Who can give me some & gt some interesting text fragments?

(Yan Ni)

Popularity index: ★★★★★★★

Prototype: Jin Xiangyu Xinlongmen Inn

Occupation: shopkeeper of Tongfu Inn

Specialty: stingy

Born: Miss Longmen Escort Agency (one brother, one father and one mother)

Hobbies: money, Bai Zhantang, Mo Xiaobei.

Ideal: Marry Laobai and have a son.

The mantra: (Shaanxi dialect) Oh, my God.

Hidden occupation: wife of the former head of Hengshan Sect (her husband is dead)

Weapon: smiling face

Special effects: bedroom eyes

Quotations: (Shaanxi dialect) Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. ...

Nemesis: Bai Zhantang.

Bai Zhantang

(Sha Yi)

Popularity index: ★★★★★

Prototype: Bai Zhantang = Bai Yutang (Golden Hairy Mouse)+Zhan Zhao (Southern Summer) King Cat.

Occupation: Running in Tongfu Inn

Specialty: cowardice

Birth: Sunflower Gate (there is a mother, Bai Sanniang, who is the messenger of Six Gates).

Hobbies: money, Tong Xiangyu, gold medal of impunity.

Ideal: Clear your criminal record and be an ordinary person.

Spell: find some.

Hidden occupation: stealing saints (retired)

Weapons: fingers, eyes

Special effects: sunflower acupuncturist, sunflower acupuncturist.

Quotations: Alas, the young master's body runs the waiter's life!

Enemy: Tong Xiangyu, Yamen.

Guo Furong

(Sebrina)

Popularity index: ★★★★★

Prototype: Guo Furong = Guo Fu+Huang Rong "The Condor Heroes"

Occupation: handyman in Tongfu Inn

Specialty: Bullying the weak and fearing the hard (only for people with lower martial arts than themselves)

Birth: Guo Juxia's daughter (father, mother, sister and brother)

Hobbies: Lv Xiucai, fighting.

Ideal: to be an incomparable woman.

Mantra: Besides, I rank you.

Hidden occupation: male and female evil spirits (separated)

Weapons: palms, eyes

Stunt: overwhelming (only one move)

Quotations: The world is so wonderful, but I am so grumpy, which is not good, not good.

Nemesis: Lv Xiucai, Tong Xiangyu, Bai Zhantang.

Lv Qinghou

(Yu Entai)

Popularity index: ★★★★

Prototype: = Legend of Left Chu Liuxiang

Occupation: accountant of Tongfu Inn

Specialty: being bullied, jealous, settling accounts, procrastinating.

Origin: Three generations of ancestors were prefects (but they suffered repeated defeats and wars).

Hobbies: reading, Guo Furong.

Ideal: to be Lu Zi.

Son once said the mantra.

Hidden occupation: Guanzhong warrior (the first Guanzhong warrior in history who can't do martial arts)

Weapons: mouth

Stunt: writing a martial arts novel (unfortunately, it has never been published)

Quotations: Confucius said that Shakespeare said that as long as there is life, there is hope. Shepherd would rather lose wool than sheep.

Nemesis: Guo Furong.

Lidazui

(Chao Jiang)

Popularity index: ★★★★

Prototype: Double Pride: Li Dazui+Quick-talking Li Cuilian.

Occupation: Chef of Tongfu Inn

Specialty: big mouth, cooking.

Birth: nephew of the county magistrate

Hobbies: Cooking, Yang Huilan is unparalleled.

Ideal: Determined to be a hero or a writer.

My pet phrase: I am a born chef, and catching fast is not my pursuit. (northeast cavity)

Nemesis: Yang Huilan.

Top ten funny lines

1. Lv Xiucai: The breeze and the bright moon tickle my heart, dig my heart! (asking the proprietress) What other words are there?

Boss: Steal my heart!

Lv Xiucai: Yes! The breeze and the bright moon stole my heart!

Thief: Are you such a thief? Stealing, cleaning people's houses.

