How should we face praise and criticism?

Praise others more. In fact, many times, people around us don't know how we feel about him. We often hold the idea that I didn't say anything critical to him, so why should I say something nice? We forget that people need to be affirmed, especially when doing something meaningful. Many times, our efforts are not to return, but to be affirmed. In fact, each of us (including what you like and what you don't like) makes progress and grows by these praises and affirmations.

When we treat compliments from others, we should keep a clear head. Everyone likes to listen to praise, and praise often makes people feel valuable in this world. Without approval, people can't live. The essence of human beings is to be affirmed, and identity is a positive feedback from the outside world. The question is what you are praised for and how to get praise, praise or compliment from others.

You should only believe half a casual compliment, not a serious compliment. Horses stumble easily on soft soil, and people fall easily in sweet words. The more you need praise, the easier it is to be dominated by others. Sometimes, praise is just to cover up the uneasiness of discovering other people's shortcomings, and use a more subtle statement. For example, if you are praised for your strong opinions, you may already be quite unreasonable. The more you say what is good, the more inadequate it becomes. Therefore, you should realize what others praise you, and sometimes you might as well think the other way around. If someone praises you because of your power status, your coffers, you are a senior and you are too groggy, then you should be alert, defend yourself and look at each other coldly; If someone praises you for your wisdom, charm, fatigue and work, then you should be grateful, masturbate and have a deep vision. Praise from others is like perfume. You can smell it, but don't taste it seriously. Drink it and it will be miserable.

Say praise first, then criticize. The lack of criticism has both objective and subjective reasons. It stands to reason that there is something wrong with work that is not afraid of criticism. The problem is that there is no normal criticism environment now. We are in an era of pluralistic values, with no distinction between right and wrong, self-righteousness and no criticism. In the past, people's living conditions were similar, and their quality of life, living standards and living standards were similar. Nowadays, it is all unitization and individualization, especially under the background of economic life, the diversification and individualization of people's life goals have formed a certain degree of liberalization. Although there are more different understandings and ideas, people are also more self-centered. Therefore, although there are more "critics", the harder it is for people to accept criticism. Moreover, the whole society can't accept normal criticism. When criticism comes, the masses think it is a big deal, and the leaders at the top give instructions to pursue it, so normal criticism is not normal. Therefore, praise is easier than criticism, which makes people have many concerns: criticizing superiors is difficult to protect their official positions; Criticism at the same level is difficult to relate to; Criticize subordinates and reduce the number of votes; Self-criticism, asking for trouble.

Don't be afraid of criticism. If you are criticized, please remember that sometimes criticizing you will give him a sense of importance, which also shows that you have made achievements and attracted attention. Many people get satisfaction by blaming people who have achieved more than themselves.

The so-called don't be afraid of criticism, there is another situation, that is, the biggest difference between people who do things and people who don't do things is that the latter has the right to comment on the former. There is such a joke: an old man and a child ride a donkey to the market. At first, children ride donkeys and old people walk, so critics speak that children don't respect old people; Then the old man got on the donkey and let the child go, and critics said that the old man didn't care about the child; The old man had to ride a donkey to take his children to the market, and critics criticized him for not caring for animals-in real life, we face too many critics and critics, and there is no one who will never be slandered or praised. If you talk too much, others will criticize you; If you talk less, others will criticize you; When you are silent, others will criticize you-there is no one in this world who is not criticized. As long as there are people, there is right and wrong. As long as people have mouths, there will be opinions and criticisms.

People who want to be happy should not care too much about other people's criticism. In the face of some criticisms, we should have our own opinions, and don't close ourselves because of others' doubts. People criticize you, even if they deny you and attack you, it doesn't mean denying yourself. The only person who can deny you is yourself. Therefore, those who can't stand criticism from others will be sad for 30 days after saying one sentence, and turn their faces after saying two sentences. In fact, they are extremely confident in themselves. Of course, such a person who easily "criticizes" others is destined to say goodbye to happiness.

You should not only be aware of other people's praise, but also be aware of other people's criticism. Sometimes I feel good about myself and a little bloated. I do not see any at all. I need someone to remind me and fix it. It is unpleasant to be repaired, but it is beneficial. Only friends who really know you will say it. After really hearing the truth, I should reflect on myself and change myself. Encourage your people to be closer to you or criticize you? Today, if you are still confused about this, it means that you have not recognized yourself and may hurt many friends by mistake. Please remember: encourage your friends to think you are fragile and care more about your mood; Your friends who criticize you think you need to be strong inside and think more about your personal growth.

Most of the criticisms we face are reasonable, so we must face them bravely. Those who are really strong inside do not shy away from their own shortcomings, because these shortcomings actually exist. Everyone has shortcomings, but unfortunately, not everyone is willing to admit their own shortcomings. Not only refused, but more often, he was angry with the person who let him discover his shortcomings, and then thought that as long as others were not allowed to speak-and if he was bald, others were not allowed to say even the light bulb, saying it was vulgar, it was better to kill him-his shortcomings would not exist. So there is a phenomenon, criticizing leaders for firing salutes, criticizing others for firing empty guns, and criticizing themselves for firing dumb guns.

