Download the lines of Reverie in the Tiger's Mouth

Hukou Reverie

Liang Zuo Jiang Kun

Comrade A ××× (name B), I want to ask you a question.

B What’s the problem?

A Have you ever fallen?

B Do you mean work or life?

A I don’t have much work and life, but I just don’t pay attention when I walk in the aisle, “bacha”! The dog eats shit and gnaws mud, the horse lies down and falls upside down!

B Huh! Where can anyone fall so hard?

A I had a fall that was worse than this. Not to mention that my fall was at an international level, at least I was among the best in the world.

B Is it so suspenseful?

A First of all, this place is hanging!

B Where?

A Liger Mountain in Beijing Zoo. On Sunday, I went there to watch the tiger play. I don't know who was evil. He pushed forward and shouted: "The tiger is out of the mountain! "I'm sick-", and he pushed me off the edge of the wall!

B, oh, did it break?

It doesn’t matter where A broke it, the key is this place, it... it is not a place for people to stay!

B, I fell into the tiger's cave!

A and I looked up and saw a tiger lying not far away. I was so scared that my voice changed: "Oh... Mom... ! "

Why does B call the tiger mom?

It's not okay for A to call the tiger grandma! It's all over. I am 1.65 meters tall and weigh more than 100 kilograms, which is just the tiger's lunch Meat, that's good, I'll save it for the zoo.

B, you think of something? /p>

Didn’t Tiger B notice you?

He’s flirting with me to express his feelings!

Tiger B is staring at you! As soon as I stared at me, many heroes appeared in my mind!

Hey!

A: When I think about it, there are so many young people in our new era. We can't embarrass the young people by talking about it! How about "Wu Song Fights the Tiger"?

How about A? That's fake! I'm practicing here for real today!

B, are you really good at it?

?

B thought well.

A thought well, but he had to stand up!

B was so scared.

A is soft on the one hand, but I have some considerations on the other hand.

What are you thinking about?

A: Do you know that there is an "animal protection law"? If you kill a tiger, you will be sentenced to two years in prison.

B. He has a strong sense of the law.

A. Who ordered this? Free?

B That’s to protect wild animals.

You protect A’s women and children. Why do you protect those wild animals?

B Then we must protect it.

I am thinking about it here, but there is chaos up there. This person shouts: "Someone has fallen into the tiger's hole, hurry up and save him!" The one cheered me up: "Hold on, buddy!" "I said: "What? Hold on! Somewhere here! Can I hold on? You really don't feel pain in your back when you stand and talk. Come down and stand up for me to see.

"

Isn't Family B worried about you?

A can't be so chaotic! An old man said: "My child, you need a guy to fight a tiger. Come and kill me." I'll throw this stick to you! "A sister-in-law shouted to me: "Brother, do you want a knife? I have a fruit knife here! "

B, look at these two weapons!

A had the idea to throw bricks in and let me step on them to climb up; the other had the idea to throw a cigarette and let me take a puff first. Cheer up. A very kind old lady shouted to me while wiping away her tears: "Son, give me a pen. If you have anything to say, write it down first and I'll tell your adults!" "

B, okay, I want to ask you for a will.

A, listen to this chaos! No one has come out to organize it. It seems that there must be a leader for everything. , even if we organize a temporary team to rescue people from the tiger's mouth! No one will choose me!

Is it too late for B?

A, can you throw a walking stick and a fruit knife? Does it work?

This thing is barely good enough to kill a tiger.

Tiger A is lazy. What am I doing, poking the tiger with the old man’s walking stick?

B Nafei stabbed the tiger's spirit.

A, talk about the old man above, what's the look in your eyes? Look at where you threw the walking stick, right behind the tiger's butt! As soon as I've got enough, I'll grab the tiger's tail again!

B, don't move!

A didn't dare to move. After thinking about it, I agreed to what the old lady said. Well, let me leave a few words!

B, do you really want to leave a will?

A, I am a young man. .

A fortune teller said that this year I will have a catastrophe when I am twenty-eight. I celebrated my birthday a few days ago, and I was still happy!

B escaped the catastrophe. La!

A thinks about it now, probably people calculate it according to the lunar calendar.

B, it’s a coincidence.

A can avoid the first day of the lunar month. Not fifteen. In fact, it’s all my mother’s fault.

What’s wrong with your mother?

A, my mother looks very tall in the audience. Measure it with a measuring tape, it's 1.65 meters.

B is 1.65 meters, that's okay!

A, you just go with me, the girls you are dating don't go with me, they say I am. A second-class cripple, no one wants me. You said that if I have a partner, can I come here to watch the tigers alone on Sunday?

Why not?

A, let the young man who is dating you tell me, who of you is not going to work at the mother-in-law’s house on Sunday?

Is that true for B?

A is opposite the door today? The fourth son woke up early and went to build a small kitchen for his mother-in-law's house. To put it bluntly, since they started dating, the mother-in-law's house will not hire a nanny!

