The school will hold an art festival recently. I want some good textbook plays, some humorous ones, with 3 to 5 people performing. I want scripts! ! !

Textbook play

Farewell My Concubine

Time: One night at the end of the Chu-Han War

Location: Gaixia

Characters: Xiang Yu, Yu Ji, Xiang Zhuang, Tao Yao, Secretary of the Army

The curtain begins. In the simple barracks, Yu Ji and her maid Tao Yao were sitting on the table in the middle of the background with wild flowers and dead grass in a vase.

Taoyao: Madam, do you think this is okay?

Yu Ji: It’s okay.

(Voiceover begins. Xiang Yu: "Xiang Zhuang, my order is to set up camp here today. Wait until tomorrow, then follow me into the Han camp and capture the rogue Liu Bang!" Xiang Yu said as he spoke (Part 1)

Yu Ji and Tao Yao (looking at each other, happily): The king is back.

Yu Ji (welcoming):

Yao Yao (giving a gift):

(Tao Yao quietly stepped back after giving a gift.)

Xiang Yu (nodding): Yeah. (See the flowers) Oh? It's rare that you still have such a leisurely mood.

Yu Ji: In this wilderness, there are only wild flowers and dead grass. I can steal a moment of joy. I only hope that your Majesty will be happy.

Xiang Yu: Alas. Tell me how to be happy. Think of me, Xiang Yu, who is capable of lifting mountains and lifting cauldrons, and whose martial arts are unparalleled in the world. I raised my army in troubled times, and in three years I was able to rouse the princes. In eight years, my clan was destroyed and the Qin Dynasty was tyrannized, and the world was divided. I was responsible for the government, and I was called the Overlord. Who in recent times could accomplish such a great undertaking? ! Seeing that the emperor's career is about to be completed, I hate that rogue Liu Bang for stealing my kingdom and destroying my career in a villain's way! (Bitterly) Liu Bang, old thief, I, Xiang Yu, swear to be incompatible with you! Tomorrow I will take your head!

Yu Ji: Your Majesty, now we have few soldiers and have run out of food. In the battle tomorrow, the enemy will be outnumbered and we will be outnumbered, and the odds are stacked against us. Why don't you, your Majesty, cross the Wujiang River eastward, regain your strength, and create a new world?

Xiang Yu: Reinvigorate and create a new world? ! (Shakes head). I remember back then, when I, Xiang Yu, led his troops to the west, burning cauldrons and sinking boats, fighting with iron horses, and singing triumphant songs all the way. I wanted to achieve great success and return home in glory. But now the country is in decline, and the hero has nowhere to go. How can I face the elders from Jiangdong? !

Yu Ji: The land of Chu is my hometown, Your Majesty...

(Yu Ji didn’t finish her words, Chu songs suddenly spread everywhere).

Xiang Yu (startled): Listen, Yu Ji, (shocked) What is this sound? !

Yu Ji (surprised): This is a Chu folk song!

Xiang Yu (shocked): Ah, could it be that all the Chu land has been captured by the Han army? ! Why are there so many people in Chu? !

Yu Ji (forcing herself to calm down, comforting): Your Majesty, that Liu Bang is treacherous, maybe this is another trick of his.

Xiang Zhuang (presses his sword and hurriedly steps forward): Your Majesty! It is surrounded by Han troops on all sides. They sang songs of Chu, the soldiers were awakened, and the morale of the army was in turmoil!

Xiang Yu: Liu Bang is an old thief! Regardless of the truth or the conspiracy, you are disturbing our military morale! Disrupt my position! You are so vicious! Stop it! Xiangzhuang, give me my order! If anyone takes advantage of this to cause trouble, behead him!

(Xiang Zhuang accepted the order and left)

Xiang Yu: Yu Ji, Jiangdong is no longer accessible! (Long sigh) I think that Xiang Yu's life achievements will be ruined here today, (angrily and hatefully) Humph! Tomorrow, I will definitely enter the Han camp and fight to the death with the old thief Liu Bang!

