Smile with tears. I have only one heart to say this. It looks painful.

1 Without physical friction, there is no spark of love.

The advantage of news simulcast is that even if you have been changing channels, you can watch a whole news.

I shaved my head just to win your smile!

Love is a lie, and feelings are sleep.

God gave me a task to take a snail for a walk.

Don't mess with animals that bleed once a month.

7 smile affects the acne on the corners of the mouth.

Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ!

I'm so sleepy during the holiday and at school.

10 I kick you to the south gate. . .

1 1 People who can't lose weight are always in turmoil, and people who don't eat fat are fearless.

12 grew up with pimples and grew up with pits.

13 is the world too hypocritical, or am I too naive!

In this life, 14 people just wander between getting and not getting.

15 The person who is most sincere to you in this world is a liar, because only he is lying to you sincerely.

16 Brush the toilet with the landlord's toothbrush when you are depressed.

17 hates you and loves you. Hate is value. Love needs no explanation.

18 After today, don't meet again. I'm afraid of hitting you several times every day when I wake up.

19 I remember catching several tadpoles and breaking its tail when I was a child. It's a pity to think of it now.

I created a post bar with my own name, and it feels good to go here alone.

2 1 mom said that people who are too rational will definitely miss the opportunity to go astray and miss the beautiful scenery along the way brought by mistakes.

Some things are beyond our control, so we must control ourselves.

The teacher taught me math because I was afraid I wouldn't count money when I grew up.

When I was 24 years old, I scalded bugs with a red-hot poker, took them away after scalding, and then scalded them to a scorch.

Hypocritical people are always more successful than sincere people.

Sometimes, telling the truth is not believed, and telling lies is believed.

That night, I was drunk, grabbed your feet and set fire to it.

You bully me, I won't kill you, I'll kill you.

I told you that I look after the house and you are with her, but I just have no imagination.

If you run away with me at the age of 30, you have to grow up.

Only one heart looks hurt. -Super non-mainstream

This is always a mystery to the authorities, but in love, the beholder sees clearly.

So the system will automatically set obstacles. System reminder: Because the user signature is too * * *.

Take your bitch and get out of my world, making you shameless and lucky.

The latest personality signature wants to take down a person. You have to give him a woman.

Others say that I am too cloudy and that others are not open.

Now she is going to be rich, and a woman once told me; Even if you pick up garbage, you should always come with me.

But I want to be obscene and touch the world. Luxury is seeking, not coquettish and shocking. It is impossible to be dissolute and shameless.

To be a man, you have to be a man like King Kong, for the sake of your beloved woman, on the highest tower in the world, the grey machine.

The next person will be better. There is a lot of grass in the sea.

↓ Miss Ben, the man who robbed money and food ↑▇▇▇

I'm almost a senior three, but I haven't passed enough.

Tired of thinking about yourself like this.

Play a little withdrawn, play a little emotional appeal Maybe you can entertain yourself.

If you accompany me all my life, it is worship.

Then I would like to draw a prison floor, if it must be huge and injured. Trapped in this life "

Everyone is tired of watching it. Inside, the goods have a deadline. How long can it be awesome?

I'm afraid it's too far to find the starting point. I'm afraid the two worlds can't draw a circle.

I'm in a good mood and I'm afraid of mistress! No matter how good his martial arts are, he is afraid of kitchen knives.

Facing the sea, there is a house. Spring blossoms, 4M broadband, you can order take-out, express transfer, and don't pay the mortgage.

Witness of love, white liquid left on the sheets. Or the source of guilt

I would rather love 1000. I didn't miss any of them,

Being in love and not getting married is a hooligan. Chairman Mao said.

Only one heart. It looks painful.

I don't care that she is in sogou, I look for him in the crowd.

When I have money, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital.

Please don't try to change. My only choice is to accept support or shut up and leave.

Because this is an unknown number. Don't ask me how much I love you.