Hey, you are willing to be a nanny?

It doesn’t matter if A is a bit tired from working as a nanny, it’s not life-threatening! Besides, after finishing the work, the two of us went to the park to fall in love. Is there any park like that? In front of the flowers and under the willows, hug your neck and kiss. It tastes good. You can smell the smell of the zoo. It smells fishy and smells bad. Kissing anywhere can affect your mood!

Yihe! Are you falling into a tiger's hole just because you don't have a partner?

It doesn't matter if you don't have a partner. If you were taller, I could see clearly. Why should I push forward? ! This time it was better, I could even see a few of the tiger’s beards!

B Your opportunity is rare.

A Can I give you a chance?

B Don’t go!

A. As soon as he said a few words, he complained about my mother. We don’t want to recruit old people and don’t want to see them. Let’s stop talking!

B Then leave a few words for your work unit.

A, what do you say? Dear leaders and masters, I went out to play during the weekend and accidentally let a tiger eat me... Are you saying this?

B The actual situation.

It is entirely my fault that I am free and slow, unorganized and undisciplined, and that I did not underestimate the serious consequences of a tiger eating me, because I have never died once since I was a child...

B? No one alive has ever died!

A If you die, just die! This time, let’s be tougher with our leaders! I told him, it’s up to you to decide on the pension! Work-related injuries are not counted as "natural death" at most. I guess nothing can be ratified...

B can't ratify either.

A The memorial service is indisputable in my opinion.

B Why?

A I can’t write a eulogy! Comrade ××, studied hard, worked conscientiously, and united comrades, but unfortunately he was bitten by a tiger..."

B is outrageous.

A is in chaos at this time! This Shout: "Young man, calm down, this tiger is quite honest, let us think of something!" The one said: "Hey, someone has found a zookeeper for you!" A young man on the side came up with an idea: "Let's all shout slogans to scare the tiger away. Come on, one, two, three, hit the tiger! One, two, three." , beat the tiger!"

Yi, does this work?

A scared me! "Stop shouting, stop shouting! You are planning to wake up the tiger! One, two, three, four, five, go up the mountain and hunt the tiger. The tiger does not eat people, it only eats Truman!"

B, okay, even The children's songs all came to mind.

A (rushes up and shouts): "Hey! People from above! Shouting slogans doesn't work, tigers can't understand! Hey! People from above! If you really want to imitate Lei Feng's spirit, why don't you come down a few!"

Is there anyone from B who came down?

Don’t worry about A, I took the lead and came down first!

B Then if you let people come down, wouldn’t you have to feed the tiger?

A Even if you feed the tiger, you will die a worthy death. It is more important than Mount Tai. Publish it in the newspaper and put a big black frame on the big photo. Your family will be so happy when they see it!

How happy are you?

A What do you mean if I die? I fed the tiger, it was a useless sacrifice, it was as light as a feather!

B You can be in the newspaper even if you die.

The newspaper on A has at most two sentences: "A young worker accidentally fell into a tiger's mouth and died while visiting a park. Relevant departments remind tourists to pay attention to safety." Listen, there is no name at all, and the whole person is a negative. typical!

B Do you still want to be a positive person?

A What’s wrong?

B You have been thinking for a long time, but nothing works!

A, don’t be busy, wait for me to discuss it with Tiger!

B. Where are you still discussing with Tiger?

A "Tiger, tiger, open your eyes and look at me. I'm quite thin and have no meat! If you want to eat people, ×××(name B) who talks about cross talk is quite fat!"

B, why are you pulling on me!

A "Tiger, tiger, if you don't bite me, I promise I won't bite you either!"

B This is the truth!

A "Tiger, as long as you are merciful and don't eat me today, and you let me get through this, I will definitely live well. Not to mention the four modernizations, I will do all the eight!" Don’t be late in the morning at work, don’t leave early in the evening, and listen to your leaders; be filial to your parents at home, take care of your younger siblings; obey the traffic rules when going out, and don’t spit anywhere!”

B This is all a mess!

A: Don’t look at the mess, you may not be able to remember it at this time.

B You should find a way to get out now!

A It’s easy to say, what kind of place is this? This is where the tiger is kept! Even the tiger can't get out, can I? The wall is more than five meters high and has no strength at all. How was it designed in the first place? Don’t even worry about an elevator! "Hey! Those above, please think of a solution quickly! Ask the administrator, what? The administrator has a day off on Sundays? He has a day off, but tigers don't! If you are tired, just call the police, 110, 119, police or fire department. ! What? After searching for a long time, there is no phone nearby? Listen, what kind of communication equipment is this? If the imperialists suddenly attack, can we handle it? Don't worry about it.

A "Forget it, come out of the zoo, find a TV station, and ask them to send a camera crew to film how the tiger will eat me later!"

B What's this for?

A. Take a live video of a tiger eating a human and sell it to foreigners in exchange for some foreign exchange. It will also count as making some contribution to the "Seventh Five-Year Plan" before your death.