Yu Ji: Your Majesty! Think long term!

Xiang Yu: Now that the matter has come to this, how can we make a long-term plan? ! But, when I leave tomorrow, you...

Yu Ji: Your Majesty, you don’t have to take care of me.

Xiang Yu: Yu Ji, you have followed me to the north and south all your life, fighting on the battlefield, and suffering all the hardships in the world. I wanted to wait until I became the emperor of the world and let you enjoy all the glory and wealth, but now...

Yu Ji: Your Majesty, life and death are like returning home, and wealth is nothing but clouds. It is enough for me as a concubine to stay by the king's side at this moment.

Xiang Yu: OK, OK! Wu Zhui is my good horse, and Yu Ji is my confidant. Come on, bring me some wine! Yu Ji, drink with me tonight!

Yu Ji: Your Majesty...

(Tao Yao brings up the wine. Pour wine for the two of them, come down. Then Yu Ji pours wine.)

Xiang Yu (raising his glass, standing up and looking into the sky): This glass of wine is dedicated to my uncle Xiang Liang. The hegemony of Western Chu fell into my hands. I'm sorry for you, kid. (Sprinkle wine on the ground. Concubine Yu also sprinkles wine on the ground, and then pours wine.) The second cup of wine is for my Yafu Fan Zeng. Father, Xiang Yu didn't listen to your advice, which led to today's disaster. Yafu, I hope your spirit in heaven will help me kill the old thief Liu Bang tomorrow. (Spill wine on the ground.

) For the third cup, I want to sacrifice my eight thousand descendants from Jiangdong. It’s all because of me that you are the wrongdoers you are today! (Yu Ji followed him and spilled wine on the ground.)

Xiang Yu: Heaven! You mistakenly love the scoundrel Liu Bang! God is unfair! I'm not willing to give in! (Drink it all in one gulp, then drink it one sentence at a time. Recite generously and tragically) The strength is overwhelming and the world is unparalleled, but the times are unfavorable and the virtues will not fade away. There is nothing you can do if your glory is not gone, but there is nothing you can do if you are worried.

Yu Ji (great sadness, tears): Your Majesty!

Xiang Zhuang (Part 1): Your Majesty, everyone is calm.

Xiang Yu: Xiang Zhuang, my good brother, you came just in time! Come, please write down this song with me. It is passed down to future generations to know that I, Xiang Yu, stand tall on the sky and the earth, and today I am trapped in Gaixia. It is the sky that kills me, and it is not a crime of war! Taoyao, play music! Xiang Zhuang, Yu Ji, draw your sword and dance with me!

(Everyone played music, danced swords, and wrote)

(Xiang Yu drank and sang, crying in pain)

Xiang Yu: (Stop singing, look up to the sky Howling, smiling and crying), the sky is unfair! God will kill me!

Yu Ji (raises sword): Your Majesty, the BMW helps you kill the enemy, Yu Ji is just a drag. I went! (Kills himself, falls to the ground)

Everyone (shocked): Madam!

(Taoyao supports Yu Ji)

Xiang Yu: (the cup falls and shatters) Yu Ji! My Yu Ji! (Run to catch Yu Ji)

Yu Ji: Your Majesty, Yu Ji was born for you in the past, and she dies for you today! (Death)

(Xiang Yu cried out in great pain): Yu Ji!

(Everyone shouted, Taoyao burst into tears): Madam!

(The lights dim, the lights focus on Xiang Yu)

Xiang Yu (draws sword, eyes angry): Xiang Zhuang, pass my order! Get on your horse now! Follow me southward into the Han camp!

(War drums sound)

The curtain falls. End

Funny textbook drama "The Crow and the Fox"

Characters: Crow A, Crow B, (replaced by A and B in the text), fox.

Narration: This is a true story that happened during a period when pork prices soared. In a very poor forest, Miss Crow received two kilograms of pork from a kind person~~~~~

(The stage lights flashed on, A and B squatted down and stared at the pork in surprise)

A and B: Wow! Pork (yelling)

B: If I could taste a piece, even a small piece, I would be satisfied. (Swallowing)

A: (Hurrying to hold the meat in his arms) No, didn’t you see it says “Miss Wang Xiaoya will take it”. This is mine, no one can hit it. its idea.

