A selection of humorous jokes that have to be laughed at

It's hard to watch jokes without laughing. Here I bring you a selection of humorous jokes that you have to laugh. I hope you will like them.

a selection of humorous jokes, you can't help laughing

1

My son was reported by his classmates for cheating in the exam, and the teacher called his parents.

when dad got to school, he slapped his son twice.

teacher: "I understand your feelings, but hitting can't solve the problem."

dad: "can I take my time? I didn't expect this kid to be so unpopular at school! "

Teacher: "What's the relationship between cheating and popularity?"

Dad: "He is very popular, so the classmates will report him?"

2

One day, there were too many people on the bus, which was extremely hot and boring. I don't know who farted, which made the environment worse. My friend can't stand it, and I don't know who it is. I can't help it. As it happens, the conductor is asking, "Who didn't buy the ticket? "My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly," The fart didn't buy a ticket! "Suddenly, a particularly fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly," I have already bought the ticket! "

3

The loss of bicycles in school is very serious, and the new ones disappear in the blink of an eye, but sometimes with luck, the lost bicycles will reappear every few days. One day, Xiao Jing, a roommate, bought a new transmission car. She showed off to everyone and said, "I locked this car with the latest lock! "The next day, Xiao Jing came back from his evening self-study and looked depressed. He also pinched a note in his hand, which read: Don't be a master here, I borrowed the car, and I will pay you back in a few days!

a few days later, the thief really returned the car. Xiao Jing was very happy, but she was worried that the car would be "borrowed" again. I bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and put a note on the thief: See how you can "borrow"! When Xiaojing went downstairs the next morning, he found five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the locks: See how you can ride!

4

It's very crowded to go to work by subway in the morning! There was a girl next to her who was very cute. Kawaii was texting. I accidentally took a look and found that she wrote, "There are many people in the car today, which is very crowded." After a while, I remembered something and laughed to myself. I didn't mean to look back for a while, but I saw the girl continue to write "There is still an SB standing next to me"

5

Once in class, a classmate was very hungry, so she soaked instant noodles. In order not to let the teacher find out, he put the book up and buried his head, but the heat still came out. The teacher said calmly, "Who is this classmate? She is fascinated by reading.

6

One night, I was awakened by a knock at the door, and my sister sleeping next to me kicked me and said," Go and see who it is! "

I looked blank: "Why is there someone knocking at the door at this time? Is it a bad person?"

Sister quickly said, "Don't scare me! I am afraid! "

I looked at her and almost cried: "Don't scare me! I have been single for more than 2 years, where did you TM come from! "

7

Mother said to a shota, "Do you know why no girl likes you?"

zhengtai: "why?"

Mom: "Because girls like warm men now."

Zhengtai, "How can I become a warm man?"

Mom: "Come on, put on these long pants first."

8

Call your best friend: "I'm pregnant, can you lend me 1 yuan for emergency?"

my best friend replied, "I'm sorry, my husband is in charge, and I leave all my wages with him."

I hung up the phone, and when I returned my hand, I slapped the man beside the bed: "How dare you lie to me and say that you have no money! Your wife said that her salary is in your place! "

those things at home, see my mother's cold humor

1. After a day at home on weekends, my mother came back to see me lying head-on at the end of the bed before eating, so she made a bowl of noodles and brought them to me. Seeing that I didn't mean to pick up the phone, she squatted down and put it on the ground, then touched my head and said, "Come on, let's eat."

I laughed and said, "Mom, you are feeding the dog. I'm not a dog."

The mother who walked to the door turned around and smiled bitterly: "Who said you weren't? Single dog! "

2. My husband doesn't like to talk, and my brother-in-law talks a lot, so he should say whatever he should or shouldn't.

But they are both very nice. They are more attentive to my parents than my sister and me. My mother said that they are both very nice, that is, one talks like constipation and the other talks like diarrhea. . . It's so vivid! ! !

3. After quarreling with my wife, she went back to her mother's house in a rage. I quickly went to my mother-in-law with a gift: "She seldom comes back, so you should keep her for a few more days!"

My mother-in-law gave me a white look: "If I can stand her, I can marry her to you! ?”

4. My mother always talks to me very grumpy. I said, Mom, can you be gentle? If I study like you in the future, can I still get married?

my mother said: whether you can marry or not is your skill. I married anyway.

5. Mom called me: Bao Er, how much do you earn this year?

Me: Don't spend money in Qian Qian all day. You should care if I talk about my girlfriend!

mom: did you talk about your girlfriend?

me: no!

mom: I didn't talk about my girlfriend. I didn't ask you how much you earn!

I can't refute it. . .

6. The martial arts in the world are fast and unbreakable. The real master is to judge the opponent's intention at the moment when he is about to make a move, and then kill him invisibly.

I'll give you the simplest example, such as: Mom, I think. . .

mom: no money. . .

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