Asking for cell phone short message jokes, suitable for girls. Be funny (there is no limit to the number of jokes)

Ever heard of it? Looking back 500 times in previous lives, I brushed it in this life. Close friends like you and me, it seems that they didn't do anything in their last life, so they fucking turned back!

A man married a beautiful young woman at the age of 50. On the second day of his wedding, his neighbors saw the bride walking by the wall and scolded: "liar!" He is a liar. Before marriage, he said that he had savings for more than 30 years. I thought he was talking about money! " Humorous 1063

A man went to the car sales office, took out two thousand yuan and said, "buy a Santana." The clerk said in surprise, "What?" The man said, "Isn't Santana 2000 written at the door?" The clerk replied coldly: "Go to the opposite place where Mercedes-Benz 600 runs." Humor funny 337

There is only one ticket for 6383 Tortoise and Snake Garden. The tortoise got the snake around its neck. When entering the park, the eagle who cut the ticket said, stop. Both the tortoise and the snake were very flustered. The eagle said disdainfully, Look at your tortoise, still wearing a tie! Humor and funny 208

6 168 Donkey, Donkey, Donkey, Xiang Tiange with Bend Neck. The cage is covered with a mouth and a cart is pulled on it. The traffic lights were indistinguishable and the police caught them. To ask where the donkey is, I am touching my mobile phone. Humor 158

6329 ""Dear, I miss you so much, thinking that staring at the screen for a long time will hurt my eyes a lot. You know, your eyes need to rest for about half an hour. So, please do eye exercises with me: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight … Oh! I forgot ""Humorous 135.

God saw that you were thirsty and created water; God saw that you were hungry and created rice; God saw that you didn't have a lovely friend, so he created me; God found that there is no fool in this world and created you by the way. Humor 93

608 1 sea, all water; Hell is a ghost; Sow, it has four legs; The fool looked at the mobile phone, and he grinned. Humorous 87

Honey, I miss you again. My love for you is increasing sharply every day, because someone told me that "pork has gone up in price and can be sold at a good price!" " Humorous 77

One day, a tiger chased a crab and the crab disappeared. The tiger turned around and found a spider in the tree. The tiger smiled and said, "Don't think that I don't know you as soon as you get online!" " "Humor and funny 70

60 15 A pig weighing 300 kg has been thinking about a problem. How can it cross a bridge with a load of 200 kilograms? Do you know that?/You know what? Humorous 68

6043 spends too much time online, please pay attention to eye hygiene. Do as I say: Please turn your head 360 degrees, bite your ears with your teeth and aim your eyes 20 times. Humorous 66

You are very creative, living is your courage, ugliness is not your intention, but God lost his temper and lived! Without you, who will set off the beauty of the world! Humorous 58

6024 hate you, hate you, hate you to death, find a painter to paint you; Draw you on football and kick you to death. Humor and funny 54

You two have nothing to do in the future. Don't be such a mother-in-law, it will affect my watching the sunset-humorous.

6 184 I was with you when I was down and out. When I am sick and injured, I am with you; When I am frustrated in love, you are still by my side ... It's really unlucky to be with you.

6 182 You can reveal other people's shortcomings better than the mirror, you are more knowledgeable than Zhuangzi, and you are more resourceful than your grandson, so everyone calls you the grandson of Jingzhuang! Humorous 38

I have a word "6085", and I will only say it once. You can only express it with your heart, but also understand it with your heart. That's-""get out! ! ! Humorous

Women have small breasts. Dare not promise my boyfriend to propose. Boyfriend asked: Do you have a big steamed bun? The girl said: Yes. On the wedding night, the man rushed out of the door and shouted at Tian: Oh, my God! Wangzai steamed buns are also called steamed buns! ! Humorous 37

6 128 it's strange that swans want to eat toad meat, school flowers want cow dung, and live pigs are not afraid of scalding water and standing upright. Do you think you are like you? Humorous 36

606 1 "When you were away, everyone praised you as a" lover ",that is, the" goods "left in love.

