Essay "Clouds in Late Autumn"

In late autumn, the sky is high and the clouds are light.

A cloud, floating in the sky, elegant, gentle and flawless.

I looked at the clouds, so I heard her whisper. ...

I love you, daughter.

Watching you grow up all the way and make unremitting efforts, I am proud of you.

Since I had you, my heart has been connected with you.

I remember that my daughter walked at the nine-month conference, and my eyes were filled with tears of joy.

Remember, my daughter's mother, when she was ten months old, she made her first sound, which was my happiness.

Remember, my daughter who just turned one can read, which makes me very happy.

I remember that my daughter was admitted to Peking University, and I was very happy.

I remember my daughter hosting a TV program, and I saw a piece of jade.

Remember, my daughter has a husband, and I read your tenderness in your eyes.

Please remember that my daughter has a son, and I see the love in your heart.

Daughter, having a family, I am happy for you and have started a new concern.

My daughter is happy, I am happy, and my daughter is a little sad. I hold my heart.

You are the only one in my life. It was not until your father and I promised to take care of your children that I realized that my old body could not help my daughter, and my waist fell off, which became a burden for you and your father.

However, you two, one is more patient and gentle than the other, which makes my heart sweet and happy.

Accidents will happen.

My life and my illness are like a bolt from the blue. At first, I couldn't accept it. However, the facts are there. I realized that in a year and a half, I went in and out of the hospital 26 times. Every time my daughter whispers with me, I feel at ease. My eldest daughter became my mother's shoulder and my support. Who said there was no dutiful son three days before bed, and my daughter was in front of my long bed?

However, my daughter, every time you laugh, I can feel your sadness. Behind your smile, I can kiss salty tears.

Mom loves you and understands you.

I know that nine months after I recovered from my first serious illness, when my second illness came, my mother's limit had reached, and it was time for me to talk about death calmly.

Everyone loves life, what's more, I have a husband who knows how to be warm and cold, and such a smart and lovely daughter. This is also a kind of happiness, a blessing, and my wish to stay for an extra hour.

However, this is fate. There is nothing I can do about my illness. You and your father did everything they could. Medical technology is not enough to save my mother's life. I think I should face it frankly.

Everyone has the last moment to face this natural law, just like three meals and dinner a day, I have already eaten, although the night is not deep, I have seen the dim night …

I don't say I feel sorry. I also know that my ability is very small, but I have gained a lot. I walked happily in that piece of ink.

The last moment will come. I wish my daughter less tears and less sadness, and the simpler the arrangement of her mother's affairs, the better.

I have been afraid of being hated and falling in love all my life. I don't talk about scenes, and I don't want to show off. A small family and a small scope are enough.

There are no stereotypes in my life. It's good to have your little family and your father with me.

I don't care about burial and cremation, but I have a request to tell my daughter that I can't go back to my hometown, and neither can your father's hometown. My idea is to return to nature.

…………

Stay at my daughter's bedside and describe her thoughts. When I buy a house with a yard, I will plant my mother's favorite flowers, of course, your favorite roses. Let the flowers accompany mom. I will look at my mother's shadow in the flowers. ...

My daughter's words made me laugh.

I am the happiest person in the world.

Death is not terrible!

Daughter, live a good life, love your mother, and be willing to be the dirt in your yard and smile in the flowers you planted.

I wrote to my daughter. It's time to stop writing

………

The wind in late autumn is cool layer by layer, and the leaves fall off one by one. As I approached autumn, I saw the leaves fall to the ground, but I couldn't hear the sadness when they left.

Perhaps it is because there is a late autumn cloud floating in the distant sky, like a pair of eyes looking at the world. ...

In the afternoon of 20201October 17.