Collection of classic jokes and long paragraphs

There are funny and meaningful jokes every day. Are you looking forward to it? In fact, in our daily conversation, we can often use these funny jokes to ease the atmosphere. Next, I have carefully prepared Classic Jokes for you. Welcome to watch!

Collection of classic paragraphs and large paragraphs (hot articles)

1. Dad changed the PHS to a mobile phone, and I didn't know what mass messaging was, so I called my friends one by one. I just got home from work, and my mother said that your father had been calling all afternoon &; During the Spring Festival of hellip& amphellip, messages were flying all over the sky. My mother's mobile phone received many messages, but she couldn't send them, so she couldn't help calling back one by one. That day, a friend asked me: Is it better for ldquo to use a mobile phone or Unicom's mobile phone? & amprdquo boss gave me his mobile phone:&; Ldquo, look at my cell phone, but I can't make a call. & amprdquo I looked and found that the keyboard lock was not opened. After chatting with him for a long time, the boss got impatient:&; Ldquo was so troublesome that you took off the lock. & amprdquo vertigo and hellip& amphellip

2. "One day, mosquitoes and mantis went to peek at a woman taking a bath. Mosquito proudly said: you see, I stabbed her chest twice ten years ago, and now it is so swollen; Mantis said unconvinced, what's the matter? I cut a knife between her legs ten years ago, and now it's still bleeding every month. Hellip& amphellip Kangaroos and Frogs go whoring chickens. Kangaroo thrice and thrice, only listening to the frogs next door all night. One, two, three. Hey! I envy the package sd mouse. The next day, the kangaroo said:&; Ldquo wow! ~ ~ Brother Frog, you are great #&; The rdquo frog said:&; Ldquo, damn it, I didn't go to bed all night ~ ~ & amprdquo An elephant asked the camel:&; Ldquo, why do your breasts grow on your back? & amprdquo Camel said:&; Ldquo, get away from me! I don't talk to things with dicks on their faces! & amprdquo The snake laughed hysterically after listening to the conversation between the elephant and the camel. The elephant turned to the snake and said:&; Ldquo laughs! You have a face on your penis, you are not qualified! & amprdquo A poor scholar studied hard and wrote couplets in front of the door to encourage himself. The first link is:&; Lsquo sleeps in a thatched cottage with the door closed &; Rsquo, the bottom line is:&; Lsquo plays the flute on his stomach &; Rsquo, horizontal batch:&; Lsquo is willing to follow his own destiny. . One day, a Henan man passed by and saw this couplet, which made him curious and read it aloud in his hometown dialect:&; Lsquo Who did my ass&; Rsquo, & amplsquo I hurt him. Rsquo& amphellip& amphellip & hellip Yo, and horizontal batch! But this time he read backwards:&; Lsquo will do it tomorrow/&; A female teacher in rdquo kindergarten led the students to swim and accidentally exposed a hair. A student asked the teacher, what is that? The female teacher pulled it out and said it was a thread! The little girl always shows off her new toys to the little boy. The little boy had no choice but to take off his pants and say, you will never have this! The girl also took off her pants and said, my mother said that as long as you have this, you can have as many things as you want! A row of women are waiting for guests in the street. An old lady in her 80s saw them and asked curiously, What are you waiting for? _ The woman said angrily: Wait for the lollipop! The old woman lined up to join the team, waiting for sugar. As a result, mop.com caught her. Mop.com asked the old woman, Can you do without teeth? The old woman smiled and said, I can lick it! ! ! The driver sent the leader to a literary evening, and the leader entered the venue. The driver was stopped by the security guard. The driver said that the leader and I are a system, and the security guard said, "Chicken and eggs are also a system. The chicken has entered, can the eggs enter? "