Hold my dog while others hold hands. Take a walk, swim and see who bites badly.

Funny personality phrases that make you cry.

1, you said that ice was sleeping water, I only remember that fart was a breath of shit.

I have no sense of hooliganism at all.

3. "Doctor, what should I do with big pores?" "The pixel drops."

Nowadays, people are talking with each other on the surface, but they are actually playing with their brains.

5, freezing three feet is not a cold day, and the three layers of the lower abdomen are not a cold day.

6. How much love can be messed around and how many broken shoes are waiting.

7. It is almost the end of the world. If you have money, spend it quickly. If you die, it's useless.

8. Women conquer men with stockings, and men conquer banks with stockings.

9. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me?

10 teacher, you are the devil in my heart. The closer I am to you, the farther I am from Buddha. ...

1 1. A man's words are like an old lady's teeth. How much is true?

12, alarm clock ranks third among all sleeping goods and bedding, so I have to change it frequently.

13, I haven't weighed myself for half a year because I know.

14, I have two hobbies, quiet and moving, quiet is sleeping, moving is turning over.

15, it is said that women are like clothes. Are you ashamed to go out naked?

16, God, I will never call you grandpa again. You don't love my grandson.

17, someone bathed his 3-year-old daughter. Just after putting her daughter in the bathtub, her daughter shouted, "Mom, look, dad is picking up girls!" "

18, yes, you are the first step of genius!

19, bed, you let me go, come on, I have to go to school.

The night gives you black eyes, but you roll your eyes with them.

2 1, men are not bad, women don't love them, men don't care, it's purely a decoration.

22. How people die is boredom.

23. When buying baked sweet potatoes, please ask the boss loudly what the stuffing is.

24. Teenagers are ignorant and precious, but they are forced to cry when they are old.

25. If I can forgive your vulgarity, can you tolerate my affectation?

26, it is said that the weight is only 100, either flat-chested or short.

27. Sometimes tears just can't be pulled out.

30 mood phrases that make you cry.

1. I drank too much two days ago. Back in the dormitory, I confessed to a girl I liked for a long time. I fell asleep without replying to the text message for a long time. The next morning, my mother suddenly called me and asked me if I had drunk last night. I said, how do you know? She said that I sent the text message by mistake and asked me to send it to others quickly. I said I was sober and didn't have the guts, and then I listened to my mother keep calling me. Now drink more, drink more. It's really your mother.

2. A taxi driver. Yesterday, I installed a super beautiful sister paper, which instantly opened the B-loading mode. There is an incoming call on the mobile phone. If you secretly press it, it will ring. Pick up the phone: "Hey, I'm driving a taxi for my friend today. Well, yes, he went to drink his classmate's wedding wine. " By the way, what did Xiao X say? I have invested more than 30 million in his projects. If he still loses money, tell him not to come to me! That's it! "So comfortable, beauty also sneaked over. When getting off the bus, the beauty said, "Master, change your work permit in the car next time! " "

On the way, I was answering the phone when my wife suddenly shouted to me, "Who? Who is it? Who? " I said impatiently, "Don't you ask me after I call?" Just then, a sprinkler passed by me, and I was drenched in an instant. I blamed my wife with a straight face: "You didn't remind me when the sprinkler came." The wife said, "I didn't remind you just now!" " "I asked," what's the reminder? The wife said, "water, water, water! " "

Once upon a time, two women came to the county government, and they both said that the child was hers. The county magistrate said, "well, put the child in the middle, and you will stand and pull. Whoever pulls the child will be his!" " "The county magistrate thought his mother how can have the heart to do so? True and false must be clear at a glance! So I asked someone to put the child in the middle of the hall and announced the beginning. I saw two women silently take off their pants and squat down. ...

