The text of humorous jokes in encyclopedia of cold jokes

(I call myself) 1 There is a frog named Xiao Huang. One day, he was hit by a car. He shouted "Gung" and then he became a cucumber.

A family has three brothers. The boss is called a rogue, the second is called a kitchen knife, and the third is called trouble. One day, the third one was lost. The boss took the second child to the police station and said, "I'm a rogue. I brought a kitchen knife to make trouble today."

The doctor said to the patient, "Your teeth are too strong. It seems that you need a locomotive to pull it out. " A few days later, when the doctor saw the patient again, his tooth had fallen out. The doctor is curious. The patient said, "I took your advice and tied my teeth to the motorcycle." As a result, my tooth fell out? " "No way, I pulled both carriages out of the track ~ ~ ~ ~" "Then how did your teeth fall out?" "It was knocked out by the railway station security guard" ~ ~ ~

On Monday, I got on the bus with nothing but 1 yuan. Sitting from the starting point to the finish line, I feel very calm all the way. But when I got off at the terminal, I found a note in my pants: "An adult goes out without anything, and it's no shame to lose it." - "

On Tuesday, I took a broken wallet with 1 cent in it. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in my wallet: "We are not beggars, please don't insult our profession. - "

On Wednesday, I still broke my wallet, which contained counterfeit money of 100. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in my wallet: "It is illegal to hide large face value * *, please consciously turn it over to the relevant departments. - "

On Thursday, I took an envelope containing a stack of overdue Straits Got Talent. When I arrived at the terminal, I found the envelope was still there. I took out the newspaper and read it. The newspaper was replaced by the latest straits talent newspaper. 1 Remarks: "Now is the consulting era. Only by updating information in time can we seize the opportunity and win success! - "

On Friday, I put a toy mobile phone in my pocket. After arriving at the terminal, the mobile phone was still there, and there was an extra note: "Please don't make such jokes, which will affect the normal work of our company. - "

On Saturday, I took a toy pistol and stuck it in my waist. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the gun was gone and a note was stuffed in my pants: "I hate you robbers most, you have no technical content at all!" " Confiscate the tools of crime! - "

On Sunday, I was about to get on the bus, and there were too many people to squeeze in. When waiting for the next bus, I felt in my pocket and found that there was an extra 20 yuan, and there was a note: "Brother, our business is not easy this day. This is 20 yuan. You can take a taxi to where you want to go, please don't mess with us. "

A child in the delivery room smiled after birth, and the midwife was very surprised. When she gathered around to observe, she found that the child's fist was clenched. After breaking it, she found that it was an abortion drug. She only heard the child say: He *! Do you want to kill me? It's not that easy! !

There was once a problem in Chinese, which was to write a four-word phrase. The radical capital of each word is the same as that of uppercase, and it is required that each word cannot be repeated. My first reaction was a ghost, but unfortunately I couldn't write a word. I held back for a long time and wrote "Playing with Glass Balls" ... Rivers and lakes, harps and pipa, rough waves, so many words ... I played with glass balls ... At that time, I felt that Peking University could not want me! !

Seven high numbers give me one feeling: this fucking card still works! Two: How the fuck is this proved? Three: You can fucking prove it!

Gosling asked the goose, "Why do you call your father Emperor Ama?" The goose said to the gosling, "Because I am your mother goose."

As soon as the director entered the office, the wife of the director of the office broke in and waved a pair of women's briefs and said to the director, "My husband is wearing women's underwear when he comes home at night. You must take care of it." The director nodded repeatedly and stuffed his underwear into his pocket. When I came home at night, the director's wife found the briefs in the director's pocket when she was washing clothes, and said to the director, "Don't joke like this in the future, people have been looking for it all day."

10.- Hello, please call a taxi. I am at the intersection of XX, wearing a short black skirt. ...

-Okay, where to?

It means "the person who does ..." ... to the knee ... agreed.

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