Funny copywriting to relieve worries

1. Rainy days are suitable for sleeping at home, sunny days are suitable for going out for a walk. In such a long time, there is not a single day suitable for going to work!

2. After you marry me, you can wash the dishes if you want and mop the floor if you want. Isn’t this free enough? Of course, pocket money still needs to be controlled.

3. Xiao Ming loves botany very much and dreams that one day he can become a plant. Later, a car accident makes his wish come true.

4. Marry a woman like me. Although it won’t cost you a fortune or a country, it will be enough to bankrupt you.

5. According to my observation, anyone who likes to say that success or failure is not measured by money has no money!

6. It is recommended that everyone try to go to bed early and get up early, do not play online games, do not eat midnight snacks, and develop good habits. Over time, you will find that you have no friends.

7. If you are unlucky, no matter where you sit while eating hot pot, the smoke will blow in your face.

8. If poverty limits your imagination, why can you still come up with so many ways to save money?

9. Do you think having money will make you as happy as you imagined? No, you are wrong. You can never imagine the happiness of rich people.

10. What is the pain that can be touched? Even though I feel like my stomach is full of hunger, there is still a lump of meat when I touch it.

11. In this ruthless age, if you want others to never forget you, the best way is to refuse to pay back the money you owe.

12. Many women suddenly understand what "father's love is like a mountain" after becoming mothers! Mountains usually just stay there and do nothing. They are beaten and beaten all the time.

13. Staying up late is because you don’t have the courage to end the day; staying in bed is because you are not mentally prepared to start the day.

14. Don’t show off your sweetness, don’t show off your happiness. Because common sense in physics tells us that drying easily loses moisture, and refrigeration is the best way to preserve freshness.

15. Jay Chou said that love is like a tornado. I think this metaphor is very appropriate, because most people, like me, will never see a tornado in their lifetime.

16. In life, first be laughed at by others, then laugh at others, and then you will be full of smiles.

17. I heard that ugly people should study more. No wonder my mother said that I was not good at studying since I was a child.

18. With the current rate of rising housing prices, I don’t expect to be able to afford an affordable house. I just hope that I can afford an affordable tomb when I grow old!

19. You don’t know how stingy my boyfriend is. He gave me a 0.25 red envelope on Valentine’s Day and told me to look at it upside down.

20. Men and dogs: Men at age 20 are like pugs, always talking sweet words; men at age 30 are like watchdogs, best at cooking and washing.

21. The most beautiful thing in the world is eating meat. Never betray, never cheat, eat a pound, grow a pound, and always treat each other sincerely.

22. Some people say that 99 things in the world can be solved with money, but what they fail to say is that solving the remaining 1 requires more money.

23. When I was a child, I thought that when I grew up, I would look back and smile. When he grows up, he looks back and smiles, Baimei's life is worse than death.

24. Those who have money and face are called male gods, those who have money but no face are called husbands, and those who have face but no money are called Lanyan. As for those who have no money and no face, I’m sorry you are a good person...ah, what a painful realization!

25. Many people have symptoms of nausea and retching when they get up early to brush their teeth. Scientific research has found that the most common characteristic of these people is that they like to look in the mirror.

26. After growing up, I have learned nothing else, but I have mastered a special skill. I can sleep without sleeping pills during the day, and I can be excited without stimulants at night.

27. When you are in a bad mood, you should chat with the aunts in the community. In less than a minute, you will know which building and which household the people are in are worse off than you. Instantly. So happy!

28. Life is like a dream, I always have insomnia; life is like a play, I always get in trouble; life is like a song, I always go out of tune; life is like a battlefield, I always get off track.

29. The two people who trust each other most in the world are high school teachers and junior high school teachers. Junior high school teacher: "This knowledge point will be taught by high school teachers", high school teacher: "This knowledge point, you The junior high school teacher should have talked about it."

30. When I went to eat hot pot, I saw a reminder on the wall of the hot pot restaurant that the sheep were raised by myself, the vegetables were grown by myself, and the oil was squeezed by myself, reminding customers to use it with confidence. When paying the bill, I quietly told the boss that I printed the money myself, so please feel free to use it. The boss chased me for several streets but failed to catch up. It's really interesting. I grew my own legs, so I can run wherever I want.