Three Tips for Interpersonal Communication "To Kill a Mockingbird"

? What is the most important thing in interpersonal communication? Harper Lee answered us in To Kill a Mockingbird with Addicks's words. Addicks is not only an excellent lawyer, but also a perfect father. He told his daughter Scoot and his son Jim how to put aside prejudice and get along better with others, and how to be kind and understanding people in complex environment.

The story happened during the Great Depression in the United States. "It was a time of blind optimism, and they had nothing to fear except fear itself.". There are all kinds of people living in Mecom County. The sharpest classification is based on skin color, and the contradiction of the story unfolds in racial discrimination. Addicks, a white lawyer, was controversial by the residents of the town for the lawsuit against Tom Robinson, a black man. Although Addicks uncovered the truth one by one in court and proved that Tom was framed, the jury with racial prejudice decided that Tom was guilty.

Before the lawsuit started, Scoot, the youngest daughter, asked Addicks, her father, whether the lawsuit would be won. The father clearly knew that it was impossible to win, and educated her, "We can't give up fighting for victory just because we have been defeated in the past 1 years."

Harper Lee calls for the elimination of racial discrimination between the lines and advocates equality for all. Besides, Addicks tells us more about how to handle interpersonal relationships better, which is still inspiring in today's society.

1 Tips for Interpersonal Communication: Equal Mentality

Ms. Gates, who was originally reasonable, told her students how bad Hitler treated Jews. She also knew that persecuting people was wrong, but turned to comment that black people "should be taught a lesson, and they are less and less aware of their immense advantages". A man who hates Hitler so much has such a deep prejudice against people in his hometown.

As Addicks said, "In the world we live in, there is always something that makes people lose their minds-even if they try to be fair, the result is still counterproductive. In our court, when the opposing sides are a white man and a black man, the white man always wins. These things are ugly, but this is the case in real life. " In Mecom County, when it comes to black people, many people will lose their minds. In any country and society, all people are equal in a sense, but people often forget equality because of prejudice.

Equality between people lies not only in skin color and law, but also in morality. I once asked my friend, two bad things, A and B, happened to you, which one did you not accept? My friend's answer is "None". When we accuse others of doing a bad thing, think about whether we have done a similar bad thing.

When we accuse others of spitting, we may have littered; When we criticize others for being sloppy, we may also have the problem of procrastination.

That's why I've been trying hard not to stand on the moral high ground and blame others. Pretending to stand on the moral high ground and accuse others, in fact, you may just stand in the fog and your feet are empty. * * * * Aside from extreme situations, such as crime, sometimes we put aside prejudice and understand other people's irrelevant emotions, but find that we are actually equal.

2 Interpersonal communication tip 2: Empathy

Addicks said to her daughter, "You can never really know a person unless you walk around in his shoes and think from his point of view."

In life, we are often sad or angry because we don't understand some practices of others, but calm down and think from the other side's point of view. Maybe you won't agree with his practices, but you can understand his reasons for doing so.

In the book, the new Miss Caroline made a joke in front of the students because she didn't understand the Cunningham family's way of dealing with people. If Scoot looked at this from Miss Caroline's point of view, she would find that it was just an unintentional mistake, and she could not be blamed for not knowing the background information.

People in the small town turn a blind eye to Mr. Bob ewell's hunting during the hunting season, which is obviously a bad connivance. But from Mr. ewell's point of view, his profligacy has led to the starvation of children at home, so the forest owners in Mecom County can't bear to ban Mr. ewell from hunting, so they never blame Mr. ewell's children.

3 tip 3 of interpersonal communication: others trust

Maybe you will ask, what if I understand others again and again, but I am constantly hurt and betrayed?

In another book, Courage to Be Disliked, Ichiro Kishimi gave us a good answer, "Maybe you will be cheated and used. * * * * However, please think about it from the standpoint of traitors. * * * * If someone is betrayed by you, they will continue to trust you unconditionally, no matter what kind of treatment they have suffered. * * * * Can you repeatedly commit treachery against such people? "

in the face of betrayal, I can choose to close the relationship or cut the relationship, which is my own topic, but if I dare not trust others, I can't establish a deep relationship with anyone. In other words, building a deep relationship is the goal of trust.

In the process of communicating with people, maintaining an equal mentality is an important prerequisite. If you can't let go of prejudice all the time, it will be difficult to start a relationship with people. After that, I am familiar with it. At this time, I need to put myself in the other person's shoes and think about it from the other person's point of view. It's not enough just to put oneself in another's shoes. If I want to build a deep relationship with others, I need to trust others and keep the courage to trust others even if I am betrayed.

There are many ways to deal with people in To Kill a Mockingbird, for example, "The polite way to talk to people is to talk about what they are interested in, not to talk about their own interests", and "Don't get angry no matter what others say to you, try to fight with your mind". If you think about it carefully, each one can be used as a criterion for communicating with people.

After reading this book, I can't help but sigh that Addicks's way of dealing with people is worthy of praise in any era background. In today's complex social environment, it is not easy to get along well with people around him, but you must not try to do better because of this difficulty. I wish you a "bumpy road" to get along with others.