Lines from Private Soldier Sketch

Who is the psychopath? Here are all the lines:

I hope you will adopt them. Thank you

Li: Audience friends, Dabing and I bow to you here!

Zhao: Zhao Weiguo wishes you well!

Da: The cross talk we are talking about today is a new work of ours this year.

Li: That’s right!

Da: We present it to everyone as a New Year gift.

Li: I hope you like it, hahahahaha...

Zhao: The mobile phone in my hand is the latest product of our company. Today, as a Spring Festival reward, I will give it away for free!

Li: Everyone, it’s fun to listen to cross talk!

Zhao: Everyone, it’s so affordable to get a mobile phone!

Big: Friends who are willing to listen to cross talk, please give me a round of applause!

Zhao: If you want a mobile phone, shout out!

Li: Let me do this first...

Zhao: Do ??you want it? One, two, three...

Da, Li: Stop!

Li: You are causing trouble, right? What’s the point of causing trouble?

Zhao: What do you mean by ruining the place? I'm giving you a free mobile phone.

Da: Ah, you mean your mobile phone is free.

Zhao: That’s right!

Large: It’s free.

Zhao: Hey.

Big: Friends, this is a liar!

Li: Everyone, don’t be fooled!

Zhao: What is a liar? Hey, a truly free mobile phone.

Big: How do you do it for free?

Li: Tell me.

Zhao: This phone is not only free, but also responsible for all phone bills. If you hit too little, you’ll be fined; if you hit too much, we’ll reward you.

Li: Oh, please explain it more clearly.

Zhao: Let me tell you, even if you make international long distance calls 24 hours a day

Li: How about it?

Zhao: We also waive all orders.

Li: Do you have a number?

Zhao: Of course.

Li: What’s the number?

Zhao: 7417417474741

Li: Huh?

Zhao: You can remember it like this: I will make you angry to death, I will make you angry to death, I will make you angry to death, I will make you angry to death.

Li: Why are you so angry with me?

Zhao: This one, catch it...

Da: Hey, hey, don't worry. , everyone, don’t worry. I am a kind person.

Li: Yes!

Da: I am a real person.

Li: I can see it.

Da: I am a brave person.

Li: That’s right.

Da: This is obviously a scam.

Li: Yes.

Da: I can’t watch everyone being deceived.

Li: What should we do?

Da: Let’s do this, let me do the trick. Let me take it.

Li: I’m so mad at you.

Da: I’d rather be mad at you than mad at me.

Li: What do you want this for?

Zhao: I wish you a pleasant call! goodbye!

Big: Come back!

Zhao: What are you doing?

Da: Do you really think I am two hundred and fifty?

Zhao: What do you mean?

Da: It’s so lively, why don’t you ask for money? You have to sign a contract for me.

Li: OK!

Da: Give it to me! Give me!

Li: It’s fake. Are you feeling guilty?

Zhao: What’s fake? Our company has some small conditions.

Li: What, tell me.

Zhao: I’m worried that you won’t be able to accept it.

Li: Hey, tell me.

Zhao: When making calls on this phone, advertisements sometimes appear.

Li: Advertisement?

Zhao: You have to listen.

Li: Listen to advertisements?

Da: Let me tell you, I grew up listening to advertisements, and now I never listen to advertisements.

Li: How is it?

Da: I will catch a cold.

Zhao: What is this disease?

Zhao: You must ensure that you make 8 hours of phone calls every day, and there will be no fines.

Da: I have to fight for 18 hours, can’t you give me money?

Zhao: So smart. The phone cannot be damaged, and the damage must be compensated.

Li: Yes, you still have to pay for it.

Da: Let me tell you, if a piece of paint falls off on this phone, I will compensate his father to you.

Li: Huh? Pay compensation to my father?

Big: Pay compensation to my father!

Li: No need!

Zhao: Why do I need so many dads? ah! ah!

Li: This is the deed of sale. This is it.

Big: Once signed, the black and white words cannot escape. Yes, let’s find a place to get the injection.

Zhao: Injection? See you in a month!

Li: Hey, hey, you’re going to make me mad.

Zhao: Why, you want it too?

Li: Of course!

Zhao: Not so much!

Li: I also like to listen to advertisements.

Zhao: That won’t work.

Big: I want to take advantage of everything. Can I get through for free? First, let me call my wife who is plumper than Concubine Yang to tell her the good news. Hey, it worked. Hello?

Li: Hello?

Big; dear.

Li: Who do you call dear?

