Funny quotes to read when you are in a bad mood

Uncle, you look great, just like a mallet

When buying roasted sweet potatoes, please ask the boss loudly what kind of filling they are

What should I do? My first kiss was gone again

Why didn’t I get another bottle of the big bottle of drink

Who told me that being big means being powerful? Didn’t the dinosaurs become extinct in the same way?

p>

My sister is so low-key, but the robbers discovered the existence of my money

He knows that strong melons are not sweet, but he does not like to eat melons

There is one I care but I have the body of an older aunt. In fact, I should be handsome

I watched a very funny TV series today and let’s watch Thunderstorm together

Donor, put it down Butcher knife, decide to become a Buddha and shave your head

There are two poisonous drugs in the world, one is called Shakespeare and the other is Qiong Yao

My sister is not a dissolute woman, and she is not a dissolute woman. People

I want you to know that I am naturally beautiful and do not add any preservatives

Men who treat women badly will make sanitary napkins in their next life

< p> I can't think of my sister, I can't think of my wife, I can't tear my sister up

You don't miss me when you feel distressed, you only miss me when your balls hurt

Every one of you Behind the woman who yearns for her day and night, there is always a man who loves her so much that she feels like vomiting

It’s not just romance, there is adultery, and you can also look forward to pornography

You shameless person, you think everyone in the world is your mother, and everyone has to spoil you

The so-called vixen is a woman who makes men look like dogs

A powerful one Women are not necessarily charming, such as Master Miejie

Her appearance is not outstanding, her grades are not outstanding, herniated lumbar disc

If you pretend to be cute, you can instantly solve the problem of population expansion

Don’t believe in love at first sight, because you can’t tell at a glance how much money the other person earns

If I can hurt you in order to move you, then fuck you

It’s so pretentious and artificial, You can spend as much as you can, you can have sex while you're young

Just because you expose half of your butt doesn't mean you're sexy, it just means you bought too small your underwear

You said you treat women If you are a dog, can you use a dog as a woman?

In your next life, you must be a man. You will not bleed heavily, be fucked, or have children.

Do you know that women bleed too much? And the possibility of death is smaller than that of men

Why do I smell the smell of leucorrhea when you open your mouth

Don’t dislike my small breasts, you are not even 8cm

It turns out you like her because she has a big mouth, something you should read when you are in a bad mood

My relationship with the media is very unusual. Every food I have ever eaten has been on the news. There are reports.

"Doctor, what should I do if I have enlarged pores?" "Turn down the pixels."

I really want to eat a Wangqingshui Jueqingdan Mengpo Tang Wangyoucao set meal.

The phrase "one step at a time" is definitely the most vicious and vicious satire on fat people.

Since ancient times, there is no dead end in life. A big river is as wide as its waves.

The simplest emotion between people is to look down on each other.

The funniest thing is to step on the "safety in and out" carpet and fall down.

People are really stupid when they are full, but they are smart from the inside out when they are hungry.

Youth is like a dandelion. It seems to be at ease, but in fact it is beyond control.

Partial solar eclipse is actually caused by children who do not eat well every day.

Society is like a carriage. Those without seats encourage rebellion, while those with seats call for stability.

Beauty and ugliness are determined by destiny, and fatness and thinness are determined by heaven. I live by this sentence.

The main contradiction faced by contemporary young people is: food and weight loss.

If you can be meticulous with me, I will be meticulous with you!

It’s so damn sad to want to be a top student but unable to do so, to want to stop studying but can’t.

My love for you is as vigorous as a tractor climbing a hillside.

At best, you are arrogant; at worst, you are blind.

A flat chest will ruin three generations, and a thick waist will ruin a lifetime. Having a big face is not a disease, having thick legs can kill you

My clients have abused me thousands of times, but I treat them like my first love.

Can you stop being angry with me and give birth to my child?

Some people persist to the end, some persist to the bottom, and some persist to Detroit.

Although I don’t like seafood, the mermaid is acceptable.

It's mine, don't move. It's not mine, leave it there for me.

Facing the sea, spring flowers are blooming, I can only set it as my screensaver.

You must be suffering from serious procrastination. Otherwise, are you still alive?

What others live is called life, but what I live is called adventure.

Having a neck is something that the ever-changing plastic surgery industry cannot do anything about.

They are just each other's spare tire, they really treat each other as confidants.

If Tencent Weibo is Plants vs. Zombies, then Sina Weibo is Angry Birds.

Life lies in movement? How come turtles and turtles can live so long if they don’t move? !

The butt is the most easily dirty place on the body, because there is a word called dust falling on the butt.

