Are second-married couples really not of the same mind?

Are second-married couples really not of the same mind?

Are second-married couples really not of the same mind? There are also a lot of second-married couples now, and second-married couples also have their own You are careful, so you need to be tolerant when getting along with each other. So let me share with you whether the second-married couple really doesn't have the same heart. Are second-married couples really not of one mind? 1

Various problems are prone to arise in the reorganization of second-married families. Only a very small number of people are truly happy. The reasons are as follows:

1. Self Protection

Since I have been hurt to some extent in my previous marriage, I will be wary of my other half in this marriage. I want to protect myself, but I cannot devote myself wholeheartedly. and dedication, the relationship between the two is often relatively dull.

2. Financial issues

It is difficult for second-married couples to be of the same mind, especially when it comes to financial issues, they will be more clearly divided, because there will definitely be left behind in the previous marriage. The shadow of property disputes, money is a very important factor in marriage, and talking about money hurts the most feelings, so both parties will keep their hands on each other, and it is difficult to achieve complete trust.

3. Child issues

Blood relations can never be changed. If both parties have children, it is destined that the marriage will be difficult to be harmonious. It is impossible to be completely fair. Everyone has a selfish side. Once this degree cannot be grasped, Well, it is easy to cause a lot of contradictions.

4. Unconsciously comparing with the ex

In second-marriage families, people will always unconsciously compare the current person with the ex. When they find that the current person is not as good as the ex in some aspects, they often You will particularly regret your choice and lose confidence in your new marriage.

5. The degree of dependence on marriage is not high

Both of them care about themselves, live relatively independently, and do not have high expectations for marriage. No one is dependent on anyone, anyone can survive without anyone, and you can leave the marriage at any time.

Based on the above reasons, it is generally difficult for second-married families to be happy. In the final analysis, there is not enough trust, tolerance, and understanding. The two people have their own plans and cannot consider the entire family.

How can second-married couples be happy?

Two people who have had unhappy marriages and now get married again should learn from the experiences and lessons learned from the previous marriage so as to better manage the next marriage.

You must have confidence in yourself and your ability to achieve happiness. Temporary misfortune does not mean eternal misfortune.

Change your own character flaws, understand and take care of each other's feelings, cherish each other and treat each other honestly, be open and honest when encountering problems, and solve them on the table.

There is no perfect marriage in this world, only a decent marriage. Marriage is actually a cooperation, and everything is mutual.

Second marriage is not easy. You have already failed once, so you should cherish your second marriage even more. When you encounter problems, you must communicate well and solve them. Don't be reckless. Are second-married couples really not of one mind? 2

After divorce, remarrying is a second marriage. So, can second-married couples really be of the same mind? I am a person who has been there, and I want to tell you that very few people are of the same mind, and most of them have different intentions. It is very realistic to live together as a team.

As the saying goes: A married couple is always a thief. I agree with this sentence very much, because I am a woman who was divorced and remarried. After the remarriage, I took my 6-year-old son and remarried to a man who also had a son who was 2 years older than my son. .

We have an unfortunate marriage and both have the same experience. He is a career-oriented man, and his ex-wife was working as a full-time housewife at home. She met netizens behind his back and cheated on her. My ex-husband did something sorry to me when he was on a business trip with his colleagues at the company. He also told me that he went to the wrong room because he drank too much at a party. He asked me to forgive him for the sake of my children.

When I heard the reasons my ex-husband gave for cheating on me, I felt really funny. This kind of lie can only be found in TV dramas. I didn’t expect him to use it.

In this way, I got divorced and then remarried according to my parents’ advice. However, after remarrying, I did not feel very happy. Instead, I felt that I was living with a partner.

Although my second husband and I have the same experience, the two of us always sleep in the same bed, have different intentions, and feel very far apart.

My friend said that he and I should have another child of the same gender. Once we have a child of the same gender, there will be no distance between us. It’s not that I haven’t thought about it, but what he thinks I don’t want it anymore.

After all, we are raising sons, and he thinks that is enough. Besides, having one more child means more responsibility and responsibility. He doesn’t want to add any more burden to himself.

In this way, we don’t want to have a different child. He also said that my son is his son and will be treated as his own in the future, but I can see that my son is his. In his eyes, he is always an outsider.

Therefore, it is difficult for remarried couples to get into each other’s hearts. I admit that some second-married couples are truly in love and can be of one mind and understand and trust each other, but this is only a small part. Most second-married couples still live together and have different intentions, regardless of whether they are men or women.

I am self-sufficient here, writing some trivial emotions into words. There are things that have happened to you and things that have never happened. We are all alone. The beginning and the end are so lonely. I am very happy. meet you. Please pay attention!