B: But we are friends, why don’t we try a piece?

A: I already said no, my relatives add up to a lot, and I don’t have enough to eat. I will go home by myself, I don’t need you to send me off~~~~

B: You~~~ are so selfish, hum~~~ (step down)

A: These friends, there are Meat reminds me of you, I’m not that stupid~~~Haha, don’t worry about the Spring Festival, twice-cooked pork, fish-flavored shredded pork, braised pork ribs~~~Hahaha~~~~

Narration: Crow just now The lady's conversation was heard by the fox hiding behind the tree. The cunning fox wanted to eat the meat, so he thought of a trick~~~~

Fox: oh, my dear~~~What's going on? Possible, no~~~This is absolutely impossible! Impossible! (Talking to himself)

A: Hey, isn’t this a cunning and insidious fox?

Fox: Yes, that’s right~~~wrong, I am a fox, a messenger of wisdom and courage!

A: (To the audience) I heard that this fox is very cunning. He must be trying to kill me this time. I have to be careful~~~

Fox: (Look carefully Wearing A) How is this possible

A: What’s wrong with me?

Fox: Do you have a twin sister?

A: No.

Fox: That’s really weird.

,

A: What’s wrong with me, please tell me~~~

Fox: You and Mona Lisa were hatched from the same egg, they are exactly the same! !

A: Really? Isn’t that right~~~Mr. Fox, you are here for these two pounds of meat~~~Hehe~~~I will not be fooled by you! ! You blow slowly, I'm going back to eat meat~~~ (turns around and walks away)

Fox: Hey! It’s so similar, maybe Leonardo da Vinci didn’t know there was a second Mona Lisa in the world! Everyone, look at this walking posture. It’s a standard international model walk. It’s professional~~~Look again

This messy and black hair is stuck on this cute crow’s head. Wow~~ ~The watery little eyes and the freckles around the nose, every part and every smile are exactly the same as Mona Lisa

. It’s amazing. Isn’t this a precious heritage in the world? If you travel around the world, wouldn’t you become a star?

A: (asked with a smile) Haha~~~Mr. Fox, I really Does it look similar to the one called Mona Lisa?

Fox: More than similar, you are Mona Lisa~~~

A: Then you think I have a chance to get ahead, Become a star?

Fox: Well~~~You have the conditions, and becoming a star is only a matter of time~~~

A: (Eagerly) Just what?

Fox: It needs packaging to have star quality!

A: Is my outfit okay?

Fox: It’s okay, black top, black pants, wow~~~and black socks,——

A: But we crows are all black Yes, is it different?

Fox: How can this be the same? Your look is all black, and they are basically gray. Your black is shiny and special. Why didn’t you know the Mona Lisa painted by Leonardo da Vinci? Paint the whole body?

A: Why?

Fox: It’s because she was dressed entirely in black, which is exactly the same as you are now! What are you holding in your arms

A: Pork!

Fox: oh! dear ~~~ Do you think Andy Lau would hold a piece of pork and sing to the fans during his concert? Tacky! ! Money doesn't matter when you become a star. If you are rich, you can take the pig to the supermarket.

You can sleep with the pig in the pigsty at night,~~~~

A: Yes, meat is nothing, hahaha~ ~~I will give this pork to you. When I become rich in the future, I will never forget you as my enlightenment teacher!

Fox: (smirking) By the way, did you know that Mona Lisa has another specialty? Once you learn it, you will be 90% successful.

A: What are your specialties? Sing? I have a great crow's mouth and a great voice. Sing "Mona Lisa, who is she~~~~~~~"

Fox: Wait~~~your singing voice is indeed beautiful. But Mona Lisa can't sing, she can only dance "hula"

A: Hula

Fox: Practice slowly, and one day you will succeed. , I have to leave beforehand! ! Come on! ! come on! ! !