Stealing Saint (White): Can it be done without cleaning? I have to follow the footprints.

Thief: You have something. You will return them to others in a few days.

Theft of Saint: Can I not send it back? You are not in a hurry to lose things!

3. Li Dazui's mother: I eat more salt than you eat!

Li Dazui: That's your mouth!

Li Dazui's mother: I have crossed more bridges than you have!

Li Dazui: That's because I'm too lazy to move!

4. Guo Furong Kuixing Catcher: It's really a bully in the Seven Chivalries!

Li Dazui: Who is that mother?

5. proprietress: a woman's happiness is to marry a man and serve him all her life.

Guo Furong: Why didn't he wait on me all his life?

Boss: You know why you can't get married.

6. Teacher: Is this Li Kui jy?

Mo Xiaobei: No, this is Zhang Fei.

Teacher: Oh, how about this?

Mo Xiaobei: Yue Fei.

Teacher: How about this?

Mo Xiaobei: Faye Wong.

Everybody: What does Faye Wong do?

One more actor: sing!

7. Laobai: Read the whole Norwegian forest.

Scholar: Come on, what age is this? There is no such petty book to read.

Laobai: No, you can't write?

8. Scholar: Zi once said, "It is impolite to come and not go."

Oh, so you molested her?

9. Scholar: Why not let me write Spring Festival couplets?

Wife of shop-owner: Your handwriting is too thin to celebrate. Save it for Qingming.

10. Boss: What's your goal?

Guo Furong: Be an incomparable woman.

Mother-in-law: Why do you carry it so far? Say it closer.

Guo Furong: A raise.

Boss: This one is farther than the previous one.

Slight anger

It has the same characteristics as * * *: when you hear this sentence, you will generally react to the itch of the root. ...

1, big mouth: Why am I wrong again?

Reason for being on the list: He said something wrong. ...

2. Small six: What's the matter? What's the matter? I didn't say anything wrong, just ... ...

Reason for being on the list: catching the head is really extraordinary, which makes people feel that they are wrong at all. ..

3. Beckham: Sister-in-law ~ ~ Son ~ ~ ~

Reason for listing: Xiao Ni must have made a mistake when she said this. ..

4. Hu Shi Niang: Lang Jun ... Are you hungry? Tell Teacher Niang when you are hungry. Du Shiniang will make noodle soup for you, and Du Shiniang will make noodle soup for you. ...

Reason for listing: it is easy to have internal injuries after listening. ..

5, big mouth: Then why not call it the same difficulty?

Reason for being on the list: This is totally heartless (but the big mouth here is also cute)

6. Exhibition Hall: The final interpretation right belongs to the organizer/all sponsors' chickens will enter the finals directly!

Reason for listing: deceive the masses! Fortunately, there was no 3 15.

7. Scholars once said ...

Reason for being on the list: Although it is very successful, the frequency is a bit too high (but the scholars here are also very cute) ..

8. Yu Xiang: Feelings belong to feelings, and business belongs to business!

Reason for being on the list: it's a bit excessive, but ... that's the truth.

Moderately angry article

Features: it makes people gnash their teeth and want to be overwhelmed. ..

1, Zhantang: I'm not happy here either ... (Reaching out and hugging Sai The Story Of Diu Sim)

Reason for listing: Go! Do you want to die or do you want to die?

2. Mr. Bao: I have one more request. Although it's a bit excessive, can you be my sixteenth aunt before I die?

Reason for listing: There are really too many.

3. Xiaoliu: Come here, hum, I'll burn it. ...

Reason for listing: evidence ......................................................................................................................................................................

4. Simpson: I love you, which means that you have eaten …

Reason for listing: fake foreign devil, despise him for one minute!

5. Bai Sanniang: I want to drink soybean milk.

Yu Xiang: I'll lead the donkey. ...

San Niang: I wish you had come. Why are you carrying a donkey? How much do I have to feed him ...

Reason for listing: Xiang Yu is not as good as a donkey. ...

