What are the main reasons for the quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

As the old saying goes, everything goes well at home. But for thousands of years, the discord between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a mountain that people can't cross. Many families also ended in divorce because of the discord between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Then why on earth did this happen? In marriage, there are four reasons why mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not in harmony.

1. The husband didn't realize that there should be only one hostess in the family, and that was his wife.

Two people can live in peace because they are strong and weak, tall and short, diligent and lazy, introverted and extroverted. Similarly, a family can live in harmony because there is only one hostess.

Many men don't realize that they are married and belong to two families with their parents. Why two? Because it's your other half who will spend the rest of your life with you. Mother-in-law and father-in-law are a family and will be together for life.

One day when I was having dinner with my friends, I heard a couple quarreling in the back. The woman said, "How can your mother come into our room? I was scared to death in the middle of last night. " The man replied, "My mother is not afraid that I didn't cover the quilt. She is just kind, so don't compete with her. "

Obviously, the husband and mother-in-law didn't realize that the other party was married and interfered with each other's marriage too much. The result can be imagined. Some people say that when a son gets married, he becomes two families. The most comfortable way to get along with each other is to treat each other as the best neighbors. You can discuss things with each other and give advice to each other, but you must never interfere in each other's lives.

Mother-in-law has always wanted to have her son, and she is reluctant to let go.

Just a few months after the neighbor's son got married, the daughter-in-law clamored for separation. It turns out that her husband has always been a mother-in-law to help clean the room and help wash clothes. So my mother often goes in and out of their room in the morning, and my daughter-in-law and her husband also think this behavior is inappropriate, so her husband won't let my mother into their room.

However, from that day on, her mother-in-law always had mixed feelings about her and found fault with her if something happened. After a long time, the daughter-in-law was inevitably angry, and then she quarreled. The mother-in-law actually claimed to be a fox, hooked up with her son and let herself go back to her mother's house, and never let them be together.

Love seven points is enough, love yourself three points. This sentence applies not only to love, but also to relatives.

The greatness of parents' love for their children lies in that all love in the world is aimed at aggregation and possession, and only parents' love for their children is aimed at separation. Parents love their children, not by tying them around, but by helping them grow up.

The mother-in-law values her son more than her husband.

From 10 to adulthood, I believe that every mother gets far more than she gives. This also leads many mothers to love their children more than their husbands. In fact, we can all understand maternal love, but in marriage, the relationship between husband and wife is the first, followed by children. When the parent-child relationship is above the relationship between husband and wife, there are many problems in life.

Colleague Xiao Wang is in a bad mood recently. He often makes mistakes at work and asks his colleagues to drink after work. He drank a lot that day, and we didn't know until he was drunk. Xiao Wang recently made a girlfriend. When his mother found out, she was very clingy to him. As long as she goes out on a date by herself, my mother always finds various reasons not to date herself. Xiao Wang said a few words to his mother, but his mother cried and scolded her son for being heartless. After so many years of hard work, it was worse than being an outsider.

Some people always like to tell your life what to do under the guise of loving you. To put it bluntly, they think you are his private property. When he thinks someone has touched his property, he will jump out and fight back. But we are all individuals and belong to no one else.

4. A third person other than mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, son.

Recently, my good friends frequently chat with me and say that they have difficulties. I don't know how long it will last at this rate. Her husband is a rural or single family with only one old mother.

After marriage, they bought a house in the city. Because my mother-in-law is old and one is not safe in her hometown, she lives with her mother-in-law. Who knows that after living together, there are more and more contradictions. They were better before they had children. But since she had children, her mother-in-law has always loved children and has always been responsive. I didn't feel anything when I was a child, but it became more and more obvious as the child grew up.

My friend thinks that children's education should start at an early age, and I have quarreled with my mother-in-law several times because of this. Every time we quarrel, my husband will say that it is not easy for my mother to support herself. I hope my friend can understand her mother. I just want to be a director when my child grows up.

Zhihu has often said recently that the reason why he will leave is only enough praise and disappointment. Qian Zhongshu said in Fortress Besieged that marriage is like a besieged city. People outside the city want to go in, and people in the city want to come out.

After reading the above questions, I don't know if you have found out that it seems to be the fault of the "mother-in-law". But is this really the case? In the final analysis, this problem is still my husband's problem.

1. First of all, we must realize who is the person who lives with us. It is the father who accompanies the mother to the end, and the son should love his wife as much as the father.

2. Learn to protect your wife. Once a woman is married, she is a guest to her family, but only an outsider to her husband's family.

3. Learn to be independent. Don't disturb others if you have nothing to do. No one has the obligation to help you, so learn to be independent and take care of others.

4. Learn to set principles for yourself. Without principles, it will only make the other side push your luck, and only yourself will get hurt in the end.

Not all families will have conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will regard their daughter-in-law as their own daughter. In fact, whether a marriage is happy or not lies not in the marriage itself, but in whether the person you spend your life with is worth entrusting.