Big: I call you dear.

Li: I...

Da: Dear, MUA, MUUUA, MUUUUUA

Li: You stinking hooligan!

Big: Don’t worry, don’t worry, wife, it’s me, your husband is a soldier.

Li: Oh, it’s Bingbing. Bingbing, why did you choose such an unlucky number?

Da: I was about to tell you the good news. I just picked up a free phone number.

Li: Bingbing, how many times have I told you that you need to go to the hospital for a good check-up.

Big: Why should I go to the hospital to check if I have nothing to do?

Li: Look, last year you picked up a free electricity meter. After installing it, the word ran faster than Liu Xiang. Last month, you picked up a free refrigerator, put an egg in it the first day, and six pullets hatched out the next day. Today, you picked up this free phone number again. Bingbing, are your symptoms of neurosis getting more and more serious?

Big: You are mentally ill.

Li: You are mentally ill.

Big: You are mentally ill.

Li: I...

Guang: Are you mentally ill? Do you need to see a doctor?

Da: Hey, this advertisement is here.

Guang: Our hospital is internationally certified by WCC and specializes in treating various mental illnesses. Contact number: 7474741.

Big: Why is this number so similar to mine?

Li: Bingbing, you asked me to see a psychopath.

Da: It’s not what I said. This is an advertisement on the phone.

Li: What advertisements can there be on the phone?

Da: How about calling it a toll-free number? He was told that the advertisement must be listened to to the end, and if I hit him less, he would get angry, and if I hit him more, he would reward me.

Li: Bingbing, how can you make me happy by treating me like a fool?

Guang; Foolish broad beans, the more you eat them, the funnier they become!

Li: Keep teasing me!

Guang: Acne anti-acne cream, fight acne to the end!

Li: Oops! Bingbing, you are so mad at me!

Big: Don’t be angry, wife, that’s an advertisement!

Li: What kind of advertisement?

Da: These are just two advertisements.

Li: Bingbing, I can’t live with you in a life like this!

Guang: Do you want a divorce?

Li: Huh?

Guang: Do you want to start a new life?

Li: I think!

Guang: Then please come to the divorce agency where couples are divorced one by one, and no one will remarry!

Da, Li: Oops!

Big: Why is my advertisement so unethical?

Li: Bingbing, you have found everything! Tomorrow morning, I will divorce you!

Big: Ouch, hey, hey, wife, hello, hello?

Da: No, my wife misunderstood. Last year, he said he wanted to divorce me, so he quickly called my mother-in-law to explain. Hello?

Li: Who is it?

Big: Mom, it’s me, your son-in-law, Soldier.

Li: It’s a soldier. What’s wrong? Did the couple quarrel?

Da: There was no quarrel.

Li: How can you get divorced without a quarrel?

Da: Don’t listen to her, that’s a misunderstanding!

Li: It’s a misunderstanding, okay, okay, I’m relieved if you say that.

Da: Don’t worry, I’m just calling you to wish you a happy New Year.

Li: Thank you.

Da: I wish you a happy new year...

Li: How is it?

Guang: Fever and cold, weakness in limbs, back pain, cold hands and feet.

Li: Bingbing, I didn’t curse you.

Guang: Please use the new medicine—Stretching Legs and Staring Eye Pills.

Li, Da: Oops!

Li: Bingbing, you are cursing me!

Big: Don’t be angry, I am, that’s an advertisement.

Li: Well, advertising, you see my body is so good that it makes me sick.

Guang: Do you have stomach pain, bloating, or stomach cramps?

Li: My stomach doesn’t hurt!

Guang: Do you have a headache, dizziness, or head cramps?

Li: I’m not dizzy.

Guang: Do you have urgent urination, frequent urination or cramps?

Li: Do you still have urinary cramps?

Guang: Please use chili diapers, one pants holds 4 pants!

Li, Da: Oops!

Da: Can you stop your advertisement for a while? Mom, are you okay?

Li: I’m fine. Tomorrow morning, let our daughter divorce you!

Big: This old lady!

Big: My father-in-law called! Hurry and explain to the old man.

Big: Hello, Dad.

Li: Don’t call me dad, I don’t have a dad like you at all!

Da: Huh?

Li: Wrong! I don’t have an uncle like you at all!

Big: Oh dad, don’t be angry and listen to my explanation!

Li: Why are you explaining to me? If you make your mother angry, I will risk my life with you!

Guang: Tyson brand boxing gloves are effective with one punch, and your teeth will fall off after two punches!