Be extremely angry

Features: people have the impulse to smash TV, sunflower avalanches can't kill your anger, and volcanoes erupt. ..

Extreme anger third place:

Jin Xiangyu: 25% … 50% … 75% … 100% …

Reason for listing: Seeing this, my idea is: I will fight with you! !

Extremely angry, second place:

In the selection, a series of:

1, Furong: Don't argue with her. We shopkeepers usually do this.

Reason for listing: I'll deal with you later ..! !

2. Exhibition Hall: You two have the same name, but different surnames. One is gold, the other is copper ... Oh, my God, what are you doing?

Reason for listing: I think it's light!

3. Big mouth: Oh, the shopkeeper can also use idioms …

Reason for listing: Why are all beautiful women so excited ...! ! !

Extreme anger first:

Scene—

Bai: I helped you on a whim. ..

Tong: Are you happy now? Help me turn it over. I haven't seen it yet. ...

Bai: No turning, no turning!

Kim: Turn it over, turn it over.

Bai (laughs, stands up): Turn it over.

Reason for listing: I have never seen such a birthday celebration ... .

"People floating in the river's lake, who can not get a knife? White camel mountain strong bone powder, oral and external use, has a miraculous effect. I got a knife and drew a pack, but I want to get a second knife. I bent over and ate a bag, and I won't be old until I'm 200. White camel mountain strong bone powder, youth powder, friendship powder, Huashan Lunjian designated nutrition, and all major pharmacies in the town have sales in Yiguang. Please look for the black toad anti-counterfeiting mark when buying, gung, gung ... "

Go back to your home and find your mother!

"Only when we reached the top of the mountain did we realize that the wrong road and the right road were only a few steps away."

"Sometimes catching a thief is as simple as that."

Lv Xiucai: I stabbed you with a sword, and you only said four words. I stabbed you with two swords and you said 36,000 words. Why?

Guo Furong: …

Lv Xiucai: When I stabbed you with the first sword, you said "hero, forgive me", and when I stabbed you with the second sword, you said "36,000 words"! ~

"Being a man with his tail between his legs is called chivalry."

"Don't steam steamed buns for breath!"

Zoom in, close-up, two people pulling each other's hair, slapping and biting,

At the same time, they shouted to each other: "Let go, let go! You put it first! You put it first! "

"Beauty is not discounted"

My sister's name is Mei, and my sister's name is Fold.

Listen, people inside, hand over stinky tofu and release the hostages! ! !

"Ah, my hot biceps brachii ~ ~ ~! ! "

Du Shiniang sings: Are you hungry ~ ~ ~

Bai Zhantang heard seven bleeding. ............

It's really funny

The proprietress was puzzled by Li Dazui's hunger strike: "You always eat when you are not hungry, but now you are not hungry if you don't eat for two days?"

Mo Xiaobei: To hell with her!

Boss: Do you want to die? ! Wait till you finish learning!

If God gives me another chance, I will definitely say three words to you: ... less salt! ! !

Xiaomi: What's this?

Passerby: A penny.

Xiaomi: Do you know what day it is today?

Passerby: ...

Xiaomi: Today is the fifteenth day, and the fifteenth day of the first day is a beggar's rest day. Here you are.

The next day, Xiaomi met passers-by again.

Xiaomi: Give me my money back.

Passerby: Don't you want it?

Xiaomi: Yesterday was fifteen, today is sixteen. I go to work.

For this reason, I laughed my head off. )

Also, Xiaomi: beggars have dignity.

Lv Xiucai soliloquized when practicing to collect debts from Guo Furong:

Guo, how have you been recently? If you have any difficulties, just say,

Say ~ even if there is no difficulty in making difficulties! ~!

I feel the mantra in the play: Oh, my God! ! ! (Oh, my God)

Xing Shoutou praised the Hongyi Building next door (the name is not like a restaurant).

Xing Catcher: I was invited by Chef * * *;

Wife of shop-owner: We invited a chef from the Yellow Crane Tower.

