Space funny message (funny talk about the recent space fire)

1. Now that students are full and have nothing to do, they want to find a boyfriend and girlfriend, and I am special. I can't eat enough!

Second, people used to say that I have small eyes, but I still don't believe it. Finally, one day, I was lying on the sofa watching TV, and suddenly my mother came back and turned off the TV, and then quietly covered me with a quilt.

Third, my dog must think that the takeaway brother who brings me fast food every noon is my master.

Fourth, "What pants do you look young in?" "I really can't think of anything younger than wearing diapers!"

A couple loves to eat durian, but they are afraid to smoke durian to their five-year-old son, so they hide in the kitchen to eat durian. At this time, the five-year-old son pushed open the door and shouted, "Well, you are eating shit behind my back."

6. I saw a dirty boy on the road, staring at a bag of milk in the hand of the little girl in front. After drinking, the little girl threw the bag on the ground. He quickly squatted down, picked up the milk bag on the ground and put it in his mouth. As soon as I tried to pull it up, tears ran down my nose. Just as I was about to pull it up, I saw him put the bag on the ground and put it down with a bang. "Bang", fucking scared me to death!

7. I went to eat noodles a few days ago and saw peppers under the front table. There happened to be a tin of iron next to it, and I didn't look at it, so I smashed it with a bang. As a result, I poured a bowl of toothpicks!

Eight, God lacked a mobile phone, and Jobs went; God lacked bodyguards, so Bruce Lee went; God lacked singers, so Leslie Cheung went; God, are you short of a class teacher?

I asked my girlfriend, "Of all the outstanding boys in the world, why did you choose me?" My girlfriend said, "Because excellent boys look down on me."

Last year, I tattooed a scorpion on my shoulder and gained 40 pounds a year. Now people see my tattoo and say, dude, you are a good lobster.

Xiaoming came home from school and said to his mother, "I am the strongest in our class!" " "Mother asked," how can you be so sure? "Xiao Ming said," Our head teacher said that I was holding the class back by myself! " "

12. I want to call you after I get drunk. I really like you and can't live without you. Unfortunately, I'm not drunk at all. Haha, full, full!

Thirteen, take my little nephew to the natural history museum. He was shocked when he first saw the huge dinosaur bones. He kept chasing the narrator and asked how many archaeologists he needed to eat so cleanly.

Fourteen, go out to travel with your girlfriends, and rest under the tree when you are tired. Suddenly a few drops of bird droppings fell on my face, and before I knew it, my best friend helped me wipe it evenly, saying, your foundation is not evenly applied!

Fifteen, recruits go out for training. A recruit was shocked when he saw six stars on a uniformed shoulder by the roadside: six stars! Salute at attention with a bang to show respect. The platoon leader ran over and slapped him: "a gift for your mother, that's property!" " "

16. I heard the conversation between mother and daughter in the street. Daughter: "Mom, I find that I am getting whiter and whiter!" " Mother: "You are as fat as a maggot for nothing!" " "Daughter? ...

17. I forgot to bring money for dinner just now. Tell my boss to come and get married together next time. The boss disagreed. In a rage, I called a dozen brothers over, took four cars, killed them and blocked the entrance of the hotel. Then everyone emptied their pockets and barely got enough for the meal. ...

Eighteen, parents have been married for so many years, and they are always black with each other. My mother said to my father that day, "Look at your son." The father was dissatisfied at that time and sneered: "Hehe, your son is not much better, just like a monkey."

Nineteen, the whole class did badly in the first exam. The teacher said angrily, if you think your IQ is low, please stand up. No classmates moved for a long time, and then Xiaoming stood up. The teacher asked: Do you admit that your IQ is low? Xiao Ming said: no, my IQ is not low. I just can't bear to see you standing alone.

Twenty, when studying in the evening, the deskmate said that he wanted to fart, and he couldn't hold back. He asked me to cover him. He counted to three, two, one, I slapped the table, and he farted ... I patted it with all my strength, and a second later, he made a loud noise and farted for three seconds in a row ... The whole class looked at us in unison.

Twenty-one, the northeast girl is the most polite girl I have ever seen. They will ask you advice on anything, such as: "I cut you, do you believe it?" I can chop you to death in a few minutes, you know? "Don't ask me how I know, my face still hurts!

Twenty-two, seven facts that the world has to admit 1, you can't put soapy water in your eyes. 2。 You can't count how much hair you have. 3。 You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue sticks out. 4。 You are doing the third thing. 5。 When you do the third item, you actually think it is feasible, but you will look like a dog. 6。 You're laughing now because I ruined you.