I have a mother-in-law, who can't read and learn to do things, which leads to various problems for her children. What should I do?

I can read between your lines how much you don't like your mother-in-law! No matter how illiterate and incompetent she is, she is still your husband's mother. Since you have chosen your husband, she is your mother. Therefore, for the elders, we should have at least respect and don't look down upon them.

When I first came, my mother-in-law really couldn't do anything else, but the child had to change a lot of clothes a day, and she always rushed to wash them because I washed all the children's clothes by hand. Although I only washed clothes, I saw that she had tried her best, and I was worried that she could do nothing else. Although it seems that I only wash clothes for my children, I can help me hold my children and coax them, so that I have time to cook a soup and make a delicious dish to supplement my body, or when my baby is good, I can easily go out to buy food without taking the children. In fact, it is much less stressful than taking care of the children yourself. At least I can eat on time. If the mother eats well, the children will have nutrition and milk to drink. What impressed me most before she came was that I didn't eat the first meal of the day until three o'clock in the afternoon.

After a long time, I learned to do some other simple housework. Now the child is two years old, and grandma is basically taking care of him during the day. Sleep with grandma at night, too The child slept with his grandmother when he was only ten months old, because the old man wanted us to sleep soundly.

Old people may not know much, but everything they say and do is for our good. If you put aside your prejudice against the elderly and try your best to understand it, you will find that every grandmother wants her grandson and son to be well and wants to help you more. I feel very touched that my mother-in-law has this heart. As for how much I can help you, just do my best. Don't drive the ducks to the shelves, and don't be too harsh on this issue that is beyond our reach. Always be grateful, and with eyes that appreciate beauty, you will find that every mother-in-law is an amazing person.

This problem is easy to solve, just bring it yourself. If you are not satisfied with the old man's belt, bring it yourself; If you let the elderly bring it, you have to bear that what the elderly bring does not meet your standards. Raising children is your own business, and children come for you. If you give your artificial hand to the elderly, you should not expect perfection, because there is no way to achieve perfection.

It is often heard that people who are in conflict or even divorced with their children have a wrong cognition that their mother-in-law should take care of their children. Excuse me, it is an obligation to support the elderly. I heard that it is an obligation for the elderly to take care of their grandchildren.

Of course it can't be responsibility.

Many old people are bound by traditional ideas and think that grandma should take care of the children, otherwise the neighbors will laugh and the daughter-in-law will not. That is my mother-in-law. She doesn't want to take care of the children, but she doesn't think it makes sense.

At the end of the month, she didn't come until I gave birth to the baby. Left after giving birth to the moon. Because of some unhappiness, my husband told me that my mother-in-law didn't want to come at all. I was very angry, very angry with my husband. Since my mother-in-law didn't want to come, he should have told me directly, and then we would have invited Yue Yue, but he lied to my face that her mother-in-law wanted to come.

My own mother, who is also a very traditional woman, thinks it is an obligation and a responsibility to take care of her grandson.

No matter what the old people think, as us, we should not think that the old people should help us with our children. If you don't think so, you won't care about some problems and there will be fewer contradictions.

Kochi's mother-in-law, we don't expect anything Ordinary us are also facing ordinary mother-in-law. Without any culture, I may never go out to work, but I have paid at home. The age they lived in led to a great gap with us. I want to ask, how many people have never had conflicts with their parents?

It is not her fault that the subject's mother-in-law can't read. Can't do things? Cooking and housework. I've done a lot for you at home. You just need to take care of the children. Isn't this helping you?

I don't know how old children are. I don't know what your family conditions are like. If the child has gone to school, the child goes to school during the day, and the old man is responsible for the shuttle. After work, you take care of the child's study.

If your children haven't gone to school yet, you can ask your mother-in-law to take them to early education. Old people will learn how to take care of their children in early education centers. That's what my mother did.

At first, I was very opposed. I think early education is a waste of money. Nowadays, taking children to play at home is all about what teachers teach. If offline early education is too expensive, you can also choose online, and you can buy a one-year course for less than 1000 yuan. You can teach the old man how to watch videos, and then let him take the children to play.

If your mother-in-law, like my mother, can't make a phone call, then you can finish learning by yourself and tell her orally.

I believe there are old people in this world who don't think about their children. Because there are such old people around, I dare not say that every mother-in-law can get along well.

If there is really no way to get along with each other, and I don't want to spend my mind and energy to manage the relationship with my mother-in-law, I think it's nothing. Be friendly and respect each other. Take care of your life and your children.

