Jokes related to the universe

In 20XX, an old man was dying and said to his grandson with trembling lips, "The child ... wait ... Naruto ... has completely come out, so you must ... burn ... give me the CD, and I want to watch it below." The child said, "Don't worry, Grandpa, I will try my best to live to that day." Grandpa closed his eyes with satisfaction after listening to his grandson. 2 1XX, a critically ill old man knelt in front of his grave and burst into tears: "grandson, I have been waiting for the complete works for so many years. I am ashamed of my ancestors! " Say that finish, anger toward, the whole body quiver two quiver will not move. Those eyes are still wide open and die unsatisfied! ! Grandson died and went to heaven. One day, he met God, and God said, I can grant you a wish. He said, "Can you sink the island of Japan?" God said: this is too difficult, change it. Sun Tzu added, "Then I want the complete works of Naruto." God wiped the sweat from his head and said, "What's your last wish? Bring me the globe and let me see ... "

The Canadian space agency began to send astronauts into space for the first time, but they soon got a report that astronauts could not write with ballpoint pens in weightlessness. So it took them 10 years,1200 million dollars, and scientists finally invented the ballpoint pen. This pen is suitable for weightlessness, handstand, water, any flat object, MINUS 300 degrees Celsius.

Russians have been using pencils in space. When Canadians know ... they are so fucking embarrassed ... sorry ~ ~

The black hole swallowed up the earth, almost everyone died, and only three people escaped by plane. The first man asked, "What did you bring?" . The first man said, "I took all the technology with me. If we find a new planet, we can rebuild our homes. " The second man said, "I brought some important tools and some dangerous weapons." We can open the world in the new world. " At the same time, they asked, "Why do you ask so many questions?" The leader sighed. "Everyone forgot to bring a woman out." The end of the world:

20 12 12 2 1:

8:00: People get up at the same time, waiting for the final judgment.

12:00: The first solar storm struck, the earth's magnetic pole was deflected, communication was completely cut off, thousands of atomic bombs were launched at the same time, tens of thousands of areas were razed to the ground, and people dragged the irradiated bodies to Tibet.

18:00: Tibet is overcrowded and the ark is ready to run.

19:00: The ark is full of survivors, ready to be flooded and put into operation.

20:00: The water didn't come up.

2 1:00: It was dark and God appeared. People think it's time to start the doomsday trial.

As a result, God said a word and people all over the world were killed by thunder. He said, "I'm sorry! Sorry, the time of judgment day is wrong. Let's go home. I also want to go home and wash my feet.