Tell a few jokes, thank you! !

1. Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said, how well this muscle is trained! Soldier: Sir, I'm a female soldier! 2. A farmer asked a veterinarian to breed pigs, and the veterinarian said: It seems that artificial breeding is needed. The farmer hesitated for a long time, summoned up his courage and said, yes, I'm afraid it will bite me. One day, 0 and 8 met in the street. 0 disdainfully looked at 8 and said: Fat is fat. What belt are you wearing? 4. A sister-in-law saw a person who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, and quickly said to that person, Comrade, you dropped the cigarettes! The man is furious: you just castrated! 5. A village woman wanted to go to the toilet for the first time in the city, but she didn't meet it for a long time. She had no choice but to ask the police: Comrade, there is a public toilet ahead, where is the mother toilet? 6. What would you do if I hugged you? Woman: resist! Man: What would you do if I kissed you? Woman: Resist. Man: If I ... Woman: It's over! Women's power is limited after all! 7. A person was constipated when he went to the toilet, and suddenly he saw a person rushing in, and it was stormy in an instant. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast." "I envy you, I didn't take off my pants!" A foreign youth in China can't understand the difference between "iron" and "steel". One night he came home late and couldn't open the door, so he had to shout, landlady, will you open your steel door? I can't get in! 9. When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "Sweetheart!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby." 10. On the bus, the pregnant woman standing said to the strange man sitting next to her: Don't you know I'm pregnant? I saw the man very nervous and said, but the child is not mine! 1 1. The old man confessed to his wife before he died: I once had an affair, please forgive me! Wife: What a big deal! You can sleep now! Which of our children looks like you? 12. A white couple got married for many years and finally had a child, but it turned out to be dark. The husband blamed his wife and said, It's all your fault! You must turn off the light every time you go to bed. 13. The swimming coach is straight and loud. One day, he met a female student in the shopping mall and greeted him. He said loudly, you really didn't recognize you when you put on your clothes.