Who knows where there are English jokes (Chinese); Where can I find the design drawings of the blackboard newspaper (I read the samples online, not buy books)?

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to new york State University in Binghamton as a faculty member. One day, in a crowded elevator, someone commented on its inefficiency. I said that the elevator hasn't changed for 20 years since I went to school there.

When the door finally opened, I felt someone pat me on the back sympathetically and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get your degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."

virtue

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to new york State University in Binghamton as a faculty member. One day, the elevator was very crowded, and some people complained that the elevator was too inefficient. I said that the elevator hasn't been changed for 20 years since I went to school there.

Finally, when the elevator door opened, I felt someone pat me on the back sympathetically. Looking back, I saw an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get your degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."

2. Difference

"I can always tell the difference between a graduate class and an undergraduate class," said the teacher who taught my graduate engineering class at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say' good afternoon', college students will answer' good afternoon'. "But graduate students just write it down."

differentiate

"It's easy to tell the difference between graduate classes and undergraduates," said the teacher who taught us graduate engineering at California State University in Los Angeles. "I said' good afternoon' and the undergraduates answered' good afternoon'. The graduate student wrote down what I said in the notebook. "

3. Too long

The travel editor of a newspaper called and said that she would finally use an article I wrote a few years ago. She wants to make sure that the tourist information is still correct. "I also want Ted to make sure," she admitted shyly, "that you are still alive. Whenever a writer dies, I know that I have put off a story for too long. "

too long

The travel editor of a newspaper opened the phone and said that she had finally decided to adopt an article I wrote a few years ago. She wants to make sure that the tourist information is still reliable. "I want to make sure," she admitted timidly, "that you are still alive. Every time I find that the author is no longer alive, I know that I have been pressing the article for too long. "

4. The cost of bread and butter

A few years ago, my father, a lawyer, took me to a fancy restaurant in new york. When the bill arrived, there was $65,438 plus 0.50 for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the restaurant, claiming that the charge was unreasonable. The same envelope contains a bill for legal services of $500.

A man in the restaurant immediately called and asked, "What's this 500-dollar bill for? We have never ordered any legal services. "

Dad replied, "I have never ordered bread and butter."

65438 USD +0.50 GBP will be returned immediately.

Bread and butter fee

A few years ago, my father, a lawyer, took me to an upscale restaurant in new york. When the bill came in, it was $65,438 plus 0.50 for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill and the cost of bread and butter. But the next day, he sent a letter to the restaurant saying that the charge was unreasonable. I also sent you a bill of 500 dollars for legal services.

The restaurant immediately called and asked, "What is this 500 yuan? We have never asked for the services of any legal institution. "

Dad replied, "I never asked for bread or butter."

$ 1.5 Send it back immediately.

5. Sleeping pills

Bob can't sleep at night. He went to see a doctor, who prescribed some powerful sleeping pills.

On Sunday night, Bob took the medicine, slept well and woke up before he heard the alarm clock go off. He came to the office unhurriedly, strolled in and said to his boss, "I had no trouble getting up this morning."

"That's good," roared the boss, "but where were you on Monday and Tuesday?"

sleeping pill

Bob has insomnia at night. He went to see a doctor, who prescribed him some powerful sleeping pills.

Bob took the medicine on Sunday night, slept well and woke up before the alarm clock went off. He arrived at the office, strolled in and said to the boss, "I didn't have any trouble getting up this morning."

"good!" The boss roared, "Where did you go on Monday and Tuesday?"