Maybe you will give up your job, maybe you will make a lot of sacrifices, which we must bear because we have to take care of a small life. Besides, the child was born by yourself, and it is the responsibility of parents to be born.

From the moment you give your child to the old man, you give up your perfect concept of parenting. Accept it if you can, and go into battle if you can't.

If you want to raise a child according to your perfect idea, you can only take care of the baby yourself.

First, let's clarify a question. It's good that your mother-in-law is willing to help you with your children. Taking care of children is the obligation and responsibility of both husband and wife. It is a blessing for the elderly to help, and there is no responsibility for not helping.

I asked the main question, saying that my mother-in-law can't read and do things, so how did her son (the husband you chose) grow up?

Illiteracy may be a real problem for some elderly people, which is related to the times.

You said your mother-in-law couldn't do anything. I think it's just that things don't suit you. So my suggestions are as follows:

First, be content and grateful, no one has the obligation to manage the children instead of you.

It's a blessing for your mother-in-law to help with the children. Even if neither of you has time to go to work, the mother-in-law has no obligation to help with the children. Therefore, to be content and grateful, I always feel that there is a sense of accusation from the subject. As an elder in the family, you can feel your respect or contempt for your mother-in-law. If you want a good family, you must first respect the elderly from the heart.

Second, don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you. If you think your mother-in-law can't do it well, you can do it yourself.

It's really different from your mother-in-law's time to take care of children now. There are many scientific parenting knowledge and advanced parenting tools that ordinary old people have never been exposed to in those years. Plus, when you are old, you are definitely not as good at learning new things as your predecessors. I want to take care of the children while doing housework, washing, cooking and shopping.

If you and your wife get off work, I suggest helping the elderly more:

Third, patiently teach her mother-in-law some modern parenting tools and scientific parenting.

You can try to teach your mother-in-law how to use some simple parenting tools. If you feel bad, you can say that it is meaningless for family members to complain behind their backs. You said, my mother-in-law can learn. Isn't that a good thing?

Fourth, lower the requirements, blame less and praise more.

Finally, I think it's good for the elderly to take care of their children and prevent them from being hungry and cold. Be able to understand your elders, and don't ask too much. Children eat well and wear warm clothes, and wives are better than anything else.

As for your mother-in-law's illiteracy, do you still want her to educate her children to learn? Some elderly people may have this ability, but most of them don't have the heart to do it for some reason. Besides, your mother-in-law's education level is not high, why can't you husband and wife do it in a planned way?

I have such a mother-in-law It's really not a matter of giving up. Let me talk about my own personal experience.

From the beginning, I knew that my mother-in-law couldn't take care of the child, and the father of the child also said that he couldn't help her, so I took care of it all by myself after the child was born.

But when I was eight months old, my mother-in-law advised me to go out to work and said that she would help with the children, but how did she do it?

Once she fed the child, put the bowl directly at the child's mouth, and drove the rice paste into the child's mouth with a spoon and soup. The child didn't swallow it, but she was still scratching hard, making the child's face full of snot.

I was dumbfounded at that time, unable to speak, and I didn't know how to say it. A sadness came to my mind.

At that time, the child's father saw it and was anxious. He said something to his mother-in-law, but she was unhappy. She retorted, and I fought back my sadness: Mom, you are too eager to feed the child, and it is easy to choke on the child. She stopped talking.

I have been working for less than a month, about 20 days. One day, I suddenly called and said that the child was vomiting and diarrhea. My mother-in-law also called the child's aunt and grandfather. I was so scared that I cried on the road. I was really scared when I thought my mother-in-law told me that her first and second children had died. Fortunately, the child was fine later, just ordinary indigestion.

After this incident, I resigned. How can I go to work all day? I dare not put my child in the hands of such a mother-in-law, nor can I guarantee the safety and health of my child.

Although such a mother-in-law is rare, don't believe me. I'm telling the truth.

In fact, it doesn't matter whether she can read or not, but if she can't do anything, it's best not to let her take care of the children. Some mothers-in-law can't take care of themselves. Today she hurt her knee, and tomorrow she hit her head on her mouth (as my mother-in-law does). How can she take care of the child?

You also said that a mother-in-law can't learn to do things, and the growth of a child is only once and it is very important. In this case, there is no way, it is best to change someone else. This is my own personal experience, and I hope it will inspire you.