Li: Good boy, you want to use force with me, okay, I'll find someone who can do it...

Guang: Do you need a kitchen knife? Hemp seed kitchen knife, extremely sharp!

Li: Oh, you want to go under the knife with me!

Big: Dad, how dare I use a knife with you here! I want to treat you to dinner!

Li: You’ve made me so angry, what can you treat me to?

Guang: Powerful rat poison, one pill is effective!

Li: Good boy, you have to give me medicine to die. Who is this uncle? I'll go to the police station and sue you! Wow————

Big: Dad, Dad!

Da: I know that good products are not cheap, and good products are not cheap! Whoever you call for free will offend whomever you call. Just turn off my phone!

Machine: This mobile phone reminds you: If you don’t play for 8 hours today, you will be fined 100,000 yuan!

Big: I...

Machine: This mobile phone reminds you: If you damage the mobile phone, you will have to compensate Dad.

Big: Let’s keep fighting.

Big: Hello, sister-in-law, I am your brother-in-law. Why can’t you hear that I am your brother-in-law? Not a widow but a brother-in-law. It's all my fault...Help!

Guang: If you want to be in good health, use Xiaobao in the morning and evening. Xiaobao will be seen every day, Xiaobao will be seen every day! ...

Zhao: A month has passed. Let me see how the person who used the toll-free number is doing now.

Teacher Zhao Jin Dou, have you seen the soldiers?

Li: Soldier, I haven’t seen you for more than a month!

Where is Zhao?

Li: I’ll look for it, I’ll look for it.

Li, Zhao: Hey, here we come!

Da: Take a sip of the long-lasting wine...

Zhao: We have another volunteer advertising promoter!

Zhao: Hi, are you okay?

Da: I won’t get sick during the Chinese New Year this year. If I don’t get sick, I won’t get sick. If I get sick, I’ll take Diazepam. An Tong Ding, An Tong Ding, An Tong Ding...

Zhao: Soldier, how do you feel about the free call?

Big: It’s great, it feels like flying!

Zhao: Is your phone okay?

Da: Who knows whether a mobile phone is good or not?

Zhao: This hair needs to be washed!

Big: Yes, it will be healthier to wash yourself.

Li: Look, they’re all standing up!

Da: I choose, I like it.

Li, Zhao: Why?

Da: It’s good to be a woman

Answer: etinky - Magician Level 5 3-16 12:54

Li: Audience friends, I He and the soldiers are here to bow to you!

Zhao: Zhao Weiguo wishes you well!

Da: The cross talk we are talking about today is a new work of ours this year.

Li: That’s right!

Da: We present it to everyone as a New Year gift.

Li: I hope you like it, hahahahaha...

Zhao: The mobile phone in my hand is the latest product of our company. Today, as a Spring Festival reward, I will give it away for free!

Li: Everyone, it’s fun to listen to cross talk!

Zhao: Everyone, it’s so affordable to get a mobile phone!

Big: Friends who are willing to listen to cross talk, please give me a round of applause!

Zhao: If you want a mobile phone, shout out!

Li: Let me do this first...

Zhao: Do ??you want it? One, two, three...

Da, Li: Stop!

Li: You are causing trouble, right? What’s the point of causing trouble?

Zhao: What do you mean by ruining the place? I'm giving you a free mobile phone.

Da: Ah, you mean your mobile phone is free.

Zhao: That’s right!

Large: It’s free.

Zhao: Hey.

Big: Friends, this is a liar!

Li: Everyone, don’t be fooled!

Zhao: What is a liar? Hey, a truly free mobile phone.

Big: How do you do it for free?

Li: Tell me.

Zhao: This phone is not only free, but also responsible for all phone bills. If you hit too little, you’ll be fined; if you hit too much, we’ll reward you.

Li: Oh, please explain it more clearly.

Zhao: Let me tell you, even if you make international long distance calls 24 hours a day

Li: How about it?

Zhao: We also waive all orders.

Li: Do you have a number?

Zhao: Of course.

Li: What’s the number?

Zhao: 7417417474741

Li: Huh?

Zhao: You can remember it like this: I will make you angry to death, I will make you angry to death, I will make you angry to death, I will make you angry to death.

Li: Why are you so angry with me?

Zhao: This one, catch it...

Da: Hey, hey, hey, don't worry. , everyone, don’t worry. I am a kind person.

Li: Yes!

Da: I am a real person.

Li: I can see it.

Da: I am a brave person.

Li: That’s right.

Da: This is obviously a scam.

