the four is Sazi Siqin? Chairman: Sang Kuo. Xiaoping: Did Mo Youbi choose longer pants? The chairman took a deep breath of cigarette and stared into the distance: Tian Tian Sang Kuo is still Kuo Kuo...? 4. "So you are the legendary 290?!" "What is 290?" "290 is 250 38 2"?

5. We graduated from primary school with SARS, we graduated from junior high school with bird flu, we graduated from high school with influenza A, we graduated from college...2012? 6. Reprinted from the Education Bureau: In order to prepare for the 2010 college entrance examination, strengthen the The confidence of the senior high school students, specially invites you to return to your alma mater to take the mock test, and you will be the last of the senior high school students. Please inform each other. ? 7. Chapter 38, Section 5, Line 27 of Chairman Mao’s Quotations, any love that is not for the purpose of marriage is a hooligan? 8. When we first entered college, we watched "Struggle" with longing. When we hesitated, we After watching "Who's in Charge of My Youth", just when we were about to suddenly understand, "Dwelling in a Small House" took us all to death. In despair, we watched "2012" and immediately calmed down. What kind of house are you buying? Sooner or later it will collapse! ? 9.2012 If the ground hadn’t cracked, the building hadn’t collapsed, the toilet hadn’t exploded, and the passerby hadn’t run away, I would have been with the person I love on January 4, 2013 (I will love you forever), a day that is hard to find in the ages. Enter the palace of marriage! ? 10. It is said that Tang Zhongzong Li Xian was the most awesome emperor in history. Why is this? Because he himself is the emperor, his father is the emperor, his brother is the emperor, his son is the emperor, his nephew is the emperor, and what's more terrible is that his mother is also the emperor, so history gave him a very glorious name: Six Emperor Pills. ? 11. The motherland has not yet been reunified and I am not in the mood to review? 12. It is said that when a company recruits, they randomly throw away half of the pile of resumes they receive because their recruitment philosophy is "We don't want people with bad luck"? 13. I finally know why Socrates died because the Athenians, tired of his never-ending nagging of "whys", finally voted collectively to harmonize him. ? 14. Teacher from Tongji University: "Male students in grade 2008, don't worry, your future wives are still in middle school... Successful people are on average 12 years older than their spouses, so many of your future wives are still there." I was jumping around in the first grade of elementary school. So the wife I am raising now is someone else’s wife~~~”? 15. The lecturer at Zhejiang University who jumped off the building some time ago was the number one in the water conservancy class at Tsinghua University. Full scholarship from Northwestern University. Four years to graduate with a Ph.D. and two years to be a postdoc. Six articles included in Google Scholar and three SCI articles.

After arriving at Zhejiang University, 2,000 yuan a month...? 16. According to statistics, Nobita was beaten by Fat Tiger 173 times, scolded 60 times by the teacher, and 327 times by his mother in the complete set of "Doraemon" , was bitten by dogs 23 times and fell into ditches 14 times. It shows how optimistic our Nobita is in living. The difficulties ahead of me are nothing, I will persevere...? 17. Brushing teeth is a sad and happy thing. , because one hand holds the cup and the other hand holds the washing utensil. ? 18. You can never defeat a pure fool, because he will bring your IQ down to his level, and then defeat you with rich experience. This sentence explains a problem that has troubled me for a long time... ..=.=? 19. One morning in the morning, Wang Anshi came out and said: "I have a memorial, OOXX (10,000 words are omitted below)." Just after he finished speaking, he knelt down and shouted: "I am on the sofa," "I am on the bench," "I am on the bench." "Floor", "I am on top", "I am also on top"... The last few people were smiling and silent. Upon seeing this, Shenzong angrily hit the dragon chair: "No replies with pure expressions are allowed"?

20. There is a saying. The person who speaks a hundred sentences is a writer, which is called literary talent; the one who speaks ten sentences is a professor, which is called knowledge; the one who speaks one sentence is a lawyer, which is called prudence; the one who speaks one sentence and leaves one behind is a diplomat, which is called rigor; Those who say one sentence in ten sentences are politicians, which is called scheming; those who say one sentence in one hundred sentences are monks, which are called mysteries. ? 21. Review = do not fail the subject, do not review = fail the subject, therefore, review without review = do not fail the subject, fail the subject, mention the common factor, (1 not) review = (not 1) fail the subject, approximately divided, so, Reviewing = failing the class. Damn, the truth was born? 22. In 1911, only capitalism can save China; in 1949, only socialism can save China; in 1979, only capitalism can save China; in 1989, only China can save socialism; in 2009, only China can save capitalism ; In 2012, only China can save the world. ? 23. There is such a person, if you send him a text message, he will reply to you immediately. No matter day or night. There is such a person. If you ask him, he will listen to you. If you don't want to talk to him anymore, he will not bother you with text messages anymore. He is 10086. ? 24. The one who is handsome and has a car is chess; the one who has money and a house is a bank; the one who is responsible and has a sense of justice is Ultraman; the one who is handsome and has a car, is rich and has wealth Ultraman, who is responsible and has a sense of justice, plays chess in the bank. ?

25. Journey to the West tells us: All monsters with a backing were picked up, and all monsters without a backing were beaten to death with a stick?