A: Come on! Walk slowly, thank you~~~Wait a moment! !

(The fox was startled)

A: Take this pork and have a good year! Bye-Bye! !

Fox: I almost forgot about the fruits of my labor.

Come on! ! !

(A danced hula)

A: I almost missed this opportunity to become famous. Fortunately, Mr. Fox reminded me, otherwise my beautiful face would have been wasted. ~~~

(B comes on stage)

B: Hey! Xiaoya, what are you doing? Lose weight?

A: Don’t disturb me, I’m practicing hula!

B: Hula? !

A: Don’t you think I look like a human being?

B: You look like your parents~~~

A: Look carefully, my eyes and hair~~~don’t they look like the ones painted by Beethoven? Narissa?

B: (Can’t help laughing) Mona Lisa? Haha~~~You look like Mona Lisa hahaha~~~Who said that? ~~

A: Mr. Fox, he said that I can become a star if I practice this hula dance! !

B: Haha~~~ Xiaoya, you were deceived by that cunning fox. Yesterday, he said that the black bear aunt next door looked like Maggie Cheung and deceived the aunt into taking away a chicken leg.

A: (In a daze) Damn it, my two kilograms of pork, you stinky fox, give me back the pork. What should I do to celebrate the New Year~~~~~ (crying)

B: Xiaoya, we are friends, why don’t you come to my house to celebrate the New Year~~~

A: Oh my Friends, at first I blamed me, what should we eat on New Year’s Eve

B: Boiled potatoes!

A: (Crying) My twice-cooked pork, fish-flavored shredded pork, and braised pork ribs! ! ~~~~

(End)

Character Introduction: The Emperor’s New Clothes

The Emperor

Left Guard. Right Guard

A is a liar. B is a liar

Loyal minister

Eight guards

Passengers A, B, C and D

Prologue

[Act: The lights dim, Liar A and Liar B appear]

Liar A: I heard that the emperor here spends all his money on beautiful clothes. Buy new clothes.

Liar B: Ah! Indeed, he cared neither for his army, nor for going to the theatre, nor for riding in a carriage to the park, except to show off his new clothes. He has to change a set of clothes every hour of every day, and he lives in the locker room almost all year round.

Liar A: (said cryptically) Brother, it seems our good luck has arrived!

Liar B: (said happily) Haha! What a great idea! What a great idea! What a great idea!

Liar A and B: Just do what you say and never slack off. The show is about to begin. Just wait and see!

Scene 1

Narration: His Majesty has arrived!

[The symphony started, and the eight guards stood at attention and showed off their coolness. As the music started, the emperor walked into the arena as a model, showing off his beautiful clothes as he walked. Finally, when the music ended, the emperor sat back. After taking the seat, the guards immediately changed into eight-character figures and stood in front of the emperor]

The Emperor: (Singing to express the troubles in his heart) Recently I have been annoyed, annoyed, annoyed, alas! this! A man is matched with clothes and a horse is matched with a saddle. I, the emperor, do not have to worry about having no clothes to wear. What worries me is that time has not spared me and has left me with age spots and age spots on my face.

(Speaking while looking in the mirror)

Minister: I am known as the "know-it-all", and I am specially designed to take credit for the emperor. What brand is popular nowadays, and who has the most stylish hairstyle. If you have anything to do, you can call me "the know-it-all". The emperor is worried about something recently. Seriously, it’s good to take credit for presenting a clever idea, so it’s good to take credit! See Your Majesty!

Emperor: My most loyal minister, how have you done the things I asked you to do?

Minister: Let me report to your majesty that everything is done. They claim that they can weave the most beautiful clothes in the world, and they also studied in France, England, and Germany are the best at image design!

Emperor: Oh! quick! Bring them up quickly!

Minister: I obey your Majesty!

[The eight guards shouted "pass" in unison, and then changed from a figure of eight to a figure of one, standing behind the emperor, the two liars came on stage]

Liar A and B: See your majesty!

Emperor: Are you those two very famous image designers?

