Can all the sorrys be exchanged for the words "it doesn't matter"?

Zhang Xiaoxian once said: Sometimes, when we are willing to forgive a person, it is not that we are really willing to forgive him, but that we do not want to lose him. I don't want to lose him, so I can only pretend to forgive him. ?

Some things, even if it has been a long time ago, the damage caused is still there. The pain can gradually disappear and the wound will grow back, but you know that the scar will always be there.

Not every injury deserves to be forgiven, and not every apology deserves to be said.

Not every sorry sentence can be exchanged for being okay

To some extent in our lives, we have all had the experience of being hurt by others, either by strangers or, most importantly, by others. People close to you.

Some people still look calm after hurting you, but when you are really angry, they feel: You can’t even make a joke, so why are you so serious?

They are not you, they cannot understand your pain, and they cannot know how it feels when your most vulnerable part is exposed in public and laughed at mercilessly.

They can't empathize with you, they just think you are pretentious.

I once read such a story. Two friends who had been friends for many years had a disagreement at work. After thinking about it, one of them chose his own interests and betrayed his friend. The friend was thus lost. This job, and for a long time, no company was willing to hire him.

It was not until many years later that this man finally plucked up the courage to visit his friend. He apologized to his friend, but the other party only said lightly: I know, but I will not forgive you.

Some people may accuse this friend of not being magnanimous enough.

But sometimes, not retaliating is the greatest generosity, and not forgetting is the greatest protection for yourself.

Not every injury is worthy of your tolerance, and not everyone is worthy of your forgiveness.

Apologizing is a duty, forgiveness is not an obligation

The same is true in life. Not every apology can be accompanied by a word of sorry. You did something wrong. Apologize to me. That is yours. It's my duty, and it's my right to forgive or not.

Those who have been hurt by what others said or did cannot be healed lightly by saying sorry.

You know, for some injuries, although the pain is no longer felt, the scars will always be there.

Some people apologize not because they know what they have done wrong, but because they want to gain peace of mind. How can he know what the wounds that were poked by his words have brought to you? of harm.

Just like the person mentioned above, his apology was not to gain relief from the other person, but to give himself a reason to be relieved.

My friend did not choose to forgive, because he was the only one who knew how the public opinion and glare he endured at that time pushed him to the bottom. During that most difficult time, the person involved did not stand up to defend him. , but after things finally calmed down, he chose to brush it off with an apology.

The damage is irreversible, and the past cannot be repeated. No one can understand how desperate they were back then.

Sorry, your apology is too cheap. You have the choice to apologize, and I also have the right not to forgive.

Kindness does not have a bottom line

We always say that good people can be bullied.

Some people choose to be weak and dare not say no or express their true feelings. They dare not speak out when someone hurts them. Even if the other party apologizes, they can only accept it and think, forget it. Bar.

But your kindness does not make anyone grateful. They will also take it as your weakness.

This is true whether it is life or feelings.

Conceding once will only make you more and more passive.

Those past bullying are insignificant to the bully, but sometimes, the shadow brought about in childhood will follow the bullied almost for a lifetime, causing irreversible damage.

How can these effects be overcome by a simple apology?

Silence is nothing but connivance and compromise, which only results in worsening of the situation.

Those who don’t love you will not appreciate your tolerance or repay your kindness. Your gentleness and generosity should be reserved for those who deserve it.

What really makes you better is not the pain caused by those people at all, but your strength and yourself who still move forward after being hurt.