Need some jokes

I suddenly had a stomachache at work and ran to the toilet. I just took off my pants and farted. I found that I didn't bring any toilet paper, so I had to put on my pants and run out to get the paper. Then a buddy in the pit next door said, "This quality is really awesome. I have to fart in the toilet. "

1. The son said to his father, "Dad, there is a band in our school and I want to join it. The school also said that I should bring my own musical instrument. " The father stared at his son for a long time, handed a chopstick and said, "Son, our family is poor. Can you try to be a conductor?"

2. The modern history teacher said: "After Liang Qichao/Kloc-married at the age of 0/7, he thought that the years passed peacefully until he met Kang Youwei." It always feels weird!

3. Just as I was screening my resume, I saw a resume of graduate students' award-winning experience: I won the Master Kong "One more bottle" award many times during my school days.

4. Teacher: "Please turn the sentence" The horse ran away "into a question." Student: "Can a horse run?" Teacher: "Correct! Very good! Now turn it into an imperative sentence. " Student: "Drive!"

Someone went to the northeast on business and asked for beer in the restaurant. The waiter asked, room temperature or cold storage? Some people angered, you still let me drink frozen food in this cold weather? ! The waiter calmly said that the room temperature is-15, and the refrigeration is-1.

6. They are deskmates and have a good relationship. One day A was ill, and B went out with him and then came back together. Entering the school gate, the uncle who was the doorman kindly asked, "Are you gay?" They petrified on the spot, and a cold wind blew ... and said with a wronged face, "Uncle, I like women." Now it's uncle's turn to be wronged. B it took three seconds to react. Grandpa asked, "How old are you?"

7. "Xiansen, please give me a finger-sucking egg-flavored ultra-thin shredded vegetable iron plate Q cake, with wheat crisp cake and more special Mexican pepper stew." "hmm? Speak human words! " "Let's set pancake fruit and put more peppers."

8. Nietzsche went to an interview, and the interviewer asked, "What's your name?" "Nietzsche." "Guess you are grandma! Next! "

9. When crossing the road, I met a red light. My friend wants to move on. I stopped him: "Wait for the light, wait for the light!" " My friend turned to me with disdain and said, "Only you have Intel!

10. When I was in college, a teacher asked me to fill out a very important form and declared that each person had one, and there was nothing extra and it could not be altered. A buddy came up to fill it out, only to find that the gender column was filled with the national "Han nationality". He thought about it and added a word "Zi" after "Han".