My wife is leaning in my arms. Suddenly, she found a long hair on my dress with sharp eyes. Without saying anything, she picked up my crazy fan and said, "Say, which is Bichi!" " I wiped the blood from the corners of my mouth and said tearfully, "Isn't this yours?" She compared it, thought thoughtfully for a while, grabbed me and began to fan wildly: "You see my hair is split like this, why don't you take me to do nursing!" "

6. Early in the morning, I called the goddess: "Do you want to go to the movies tonight?" Who knows that the goddess is not interested in this, but rather wants to see my home. Isn't this a clear hint that I have confirmed my relationship? Thinking of this, I was elated and hung up the phone, sweetly remembering her answer just now: Go to see your uncle!

7. In the steamed stuffed bun shop, I asked for a cage of steamed buns, a bowl of porridge and an egg. When I was eating high, I came over to a couple. Man: "The boss wants four steamed buns and a bowl of porridge." The boss responded: "Don't sell four steamed buns, at least one cage." The couple responded that we couldn't finish eating! The boss pointed at me beautifully and said, "That girl eats a cage of steamed bread, a bowl of porridge and an egg! You must finish eating! " I was in a good mood!

8. A colleague went on a business trip and his wallet was stolen, leaving only ten dollars in his pocket. He found an Internet cafe and surfed the Internet all night. In a small place, he is cheap and doesn't check his papers. He hung up QQ and thought it would be easy to remit money if he met an acquaintance. As a result, the landlord won a lot of joy beans in one night, and finally sold it to a person next to him, bought a ticket and came back, just like a fairy!

I said to my wife, "My aunt's dog fell into the river because she was chasing a chicken." The wife said, "You deserve it. Those who play with chickens have no good end. " Me: ......

10, my friend and son are happy together, but he seems unhappy. Today, I saw his updated QQ status: I waited for my lover in my previous life with great joy, but I waited for gay friends in my previous life!

1 1, caught a cold today. Remember chasing a goddess in high school. One day, she caught a slight cold, and my chance came. I went to see her and insisted on taking her to the hospital. She didn't want to go to the back, and I dragged her. She finally got on the bus. I was so excited to ride a motorcycle for the first time that I broke her leg halfway. I ... I ...

12, university, late at night, in heavy rain, a woman and her brother were drunk and asked the landlord to see her off. After finding her in a dark alley, she was drunk. Gc is, squatting on the ground, playing a multi-role kindergarten house game. Whisper in my mouth. It scared me to death.

13. My mother and I went to RT Mart to buy a toilet and went to the first floor to buy bread. I'm bored. I want to try the toilet in my hand, so I press it on the smooth ground. As a result ... I can't pull it out! Everyone who buys bread looks at me and pulls the toilet like a joke! Including my mother!

14, I went on a blind date today and suddenly became nervous when I saw that the blind date's sister was very beautiful. At first, I couldn't find words. Embarrassed for a long time, my sister said: you are quite handsome. I was so nervous that I casually said, you are blind. alas ......

15, my friend said that there is a girl here who is very talented and has a superior family. She has just returned from studying in the United States. Her parents are reasonable, have a particularly good personality and are good at cooking. Do you want to meet her? I said I couldn't see it. The friend said, why? I said you said a lot of advantages here, but you haven't mentioned your face yet.

16, my daughter is three years old and needs a lot of sleep every day! When I came home from work, I saw her sitting motionless in her chair and asked her, "What's the matter? Who bullied you? " She said to me, "Leave me alone. I'm tired of sleeping. I will sleep after a while. "

17, Xiao Hegang has a girlfriend, and they often chat on their mobile phones. Once, when Xiao He was at work, he suddenly wanted to talk to his girlfriend. Personal phone calls are not allowed in the office, so he calls his girlfriend on the pretext of going to the bathroom. Chatting, someone came in to pee, and the other end of the phone asked what the sound was. Xiao He learns quickly: I am pouring tea.

