Such a husband is the biggest culprit in the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

The elephant recently saw the marriage problems caused by the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and felt very angry. The biggest reason is that the husband did not mediate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but the "stirring stick" became more and more powerful.

The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always affected China's family and marriage. It seems that most people agree that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are natural enemies. If a family is not in harmony with its mother-in-law, not only will the family be unhappy, but the elderly will also be unhappy in their later years. Throughout Weibo, Zhihu, Tianya and other major forums, there is little difference in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law reflected by netizens.

Therefore, the elephant thinks that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good. In fact, the husband is the culprit. Now let's take stock of the bad husbands who affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law!

Tips: This article is about the elephant revealing her husband's problems for your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so she may be "excited". I hope your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law read it carefully and don't feel bad! Husbands, please look carefully!

Almost all men like to say "my mother is easy to get along with", but this sentence often becomes the fuse that causes the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

"My mother is easy to get along with. You don't have to buy her a gift. "

"My mother is easy to get along with. You will get along well if you live together. "

"My mother is easy to get along with. You can talk to her if you have any questions. "

And the result? When countless mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have conflicts in their lives, their husbands will say to their daughters-in-law, "My mother is very easy to get along with. Why can't you get along with her? "

Elephants want to wake up such husbands. Your mother is easy to get along with, because you are her son and her favorite in the palm of her hand. Daughter-in-law is different. There is no blood relationship between them. If it weren't for you, there would be no intersection between them. Even if you lie around all day doing nothing, your mother will say a few words at most, and then you will still be her good son. But if you are a daughter-in-law, you will be rejected by your mother-in-law: "This girl is rude at all." "This girl is too lazy."

Therefore, it is not the mother-in-law who blames the daughter-in-law, but you as a son and husband.

Many husbands had quarreled with their mother-in-law, even knowing that it was their mother's fault, but only dared to say to their wives, "The world is all parents, and she is my mother. How can you bear it? " The wife who got this answer had nowhere to vent her grievances and grievances, and she could only secretly cry. Without her husband's protection for a long time, the wife's love for her husband will gradually fade away, and even she will be disappointed with her marriage. In fact, husbands with this idea often think that obedience is "filial piety" to their parents.

When the elephant woke up such a husband, Kong once said: This is a question of obedience, which leads to injustice. It means: blindly obeying, even if you know your parents' faults, will trap your parents in injustice. Therefore, "filial piety" is not foolish filial piety. Your foolish filial piety not only wronged your wife, but also trapped your parents in injustice. Are you wrong? Of course you are wrong.

Some husbands have such a bad habit: the wife complains a few words and tells her mother in detail. Mother said a few words about her daughter-in-law, and then turned to scold her: "How could you do this?" There is an old saying: you can hide on both sides, not on both sides. In the face of two people's complaints, of course, you can hide them, and hide them on both sides, so that the dissatisfaction can disappear quietly.

The elephant woke up her husband again: it is very stupid to be a man who talks at both ends. There is nothing wrong between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, just a little friction. You have to be a diligent megaphone to make the friction produce a big spark, which leads to the tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and it has become an issue over time. You said you were caught in the middle? Isn't that what you did? Be a wise man, and hold your breath at both ends. Even if you want to pass it on, you can only pass on good things. If not, you can make up good words for two women to please each other and promote the harmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Some couples can do housework at home and even happily bring their wives a glass of water. However, as long as their parents appear in front of them, they start to play down a peg or two. They not only don't touch any housework, but also bosse their wives around, showing their mothers that they can "hold her down" and satisfy her vanity that "my son is very capable"! It seems that if you don't do this, you can't highlight his "big man" family status.

A husband like vigorously waking up. You not only make your wife feel tired and sad, but also imply to your parents that your wife has a low weight in your heart and you don't need to respect her. You act like you don't care, and expect your parents to respect your wife? Can you still expect your mother to go easy on your wife in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law You said you were wrong, right? Of course it's wrong!

There are two key points in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: one is the power struggle, and the mother-in-law wants to be the master in her son's house; Second, the most important and unwilling point is that the mother treats her son as a lover and rejects her daughter-in-law. In fact, this is a love triangle. As can be seen from the triangular relationship, the core of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lies in the man in the family, the son of mother-in-law and the husband of daughter-in-law. Therefore, the key to solving the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lies in her husband's handling.

Speaking of this, many husbands will cry: I married her home, how can I treat her as an outsider?

But the fact is that most husbands are just trying to treat their wives as their own, but in fact they treat their wives as outsiders.

A woman's decision to marry you is a brave decision. What she wants to do is not only love you, but also integrate into a completely strange family. When she enters a strange environment, she will open the defense mechanism. Maybe some behaviors of relatives and friends are really unintentional and joking, so what the husband should do is to appease her, instead of blindly accusing his wife of being "sensitive and oversensitive ..." This will not do any good except to further the relationship between his wife and his family.

There is also a kind of husband who, in order to calm his parents' dissatisfaction, blames his wife together and criticizes her faults when her parents find fault with her daughter-in-law. But this will only make parents feel that their sons are dissatisfied with their wives, make their daughters-in-law more and more unhappy, and make parents more exclusive to their wives and treat them as outsiders.

There is even a husband who is even worse. Even if the wife's starting point is to give advice, they foolishly put on colored glasses and think that her wife is uneasy and kind. And say, "you don't have to worry about our family."

Elephants will beat up such husbands. Didn't you marry her because you love her and live with her? Don't you just divide your wife into outsiders? You said you were wrong, right? Of course it's wrong!

Principle 1: don't be a bad speaker, just a good speaker; If not, make some.

Principle 2: Be careful. When there are signs of contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you should buy some gifts from your own pocket to please two women, but tell them that the other party has paid for each other.

Rule 3: Don't praise each other in front of mom or wife, which will make them jealous. We can talk about minor faults that are not noticeable, but we can't talk about major fatal faults. Be sure to praise the good of the woman in front of you and criticize the bad of another woman.

Principle 4: Go home often, make a phone call or send a text message to express your concern for two women, and attach a sentence to say hello to this woman on behalf of another woman.

Principle 5: Don't miss some special days, such as birthdays, festivals and anniversaries. Give them a small gift or congratulate them in person. ...

Only by doing the above five basic principles can men handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the old people will be happy in their later years.