Solo funny allegro lines

Lines are words spoken by characters in a dramatic performance. It is the main means used by playwrights to display plots, depict characters, and embody themes. It is also the basic component of the script. Below are the single-person funny allegro lines I compiled for reference only. Let’s take a look.

1. I went to the bus station to see off my classmates. After leaving, I called and asked: Have you gotten on the bus? The answer was: Immediately. After a while, my classmates got on the bus and called again. When asked: Have you gotten on the bus? I replied, Yes. Asked: Have you brought all your luggage? He replied: Oops, I forgot what you asked me to bring.

2. I was queuing up to get a rice bowl in the cafeteria after work today. When I waited for the classmate in front of me, it happened to be gone. I could only eat the set meal. My classmate was disappointed. It was really tragic. When I arrived, it was gone. I received it. What’s even more tragic is that I’m not the one in front of you. After a while, I went to eat and found that the food of my classmates who ordered set meals elsewhere was much better. Then he added: Tragedy of tragedies. When I was eating, I found that other people’s food was better than my own. The one I got after a long time is much better.

3. The mother bought a dozen quail eggs for her three-year-old son and said: "Son, eat the eggs quickly!" The son said in surprise: "Mom is stupid, buy such small eggs?" This is not an egg, this is a quail egg, the egg of a small bird." I saw my son running quickly to the yard and running in circles with his arms spread out. The father asked in confusion: "What are you doing?" "I'm taking off. Go to the sky with mom to buy bird eggs."

4. The woman asked: "Do you love me?" The man replied: "Yes!" The woman was happy: "Are you willing to die for me?" The man replied: "No!" The woman was angry: "Why?" The man replied: "You will be sad when I die! So I would rather you die first! Leave the sadness to myself!"

5. Question: Someone bumped into you on the street. How would you react if I said "I am Cristiano Ronaldo" to you? Answer: Bump him back. From now on, you can tell my friends that I even hit Ronaldo!

6. "Once I went to a shopping mall to buy silver jewelry. There was no salesperson at the counter, so I asked the salesperson at the counter next to me: 'Is the salesperson here?' I saw the man shouting to the back: 'The money seller is out to pick up customers. '"

7. After studying in the West, Zhu Bajie passed by Gao Laozhuang. In order to find out what Miss Gao was thinking, he left a message on the door: Brother Zhu. Xitian Qiu Sutra has become famous, and I want to renew our good relationship with you. The next day I saw a reply at the door: My sister Gao went east to study for a long time with her heart set on her own destiny, but it will be difficult to reunite again. Bajie sighed: It's going to rain and my mother wants to get married, so let her go.

8. One day, a lady went to have her fortune told. Later, the fortune teller said to the lady: You have a bad fate. The lady said: "Why"? The fortune teller said: You have a bad omen. The lady then said: Can I take off my bra? The fortune teller said: No, as soon as you take off your bra, there will be two big waves in your life!

9. We went to the market to buy sneakers together. The shoes were very cheap. The classmate was very happy and asked the boss: "Boss, your sneakers are so cheap, how long can they last?" The boss replied: " If you don’t play football, you can wear it for a week.”…

10. A student fell asleep in English class in the new semester. The teacher patted him and said, “What’s your name?” After talking for a long time, the student was still sleepy. Hazy and at a loss, the teacher got angry: "What's your name? You can't squeak!" The student then said: "Squeak."

11. Two people like to eat sour food very much. One day, two people People went to a restaurant to eat dumplings and saw that there was half a bottle of vinegar in the vinegar bottle on the table. One person asked the other: "Is this enough vinegar for us to eat?" The other person looked at the vinegar bottle and said, "Let's save some." , almost enough."

12. A friend was eating in a small restaurant and greeted the waiter. The waiter came over and asked: "Sir, what do you need?" The friend said: "Please bring me some sanitary napkins." Come here"...

13. A asked B: "Do you prefer to drive a manual transmission car or an automatic transmission car?" B said: "I like to drive a manual transmission car because an automatic transmission car makes my left foot "It's useless"... 14. During the road test, the man walked into the cab and the examiner sat next to him and asked: "Are you nervous?" The man replied: "No, our instructor said, you can do it." Think of a dog sitting next to you.

