Classic connotation jokes

Classic connotation jokes

Do you know the benefits of learning some jokes? When you meet for the first time, there is always the embarrassment of not knowing what to say. At this time, you I need some jokes to lighten the atmosphere. Here I have collected classic connotation jokes for you. I hope it can be helpful to you! Chapter 1: Classic connotation jokes

(1)

A couple, both operators, had a quarrel one day, and the husband slammed the door and left.

In the evening,

The wife dialed her husband’s mobile phone.

The husband said angrily:

Hello! This is the Lijiuli service hotline.

To bow your head and admit your mistake, please press 1;

To resolutely divorce, please press 2;

If you want to hit someone, this service desk will transfer you to 110. ?

The wife was so angry that she hung up the phone.

Late at night, the husband came home and found that the door was locked. He could only call his wife’s mobile phone. Just listen to my wife say in falsetto:

Hello! This is the service hotline.

If you want to go home, please kneel on the washboard;

If you want to get divorced, please kneel on the electric fan;

If you feel unwell, I will The service desk will transfer you to 120. ?

(2)

Wife: Husband gives me money

Husband: Money is not the problem, the problem is lack of money!

Wife : Then buy me a diamond ring!

Husband: Diamonds are forever, but one will go bankrupt!

Wife: Then I’ll find another one!

Husband: That’s not possible! One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers, unless there is one male and one female...

Wife: Let me tell you, water can carry a boat!

Husband: Yes! Yes ! Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

Wife: If you don’t believe it, try it!

Husband: Fire can test gold, gold can test women, and women can test men. You can try me.

Wife: Then you are not convinced!

Husband: Accepted? Even if I am drunk, no one will help me, I will just hold the wall! < /p>

Wife: I don’t think you have much future in this life!

Husband: I am just a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future but no way out.

Wife : Oh my God! Why did I fall in love with you!

Husband: When you ask what love is in the world, it is one thing that comes down from another. Chapter 2: Classic connotation jokes

An old farmer rushed If a donkey enters the city and runs a red light, it will be fined 10 yuan. The old farmer drank to the donkey: "You think you are a military vehicle! You dare to run through a red light?"

After walking a few steps, the donkey knocked over a fruit stall again and paid 20 yuan for it. The old farmer was even more angry: "Do you think you are an industrial and commercial city manager who can knock down anyone's stall whenever he wants?"

The old farmer led his donkey home and passed by a green grassland. The donkey gnawed the grass and was fined 30 yuan. The old farmer was very angry and cursed: "Do you think you are an inspection team going to the countryside? Where can you eat?" Where?.

After scolding the old farmer, he took the donkey to the river to drink water, but the donkey became stubborn and refused to drink. The old farmer got angry: "You think you are in heaven and earth, and you won't drink without a lady to accompany you?" ?.

The donkey turned around and ran away. There was a fishing net hanging on the bank. The donkey broke it. The fisherman claimed 500 yuan. The old farmer said with tears in his eyes: "Do you think this is China Telecom? It costs so much to access the Internet." money?.

The donkey turned around and kicked the old farmer. The old farmer reluctantly cursed: "Do you think you are the leader of the group and can kick whoever you want?"

The donkey was so angry that he stopped paying attention to the old farmer and became very silent. The old farmer said: "Yeah, you think you are in a QQ group and you can stay silent all day?"

The old farmer was nagging and accusing the donkey all the way. When passing by a cliff, the donkey couldn't stand the nagging and jumped down.

, the old farmer cried sadly: "Do you think this is Foxconn? Dance if you want!" Chapter 3: Classic connotation jokes

01. Triplets

Four years later At the gate of the kindergarten, many people were picking up children. A man picked up three boys who looked very much alike. Everyone was amazed at the triplets and asked: Are your three grandchildren triplets?

The man shook his head and said: That’s a scam. The two-child policy, one is my grandson and the other is my son.

Everyone asked: Where is the remaining one?

The man cried and said: It’s my brother~

02. Counterfeit coins

Husband and wife The two divorced and fought over the child. In court, the wife said confidently: If the child is born from my belly, of course it belongs to me.

The husband said angrily: It’s a joke, it’s just nonsense. Can the money coming out of the ATM be returned to the ATM? Whoever inserts the card will get it.

The judge fainted on the spot, and even the lawyer admired him.

The wife then said: If the money comes out are counterfeit, do you want it?

Everyone present fainted and still haven’t woken up? ;