Happy jokes

A collection of happy jokes

A collection of happy jokes. Jokes are also the spices in our lives. Many people can take a look at such jokes when they are sad and depressed. It will help To ease our bad moods, here is a collection of happy jokes to share with you. Happy Joke 1

1. A bee fell in love with a mouse. The mother bee refused to agree and said: A girl is afraid of marrying the wrong man. She is short-sighted and you will suffer if you marry him. The mouse's mother also disagreed and said: "Son, all the nurses are dressed like angels in white. Look at her wearing a tiger skin outfit, it's so out of place."

2. A police dog met an ordinary dog ??on the road and asked: "Where are you from? Why haven't I seen you in the police station?" The ordinary dog ??replied: You are all positive people, we are all You went behind enemy lines and worked as an undercover agent, so you were sure of your success.

3. In order to keep cool in the summer, the puppy and kitten hung a rectangular box on the wall and closed the doors and windows. After a long time, the puppy said to the kitten: "Why is it still so hot?" The kitten: "It's strange, how can a box hung by humans make the temperature drop?"

4. Winter is very cold. , the puppy was afraid that the rooster would catch cold, so he moved an electric heater to keep the rooster warm. The rooster said: "Thank you, this is not possible. Its light is like the sun. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I will mistakenly think that it is dawn and it is time to crow." "

5. The little bear wanted to use a duster to dust off the dust. He heard that the rooster's feathers were very beautiful, so he happily went to the rooster to borrow some feathers from it. The rooster said arrogantly: "You have found the wrong person. I will not lend you my beautiful feathers." The little bear asked: "Why?" The rooster said: "Haven't you heard of the legend that the iron rooster never plucks a hair?"

6. A gecko was wandering around in the swamp. At this time, a crocodile crawled over from a distance, opening its big mouth to eat the gecko. The gecko suddenly got wise and hugged the crocodile's leg and shouted "Mom." "The old crocodile was stunned for a moment, took off his reading glasses and burst into tears: My child, don't stop doing beauty treatments and lose weight. Look how thin you have become.

7. Frog Joke: People say that you, a toad, want to eat swan meat and don’t even look at what you look like. The toad said: I have dreams. What do you know? You are a frog in a well.

8. A hen laid a particularly large egg. The reporter went to interview the hen and asked how it was laid. The hen lowered her head and said nothing. When the reporter asked the rooster, the rooster said angrily. : It’s so depressing, I have to beat the ostrich to death if I catch him!

9. Fox: It’s obviously high-end perfume, but they say it’s “body odor”. Pig: I have a cold, my nose feels bad, and I can’t smell anything. But if I don’t cover my nose when I pass by you, I’m afraid I’ll be stricken by you!

10. The weather is hot, puppy Lying on the floor trembling all over, the mother dog saw her and asked with concern: "Baby, are you sick?" The puppy said: "I found it was cool in the refrigerator, so I went in to escape the heat. I didn't expect it to be so cold inside. Almost frozen into popsicles. ”

11. The piglet and the chicken were playing in the forest, and suddenly they found a little tabby cat that was about to starve to death. The little pig said: "It's so pitiful, let's give it something to eat?" The chicken nodded: "Let's make it a bowl of preserved egg and lean meat porridge!" After hearing this, the little pig shook his head very excitedly: "How is that possible! You just contributed a by-product, but I have to risk my life!"

12. One day, the cat and his owner went fishing, and the earthworm family living by the pond was watching the fun. At this time, only Seeing the cat staring at the fish caught by its owner and jumping repeatedly, the earthworm son was very puzzled and asked his mother: What is the cat doing? Mother Earthworm said: Bounce, bounce, bounce away the crow's feet!!!

13 , Xiaoxia and Crab*** both entered the finals, and the scores were the same. In the end, according to their performance, Xiaoxia won the first place. The reason is very simple. Crab is too high-profile and always domineering, while Xiaoxia is very low-key and often... Bow and move forward.

14. The hen gave birth to a duck egg. The rooster was very angry and questioned the hen. The hen said aggrievedly: It’s all my fault. I love beauty too much. My mouth used to be flat, but I sharpened it to make it more beautiful. Mouthed.

Rooster:...

15. The lion and the bear defecated next to a tree respectively. A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his defecation was thicker than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes of life. ——Lion poop is better than bear poop!

16. "The forest held an animal talent show competition. The kitten performed plum blossom painting, the puppy performed housekeeping skills, the deer performed picking leaves from tall trees, and the piglet performed Read aloud, now familiar with the content. "

17. The owl became a justice, but soon he was forced to resign because of the reports from the animals, because during the day, he closed his eyes. He doesn't care about anything; at night, he turns a blind eye and still doesn't care about anything!

18. I searched east, west, south, north, and up. , I searched everywhere, but I couldn’t find my heart. Suddenly I realized that it had been stolen by you.