15. A said to B: "Please help me pull the white hair on my head." B said: "I have been color blind since I was a child. I can't tell the difference between black and white. Put your head over"...

16. Boyfriend: “Do you like the birthday gift I gave you? Girlfriend: "Well, it looks good. I like it!" Boyfriend: "Really? Then why don't you take it with me?" Girlfriend: “Didn’t I just tell you?” Thieves like to be stolen. ”

17. Female: I am so good to you, why do you peek at other girls? Male: I couldn’t boast that I was dirty in the past, but now I am so dissolute that I have no boundaries. Female: I am really shameless. Male: The garden is full of beauty. I can't hold it back, and a branch of red apricot comes out of the wall. Female: ... break up

18. Male: I am so close to you, but I still feel so far away from you. Female: Why am I so far away? I still feel you are so annoying.

Tonight it was my girlfriend’s turn to cook. She brought a tray and said, “Please turn over the labels for what you want to eat.” There were four labels on the tray that said: Mushroom stew. Chicken, braised pork ribs with green onions, beef brisket with tomatoes, can I eat them all? My girlfriend said: I’m afraid you can’t eat them, so you won’t give me your pocket money after a while. Master Kong Instant Noodles

19. Question: “Why do you still like her so much when she has an average appearance, a bad body, and a bad temper? Answer: "Then why did Lao Tzu write the Tao Te Ching?" Question: "Why?" Answer: "Because I am willing." ”

20. The teacher said something thought-provoking: when urging food, saying "no" is more effective than "hurry up"; when bargaining, saying "check again" is more effective than "cheaper" "Click" is more effective. When trying to retain something, saying "You go away" is more effective than "Don't do this" - if you can't retain something, throw it as far away as possible, and it may bounce back after hitting something.

21. As the saying goes: "A year's plan begins with spring." Let me tell you a tip for getting rich in the New Year: "Seize the opportunity" whether it's an old chicken or a young chicken; let's take care of the rams and ewes and "take advantage of the sheep". , if you have something good to say, please miss me. Happy New Year!

22. After a girl got on the bus, she said to the driver while looking for something, Master, the next stop is happy, the road has not yet been said. , the driver immediately changed the music to make the next stop happy.

23. What is the Spring Festival? One word: consumption. Three words: big party. . Four words: Eat and sleep. Six words: Everyone wishes you a happy new year. Eight words: Visiting relatives is pure suffering. Drunkenness hurts the body and stomach. Ten words: Return to your original position after seven days of long vacation. Happy Spring Festival.

24. Mother tells her children about Kuafu. After telling the story about chasing the sun, the child said thoughtfully, I finally understand why the teacher said that the water resources are getting less and less. It turns out that Kuafu drinks it.

25. I get paid every holiday, I gain three pounds during the holidays, I get blind dates during the holidays, and I get upset every holiday. Even though the holidays are annoying, even though the holidays are tacky, and even though the text messages are boring, I wish my friends a happy life.

26. Xiao Ming was a little unhappy. He sat on the sofa and complained, "No one likes me, everyone in the world hates me!" His brother was playing games and encouraged him: "That's not necessarily the case, Xiao Ming." Some people don't even know you yet. ”

27. Once upon a time, there were two pigs. One pig was extremely hardworking, getting up early and going back to work in the fields late at night. The other pig was extremely lazy, relying on the hardworking piglets to support them. As the days passed, so and so One day, the Pig God came down the mountain and found the two little pigs. He roared and struck the diligent pig to death with a thunder: "You betrayed the pig's soul!"

Two male colleagues chatted. A: I'm getting married. B: Actually, I am also getting married. A: Then let’s go ask for leave together. Colleague B: OK! Colleague AB: Manager! We are getting married. The manager suddenly became confused.

28. Low-end cars are always: My family is happy! I have a lovely wife! I have lovely children! I love taking the whole family out on drives! Mid- to high-end cars will always mean: I’ll have a successful career! There are beauties! There is red wine! There is a contract to sign! I like to drive alone and show off!

