Son, she wants a divorce. Don't stop her. Let her help us raise our children. We won't recognize our ancestors in the future. What happened afterwards?

Love is a matter for two people, and marriage is a matter for two families. Marriage is more suitable than love.

The concept of "matching the right family" has existed since ancient times, and ancient marriages were also carried out in strict accordance with this concept, which is why "parents' orders and matchmakers' words" came into being.

We generally believe that ancient marriages were unhappy, because they had no choice but to obey their parents' arrangements and had no happiness of their own.

In the eyes of most young people, freedom of love and marriage should not be advocated now, and this concept is a bit feudal and should be abandoned.

In fact, these people's ideas are also understandable. We can't change our origins, so everyone doesn't want to be treated unfairly because of their origins, especially in love and marriage. We long for equal and free love.

But the concept of "belonging to the family" has been passed down for thousands of years. I think this is not a feudal idea, but the crystallization of ancient wisdom, which is also applicable to modern society.

Whether two people are happy in marriage or not, I think family will affect 60% of happiness, while love between the two sides can only affect 40%.

In this regard, I believe some people have doubts: I married him, which has nothing to do with his parents. Besides, after we get married, we will move to a new house and not live with his parents. Why is family more important than the love of both parties?

As I said at the beginning-love is a matter for two people, and marriage is a matter for two families. When you decide to get married, your family is linked with another family.

Young people may not know this yet, but those who have experienced it should know that the harmonious relationship between husband and wife depends on the attitude of both family members towards you, although it is related to the emotional maintenance of both parties.

If the other parents are dissatisfied with you, their bad opinions about you will be continuously conveyed to your other half. In normal times, your partner may be firmly on this side.

But if you are quarreling, or if you don't trust each other, then your parents' "verbal abuse" will add fuel to the fire and aggravate the contradiction between you.

They might say something like, "I shouldn't have disobeyed my mother and married you home." Or "My father is right, you are really not a capable man." These words that don't deny each other and recognize their parents are tantamount to adding insult to injury.

If the other parents are more optimistic about you, when you have an argument, their praise is undoubtedly a timely help. "She is such a good girl, you are not good to her, and you are not afraid of her running away. Please apologize to her quickly. "

Therefore, if you want to have a happy marriage, you need to consider not only the other person's personality, but also the other person's family. Don't let Xiaolan's tragedy continue to repeat itself.

Xiaolan is my reader. She is 26 years old, divorced and has a newborn child. Originally, she had chosen a chic divorce, but because of her mother-in-law's words-"son, don't stop her from getting divorced, let her help us raise our children, and she won't recognize her ancestors in the future." This made her very sad.

Xiaolan often sighs: "At that time, I was still young and thought that it was enough for two people to love each other, so I didn't need to think too much. I even married him in spite of my parents' opposition. Now I'm reduced to family and I'm not going back. I was hanging out with my children. "

Xiaolan and her ex-husband Mr. Li met at a company party. Xiaolan was attracted by Mr. Li's handsome appearance at first sight, but most handsome guys have had several love experiences.

Mr. Li is no exception, and his company also has some bad rumors. However, Xiaolan, who is in a state of anthomaniac, ignored the dissuasion of her colleagues and pursued her ex-husband, saying that it was not Mr. Li's past. In this way, in the gossip of others, she and Mr. Li confirmed their love relationship.

Soon, she became pregnant, and Mr. Li promised her to give birth to the child and marry her home, but Xiaolan's parents did not agree to this marriage.

Although Xiaolan was pregnant, they thought that Mr. Li's previous breakup was irresponsible and worried that Xiaolan would get married. Xiaolan ignored her parents' opposition and went back to her hometown with Mr. Li to have a wedding.

Because Mr. Li's family conditions are average and there is no extra wedding room, Xiaolan has been living in her mother-in-law's house. "Before I married him, I knew his mother was not easy to get along with. But I feel that I already have the blood of their family. I feel that his mother should treat me well for the sake of her children. " But the reality is far beyond her imagination.

Xiaolan's family is relatively rich, which makes her develop the habit of spending money, while her mother-in-law is used to a hard life and is more economical.

For her, normal consumption is a waste of money in the eyes of her mother-in-law. Mother-in-law is very dissatisfied with her, even making things difficult for her when she is pregnant and doing housework. Instead of helping her, her husband stood on the same side as her mother-in-law and criticized her for being spoiled and unable to do housework at all.

After the baby was born, her mother-in-law changed her attitude and invited her for a month. But Xiaolan can see that her mother-in-law cares about her son, not her. Therefore, Xiaolan wants to take a divorce and take the children to coerce her mother-in-law to move out.

Mr. Li originally disagreed, but after her mother-in-law heard her threat, she said to Mr. Li lightly: "Son, don't stop her from getting divorced, let her help us raise our children, and she won't recognize her ancestors in the future." So Mr. Li agreed, and Xiaolan left this sad home with her children.

Xiaolan's ending is both regrettable and irritating. The reason why Bian Xiao mentioned Xiaolan's story is to let everyone know the influence of the other family on marriage.

Even if you love each other deeply, the other family has many problems, and the other parents don't recognize you. You need to think about this marriage carefully.

In fact, similar to Phoenix Man and Brother Zhu, they are daunting, not because of them, but because of their families.

I hope you don't blame your parents for the marriages that their parents oppose. After all, no parents don't want their children to have a happy marriage. Since they are against your marriage, they must have their reasons.

As a child, you should listen to your parents patiently. If you think their ideas are too narrow, or you misunderstand your partner. You need to re-examine the other half and let him prove himself to your parents. Only when your parents truly recognize him can your marriage be happy.

A truly happy marriage must be blessed and recognized by both families. And those who resolutely oppose their parents' marriage without considering the influence of family factors, mostly have no happy ending.