3. One day they met God when they were shopping! They told God that they all died miserably and hoped to send them to heaven! God said helplessly, there are too many residents in the sky now, and they are all full. But there's another place! You said, whoever dies the worst will go to heaven! So, the first ghost began to say&; Hellip& amphellip I was a cleaner before I died. Work is very hard! Busy from morning till night! One day, I was cleaning windows outside a building! It's the kind of dangerous work hanging outside at high altitude! On the first floor! Suddenly, my foot slipped and fell! I think it's over! I'm dying! But the survival instinct makes me scratch unconsciously! Luckily, I grabbed the railing of the balcony. I feel saved! So I want to climb up after I recover! Who knows, suddenly someone patted my hand and I fell down again! I think I'm really finished now! However, my life should not be decided, and a tent caught me below. I am glad that I must have accumulated virtue in my last life! I want to wait for my physical strength to recover before I go down. Who knows, a refrigerator fell from it and killed me! The second ghost said &; Hellip& amphellip I was a clerk before I died. Everything is fine. I have a beautiful wife. Great figure! But it's just a little water. I have a slight heart attack. One day I forgot to bring my medicine to work, so I went home to get it. As soon as I entered the door, I saw my wife's hair disheveled and disheveled. There must be an adulterer. So I looked everywhere in the house, kitchen and toilet, but I couldn't find it. When I got to the balcony, I found two hands on the railing and thought: adulterer! So he patted his hand. Thought,! See if I can fall to my death! As a result, I didn't die when I looked at it! Caught by the tent! I was in a hurry, so I searched all over the house and went into the kitchen. I found that the refrigerator was big enough and threw it away. Finally smashed him to death! I'm so happy! Laughing a lot. Who knows, laughing so hard, laughing so hard! The third ghost said &; Hellip& amphellip I was a punk, but I didn't do anything wrong! One day I went to a female friend's house to hang out! Just finished, her husband suddenly came back! I have to find a place to hide. So I searched the kitchen and toilet, and finally found that their refrigerator was quite big, so I hid in it! I don't understand how her husband knew I was in the refrigerator and threw it away! I just fell to my death in my refrigerator!

4. Five yuan is kidnapped by a criminal gang, so call the hundred-dollar bill:&; Ldquo hey! Your son is here, so if you don't want us to kill him, trade yourself for him! & amprdquo hundred-dollar bills thought for a moment and said:&; Ldquo, tear it up! Tear it up! You have no money! & amprdquo

5. There was an old man who was looking for something in the cinema and groping around. A man asked: why, I&an old man: no&ah; Hellip& amphellip No, I dropped something. Man: What? Old man: sugar! Man: A piece of candy? You old man te&; Old man hellip& amphellip: No&; Hellip& amphellip No, my false teeth are still stuck to it. (Khan)

6. There is a credit card reader on a bus somewhere. When it first appeared, people were very interested in this machine. A lady saw many people holding handbags, some pursed their asses, and then the driver let them pass. At this time, the lady saw a young woman pouting in front, and then found a place to sit down. The young lady followed the example of the young woman in front and left with her ass pursed. Then the driver stopped the young lady. & ampldquo Hey, are you still paying? & amprdquo The driver shouted to the young lady. Ldquo, how come? What do you mean? Don't they all pout in the past? I am younger than the young woman in front. She can pout, but I can't! I'm younger than her! & amprdquo Say that finish, I shook my head. As soon as I finished, everyone in the car was a little dizzy &; Ldquo, I feel dizzy Give me the money! & amprdquo The driver yelled at the young lady again &; Ldquo, that's right The young woman in front hasn't knocked you out yet. I can stun you. Do I have to pay? & amprdquo said these words, the people in the car suddenly fainted a lot&; Ldquo, give me the money quickly. The young woman swiped her card. You can swipe it if you have a card! & amprdquo& ampldquo Brush it. & amprdquo Then the young lady went to the front door of the bus and pursed her ass again, while the driver looked at her&; Ldquo take out the card if you have it, and give it in cash if you don't! & amprdquo The driver looked at the young lady and shouted &; I'll give ldquo, but I'll dress better next time. & amprdquo put the money into the machine, and everyone in the car fainted. This woman is so funny, haha.

7.& ampldquo I think I'm drunk,&; Rdquo said to the waiter. & ampldquo, bring me something to sober up! & amprdquo& ampldquo OK,&; Rdquo waiter said,&; Ldquo, I'll pay the bill! & amprdquo

8. In the restaurant. & ampldquo Waiter, what's your specialty? & amprdquo& ampldquo, the most famous bird's nest here. & amprdquo& ampldquo No, I don't eat what animals spit out. It's too unsanitary. & amprdquo& ampldquo What would you like to eat? & amprdquo& ampldquo Let's have an egg first. rdquo

9. Diners laughed: ldquo I didn't seem to order a fly when I ordered it! & amprdquo The waiter is very enthusiastic. Yes, although it has become a meat dish, there is no extra charge. & amprdquo

