Praise program jokes

1, hilarious anecdote: A buddy came to the burn ward of the hospital and saw my feet wrapped in a thick gauze. He was surprised and said, "Shit, why is it so serious?" I sighed helplessly and said, "Oh, what a shame to say this!" The water boiled in the morning, and my mother asked me to put it in a thermos. When I opened the kettle, I found a fly on my foot. I didn't know if I didn't wake up or something, so I poured boiling water on the flies and wanted to burn them, and then it was tragic ... "

2. Campus joke: In biology class, the teacher asked, "Why is the body cold after death?" The students looked at each other and then shook their heads to show that they didn't know. The teacher asked again, "Does no one really know?" At this time, Xiao Ming in the back row stood up and replied back and forth: "That's because the mind is calm, and naturally it's cold!" "

3. Folk joke: hold a party, and our program is the chorus "We are all a family". Before taking the stage, my brother encouraged everyone to say, "You should be as calm as me, and don't be nervous." As a result, more than a dozen people took to the stage with neat steps. The elder brother personally announced: "Let's present a chorus for everyone. The title of the song is "We are all human beings"! "

4. Campus joke: The ringtone of a female classmate in the class is the cry of a baby. One day, she went to the toilet at school, and her stool was very dry and she didn't come out for a long time. Suffering from it, she shouted loudly: "Eh ~ Ah ~!" At this moment, the mobile phone suddenly rang ... then, this female classmate became famous. ...

5. Campus joke: One classmate in our class quarreled with another classmate today. Classmate A said, "Do you believe that I hit your father? ! "classmate b said," don't believe it! " Then I saw this wonderful idiot classmate slap himself with a smile ... classmate B looked blank. ......

6. Folk joke: Once I went to a restaurant for dinner, three people next to me ordered three more portions of pig brain soup because of the people in the store. So the waiter shouted, "pig brain, pig brain, three pig brains!" " What is important is that the three people said in unison, "Here we are, here we are, here we are! " "

7. Folk joke: B has many pimples on his face. A: "I recommend an old Chinese doctor to you. He said that he has a secret recipe from his ancestors, which is specially used to treat acne! " "b:" it's definitely useless! "A:" How do you know it's useless if you don't try? "B:" Dad once told me that my acne is an ancestral acne, and I specialize in treating old Chinese medicine practitioners! ""A: "..."

8. Cold joke: Teachers often teach students not to laugh when they see other people's shortcomings and misfortunes. One day, Xiaoming said to his teacher, "Today, a child fell into a puddle on campus. Everyone laughed, but I didn't. " The teacher praised, "You did the right thing. Then who fell into the puddle?" Xiao Ming replied, "It's me ..."

9. Campus joke: In today's geography class, a girl didn't attend class and secretly put on makeup underneath ... The teacher found out and walked up to her and asked, "Can you describe your face with two place names?" The girl racked her brains and didn't come up with it, so she asked the teacher what it was. The teacher replied, "Dalian, Taiyuan!" " "

10, folk joke: I went out for a walk this afternoon and saw a buddy squatting on the side of the road shouting: No.7, No.7 is running ahead! Six is in hot pursuit! Oh, No.3 is overtaking fast, and it will overtake soon! Number three, number three ... I thought he was watching the horse race on his mobile phone. In the past, he was stunned by thunder on the spot. These idiots are watching ants move. ...