80 classic humorous quotations

Teasing has become a way for everyone to tease each other and decompress. Here are 80 classic teasing quotations I sent you. I want to remind you that people who laugh less should be careful.

80 classic humorous quotations

1 Cucumber must be filmed, and life must be high!

I ate a bottle by mistake? Wuji Baifeng Pill? . That's great. I have nosebleeds for a few days every month.

Life is sometimes like taking a shit, but what you have worked so hard to pull out is a fart.

I am short of money, but I am not fucking wicked!

Brother, I'll throw a brick first. If there is jade, just smash it.

Say it out loud if you love me! Hate me and hide it in your heart all your life!

You don't need electricity to speak loudly.

I could have killed your father ten years ago, and I could have killed you ten years later?

Go to hell, dead mosquito!

9 love is like poop; Once the water is washed away, it will never come back.

10 I always treat handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always look at me like this.

1 1 The representative figure of charm: Master Kong. Thousands of people soak it every day.

12 spring is a high incidence of colds and feelings. Some people accidentally caught a cold, and some people accidentally fell in love. I belong to the former.

13 I killed Baidu yesterday. Before I died, he asked me why I killed him. I just sneer: you know too much.

14 ? Whatever. If you think you have no problem, you can do anything. As long as it is convenient and simple, how can you waste so much time?

15 life lies in sports, and being an official lies in activities. This article is quoted from Daquan.com.

16 Lie down where you fell.

17 lived for more than 20 years and failed to do anything for the motherland and people. Every time he thinks about it, his heart aches.

18 It got dark in the middle of the night, and I suddenly wanted to study, but it was already dawn when I found the candle?

19 You know that God is unfair. You can choose to love me or not, but I can only choose to love you or love you more.

When 20 horses are coquettish, they jump, when donkeys are coquettish, they bark, when men are coquettish, they become warped, when women are coquettish, they have to, and the most coquettish ones keep smiling at their mobile phones.

2 1 All the problems in the world can be used? What do you care? And then what? What do I care? To answer, I suddenly found fart so busy.

In the eyes of pigs, perhaps the stupidest animal in the world is man.

Q: What do you like about me?

A: I like you to stay away from me!

Yesterday, I let a mosquito find you, let it tell you that I miss you very much, and let it kiss you for me, because now I can't get close to you!

It will tell you how much I miss you!

You asked me how much I love you?

A pimple represents my heart!

At the age of 25, he was pulled out before he could take part in an affair.

Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

Asking what the world is like makes people want to vomit when they eat it.

When a woman is rich and beautiful, there will be tragedy.

What you have said can be counted, and people you like have to change every day.

Do you think the sourest feeling is jealousy? No, the sourest feeling is that you have no right to be jealous.

3 1 As the saying goes, the prime minister can punt in his stomach; But as the saying goes, no revenge is not a gentleman!

Maturity is not the aging of the heart, but the tears in the eyes but still smiling.

The only criterion for me to test whether a person is sexy is whether he eats much or not, and whether he eats well or not.

Men's upper body is self-cultivation, while their lower body is essence.

You owe me a hug to read it;

Delete it and owe me a kiss;

Save it, owe me an appointment;

If you answer that you owe me everything;

If you don't come back, you are mine.

Choose!

It is better to spend money than to spend it every day.

Wives generally don't care much about men's hearts, but they care more about whether men's money bags are full.

Kindness means bia ji doesn't eat meat when others are hungry ~ ~

Women's clothes are called capital, and men's clothes are called perverts.

Miss 40' s beard looks so euphemistic, she must be a lady!

4 1 Be careful, I always lead an honest and clean life.

It doesn't matter if a person is poor, but he must have backbone and talent, otherwise he will only be a waste even if he studies all his life.

The first time I saw you, I said to myself: You are my goal in this life. I want to pursue you and hug you. I want to announce: I love you RMB.

Everyone thought it would be forever far away, but in fact it might be short and you can't see it.

If you want to get rich, sell wine and vinegar to officials.

Those slutty female netizens really hurt me. Why do you fuck so many men and never get me?

I often tell myself not to hang myself in the tree, and I got lost in the forest.

Women will eventually run out of water, while men will eventually go bald.

Ebay is a shark in the sea, and Taobao is a crocodile in the Yangtze River. Crocodiles are fighting sharks in the sea. As a result, it is conceivable that we should lead sharks to the Yangtze River.

On a crowded bus, a girl suddenly shouted:

Stop squeezing! Stop squeezing! Squeeze all the milk out! (She is holding yogurt. )

5 1 If I am late in the morning, I think I will like it.

More annoying, more annoying, more annoying, the boss's daily tasks are always endless, you have to ask me when I will go online, I said it is basically difficult.

I like patriotic people, because my surname is Guo.

54 Fear is love, and love is fear; Telling your wife everything is still a gentleman!

Proud of lewdness, intoxicated with elegance.

Generally speaking, intervention is out of kindness, intervention is ulterior motives.

Whenever I have difficulties, I read the Tibetan scriptures: Oh, what, Cleisthenes? Are you kidding? ,

All the money belongs to me!

I once had a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but put them in a pot to stew soup.

You gradually know that those who are kind to themselves will become less and less as time goes by.

You have no head, or your head is moldy! !

6 1 Adults are overdue children, and the elderly are failed adults. A complete collection of quotations com

Don't pursue me, I want to tell you: the back waves of the Yangtze River push the front waves, and the front waves die on the beach.

After the waves continue to rise, they will die on the beach. ? Give it up!

Do you know why they don't fall in love when they go to college? Because they had it in high school.

One day, a tiger chased a crab and the crab disappeared. The tiger turned around and found a spider in the tree. The tiger said with a smile, don't think that I don't know you when you are online!

65 people can't come back. It's okay. Get the money back.

My girlfriend and I are separated. In fact, our sex life is quite harmonious. I am impotent and she is indifferent.

Because of my work, I have been unable to answer the phone calls of countless friends, and the most painful thing is this.

If you give me a chance, I will say three words: I will leave.

If there must be a deadline for these three words, I hope it is: a period of time!

Everyone said that the West Lake was beautiful, and sure enough, it was full of water. A frog flew down from 3,000 feet and jumped into the water.

A frog with a mouth, two eyes and four legs jumped into the water.

69 students, simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first.

7 1 the bright line at the foot of my bed, hey, there is a bottle of hand cream on the ground.

Do you want to get rich? Do you want to get lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight?

Do you want to be young forever? Stop dreaming and work hard!

I am playing gobang. I lost all my pants when I was distracted last time, and I will be photographed naked if I lose again this time!

I don't want anyone to see me. I'll call you back after the game.

Blind date is distribution, love is direct selling, and throwing hydrangeas to attract relatives is bidding.

75 diaosi's dream is to count money and get cramps in her hands, but the reality is to count money and wake up naturally.

A rich man is afraid that others will know that he has money, and a poor man is afraid that others will know that he has no money.

Love is not what you want to buy, but what you want to sell.

What is it, 6 inches long and 2 inches wide, with a small head on it, that women are obsessed with?

Wrong thinking, I know you are a big pervert. This is a coin.

Money is a passport, but sometimes it can kill people.

I won't tell you if you kill me. You haven't played the honey trap yet!