B He is quite enlightened!

A You said it’s been so long, why hasn’t this tiger moved? It moves around, and I can still gesture with it. But it doesn't move, and I don't dare to move anymore! Has this tiger degenerated?

B It is impossible for a tiger to degenerate!

A How did you know?

B In order to maintain the wild nature of tigers, zoos often throw some live chickens and rabbits into the tiger's cave so that the tiger can catch them alive! Especially on Sunday, they will have a big meal...

A It's bad! Today is Sunday! The tiger hasn't eaten yet! Just in time to catch my live food?

B Let him catch up!

A This abominable zoo, after I die, I will never be done with them!

B Let them check deeply! Never again!

A, will you not follow this example? So I'll forget it this time? My life is important. After I die, the director of the zoo will check! Administrator removed! Withhold the bonus! My funeral expenses will be reimbursed by the zoo! Our unit is a loss-making unit, and the secretary is so jealous when he thinks about money. Such a large number of people are gone. Just wait, our secretary won't be done until he gives you 30,000 or 40,000!

B It’s already here, why are you still wondering?

A Then tell me, what am I doing down there alone? The big tiger looked at me and couldn't move me, so why not do some "intellectual development"!

B Hi! Don't mess up your words!

A While I was thinking about it, a girl's voice like a silver bell came into my ears: "Come on, let's all take off the belt, twist it into a rope, and pull the guy up!" ”

Hey, this is a good idea!

A When I heard this, I was so excited that I burst into tears! What a great idea, why didn’t I think of it? I looked up and heard a call. More than thirty people were taking off their belts! Ouch, this is really a new flowering of the "Five Lectures and Four Beauties"! I looked at the girl again. She was wearing a green skirt and was untying a yellow skirt. This girl...this girl is so beautiful!

B How long has it been and you still have this thought?

A: No, I mean, at a critical moment, this girl was able to come forward to save a stranger. Does that mean that this girl...is a little interesting to me?

B You are too wicked.

A No, look at there are so many young men around her, why doesn’t he look at any of them, but only looks at me?

B Nonsense! Who made you fall? If not, who are you looking at?

No matter what you say, I guess you can’t tell your height from top to bottom. Maybe my marriage is a big deal. This is called a blessing in disguise. They say heroes save beauties, and today it’s beauties who save me. Hero, hehe...

B, stop laughing! Are you alive? You just want to have a date?

A What are you staring at? How come you have no sympathy at all? As the saying goes, a gentleman talks but doesn't do anything. If I don't speak or do anything, I'll just move my mind. I'm almost dead. How can you be more serious than me?

B Okay, I’m talking too much, let’s move, move!

A It’s too late to say it, but it will be soon. I saw a rope twisted from more than thirty belts, coming down the wall. I looked up and saw more than thirty people above me holding pants and looking down at me! You saved me like this, I can't help you. This leg hooked over the old man's walking stick; this hand picked up the sister-in-law's fruit knife. This is called: knowing clearly that there are tigers in the mountains, traveling to the tiger mountains! There is a red sun in my chest, my hands are dancing in the east wind! Dare to compete with tigers and never give in to monsters! Grief and anger turn into the power of recovery, and there will be successors in fighting the tiger! I tried my best, hey! Guess what, I stood up!

B I dare you to sit down all the time?

A Nonsense, my legs are so weak, why should I lie down if I don’t sit down?

B Climb up quickly!

A I looked and saw the rope right in front of me. I grabbed it, one step, two steps, three steps, four steps. As the saying goes, a dog can jump over a wall if it's impatient, and people can be very energetic if they're impatient! "No! No! No!"! This is called exciting! You said that to climb Mount Everest, you need to be followed by a big tiger. Is it possible to climb it alone?

B You are just talking nonsense about being capable.

A Looking back, the tiger just opened one eye, hey, this is called victory in sight! (Singing) "Goodbye, my friend! Goodbye, my friend!..." Goodbye, Tiger! Why don't you come here! Tiger, you are hungry! It seems that you are lonely enough, and the zoo leaders don’t care about you. Don’t worry, wait for your buddy to go out and introduce you to a tigress!

B Hi!

A "Hey! Hey!" After a few more steps, he exerted his strength, "Hey!" I'm out.

B You are saved!

A The crowd cheered and I felt confused.

B was quite frightened this time.

A Suddenly, I remembered a key question!

B What’s the problem?

A Where is the yellow belt?

B Girl’s crony?

A is here. I quickly untied it and held it in my hand like a hada. Huh, carrying her fragrance and warmth, I sidled towards the girl.

B What are you anxious about?

A I don’t have a partner yet, so I can’t help but hurry!

B Everyone saved you, why don’t you thank everyone first?

A I’m trembling here, can I speak?

B Then shake hands with everyone!

A. No one wants to shake hands with me.

B What’s wrong?

A is holding up his pants!

B Hi!