10. A hunter with nothing:&; Ldquo, do you have pheasants? I want to buy one. & amprdquo Slaughterer:&; There are no pheasants in ldquo today. Sir, buy a leg of lamb. & amprdquo The hunter said:&; Ldquo can't. I can go home and say to my wife: lsquo, did you shoot a leg today? rsquo？ & amprdquo

A collection of classic paragraphs and large paragraphs (classic)

1. Two foreigners go shopping in Carrefour. When checking out, the clerk asked:&; Ldquo, can you speak Chinese? & amprdquo Two foreigners answered in Mandarin: ldquo If you speak slowly, we can understand! & amprdquo clerk said:&; Ldquo can ... you ... talk ... China people? & amprdquo

2. A farmer went on a trip and came to a nightclub. This nightclub is very big, and there is a swimming pool in it. The farmer walked into the restaurant of the nightclub and said to the waiter:&; Miss ldquo, give me a steak and a coke. & amprdquo waiter brought him a big, thick cup and explained:&; Mr. ldquo, everything here is very big. & amprdquo After a while, the waiter brought the farmer a huge plate and explained:&; Mr. ldquo, everything here is very big. & amprdquo After drinking coke and eating steak, the farmer asked the waiter, ldquo, where is the toilet? Rdquo& ampldquo is in the lobby, and turn right in the third room. & amprdquo The farmer walked into the hall blankly, turned right and accidentally fell into the swimming pool of the nightclub. He shouted in despair:&; Ldquo, help! Help! & amprdquo Then, remembering something, he immediately shouted:&; Ldquo can flush the toilet in the future! & amprdquo

3. Old Dong, a native of Henan, said to the waiter as soon as he entered the door after having breakfast in the south. How much is a bowl (night) of jiaozi (sleep) at ldquo? & amprdquo waiter was very unhappy and said,&; Ldquo didn't. Only steamed bread. & amprdquo Old Dong said:&; Ldquo Oh, steamed bread will do. & amprdquo waiter was so angry that he scolded 1:&; Ldquo rogue! & amprdquo Old Dong was surprised and said:&; Ldquo 60 cents? It's too cheap! & amprdquo

I went to eat Chinese food with a group of Koreans. The president who just learned Chinese said that he would practice ordering food. After ordering, he proudly said that all the dishes don't need coriander. I waited for an hour and didn't get a dish. Complain to the manager, but the manager said, didn't you say&; Ldquo refuses to accept &; Rdquo what?

5. I wanted to say&; Ldquo Two pear pies and an egg tart &; Rdquo, the result is&; Ldquo Two orioles sing egg towers &; What makes rdquo even more depressed is that the owner actually understands & hellip & hellip.

6. The fish said:&; Ldquo, in order to leave your side, I kept my eyes open. & amprdquo Water said:&; Ldquo, I tirelessly surround you all day and hold you tightly. & amprdquo pot said:&; Ldquo is almost fucking ripe, and you still talk so much nonsense & amprdquo.

7. After work, several male and female colleagues get together in the hotel. Male colleagues want white wine and female colleagues want yogurt. After a while, the young lady brought food and white wine, and the male colleagues began to eat and drink. A male colleague suddenly found that he didn't give the lesbian yogurt, so he asked the lady:&; Ldquo, do you have any milk? & Miss Amprdquo blushed and mumbled back:&; Ldquo Yes, not much. & amprdquo

8. Great grandpa:&; My wife and I are married, and we always ldquo shopping arm in arm. & amprdquo Xiao Li:&; Ldquo, you are so close! & amprdquo's great grandfather:&; Ldquo No, as soon as I let go, she will go shopping. & amprdquo

9. A graduate went to a company in Shanghai for an interview. Sit down and the interviewer asks the students questions in English. The student paused and said:&; Ldquo, please don't talk to me in Shanghai dialect. I'm not from Shanghai. & rdquo; thud when the hellip& amphellip interviewer is lying under the table.

10. I often go to a food store and buy old lady cakes there almost every time. As a result, I saw a slightly smaller cake that day, which basically looked like &, but I was not sure, so I asked the aunt of the clerk: ldquo, is this a little old lady's cake? & amprdquo As a result, everyone in the audience gave me a dirty look.