Li: Yes.

Da: I can’t watch everyone being deceived.

Li: What should we do?

Da: Let’s do this, let me do the trick. Let me take it.

Li: I’m so mad at you.

Da: I’d rather be mad at you than mad at me.

Li: What do you want this for?

Zhao: I wish you a pleasant call! goodbye!

Big: Come back!

Zhao: What are you doing?

Da: Do you really think I am two hundred and fifty?

Zhao: What do you mean?

Da: It’s so lively, why don’t you ask for money? You have to sign a contract for me.

Li: OK!

Da: Give it to me! Give me!

Li: It’s fake. Are you feeling guilty?

Zhao: What’s fake? Our company has some small conditions.

Li: What, tell me.

Zhao: I’m worried that you won’t be able to accept it.

Li: Hey, tell me.

Zhao: When making calls on this phone, advertisements sometimes appear.

Li: Advertisement?

Zhao: You have to listen.

Li: Listen to advertisements?

Da: Let me tell you, I grew up listening to advertisements, and now I never listen to advertisements.

Li: How is it?

Da: I will catch a cold.

Zhao: What is this disease?

Zhao: You must ensure that you make 8 hours of phone calls every day, and there will be no fines.

Da: I have to fight for 18 hours, can’t you give me money?

Zhao: So smart. The phone cannot be damaged, and the damage must be compensated.

Li: Yes, you still have to pay for it.

Da: Let me tell you, if a piece of paint falls off on this phone, I will compensate his father to you.

Li: Huh? Pay compensation to my father?

Big: Pay compensation to my father!

Li: No need!

Zhao: Why do I need so many dads? ah! ah!

Li: This is the deed of sale. This is it.

Big: Once signed, the black and white words cannot escape. Yes, let’s find a place to get the injection.

Zhao: Injection? See you in a month!

Li: Hey, hey, you’re going to make me mad.

Zhao: Why, you want it too?

Li: Of course!

Zhao: Not so much!

Li: I also like to listen to advertisements.

Zhao: That won’t work.

Big: I want to take advantage of everything. Can I get through for free? First, let me call my wife who is plumper than Concubine Yang to tell her the good news. Hey, it worked. Hello?

Li: Hello?

Big; dear.

Li: Who do you call dear?

Big: I call you dear.

Li: I...

Da: Dear, MUA, MUUUA, MUUUUUA

Li: You stinking hooligan!

Big: Don’t worry, don’t worry, wife, it’s me, your husband is a soldier.

Li: Oh, it’s Bingbing. Bingbing, why did you choose such an unlucky number?

Da: I was about to give you the good news. I just picked up a free phone number.

Li: Bingbing, how many times have I told you that you need to go to the hospital for a good check-up.

Big: Why should I go to the hospital to check if I have nothing to do?

Li: Look, last year you picked up a free electricity meter. After installing it, the word ran faster than Liu Xiang. Last month, you picked up a free refrigerator, put an egg in it the first day, and six pullets hatched out the next day. Today, you picked up this free phone number again. Bingbing, are your symptoms of neurosis getting more and more serious?

Big: You are mentally ill.

Li: You are mentally ill.

Big: You are mentally ill.

Li: I...

Guang: Are you mentally ill? Do you need to see a doctor?

Da: Hey, this advertisement is here.

Guang: Our hospital is internationally certified by WCC and specializes in treating various mental illnesses. Contact number: 7474741.

Big: Why is this number so similar to mine?

Li: Bingbing, you asked me to see a psychopath.

Da: It’s not what I said. This is an advertisement on the phone.

Li: What advertisements can there be on the phone?

Da: How about calling it a toll-free number? He was told that the advertisement must be listened to to the end, and if I hit him less, he would get angry, and if I hit him more, he would reward me.

Li: Bingbing, how can you make me happy by treating me like a fool?

Guang; Foolish broad beans, the more you eat them, the funnier they become!

Li: Keep teasing me!

Guang: Acne anti-acne cream, fight acne to the end!

Li: Oops! Bingbing, you are so mad at me!

Big: Don’t be angry, wife, that’s an advertisement!

Li: What kind of advertisement?

Da: These are just two advertisements.

Li: Bingbing, I can’t live with you in a life like this!

Guang: Do you want a divorce?

Li: Huh?

Guang: Do you want to start a new life?

Li: I think!

Guang: Then please come to the divorce agency where couples are divorced one by one, and no one will remarry!

Da, Li: Oops!

Big: Why is my advertisement so unethical?