18, a children's shoe asked me a question. The question is, which three animals stack up highest? I said: elephants, giraffes, Yao Ming. That children's shoe says people don't count. I said that with the boa constrictor, these three species stand very high. The standard answer turns out to be: pig, female wolf, wasp. Connected are mother pig, wolf and wasp-Mount Everest!

19, lz was bored, so I forced my kitten to press its head and watch TV with me. I thought it was very interesting, so I persisted for a month ... One day, I bought a hamster and the hamster stole the kitten's food. As a result, the kitten put the hamster in its mouth and watched TV according to its head. .......

20. Now. . Making friends with local tyrants is weak. . Blackie. . There is a godlike existence in ipartment: sometimes he lives downstairs and sometimes next door; He sold fireworks without a license and modified the washing machine circuit; He has an astronomical telescope and a portable diesel generator; I played billiards with Zi Qiao and helped Meijia throw wild fish from Dianshan Lake. Helped Youyou find a shooting location and even produced his own fertilizer. Blackie, let's be friends!

2 1, eating noodles at a stall in the morning, a man about my age came over and saw me wipe my mouth with a paper towel and asked me if I wanted it. I thought it was a bowl, so I answeredno. He picked up the bowl and drank it into his mouth. . .

I paused and said to him, "You order a bowl and I'll pay." He answered simply: "I just want soup, thank you!" " "I've been thinking about this. I just want to say that there are so few people with personalities now!

22. Today, I asked my good friend to give me some money. I gave him the card number. He didn't call me this afternoon, so I asked him, "Why haven't you called?" His balls replied, your card is full and you can't get in.

23.2 16, school starts. The teacher began to check his homework. A classmate didn't do his Chinese homework. The teacher asked: What about your homework? That classmate lied. A: No, the teacher asked again, when will you bring it? A: February 30th. This is not GC, GC is the teacher said: don't forget to bring it again on February 30.

24. Let's talk about lz's sister paper some time ago. There is a 7-year-old cousin at home. One day, the whole family was having breakfast. Cousin refused to eat by herself and asked her mother to feed her. Her mother said, "You are so old that you still need your mother to feed you. What a shame. " My sister immediately replied, "Then you still use children's diapers when you are so old." At the family picnic ...

25. Buy a bottle of drink from the supermarket that has a chance to win the prize, and open the bottle cap with expectation. What's inside can make you angry: another bottle cap.

26. One day, a man was walking alone in the forest with a gun in his hand. Suddenly, he saw a wolf! Because of fear and only one bullet in the gun, he committed suicide. At this moment, the wolf came, saw him, turned around and left.

27. I have a friend of 14 years old with a small basin. His mother's friend is pregnant and her stomach is dripping heavily. The friend was very angry and asked, "Aunt, what's in your belly?" Aunt missed Doby and said, "This is a little monster!" Just after that, Xiao's friend punched his aunt in the stomach and said calmly, "Aunt, is it dead?"

I didn't know anything about chemistry in today's exam, so I made a gesture to my classmates. The students pointed at several girls in succession. I carefully observed those girls several times and wrote ADCBACDB with confidence.

29. I have a young aunt who is only a few years older than me. Once my aunt and I went shopping arm in arm and were very affectionate. As a result, the passing class teacher found out and went back to tell my mother that she saw my puppy love. My mother asked me what happened that day. . I silently thought about it and said, ask your sister. . My mother drew a mouth in an instant.

30. After dinner, my daughter pestered her father and said, "Dad, let me kiss you." Dad was very happy, so he leaned over and asked, "Do you think dad is very kind to you?" The daughter kissed her father on the face several times and then said, "Well, I wiped my mouth clean this time. There are no napkins at home. Don't forget to buy it next time you go to the supermarket. "

Editor's note: A Jun came back from other places and saw his father and neighbors talking. So I stepped forward. The neighbor asked, "When did you come back?" Jun: "I came back last night." His father was furious and Bigfoot stepped forward: "Did you come back from the bowl? Why don't you come back from the basin? "