Sorry, there is no spark between us.

Jeff and Zoe, who have been in love for many years, broke up. Everyone was surprised when the news came. I once spoke highly of them, and everyone admired Love in the City. A while ago, they were cooking in the apartment and entertaining us, watching their natural and comfortable way of getting along. We were all happy for them at that time. Even the engagement gifts are ready for them, just waiting for them to announce the good news.

Zoe came to our house in tears. She still loves Jeff in her heart, but everything seems irreparable. I berated this heartless man in my heart. Is it empathy to leave such a good girlfriend? When Jeff came to our house to talk, it was obvious that he was also in pain.

"Why did you break up?" I asked anxiously.

"There is no spark between us. I don't want to live like this forever. That kind of life makes me feel suffocated. "

I froze. I couldn't figure out how I should feel after hearing this man's confession.

Jeff's parting words were: "Sorry, there is no chemistry between us". Sorry, there is no chemical reaction between us.

Joke! So many years of feelings can't compare with "chemical reaction"? !

What is a "chemical reaction"? What is the spark between men and women? What's it like to "call each other"?

The answer is: there is a kind of love substance called pea in our brain. When PEA is stimulated, we will feel in love, breathing will be accelerated, heartbeat will be accelerated, palms will sweat, face will turn red, and the whole person will be on cloud nine. This feeling of love suddenly makes us feel beautiful and happy, and makes us feel special and precious. But this feeling of love can last for 2.5 years at most. Because the peak concentration of EPA can only last so long.

Since the "spark" is so short, since the "chemical reaction" is fleeting, what should we do with our love and marriage?

No wonder when so many extramarital affairs happen, many men will say, "I don't love my wife anymore." Our marriage is lifeless. We are just maintaining it. "

Perhaps most people's marriages are maintained in this way. There is no feeling of electricity, no chemical reaction as Jeff said, and no spark.

Thinking of this, I suddenly felt very dangerous. I immediately ran to my husband and said, "Husband, do we still have chemistry?" "Is there still a spark between us?" Sir, I'm confused. After thinking for a long time, he solemnly told me: "Dear, we must have sparks, and we can also create some sparks, but marriage will not always be full of sparks." Marriage is a promise, a decision before God. When we decide to get married, when we exchange vows and put rings on each other before God, we should realize that our marriage is a contract and a solemn agreement before God, and we should support each other until the end of our lives. "

Yes, I was so confused by this spark and this chemical reaction that I almost forgot the true meaning of marriage. I'm glad I met a mature man.

If the relationship between men and women is limited to the chemical reaction of "hormone rise, heartbeat, call, pleasure and love", it may be difficult for us to get married. We may have to change lovers every three years, or we may have an affair all the time.

Since it is a "spark", it will not burn all the time. ...

Since it is a "chemical reaction", it will not continue to react endlessly. ...

Since it is "calling each other", it will not be turned on all the time. ...

Is this love? I don't think this is true love. So I tell you, "I'm sorry, you don't know love yet."

This is only the primary stage of love, called passion, attraction, strong passion, admiration, attraction, lust, feeling and affection. If the love between men and women can only stay at this level, I'm sorry, you are not suitable for marriage. Because this beautiful feeling will fade away in a few years. As a result, many men and women in love and marriage subconsciously indulge themselves to accept and participate in affairs like moths to a flame. I am even looking forward to this relationship. Whenever we ask people who have this relationship, the answer is usually:

"My husband doesn't care about me at all, and I have no feeling of love for him." "There is no passion or spark between my wife and me ..." I found the feeling of first love in her, and now I am so happy ... "

We often say casually, "I don't love you anymore, let's break up." Having said that, we are not qualified to say the word "love". When we tell each other "when we don't love", it's just that our passion, feelings and feelings have disappeared. "

Love is not just a spark, not just a passion, not just a "chemical reaction" or mutual attraction. When you hold someone's hand, tell them that you love them. This is more of a solemn decision and a promise. Believe it or not, when you decide to enter the marriage hall, you must make sure that this is your commitment to each other. Therefore, when there are few "sparks" and "chemical reactions", you will be able to remind yourself to love each other, accept each other and cherish each other.

When my husband and I decided to get married, I told him that I couldn't be a "desperate housewife" one day. So we went to a pre-marriage counseling class. The course is summarized as follows: smart women and smart men will not make their relationship with their lovers dull; A wise couple, their relationship is full of love, sentiment, surprise, romantic sense of ceremony and "sparks" made by themselves from time to time.

After two lovers decided to enter a stable relationship or marriage, they suddenly pulled away. I have no doubt about what I didn't know before. At this time, two people who love each other should work harder to manage their relationship and accept each other completely, instead of easily making life casual and drifting with the flow.

Because we love each other, we will pay more attention to our appearance and external image, and hope to see something refreshing and full of joy in each other's eyes.

Because of love, we will remind ourselves to keep a safe distance from other members of the opposite sex and not let any so-called romantic feelings sprout.

Because they love each other, they will not easily pour out their feelings or emotions to men or women other than lovers, or get along alone, because it will easily become a hotbed of ambiguity.

Because we love each other, we will gladly accept the flowers bought by our husbands, regardless of the price.

Because we love each other, we will spread beautiful napkins, exquisite tableware and fragrant candles. For each other, we will make life more exquisite and fashionable, and make the plain life full of emotional appeal.

Because we are in love, we will try our best to give each other a romantic night, and we will not neglect the routine because we have been in love for many years.

Because we keep the promise of love, we will still have an early morning kiss, a parting hug, a date between two people and a romantic dinner, just like the first love, and we will not abandon gentlemanly manners and ladylike manners because of the passage of time.

Because we keep our promise of love, we only do romantic things to each other. Romantic hugs on the balcony, dancing in soft music, walking by the sea in the sunset, and drinking a glass of red wine before going to bed ... these things can only be done with lovers.

Because we keep our promise of love, we always tell each other "I love you, thank you."

There was once a beautiful aunt who said that she was beautiful, not because of her appearance, but because of her gentle and quiet feeling. This wise woman always speaks softly and sweetly, and what comes out of her mouth is always praise. She always dresses up well, and the decorations at home are comfortable and warm. Once, my mother and I were guests at her house, and she suddenly said to us: My husband is coming back, and I want to change clothes and decorate. I saw a smile in her husband's eyes when she hugged him radiant at the door. At that time, when I was 19 years old, I lamented that it was so cute for a woman to dress up to welcome her lover home.

Dear friend, from time to time, you can also give your love some sparks, don't let it be dull. May we all have long-term love and commitment. Let's try to light some small sparks for love. Because what we want is not to have it once, but to have it forever.