Li: Bingbing, you have found everything! Tomorrow morning, I will divorce you!

Big: Ouch, hey, hey, wife, hello, hello?

Da: No, my wife misunderstood. Last year, he said he wanted to divorce me, so he quickly called my mother-in-law to explain. Hello?

Li: Who is it?

Big: Mom, it’s me, your son-in-law, Soldier.

Li: It’s a soldier. What’s wrong? Did the couple quarrel?

Da: There was no quarrel.

Li: How can you get divorced without a quarrel?

Da: Don’t listen to her, that’s a misunderstanding!

Li: It’s a misunderstanding, okay, okay, I’m relieved if you say that.

Da: Don’t worry, I’m just calling you to wish you a happy New Year.

Li: Thank you.

Da: I wish you a happy new year...

Li: How is it?

Guang: Fever and cold, weakness in limbs, back pain, cold hands and feet.

Li: Bingbing, I didn’t curse you.

Guang: Please use the new medicine—Stretching Legs and Staring Eye Pills.

Li, Da: Oops!

Li: Bingbing, you are cursing me!

Big: Don’t be angry, I am, that’s an advertisement.

Li: Well, advertising, you see my body is so good that it makes me sick.

Guang: Do you have stomach pain, bloating, or stomach cramps?

Li: My stomach doesn’t hurt!

Guang: Do you have a headache, dizziness, or head cramps?

Li: I’m not dizzy.

Guang: Do you have urgent urination, frequent urination or cramps?

Li: Do you still have urinary cramps?

Guang: Please use chili diapers, one pants holds 4 pants!

Li, Da: Oops!

Da: Can you stop your advertisement for a while? Mom, are you okay?

Li: I’m fine. Tomorrow morning, let our daughter divorce you!

Big: This old lady!

Big: My father-in-law called! Hurry and explain to the old man.

Big: Hello, Dad.

Li: Don’t call me dad, I don’t have a dad like you at all!

Da: Huh?

Li: Wrong! I don’t have an uncle like you at all!

Big: Oh dad, don’t be angry and listen to my explanation!

Li: What are you explaining to me? If you make your mother angry, I will risk my life with you!

Guang: Tyson brand boxing gloves are effective with one punch, and your teeth will fall off after two punches!

Li: Good boy, you want to use force with me, okay, I'll find someone who can do it...

Guang: Do you need a kitchen knife? Hemp seed kitchen knife, extremely sharp!

Li: Oh, you want to go under the knife with me!

Big: Dad, how dare I use a knife with you here! I want to treat you to dinner!

Li: You have made me so angry, what can you treat me to?

Guang: Powerful rat poison, one pill is effective!

Li: Good boy, you have to give me medicine to die. Who is this uncle? I'll go to the police station and sue you! Wow————

Big: Dad, Dad!

Da: I know that good products are not cheap, and good products are not cheap! Whoever you call for free will offend whomever you call. Just turn off my phone!

Machine: This mobile phone reminds you: If you don’t play for 8 hours today, you will be fined 100,000 yuan!

Big: I...

Machine: This mobile phone reminds you: If the mobile phone is damaged, Dad will be compensated.

Big: Let’s keep fighting.

Big: Hello, sister-in-law, I am your brother-in-law. Why can’t you hear that I am your brother-in-law? Not a widow but a brother-in-law. It's all my fault...Help!

Guang: If you want to be in good health, use Xiaobao morning and night. See Xiaobao every day. See Xiaobao every day! ...

Zhao: A month has passed. Let me see how the person who used the toll-free number is doing now.

Teacher Zhao Jin Dou, have you seen the soldiers?

Li: Soldier, I haven’t seen you for more than a month!

Where is Zhao?

Li: I’ll look for it, I’ll look for it.

Li, Zhao: Hey, here we come!

Da: Take a sip of the long-lasting wine...

Zhao: We have another volunteer advertising promoter!

Zhao: Hi, are you okay?

Da: I won’t get sick during the Chinese New Year this year. If I don’t get sick, I won’t get sick. If I get sick, I’ll take Diazepam. An Tong Ding, An Tong Ding, An Tong Ding...

Zhao: Soldier, how do you feel about the free call?

Big: It’s great, it feels like flying!

Zhao: Is your phone okay?

Da: Who knows whether a mobile phone is good or not?

Zhao: This hair needs to be washed!

Big: Yes, it will be healthier to wash yourself.

Li: Look, they’re all standing up!

Da: I choose, I like it.