Liar A: Yes! His Majesty! Please see this is our business card!

Emperor: Oh! Huiyuan Shenbao Co., Ltd.

Liar B: Your Majesty, you got it wrong!

Emperor: Oh! Multinational Limited Liability Image Design Corporation, General Manager. Deputy General Manager! I heard that you can weave the most beautiful fabrics in the world?

Liar A: Yes, Your Majesty! This kind of cloth is not only beautiful, but only noble and generous people like you are worthy of wearing clothes woven from this kind of cloth.

Liar B: And this kind of cloth also has a strange function.

Emperor: Oh! What strange function?

Liar B: Anyone who is incompetent or hopelessly stupid cannot see the clothes woven from this cloth!

Emperor: (Step aside! Talking to himself) These are exactly the clothes I need. By wearing these clothes, I can see who are qualified for the job in my kingdom. , who are incompetent, who are smart, and who are stupid. This provides a solid foundation for me to implement the layoff policy of "better troops and simpler administration". good! I order you both to weave this kind of cloth immediately, and to make it the best!

Liar A and B: I obey your Majesty! But Your Majesty does not have the best, only better!

Liar A: But Your Majesty, in order to weave you dazzling fabrics!

Liar B: In order to let His Majesty wear rare clothes!

Liar A and B: We also need some of the finest raw silk and the purest gold!

Emperor: Okay, I will ask my most loyal minister to send it to you later. My most loyal minister.

Minister: Yes, Your Majesty!

Emperor: I leave this matter to you! Don't let me down!

Minister: I obey your Majesty! His Majesty! It's time for you to change clothes!

Emperor: OK! Return to the palace!

[The eight guards walked from the inside to the outside, walking in parallel in a straight line, and finally ended with the emperor to the right]

Second Scene

Narration: The Emperor I really want to know how the clothes are woven? So a loyal minister was sent to check!

[The loyal minister enters]

Minister: You see your majesty is happy, but my fate is so pitiful. In order to supervise the two of them, he actually sent me as a spy!

[The two liars were eating and drinking when they suddenly heard footsteps outside and immediately pretended to be weaving]

How did you two do? Don't be lazy!

Liar A: Mr. Minister, we are working overtime. I think it will not be long before this beautiful cloth is completed!

Minister: Oh! Can you give me a sneak peek?

Liar B: Of course! Sir, please come this way, please come here, please come this way.

Sir, please see this is the most beautiful cloth!

Minister: This, this, this. I looked, looked down, looked left, looked right. My eyes were confused. I looked and looked and thought again and again. Could it be that I am color blind? Color blind? Oh my God! May God have mercy on me! Am I stupid? I have never doubted myself. Am I incompetent? No, I must not let anyone know that I cannot see the cloth!

Liar A: Mr. Minister, can’t you see the beautiful fabric?

Minister: I am the smartest minister in this palace, how could I not see it!

Liar A and B: Mr. Minister, don’t you have any opinions at all?

Minister: Beautiful! Wonderful! How wonderful! I want to put on my eyes and appreciate it carefully. oh! What a beautiful pattern! What a beautiful color! I want to repay Your Majesty! I am very happy with this fabric! Very satisfied! His Majesty!

Liar A: Smart!

Liar B: Smart!

Liar A and B: (said in unison) Smart!

Scene 3

Narration: After a few days, the emperor felt uneasy and decided to go and see for himself, so he took a few followers and the loyal minister with him. Get up and go to where the two liars are knitting!

Narration: His Majesty has arrived!

Minister: Your Majesty, please see, this is the most beautiful cloth!

Emperor: Minister! Tell me! Is this cloth beautiful?

Minister: Your Majesty! Seriously! This cloth is stunning!

Emperor: My most loyal minister! Is this cloth really beautiful?

Minister: Yes, Your Majesty! This fabric is absolutely stunning!

Emperor: (To himself) Strange, I can’t see anything. Am I a stupid person? This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen and I can't tell anyone that I can't see the dress! (Suddenly speaking loudly) Yeah! Yes, yes! oops! oops! How beautiful!

