Humorous copy for friends

1. I came to the classroom when I was just in high school. That was the first time a freshman met me. I want to be friendly. I saw a girl with short hair, who was very handsome and a bit like a man. Xiao Wang went over and put his arm around her shoulder to say hello. I didn't expect her to slap me and say: I am a woman, I don't know if there is any difference between men and women! Xiao Wang retorted sharply: Lao Tzu is also a woman.

2. Friends bring their boyfriends home. Boyfriend said that she was nervous when she saw her father, and she didn't know how to put her hands. My friend said you were nervous, so I put it in my pocket. Later, his friend's father pulled her out alone and asked her, "Is your boyfriend sick?" The friend was curious and said no, so her father said, "Then why did he put one hand in his coat pocket and the other hand in his trousers pocket?"

A reporter interviewed 100 penguins and asked them what they do all day. The first one said: Eat and sleep to fight peas, and the second one said: Eat and sleep to fight peas. I have been asking 99 of them. When I asked100th, I said: Eat. Go to sleep. The reporter asked: Why not fight peas? The penguin cried and said, 555

5. I am Doudou.

4. My girlfriend's mother handed Xiaoming a check: "Here you are 1 10,000, keep my daughter." Xiaoming took the check and turned to his girlfriend: "Let's break up, I don't love you anymore." The girlfriend was shocked: "Don't you have hundreds of millions of assets? Why do you have to 1 10,000 break up with me? " Xiao Ming replied coldly, "How else do you think I made hundreds of millions?"

At the checkout counter in the supermarket, the cashier said, "Sorry, we have no change. Can we use lollipops? " "How?" "I should give you 9 small change, so I will give you 9 lollipops." "But I bought a lollipop!"

6. Tang Priest and his disciples learn Buddhist scriptures. When Liu Er's macaque made trouble, no one could tell the truth from the monkey king. I have to go to the Tang Priest for identification. The Tang Priest said, "Eat watermelon for the teacher." The two monkeys immediately turned into watermelons; The Tang Priest said, "Eat apples for the teacher." The two monkeys immediately turned into apples; The Tang Priest said, "Eat peaches for the teacher." The two monkeys immediately turned into peaches again. The Tang Priest said, "Bajie, give me that kiwi!"

7. I look up at you at a 45-degree angle, looking at your tall and straight figure, your majestic and motionless standing posture, and the way Mount Tai collapses in front of me without chaos. What I want to say is, how can you be so calm? Telephone poles!

8. On the birthday of a colleague in the company, we went out for dinner. A dozen people drank five bottles of 50-odd-degree white wine and more than N bottles of wine, and gave us an old master who vomited and went to barbecue at night. When we asked what was going on, the old master said weakly, "I vomited my false teeth."

9. Girls nowadays are really difficult to serve. When you are angry, you stand on the main road, and you can't coax it. I said to buy you a bunch of flowers and ignore me; I said take you to the movies and ignore me. I say we go to eat delicious food, so leave me alone. Later, his boyfriend came over and asked me, "Who are you?"

1 I miss you, but I can't tell you, just like a tree full of pears, it will never bear apples. I miss you, but I can't tell you, just like a rainbow hanging high in the sky, no one can ever touch it. I miss you, but I can't tell you, just like the track of a train, there will never be a boat passing by. I miss you, but I really can't tell you. I'm afraid that if I do this, you won't be able to have a happy summer, so I'll send you a message to tell you that I miss you!

1 1. Ghosts are most dangerous when they are most active. Disciple wondered, "Is this about Yin and Yang?" The old Taoist shook his head: "No, no, today is Monday, and I don't want to go to work." Haha, the joke is getting bigger. Monday is the beginning of a busy day. I wish you take time out of your busy schedule and be happy!

12. God is a thief and will steal for another year. At the end of the year, I was looking for it in a panic. Good thing you're here! I asked him: Why not steal with you? He shrugged and said, this friend is too heavy in your heart for me to move!

13. God said to me, if I don't bless you, the rooster will lay eggs, the sun will turn black and the earth will stop turning immediately. In order to prevent chaos in the world, I have to wish you happiness all the time, every day.

14. Don't stop: the dream keeps chasing; Don't give up: there is a sunrise after the night; The road is bitter: sweat is a beautiful blessing; Remember: success is the next step. Take a big step, yeah, fall into the pit!

15. First, persistence, second, sincerity, third, ignorance, fourth, pity, fifth, tears, sixth, tenderness, seven cups of romance, eight points of love for fire, and nine tests have achieved perfect results.

15. God will greatly bless you. You must first call its mobile phone, ring the bell, vibrate its action, light its screen, display its text and send a string of blessings before you can smile. Finally, I wish you smile every day!

17. I wish you a happy day. You are happy when you are holding your stomach, happy when you have a runny nose, happy when you drink water, happy when you think of me, happy when you are unhappy, healthy and happy!

18. Smile; Laugh when something happens. Laugh when nothing happens. Laugh happily. I laugh too, you laugh too, and wish me a message; May you be happy and laugh every day!

19. You are soy sauce and I am vinegar. Give you luck and give you happiness; You are sugar and I am salt. I send you a thousand blessings. You are red wine and I am ice. May you have a good mood every day! Because you are a knowledgeable mosquito, you are known as the most popular mosquito, but since you have rejected the "red envelope" many times, it is solemnly declared that you are doomed to be silent this summer! 2 1. Eat more apples. Pay attention to safety; Eat more bananas and have more luck; Eat more quinoa to keep troubles away; Eat more cherries, and you are unlucky to run away; Eat more dates and your dream will come true as soon as possible!

22. I wish: the leadership is biased towards you. The police let you, the court faces you, the official fortune follows you, the daughter-in-law lets you eat and drink, and the fortune covers you. Only you won the prize!

23. The mobile phone can sing. Three or two confidants, four or five short messages, six or seven blessings, eight or nine people. I wish you a perfect life, long life and happiness, and happiness forever!

24. It's too hot! I bought a cushion. I turned into an electric blanket when I slept! When you meet a stranger, smile at each other and you will be familiar! The table is too hot. Mahjong has just been coded. Hey, it's burnt!