That year, I was only eighteen years old

The pieces of paper filled with Arabic numerals changed from three digits to two digits, and finally to one digit. Time seemed to fly by in an instant, giving people invisible pressure.

Every morning when I walk into the classroom, I tear off a piece of paper hanging next to the blackboard with the countdown to the college entrance examination written on it. Watching it become thinner day by day, until the last piece is gone, I know that this is another time in my life. The turning point has come to me. That year, I was eighteen years old.

In order to get to the university of my dreams, I get up early and work hard every day, fully complying with the saying "go to bed later than a dog and wake up earlier than a chicken." In my heart, I always felt that as long as I work hard, I will be rewarded. But later I discovered that blind study is useless. Pretending to be very busy studying every day, even studying during breaks, is just for temporary gain. Just peace of mind. Those days not only carried my own dreams, but also carried the expectations of my parents for me. However, you have to digest it all by yourself. No one gives you advice or guidance. There is only pressure. That year, the younger brother and sister who were in the rebellious stage happened to be in the third grade of junior high school and were also faced with the problem of entering higher schools.

My younger sister’s grades have been poor since elementary school, and the same was true in junior high school, so she didn’t want to go to high school, but wanted to go to a vocational school. When graduation was approaching, various schools rushed to the school. In admissions, for the sake of student recruitment, every school tries to show the best of its own school. As a fourteen-year-old or fifteen-year-old student with no plans for the future, and classmates expressing their own opinions, as a sister, I naturally Give your own advice. On the other hand, although my younger brother's grades are not very good, he is not willing to just go to a secondary vocational school and end his academic career hastily. Therefore, facing the application process is another unknown problem. On the one hand, he is worried about himself. If they fail to pass the exam, on the one hand, they are worried that their voluntary filling is not good enough, as if I am omnipotent and they have to find me for everything. However, I am not omnipotent. I cannot control their lives. I am afraid that one of my suggestions will let them Mistaken steps. But my parents didn’t understand this aspect at all, so I had to take care of it. However, at that time, I was facing the pressure of the college entrance examination. With my grades in the middle and lower reaches, I really wanted to cry without tears. Who could I tell? My mother always She called me several times to complain that her younger siblings were disobedient, didn't understand their parents' hardships, didn't spend money sparingly, always quarreled with her, etc. While I had to appease my mother, I had to give my younger siblings advice and understand the situation, and at the same time, I had to carry forward my own dreams and my parents' expectations. On the 200-meter track on the playground, I ran tirelessly in circles, leaving countless youthful footprints. That year, I was eighteen years old.

Sometimes I wonder, who do people live for? They all say not to care about other people’s opinions, but how many people do it? At least I try my best to ignore other people’s opinions, but under the guidance of my parents, I hope I can't do it. My classmates always say that I am like an old woman who always worries about other people's affairs. In fact, I think so myself. I also want to live a free and easy life and think more about myself, but in the end I still can't do it.

When I was eighteen years old, I also struggled for my dream. Although I did not do well in the college entrance examination that year, I lived a fulfilling life during those days. Although no one close to me knew when I would take the college entrance examination, and no one gave me encouragement or advice, I never gave up the idea of ??going to college until the moment of the exam. The day my father picked me up after the college entrance examination, I told him that I did not do well in the exam. I still remember his seemingly unintentional joke at that time. I asked him if he wanted to go to dinner, and he smiled and said, "I'm angry." I’m full and can’t eat anymore.” In fact, I understand that he had great expectations for me, but I let him down.

After the results came out, I hesitated again and again. Finally, due to my unwillingness and guilt towards my parents, I resolutely chose to repeat the course. Of course, no one could analyze the pros and cons of repeating the course for me. Perhaps for those who are stubborn, once they have decided on something, it is difficult to change it. Even if they hit their heads and bleed bloody, they will insist on finishing the path they choose, and they will finish it on their knees. I was eighteen years old that year, but even before I turned eighteen, my parents had stopped making decisions about my affairs.