Xing took a look at the boss's wife.

Wife of shop-owner: Hehe, washing dishes is also a serious craft ~! ~! (ps: Li Dazui used to wash dishes in the Yellow Crane Tower)

Xing Catcher: Their wine is authentic Daughter Red (I can't remember).

Boss: We make our own wine, ............................................................................................................................................................. ~ 1

Xing Catcher: They invited a famous big bowl to sing * *

Wife of shop-owner: We also have lotus here. (Shouting) Come on, Xiaomi.

Xiaomi (beggar outside the door): I'm eating, and I don't have time ~! ~!

Jiushi Xinghua village Fenjiu

Not for washing dishes, but for washing vegetables in the Yellow Crane Tower.

Oh, my God! (proprietress)

My son! (Lv Qinghou)

Are you sure? Are you sure? (Guo Furong)

I don't deny veto and negation (Lv Qinghou)

Guo: I can't sing.

It's okay. Brother Cui is not here. You can lip-synch ~ ~ ~

Du Shiniang! The lyrics are as follows, but the tune is sad and not as funny as yesterday, haha.

Du Shiniang ~

Lonely lights at night

I sat alone in the cabin.

I'm in the cabin, Du Shiniang.

Waiting for my lang

Suddenly listen to the window

Someone named Du Shiniang.

Put your hand on the window bar and look around.

Why not see my lang?

Ah ~ ~ ~

Jun Lang

Are you hungry?

If you are hungry,

Tell me, ten niang.

Ten Niang, I'll make you noodle soup.

Jun Lang

Are you cold?

If you panic because of the cold,

Tell me, ten niang.

Ten Niang, I'll make clothes for you

Ah ~ ~ ~

Jun Lang

Are you bored?

If you're bored,

Tell me, ten niang.

Ten Niang, I've come to relieve your sorrow.

Jun Lang

Do you miss your parents?

If you miss your parents,

Tell me, ten niang.

Ten Niang, I'll go home with you.

Ah ~ ~ ~

Jun Lang

Are you sleepy?

If you are sleepy,

Tell me, ten niang.

Ten Niang, I'll help you to the bamboo bed.

Damn it, Du Shiniang.

Holding a treasure chest in his hand

Jump into the rolling Yangtze River

Never see my lang again.

Ah ~ ~ ~

Lang Jun ~

Are you hungry?

If you are hungry,

Tell me, ten niang.

Ten Niang, I'll make noodle soup for you ~ ~

Later manned also sing:

Lang Jun ~

Are you hungry?

If you are hungry,

Tell me Xiang Yu

Yu Xiang, I'll fry pork intestines for you. .......

Life is unbearable, and cooking is even more unbearable. .........

Guo Furong likes to talk back:

You wasted my friendship with you ... friendship ... friendship ... friendship ... friendship ... friendship ... friendship. ...

Guo Furong; I used to have yellow hair and split hair * ~ ~ since I used the sesame oil ground by .......... and Li Dazui.

hahahaha

Also: hello, hello, everyone.

Bai Zhantang: "Keep a low profile! Keep a low profile! "

Good night, sorry.

Good night, please come in.

Good night. bye.

Lotus and scholar PK that explosive:

Furong: Suppose I can shoot you to death with three hands. Every time I clap my hands, you will scream "Woman, please forgive me". So, how much do you want to say before you die?

Scholar: I refuse to answer this question.

Furong: That's a waiver.

Scholar: Scream three times, four words at a time, one word *** 12.

Furong: Wrong! It is nine words!

Scholar: Why?

Furong: The first palm goes down, "Women forgive", four words; The second palm goes down, "woman forgives", eight words; The third palm goes down, and you die immediately. You only said one word "ah", 8+ 1=9. hahahaha ...

Bai Yutang, the thief, gave the policewoman a note that said, "I'm going to steal your heart."

