Work-related jokes

1, the female boss came up and said, "Have you ever had a dream?"

I said, "Yes."

She put down a stack of drawings: "That's good. The client said that the design of the bedroom should have a fantastic feeling. You can fix it. "

Me. . .

2. "Boss, I've been in the company all month, and I haven't been off work at all. You have to work out this salary for me. "

"If you don't go off work, that means you don't go to work. If you don't get paid, that's good. How dare you be too few? "

The logic of the asshole boss

3. The boss Xiao Li likes to play jokes on employees at ordinary times.

Once Xiao Li caused great losses to the company because of his work mistakes. Their boss talked to him and said, "Go to the finance department to settle this month's salary, so don't come tomorrow!"

Xiao Li nodded and turned his head to the accounting office. Then the boss patted Xiao Li on the shoulder and said with a smile, "I'm just joking with you!" You are still so serious! You let the company lose so much money, and you still have the face to settle your salary. Get out of here now! Get out! "

4, the boss is not here today, you can be lazy and walk away early, go to the hospital to pick up the nurse's girlfriend, see the boss lying there infusion, eyes looking at each other!

Me: Boss, I'm coming to see you!

5. What have you done against your will because you are poor? -Go to work.

What is the worst thing you have done because you are poor? -overtime.

Funny workplace jokes 2

1. When I went to the interview, I told the leader that I wanted to be the person in charge of this unit, and the leader said yes. So he asked me to be a temporary worker and said that I would be responsible for what happened in the future.

2. It takes ten months for a woman to give birth to a child, so it takes only one month for ten women to give birth to a child, and overtime can be reduced to two weeks. . . There are five women here. I want to see this child in a month. -the thinking logic of the ——IT company boss

My boss asked me today, "Do you want a pension?"

I said, "Yes!"

The boss led me into the finance room, pointed to an old man and said to me, "This is Laojin, please raise it later."

Soymilk has been served in the company canteen. At first, everyone loved it, but then the taste became weaker and weaker. Maybe there is too much water, and no one wants to drink any more.

So the leftovers are too wasteful, so the canteen changes the soybean milk into boiled water.

Nobody drinks boiled water, and nobody drinks it. Boiling water needs fuel, and no one drinks it yet, so the canteen simply doesn't boil water.

As a result, there is only one bucket of tap water in the soybean milk bucket. . .

When the boss found out, he said, it's a pity that such a big bucket only contains tap water. Keep some goldfish in it!

Last night, the company worked overtime and had an argument with the female leader because of the work. Break up in discord. When I get home, I am always unhappy. My wife asked me what was wrong, and I said nothing. She looked at me suspiciously.

Today's breakfast, the female leader sent me a WeChat voice. Because I was eating, I turned on my voice and only heard her say, everyone is an adult. Let's forget what happened last night. . .

My wife didn't finish listening, and a bowl of soybean milk was directly splashed in my face. . .

Funny workplace joke 3

1. The female colleague sitting opposite me got pregnant and resigned. I asked the leader, "How many months has she been?"

The leader said, "It's only been more than three months."

I was surprised: "As for resigning so early?"

The leader is also outspoken: "She said she was afraid that if she looked at you every day, the child would be ugly when born."

It snowed heavily this morning, and everyone was late for work.

I said, "It was amazing that it snowed last night and this morning!" "

Manager: "You knew it was going to snow, why didn't you come earlier?" ? Only you are late today! "

Me. . .

There is a new female colleague in the company. Once I found out that she called our boss dad, and I decided to pursue her. If I succeed, my status will definitely rise.

A week later, I was fired from the company for harassing my boss's wife.

4. I used to go out for dinner with the leader. In order not to drink, I said I was going to have a baby, and everyone wouldn't let me drink.

After talking like this for a year, once the leader advised me to drink again. I said I was going to have a baby, and the leader suddenly said to me: Xiao Chen! This disease can be cured. . .

5. A colleague goes to the toilet with his boss. The boss looked at his own, then at his own, and said, "Big boy, it's bigger than mine."

Colleague smiled and said, "No, the boss used a lot and polished it."

The boss smiled and said, "You little boys are really something."