29. A boy sent a text message to his girlfriend one day: "Your hair style is different today." The girlfriend said: "Oh, I permed it."

After a while, he replied: "Ah! Isn't it serious?!"

30. Why do weekends feel so short? Because there is no morning on weekends, it goes by as soon as I sleep. Why do workdays feel so long? Because in addition to morning, afternoon and morning, I have to cook and catch the train.

31. One day, five Fuwa babies gave themselves nicknames when they had nothing to do! Beibei said: I am Beibei, please call me Beibei. Jingjing said: My name is Jingwa! Huanhuan: Everyone, please call me Huanwa! Nini said: Let me call you Niva! Yingying said: You guys chat, I’m leaving first...

32. A modern lady wearing a super short miniskirt walked into a laundry shop, and the shop owner stared at her. The lady waved her hand to the boss very proudly and said: Go ahead and do your job! The boss said with a serious face: Miss, your skirt shouldn't have shrunk in our store.

33. The thesis I defended was about Laozi’s silk version and Chu bamboo slip version. They thought I copied it, but I moved out old yellowed books from the big cardboard box I brought with me, and The thread-bound book, which is older than the instructor, passed directly.

34. Sparrows and crows form a dragon gate formation together.

The sparrow said: What kind of bird are you?

The crow said: I am Phoenix!

Sparrow: How can there be such a dark phoenix as your turtle son?

Crow: You know what a shovel, I am a phoenix who burns boilers.

35. A teacher assigned students an assignment to make sentences using "please" and "request".

After handing in the homework, one of the students answered: Yesterday, my mother stewed a pot of pig's feet. Before it was cooked, my father ate a piece and said, "I beg you not to move."

My mother said: "I ask you to chew it!"

36. There was a lot of people on the plane. Some people were carrying snakeskin bags, some were carrying live chickens and ducks, and the security inspectors were full of people. Sweating profusely: "I have to pay for the ticket on my back. I'm overweight." "Why do you think so? I had to cut through two sacks of potatoes last time." Another passenger came over and said, "Come on, brother, let's smoke." Just a cigarette, let’s see what I can do with these bags of live chickens. If there is no space in the cabin, they can be tied to the wings of the aircraft. Anyway, they can fly on their own without consuming the aircraft’s fuel..."

. Zaizai was repaired by his father. He ran to his mother to complain: "Mom, what will you do if someone hits your son?" Mom: "I will beat his son to take revenge!" Zaizai: "..."

An old lady is illiterate but likes to listen to the radio and must listen to the weather forecast every day. One day I asked my family during dinner: "I have a question. Do you know where the local area is? It rains almost every day."

37. A little mouse on the cliff waved a short The mother bat next to her jumped down again and again with her front paws, trying to learn to fly. The female bat next to her looked at it and her head was bruised and bloody, and she said worriedly: Its father, if you don’t tell it, it is not our biological child!

38. Ghost: God, next time I am reincarnated, I want to be as white as an angel and have a pair of wings, but I still want to suck blood.

God: Then reincarnate yourself as Hushu Bao.

39. Not long after the ant and the elephant got married, the elephant died. While burying the elephant, the ant cried bitterly: "My dear, why did you die so early? I will bury you if I don't do anything else in my life!"

40. One day when I took the biology test, one of them The question is to guess the name of the bird by looking at its legs. A certain student really didn't understand and angrily tore up the paper and prepared to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him: "Which class are you in and what is your name?" A certain student lifted up his trouser legs and said: "Guess, you guess."

41. A certain gentleman is While practicing riding a bicycle, a pedestrian came in front of me. He panicked and shouted: "Stop! Stop!" The pedestrian stopped in a hurry. Unfortunately, a certain gentleman's riding skills were too poor and he still knocked down a pedestrian. The pedestrian got up and got angry: "You still told me to stop! You are aiming, right?"

42. The father and son were riding a bus.

Son: Dad, when will you arrive?

Father: It will be there when it stops.

Son: When will it stop?

Father: Stop when we arrive.