One thousand people's Nuo Nuo is not as admirable as one. Zheng Banqiao put it well: "It's not good to praise if you scratch, but it's good to scold if you say it directly." . Don't learn from that balloon, even the big balloon at the celebration and the colorful giants floating in the sky, but it can't even stand the criticism with a big needle tip. Don't be too proud in the face of criticism. Voltaire said, "self-esteem is an inflated balloon, and a small needle will stab a big storm." Some people resist criticism. Do they think they did the right thing, or are they afraid of losing face? In fact, in the face of criticism, you can do two things: first, try your best to do what you should do; The second is to talk to your critics and listen to their opinions. Maybe you will know where you are wrong. When someone criticizes you, even if he is wrong, don't argue first, and then explain when everyone calms down.

Be brave in self-criticism Few friends in the world are willing to speak frankly about your shortcomings. Most people just talk about the scene because of feelings or relationships. There is no need to make you unhappy or remind you of progress. Those who are willing to speak frankly may not have the ability to stop at once, as the saying goes, "What can be said will not be said, and what can be said will not be said." So, if you have such a friend, you must cherish it. Sometimes, you need to think of yourself as a mirror to save yourself. You must be self-aware of your mistakes, but sometimes you don't have to say it. When you meet a self-righteous person, he doesn't know if you don't say your mistakes; But you admit your mistake, but he blames you endlessly. So some mistakes don't have to be said, but you must have insight and correct them. If something goes wrong, you should find the reason from yourself. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated. One of the reasons why you can't tell your own shortcomings, or ignore your own shortcomings, is that you don't want people to know. More importantly, you are insightful, but you don't know what your problem is. If you don't face those self-righteous people, you should take the initiative to make self-criticism in most cases. Being able to self-criticize is a manifestation of character, which gives people affinity and does not affect their prestige at all. Even if you are in charge, you should admit your mistakes to your superiors and make achievements to your subordinates. Sometimes in interpersonal conflicts, attacking yourself is the best defense. It takes more courage to admit failure than not to admit it. Admitting failure when you can admit it is actually a great wisdom in life. If you are wrong, apologize to the other party as soon as possible. Apologizing neither hurts the apologist nor the person who accepts it. No mistake is a hypothesis, thinking is a maturity, and correction is a virtue.

Be good at criticizing others. Any criticism should adhere to fairness and justice, respect human dignity and pursue truth, goodness and beauty. Any criticism should be objective, well-intentioned and rational, not personal, and never engage in personal attacks. People with high emotional intelligence generally don't complain, complain or grumble. Because they know that these complaints and accusations are bad psychological emotions and are contagious. People with high emotional intelligence can only do meaningful things, not meaningless things.

If you want to criticize others' dissatisfaction, you should hold your horses and wait for the opportunity, because what comes out of your mouth is often not criticism, but resentment and blame. You are willing to be outspoken to your friends, because you think it is your duty to give advice and tell the truth to your friends, and you are loyal to your friends. But he wouldn't listen. You often don't poke the horse in the ribs, but provoke the horseshoe. You think it's because advice is hard to listen to, it's his problem-you don't understand, sometimes you may be right, but it's good for you to rely on your own heart. No matter what way you use, you force him to pour coptis juice into his ear and nose, and don't want to feed him ox yellow tablets.

If you really want to help him, please find a suitable way. Criticism also has art. Pay attention to the following points: 1. Pay attention to the time of criticism. The time of criticism is very important. For example, if it is not Monday morning, most people will have "Monday depression"; Don't leave work on Friday, so as not to spoil the mood of the other party's weekend vacation. 2. Pay attention to the occasions of criticism. Pay attention to the occasion when criticizing, don't criticize your friends or colleagues in front of outsiders, and it's best to close the door when no one is in private. 3. Don't be arrogant and don't be too loud; 4. Don't comment on personality. 5, say this, don't turn over old accounts. 5. Praise before criticizing. To criticize a person, we must first understand his advantages; When criticizing a person, it is best to point out his good points first. It's like a barber shaving someone. He must first apply soapy water to them so that they can shave without pain. Make affirmation or point out advantages before criticism, and let the other party accept criticism with a gentle mood. Criticize others as tactfully, implicitly and subtly as possible. Responsible people should be reserved and avoid too much; Advise people to be tactful and avoid being too straight; The police should be suspicious and avoid being too serious. Even severe criticism can be serious without losing sincerity, sharp without losing relevance, strict with requirements without losing tolerance and encouragement.

Don't criticize others behind their backs. You can praise people behind their backs, not criticize them behind their backs. If the other person hears your praise indirectly through others, it will be more surprising than if you tell me directly. On the contrary, if you criticize the other party, don't tell the party through a third party, so as not to embellish it.