Because he has always been unable to hold a bowl of water evenly. The money he earns every month is divided into two halves. One half is used for home use, and the other half is saved for his son, saying that he will keep it for him later. The son buys a car, a house, and a wife. In short, everything is reserved for his son.

He didn’t give anything to my son. I wanted him to buy a house for my son, but he didn’t want to. He said that my son was not his biological son. He couldn’t bear to buy a house for my son. Kan, I always feel like I’m plotting against him.

I don’t understand. My son calls him father no matter what. I help him take care of the house and take care of his two children every month without asking for anything in return. I never complain. Is all my efforts justified? As it should be?

He saw that I always brought this up and asked, “Am I plotting against him?” Asking me if I marry him, do I want him to buy a car and a house for my son and use him as an ATM? I really didn’t expect him to say such a thing. If he said that, would he treat me as a nanny who does laundry and cooking when he marries me?

It is said that divorce is about awakening, and remarriage is about stubbornness. I finally understand that remarried couples have different intentions. I want him to level a bowl of water, but it is really difficult. Except In addition, if something happens to my husband's family, I contribute money and effort. Whenever something happens to my mother's family, he doesn't care about it.

Now, we have nothing to say. Although we live together, we are just like strangers. He often plays tricks on me and doesn’t tell me anything. It seems that only in this way can he feel at ease with me. Live life.

Since we got married, I have been honest with him, trusted him, and wanted to develop a relationship with him, but he has never let go of his guard against me. My efforts seem to him to have ulterior motives. Let me ask, How can a couple who get along like this be of the same mind? Are second-married couples really not of the same mind? 3

xx said: The second marriage is really difficult. Even if they give birth to children, they don’t agree with each other. They guard each other. In this marriage, she was cautious almost every day, walking on thin ice, and was very afraid that her husband would not trust her because of some of her unintentional actions.

The most chilling thing for xx is the child brought by her remarried husband. No matter how good xx is to her, she will never get her approval. The stepdaughter often listens to the instigation of her biological mother, which creates a lot of misunderstandings between xx and her husband.

I used to think that as long as two people love each other, they can overcome many problems after marriage. But after remarrying and actually living together, I found that many practical problems could not be solved.

Therefore, during these years of remarriage, xx has been trying to avoid conflicts. Sometimes she tolerates where she can and gives in where she can. But in fact, her life was not happy at all.

xx said that although the current marriage is very difficult, I dare not impulsively divorce because I am already 42 years old. If I get divorced again, people who don’t know the real situation will say that she There is a problem.

In the center for first-time married couples, money can be handed over to another person for safekeeping without reservation. However, in remarried families, most couples live their own lives and keep their own money. that part of the money.

Many divorced men and women regard money as very important. Regarding the expenses at home, the two of us always calculate how much I pay, while the other party only pays how much.

It seems that everyone is wary of each other, fearing that the other party will get involved. xx said that sometimes some casual topics involve money, and her remarried husband will think too much about it.

It seems to be a problem of money, but in fact it is a problem of trust. It is difficult for remarried couples to have 100 trust in their spouse. You know, people who have experienced a failed marriage will leave numerous scars in their hearts.

They cannot and will not give their true feelings to another person completely, and it is difficult for them to believe in love. Therefore, it is difficult for two people to achieve even the most basic trust after remarriage.

When xx got married, she just hoped to have someone by her side. But when she got married for the second time, she found that the second marriage was really too complicated and even particularly difficult.

She said that if she were asked to choose again, she would never remarry, but now there was no turning back and she had no choice but to endure it.

Many people choose a second marriage not because they have met love again, but because they feel they have met a suitable person to share the troubles and sorrows of life and reduce their own burden.

Even if your stepson and stepdaughter are hostile to you, even if you want to accept him, do you have the patience to wait for him to accept you?

Marriage is not like playing house, unlike children playing with building blocks. After smashing them and putting them back together again, you can easily build a new home.

If possible, please do not divorce easily, let alone remarry easily. Because imagination is beautiful, reality is often harsh, and remarried couples often face many problems, which are unavoidable and difficult to deal with.

Especially in remarried families, children not only fail to be the glue of marriage, but become the source of quarrels and conflicts. Even if two people have identical children in the future, this kind of conflict of favoring one over the other is inevitable.

It’s not enough to rely on one person’s efforts to live a life. If you have this heart, he must also have that heart. Only by working hard in one place can you live a good and wonderful life. The reason why the relationship between husband and wife in remarried families is so difficult is that it is difficult for both husband and wife to be sincere.

Life after remarriage is often not as simple as one imagines. There is absolutely no way to avoid trivial matters. So don't get divorced easily, try to work harder, maybe the result will be very different.