Funny classic voice jokes that you can't resist.

1. A recruit always lags behind when he gets up, so he buys dyes and paints his body in camouflage uniforms. He was the first to rush out of the barracks when the bugle sounded in the middle of the night. The officer praised: "Very good! But next time, pay attention to the Grenade hanging behind. "

2. A man accosted a sister paper on the bus. The man said to the woman, "You really look like my ex-girlfriend." The woman bowed her head in shame and asked, "So … why did you break up with her?" Man: "I think she is ugly."

In high school, the penultimate in the class never came to school and spent all day in the Internet cafe. But the strange thing is that he comes to every exam and is never absent. Later, we found that the penultimate member of the class would go to the Internet cafe to give it to the penultimate member 10 yuan before each exam, begging him to take the exam. ...

4. I didn't succeed in chasing a girl recently ... Call my mother at night and ask her not to chase girls. Too much trouble. I'll wait for the girls to chase me later. On the other end of the phone, my mother said coldly, "People should learn to recognize themselves ... recognize themselves ..."

My best friend and I went to the hospital for examination and found that we were pregnant for two months. I wanted to give my husband good news, but my mobile phone was dead, so I had to borrow my best friend's mobile phone and send him a short message: I am pregnant. I didn't remember that I didn't sign it until I sent it successfully. I just want to resend it. Husband has replied: honey, really? Where are you now? I'll pick you up! I seem to understand something. ...

I saw a beautiful little girl on my way to work today, so I followed her. She seemed to find me following her, so she ran a short distance. I think, if I don't grasp this fate, I may regret it all my life, so I chased it up and said, "Beauty, can you give me your phone number?" She ran away in panic with trembling hands and a mobile phone in her hand. ...

7. I went to buy steamed buns today and said to the boss who sells steamed buns, "Boss, what flavor of steamed buns is the best?" The boss said, "Meat buns are delicious." I replied, "Give me a white sugar one."

8. When I was in college, I heard a roommate say that one of his friends expressed his feelings: "My brother is getting married." A message: "Your boy won't get on the boat first and then make up the ticket, will he?" Congratulations! " Later reply: "Not me, but my brother ..."