When a woman was so hot, the note slipped from her hand and landed in Yu Sen's hand. Yu Sen was punished for checking the next night. He shouted at once. . . . Oh,no. Tang Baiyu is going to eat people. . . . . . . . . . . Laugh! !

Du Shiniang gave the shopkeeper one hundred and twenty pieces of silver to keep him, and everyone despised the shopkeeper.

Everyone said angrily, "I'll give you one hundred and twenty pieces of silver!" "

Children's shopkeeper: "I feel dizzy when I see hard silver on my head ... am I greedy?" ~ ~"

Everyone: "Great! ! ! ! ! "

Child shopkeeper: "..."

Everyone: "You said you were ashamed ~ ~"

Child shopkeeper bowed his head: "shame .............. (then looked up and smiled) shame and joy ~ ~"

Lao Xing's self-hypnosis:

This is not clear noodle soup ... this is not clear noodle soup ... this is not clear noodle soup ...

This is eel noodles … this is eel noodles … this is eel noodles …

This is not kimchi, this is not kimchi, this is not kimchi. ...

This is a fat sausage, this is a fat sausage, this is a fat sausage. ...

(then bite)

Who slipped this fat sausage? Why is it so salty and crisp?

I watched a robbery yesterday and robbed a beggar's bowl.

Q: Why did you rob him?

Is there anyone else in the street so late?

Q: Why did you steal his bowl?

A: Does he have anything else?

When the White War Party and Guo teamed up to steal the ring back, the head of the criminal detention had to search in pawn shops, antique shops and grocery stalls first.

Guo: Why not?

Head of punishment: then search brothels?

Guo: Why not?

Criminal detention head: (with a heavy heart) Your mother's arrival will affect your career!

Point to the cow's hoof and your hand will be broken. . .

Dragons are dragons, monsters and so on. . .

"I can't read, who am I afraid of?"

Exhibition Hall: Acting School? ! Call me acting school? ! ! This is not swearing! ! ! I am an idol! ! !

Hengshan faction is in conflict. I heard that it is because the owner built a house with public funds for the wedding. ....

Corruption. What? ....

Big mouth: "Where can I find bird's nest?"

Exhibition hall: "If you can't find bird's nest, look for a pigsty. A lot, that's enough ... "

Xing Capture: Where is the scene? Where is the body? Witness, material evidence, temporary residence permit ... = =! !

Lv Xiucai: What can I do?

The proprietress looked at him and said, just live well.

Then he pointed to the counter and said, stand there.

Lv Xiucai: Why?

Boss: Save your energy and eat less.

Lv Xiucai immediately ran to the front of the counter, expressionless and motionless.

Today, Laobai and the criminal captors are cool.

Laobai: "Where's your knife?"

The person in charge of criminal detention: "There is no knife in hand, but there is a knife in my heart."

Lao Bai: "Wrong, the highest state is that there is no knife in the hand and no knife in the heart."

Then two people open posture-rock, paper, scissors!

The punishment was defeated and the head was scratched to protest: "Isn't it said that there is no knife in the hand and no knife in the heart?"

Laobai: "Yes, I am scissors, not a knife!" " "

Bai Zhantang's flick of hair is so interesting.

Water Margin. . Xu Shui. .

-You are not illiterate, at least you know the word "illiterate". . .

The man who caught the criminal heard that the lost chicken was back, and looked depressed. He lowered his head and said, Mom, I made a wrong case, which affected my career.

Wife of shop-owner said to the head of punishment; I serve you, I respect you, and my heart worships you.

"Only when we reached the top of the mountain did we realize that the wrong road and the right road were only a few steps away."

Li Dazui's mother: Son, when you are defeated by the enemy and he wants to kill you, you must let him read the words behind you before he dies generously!

(The last four words: the hero forgives)

Mouth: Boss, you don't know anything. Her face changes quickly and her acting skills are high. Only Xia Qing and Yu Man can compare with her in this life. "

Jim: That's because she doesn't play well, and Xia Qing Yu Man plays beyond her level ... "

Please choose me as the best answer.