The Fat Kid’s Song of Youth is really an adventure story of a meat bun.

Those who say I don’t need to lose weight are bad people.

Thanks to being fat, I can squeeze my belly when I’m sad.

There was no road on the road, but when there were more people walking, there was a toll station.

I like exams so much that I basically take the exam twice for each course.

Wishes are made, not fulfilled.

Secret Love is not as good as ordinary mail, and the mail loss rate is 100%.

The man shed tears without hesitation, but he didn’t cut the onions.

I will always have you in my heart, if you are not too crowded.

Writing poetry is actually very simple, all you need is the Enter key on your keyboard.

When I am with you, I must make myself smarter, lest others say: What a pair of fools.

Promises are like farts. They are earth-shattering at the time but disappear without a trace afterwards.

Just to rub salt into your wounds, it’s because I’m hungry.

I lie down on the book. It doesn’t matter whether I study or not. The key is to have an attitude.

Whether you sleep well or not, roommates are very important.

Before the exam: I’ll go! It’s exam time! After the exam: I’ll take the exam! It's over.

Prices have risen too fast, so I always pay first when I eat in restaurants.

Are people who are good at Tetris better at tidying up their rooms?

The rice is too hard, but fortunately there is a bowl of soup to serve.

I often walk by the river without getting my shoes wet. Since my shoes are wet, I might as well take a shower!

What do you think about most when you stand bungee jumping? Anyway, I want to pee!

Dare to change your brain capacity and stomach capacity!

Wukong said: Except for Douyun, everything else is just floating clouds. A healing talk suitable for when you are in a bad mood

1. There is always a song that can sing through the deepest defense in your heart

2. I am not a graveyard for your feelings. Accept so many people from your past.

3. As long as the road is right, don’t be afraid of the distance. As long as you are sure it is worth it, you don't care about the vicissitudes of life.

4. The clouds dispersed, the rain stopped, the wind calmed, the sky cleared, but my heart was empty.

5. What I can’t forget is still the time when you were kind to me.

6. Whether you like someone, whether they are suitable for you, and whether you can be together are three different things.

7. I usually laugh and make trouble with people like crazy, but I just don’t want to be alone.

8. I am not afraid of the end. . I'm afraid you won't be by my side when the end comes.

9. Many promises have already changed before they can be said. There were so many love words, but they were already gone before we even had time to say them.

10. Is love always like this after playing for a long time? When you get tired of it, you abandon it and then you can’t forget it and can’t escape.

11. I don’t lack love. Your leaving just makes me sad. I'm missing a habit. WeChat personalized signature

12. I used to always think that I was young and ignorant. But now I am still immature. WeChat personalized signature

13. Do you know why some people have bangs? Because when they are sad, they just need to lower their heads gently and no one will notice. Funny words to watch when you are in a bad mood: My moral integrity takes up too much weight on my body, so I threw it away

1. If teachers of Chinese, Mathematics, English, Physics, Thinking, History, Geography and Politics walked into the classroom at the same time, would you What comes to mind?" "The Eight-Power Allied Forces' war of aggression against China. ”

2. Things like moral integrity take up too much weight on my body, so I threw them away.

3. Withered vines and old trees, there are fish and shrimps for dinner, and air conditioning WiFi watermelon, the sun is setting, are you ugly? It’s okay! I’m blind!

4. Some people said that I was handsome. I stood on the balcony and thought about it all night, who leaked the news.

5. It would be foolish not to leave a name for good deeds, but Lei Feng knew how to write them in his diary.

6. When summer comes, I realize that "stay where it's cool" is really not true. A curse word is definitely the most sincere concern and the most hidden love.

7. You don’t listen when you say it, you don’t understand when you hear it, and you don’t do it when you understand it. You made a mistake and you didn’t admit it, you admitted it but you didn’t change it, you didn’t accept it but you didn’t accept it, and you didn’t say it if you didn’t accept it! What do you want me to say about you?

8. The world There was no way to get there, and there were so many people walking around that I didn’t know how to get around.

9. During the Chinese test, I always felt that I was British, and during the English test, I felt like I was British. I am Chinese. During the math test, I found out that I was an alien.

10. God opened a window and prepared to give me wisdom; but God did not want to give me a good face, so he wanted to close the window. , I ran over in a hurry, but it was too late, and my face hit the window, so I looked like this!

11. God has closed the door for you, but when he forgets to open the window for you, you can Lift up the ceiling myself.

12. I don’t like tidying up the room. They call me the room hero.

13. Why don’t I have a handsome deskmate? There are some at the same table.

14. I haven’t eaten for several days, and everyone looks like pancakes.