6095 roll a word, I will only say it once, I hope you will show it with actions! Humor 33

One day, a crow was chatting with a sparrow. The sparrow asked, what kind of bird are you? The crow replied, I am a phoenix. The sparrow said, Why are you so Dark Phoenix? The crow said unhappily, What's the matter? I'm the Phoenix who burns boilers! Humorous 27

Look at you, wearing a hat without a brim and pretending to be a cook; Standing on the room to pee, pretending to keep watch; Riding a car and farting, pretending to vent your anger slowly! Hey, let me tell you what to do. All right, work hard. Humorous 25

602 1 It's better to take a closer look at you. Humor 23

It's late at night, and I'm walking alone in the cold street with a lonely heart and nowhere to go. I always think of you, miss you and look forward to you. I really want to say to you loudly ... Would you please invite me to dinner? Humor 23

You are beautiful, and the frog's belly is bowlegged; Giraffe's neck and toad's mouth; Seeing you is like seeing a ghost. Humor 23

62 14 brain teasers: a, b, c, d, I went up the mountain to cut wood and met a bubble of shit. A, b, d didn't step on it. Who stepped on it? Humor 23

6 133 piggy cried sadly, and his mother asked, why are you crying? The pig said, I feel stupid. Mother comforted: don't cry, the person reading this news is more stupid than you. Humor 23

6 1 12 When you walk on a single-plank bridge, you find a tiger in front and a wolf behind. How did you get there? I passed out. Humor 23

6069 men are afraid of four things: they are afraid that their young lady will get sick, that their lover will get pregnant, that people will write letters, and that their wives will commit suicide. What are you afraid of? Humor and funny 22

6304 is happy and carefree I am really infatuated with you, worried about you, distressed for you, and once sad and infatuated. I dare not change my mind. Don't doubt. I miss you very much, and I am most afraid that you are unintentional. Humorous 19

633 1 """Raindrops will turn into coffee and seeds will blossom roses. Loneliness is not no one to accompany you, but no one to drink coffee. I am tired all the way, and I am drunk when I touch the rain. Only friends are the most precious! " ""humorous 19

63 14 do you know the four idiots today: those who love themselves, those who take medicine without illness or disaster, those whose contracts are invalid, and those who giggle while listening to their mobile phones! Humorous 18

An old man's daughter-in-law just gave birth to a boy. He wants to see his grandson. The nurse advised: the parturient needs to rest, so don't go to see it. Besides, it's a grandson if you look at it, but it's also a grandson if you don't look at it. Anyway, you are a grandson. Humorous 18

Three mice are bragging together. A said, "I eat rat poison as a snack every day." B said, "I do morning exercises on the mousetrap every morning." C said, "I don't have time to talk nonsense with you. I'm going home to hug the cat to sleep! " Humorous 17

60 17 Please call 1 10 toll-free number to win a 15-day premium tour. Now call back and send mobile phones, posters of young dangerous people, etc. The top ten will get a photo of the detention center, and ten thousand people will touch each other. Humorous 16

Wave when you feel happy, stamp your feet when you feel happy, and shake your head when you feel happy. Have a good time. ............................................................................................................................................................................. is humorous 16.

600 1 A jet fighter whizzed past in the sky, and the bird was surprised to see it. Bird: Mom, why does that bird fly so fast? Mother Bird: Try setting a fire on your ass! Humor 15

Do you know the names of Li Bai's wife and daughter? I don't know. What about you? . Let me tell you: Li Bai's wife is Zhao and her daughter is Zhao. Why do you see it? There are poems to prove it. The incense burner in the sunshine emits purple smoke. Humorous 15.

During the military training of freshmen in 6373, the company commander said, "One class kills chickens, the other steals eggs, and I'll cook porridge. Do you understand? " The monitor's original intention is: class one shoots, class two throws eggs, and I'll demonstrate.

Without the wind, the clouds will not move; Fish can't swim without water; If there is no love, tears will not flow, if there is no you ... stupid people will not exist. Humorous 14

Several people watched the sunrise, one pointed to the treetops and said, I saw it, and others said they saw it. At this time, someone came out from behind the tree with trousers: I saw it when I saw it. What are you yelling about? ! Humorous 12

Dear users, because your mobile phone often receives yellow short messages, some functions of your mobile phone will be turned off. Please go to the business room to handle the fine formalities! Humorous 1 1

6045 oh! I can sue you for slander if you talk like that. Humorous 10

6 198 Do you want to have a good tooth? Here are three lessons for you: first, rinse your mouth after meals and brush your teeth in the morning and evening; Second, go to the hospital for a dental examination every two years; Third, mind your own business. Humorous 10

In the park, a child walked up to an old woman. "Grandma, are your teeth all right?" """No, it's all dropped." "So the child took out a bag of walnuts." "Please hold it for me while I play ball." ""humorous 10

6 143 tells you a secret of getting rich. Don't tell anyone! Give you half the money! Is it doubled? ! Humor 9

6 18 1 Actually, you are not that good, but you are more beautiful, gentle, intelligent, virtuous, sensible, generous and modest than other girls ...

God thought you were thirsty, so he created water. God thought you were hungry, so he created food. God thinks you have no lovely friends, so he created me. God saw that there were no fools in the world, so he created you.