19. A middle-aged couple was taking a break and chatting. Wife: Husband, I heard from the news that an 18-year-old boy jumped off a building recently. It’s so puzzling! Husband: Do you think those born in the 1990s are making trouble? It’s fun!

20. A: Let me tell you good news. After a period of hard study, one of my essays was finally adopted by an evening newspaper. B: What article is it? A: A missing statement.

Happy jokes

1. There is a snake in the jungle that wraps around the trunk of a tree and eats sparrows. It likes to swallow the sparrows’ nests in one go. All the snakes felt very strange and asked why it wanted to eat Nestle. This snake rolled its eyes at the other snakes: "Didn't you hear what humans said?" Then it closed its eyes again as if it was full of aftertaste, and slowly exhaled. , and sighed: "Nescafe coffee tastes great!"

2. There was a young mosquito in the sky. The spider saw it and said: "Handsome guy, come to my house to have a rest." Said: "Is there anything interesting there?" The spider said: "Yes, I opened an Internet cafe, please come and surf the Internet!" After hearing this, the mosquito dived in.

3. Don’t play with rabbits. Be careful of getting pinkeye. Don’t play with spiders. They stay idle all day long on the Internet. Don’t play with pandas. Wear sunglasses. God knows if he is a good person. Don’t play with Cang Sheng. , the trouble of chirping silently all day long.

4. Animal remarks: Zebra: After eating grass all its life, I never thought that I would still be able to leave a photo on the city road. Earthworm: Working underground for a long time, there are more and more roads. Moth: I believe in me The way forward is bright. Python: Even at such an old age, it still cannot learn to take the right path. Owl: It’s a dark and windy night to catch mice!

5. A chicken laughed at the duck for being ugly. The duck said unhappily: "I am not as knowledgeable as a perverted chicken." The chicken said disdainfully: "You are not much better, aren't you just a duck who eats soft rice!"

6 , A group of animals gathered together to compare births. Gecko: "I am the most obese among crocodiles." Toad: "I am the most allergic among frogs." Octopus: "I am the innocent among squids."

7 When Mosquito reached the age of marriage, his mother said: "Find someone who is like a spider, at least he can do web work!" His father said: "Find someone who is like a bat, at least he is a pilot!" He flew over and said: "Solving the problem of food and clothing is the most important thing. Look at the person reading the text message, you can feast for the rest of your life!"

8. A woodpecker is catching insects from the big tree. , then a fox came up and said: "Beautiful Miss Woodpecker, can you give me a kiss?" The woodpecker said: "Can you kiss me as a meal?"

9. Animals engage in low-carbon environmental protection At the conference, Kangaroo said: "Every time I go shopping, I always bring my own reusable bag, and I never use plastic bags that pollute the environment."; Spider said: "Now in the low-carbon era, I rarely go online, and I concentrate on doing cross-stitch!"; Mosquito Chaos Pressing the silent firefly next to him, the firefly became angry and said, "What are you doing? I'm looking for the power switch to save electricity!"

10. The donkey and the pony are husband and wife and live together. After a lifetime, the little horse asked the donkey before he died: "Do you love me or not? Why have you never kissed me?" The donkey was heartbroken and said helplessly: "Oh! I love you, but my family has a house rule. 'A donkey's mouth is not a horse's mouth'!"

11. At the class reunion, the cat led the panda and introduced to everyone: "This is my child." Everyone screamed: "You married a bear. .

Seeing that the snake didn't have any children, the cat asked: "Why don't you take the children?" The snake said: "I have too many children and I don't know which one to take." "Everyone was puzzled, and the snake said shyly: "I married a mouse. "A nest of snakes and rats!" the crowd screamed wildly.

12. The nightingale sang beautifully, and the little donkey came to be his disciple. The nightingale refused without thinking, and the little donkey asked the nightingale angrily. Could it be: "You really don't have any talent for singing. It's said in the idiom dictionary that you will never change even if the donkey brays!"

13. On Christmas Day, Santa Claus came to the forest. With a long white beard, Santa Claus promised the animals in the forest to grant them a wish. The animals in the forest shouted in unison: "We want to go back ten million years ago!" Santa Claus asked in confusion: " Why?" All the animals in the forest pointed at the monkey on the tree and said, "Because we want to drive the apes out of the earth!"

14. A goose and a hen are together. Eggs were being sold at the market, and the hen shouted: Come and buy the double-yolked eggs. The goose was stupid, and it took a long time to say: "They are big." After shouting for a while, he found that everyone was buying the hen's eggs. The goose was confused and asked why. , the egg buyer said: Look, even if the eggs they sell are not double yolk eggs, at least they are the original ones, and they are "clicky"

15. Your round face is so white. , the curved eyebrows are so slender; the watery eyes are so bright, and the affectionate voice is so sweet: woof! woof! woof!