Collection of classic paragraphs and large paragraphs (selected articles)

1. A young lady came out of the bathtub and was about to get a towel. Suddenly, she found a window cleaner at work and saw her. She was stunned and looked at the man stupefied. & Mrs Ampldquo, what's the matter with you? & amprdquo The man asked: & ldquo Haven't you seen a window painter? & amprdquo

2. One day in a bowling alley: Air: Do you have a lighter? Ken: Shoot the turkey? Can't even play a _? What kind of turkeys do you have?

The beauty visited a colleague and his wife's house. After dinner, she helped clean up and accidentally broke a delicate plate. Seeing the beauty was a little embarrassed, the host was busy comforting her:&; Ldquo it doesn't matter, this dish is worthless. & amprdquo Who knows, the beauty is even more embarrassed when she hears this. The hostess took her husband and whispered:&; Ldquo This set of tableware was a beautiful gift for us when we got married! & amprdquo

4. Party A said to Party B: & ldquo I heard that the eggs laid by Lao Wang's chickens broke when they landed, and immediately became chickens. & rdquo b tells c:&; What is new in ldquo is that the eggs laid by Lao Wang's chickens have become chickens before they break their shells. & amprdquoc said to D:&; Ldquo is very strange, Lao Wang's chicken gave birth to a chick directly! & amplified said to E, E told F, F told G &；; Hellip& amphellipg happened to meet A and told A: Miracle, Lao Wang's chicken gave birth to a little turtle!

5.a star (confident): Do you believe that I only sleep for one hour every day? Reporter: What are you doing in the other 23 hours? Star (shy): doze off.

6. Two generations want to get married, but he doesn't know what the wedding is like or what to do. So he asked his father, who said. Ldquo, you go to the Imam and do as he says. & amprdquo Two generations found the Imam, and the Imam asked him:&; Brother ldquo, can I help you? & amprdquo& ampldquo, what can I do for you? & amprdquo Two generations learned to ask questions. & ampldquo Hey, how can you answer my question like this? & amprdquo According to Ma Yan. & ampldquo Hey, how can you answer my question like this? & amprdquo Two generations should learn from him. & ampldquo Are you crazy, two generations of love? & amprdquo thundered in accordance with hemp eyes. & ampldquo Are you crazy, Imam? & amprdquo; Two generations ask each other and learn from him. The imam thought that the two generations of love were fooling him, raised his hand angrily and slapped the two generations of love severely. Two generations of love also slapped Emma angrily. So, the two scuffled. When the two generations came home depressed, his father hurriedly asked: ldquo son, have you learned to get married? & amp & amprdquo& ampldquo You scold me, I scold you, you hit me, I hit you, I have learned, and I dare not get married. & amprdquo Two generations shook their heads and said.

7. On American buses &; Hellip& amphellip Two Americans are sitting and chatting, and a foreigner is standing in front of them, spitting everywhere. An American suddenly asked: What day is it today? The other replied, "Today is Saturday." . The foreigner turned pale with fear and left, thinking: one said:&; Ldquo what is tucao? & amprdquo A:&; Ldquo spitting will kill you! & amprdquo America is terrible!

8. A young man came to love for two generations and learned from him. Two generations of love asked. What do you want to learn from me? & amp & amprdquo& ampldquo For example, you are quick-witted, quick-witted and speak just right. & amprdquo The young man replied:&; Ldquo If someone suddenly says to me&; Lsquo Hey, goat, you might as well marry a wife earlier like this &; When and how should I answer rsquo? & amprdquo& ampldquo, do you have anything to say? He's right, so don't talk! & amprdquo two generations of love replied.

9. Imam wanted to make fun of the two generations of love, so he asked him: ldquo two generations of love, what was Satan's wife's name again? & amprdquo Afandi thought for a moment and replied:&; Ldquo, you personally officiated at their wedding. You should know her name! & amprdquo

10. One night, it was difficult for two generations to fall asleep for some reason. He got up quietly and went out for a walk, but when he came back, he alarmed his sleeping wife. The wife said strangely:&; Ldquo, you must be sleepwalking. What are you doing outside in the middle of the night? & amprdquo Two generations of love lay down and fell asleep without saying anything. The next night, he got up and went outside, trying to open his bedroom window from the outside. At this time, the caretaker came over and asked him, ldquo, are you locked out? & amprdquo& ampldquo Shh, my wife said I was sleepwalking. Let me see if it's true. I want to scare myself. & amprdquo two generations of love replied.