Liar B: Your Majesty! Do you really have no opinion at all?

The Emperor: I am very satisfied. This fabric is truly incomparably beautiful. Unparalleled in the world!

Liar A: Your Majesty, please take a look! This is the top. Look here, the white clouds are floating and all the fish are swimming together!

Emperor: Oh! oh! oh!

Liar B: Your Majesty, look, these are pants. Look at the pattern on these pants! Here the buds are in bloom, and there are colorful flowers, and there the flowers are in full bloom, competing for their beauty!

Emperor: Wonderful. Wonderful. Wonderful. It’s so wonderful! I announced that I will hold a parade tomorrow wearing clothes woven from this cloth.

Minister: Your Majesty, that will definitely shock the whole city and become famous abroad.

Emperor: My most loyal minister.

Minister: Yes!

Emperor: Please reward them with the best gold as a reward!

Minister: Your Majesty, please bring me here! (Two guards dragged two heavy bags of gold up with difficulty)

Emperor: That’s enough! Return to the palace!

Liar A: Yeah! I have never seen so much money!

Liar B: Yes! yes!

Liar A: Quick! quick! Let's run!

Scene 4

Narration: The next day, the emperor was busy changing into new clothes in the dressing room. The parade was about to begin!

Narration: The parade begins!

[The wedding march began to sound, eight guards walked from the back to the front, stood in a figure eight shape, and then the emperor, accompanied by the ministers, slowly walked onto the stage, and then the emperor showed off as he walked His new clothes! When the music finally stopped, the guards started talking]

The four guards on the left: Your Majesty, you are so handsome today!

The four guards on the right: No, Your Majesty, you are really cool today!

The four guards on the left: So handsome!

The four guards on the right: Cool!

The four guards on the left: So cool!

The four guards on the right: Cool!

Emperor: Stop. Stop. Stop! (In a long tone) Your Majesty, I am so handsome today, so cool!

[At this moment, a cool breeze blew by]

Emperor: Ah Tiao!

Eight guards: (all in unison) Your Majesty! How can you catch a cold at a critical moment?

[Passers A, B, C and D started to discuss]

A: Wow! Look! Your Majesty is so beautifully dressed today! How come it looks like Chow Yun-fat from the front, Andy Lau from the back, Huang Hong from the left, and Guo Tat from the right!

B: What! Such a lack of aesthetics! Wow! His Majesty's appearance today is comparable to that of Li Ka-shing's uncle. He surpasses Grandpa Beckham's beautiful thighs and despises Uncle Bill Gass' sexy big mouth!

C: I can’t stand it anymore! His Majesty! You are so manly! I want to marry you!

Ding: Oh! Yes!

Child: But, he didn’t wear any clothes!

(Suddenly the audience fell silent)

Father: Oh my God! Do you see what this ignorant child said?

Child: But he really doesn’t have any clothes on!

Father: Oh God! Please forgive this ignorant child!

Emperor: (Shouting in surprise) My most loyal minister!

Minister: I’m here! His Majesty!

Emperor: My most loyal minister! Why do I hear my subjects talking about my lack of clothes?

Minister: No. No. No. How can that be possible! His Majesty! You heard wrong! right! You must have heard wrong! Your subjects are praising how much your waist is like a teapot!

Emperor: My most loyal minister! Why do I feel a little cold on my body?

Minister: Your Majesty! It happened all of a sudden! Have you ever heard of such a saying?

Emperor: (asked curiously) What are you talking about! ?

Minister: So beautiful! His Majesty! If you want to look beautiful, you must "freeze" it! All the female compatriots will be fascinated by your beauty! His Majesty! Look! Which middle-aged woman has been fascinated by your beauty!

Emperor: (smiling bitterly) That’s great! My most loyal minister! I declare! Let the parade continue!

Minister: I obey your Majesty! (The music started playing again, and the guards followed the emperor out)

Narration: That’s it! The parade continued amidst the discussion and ridicule of the subjects!