16. Roses are my passion, candy. It is my taste, the stars are my eyes, and the moonlight is my kiss. I give it to you, my love, Happy New Year! In my heart, you are the most beautiful.

17. Wife: Boss, one. A bottle of rice wine for my husband. Boss: Is one bottle enough? Your husband is famous for his drinking. Wife: It may not be enough for drinking, but one bottle should be enough for smashing.

18. Urgent. Reminder: There may be tornadoes in the near future, so be sure to carry two 10-kilogram dumbbells with you when you go out to avoid being swept away by the strong wind.

19. Those who move to a new home. On the first night, a man broke in in the dark and I couldn't resist. He stole all my belongings... Damn tomb robbers, they didn't cover the coffin when they left.

20. Mobile phone. Exposing it to the sun can recharge it, soaking it in water can prevent aging, and placing it in the toilet can prevent radiation. These are little-known secrets, and I don’t tell most people! Happy Joke 2

A collection of hilarious jokes:

1. A one-sentence resume: Eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, go to school, go to work, and marry a wife.

2. Bargaining skills for beauties: When bargaining, please act coquettishly.

3. There is a sheepherder who has never suffered from insomnia.

4. Only dead fish will drift with the tide.

5. Can cross the bridge safely. The only thing left is rice noodles...

6. Don’t think that the beginning of school means the beginning of pain. After working, you will know that every Monday is like the beginning of school.

7. At first, I thought it was due to irrational competition. Later I discovered that I was consuming irrationally. You can’t discount because of abortion. Just get pregnant.

8. The amount of information contained in a woman’s sentence “Actually what I want is very simple” is as much as the Encyclopedia Britannica

9. As long as you say, If you support domestic production, there will be tens of millions of supporters and complaints. But if you add the word "milk powder" after supporting domestic production, there will be only complaints.

10. The tears you shed are the water in your brain.

11. The heaviest burden in life is not work but boredom. I finally understand why Weibo and QQ are so popular.

Collection of happy jokes. Hilarious 2:

1. Flying down three thousand feet, what otaku would not waste paper. An Neng can bend her eyebrows and bend her waist to serve the powerful, who will she sleep with tonight?

2. I called my partner, and she answered the phone.

3. Not to mention that Big Gray Wolf has not eaten mutton for 5 years, Tom and Jerry’s cats have not eaten mice since 1940. . .

4. You are in my special care, but not among my recent visitors.

5. A chicken practiced for a thousand years and finally became a chicken essence, which turned out to be chicken essence on people’s dinner tables.

6. My ears are not trash cans. Don’t throw everything there.

7. The two biggest lies in life: I love you forever, but this dress makes you look slimmer.

8. The weather and the forecast are a quarrelsome couple: I am not very good at what you say.

9. The modern version of "Dream of Red Mansions" is: dividends, buying a house, and dreaming.

10. Fan'er, guilty two. It's just a matter of severity.

11. Question: What level do you need to have your own separate office with a large window and be able to scold a lot of people?

Answer: Doorman. Happy Joke 3

1. Help

In the post office lobby, an old lady walked up to a middle-aged man and said politely: "Sir, please help me write a postcard." Can you write the address on it?"

"Of course." The middle-aged man did as the old man asked.

"Thank you!" the old lady said again: "Write a short paragraph for me, okay?"

"Okay." The middle-aged man wrote as the old lady said. After they recovered, they asked with a smile: "Is there anything else that I can help with?"

"Well, there's just one more little thing." The old lady looked at the postcard and said, "Help me add another sentence at the bottom: Sorry for the illegible handwriting."

Enlightenment

If you refuse to help, people will hate you for a week; if the help is not perfect, you might as well...

2. Sad Story

Three people went to New York for vacation. They booked a suite on the 45th floor of a high-rise hotel.

One night, the elevator in the building broke down, and the attendant arranged for them to spend the night in the lobby.

After discussion, they decided to walk back to the room and agreed to take turns telling jokes, singing and telling stories to reduce the fatigue of climbing the stairs.

The jokes were told and the songs were sung. After finally climbing to the 34th floor, everyone felt exhausted.

"Okay, Peter, tell me a humorous story."

Peter said: "The story is not long, but it is extremely sad: I gave the key to the room Forgot in the hall. ”

Epiphany

We are miserable, so we are humorous; we are humorous, so we are happy.

3. Seduction

A British celebrity and a French woman were riding in the same box. The woman wanted to seduce the British man. After she lay down, she complained that she was cold. The husband gave her his quilt, but she still kept saying it was cold.

"How else can I help you?" the gentleman asked frustratedly.

"My mother always used her own body to keep me warm when I was a child."

"Miss, there is nothing I can do about this. I can't jump off the train to find your mother." ?”

Enlightenment

A man who understands style is a good man, and a man who doesn’t understand style is even better.