About English joke stories with translators?

English jokes are a genre of folk oral creation. At the same time, English jokes are an important means of communication and play an important role in people's daily life. I've arranged it, welcome to read!

: the same responsibilities

A retired four-star general met his former orderly in a bar in Manhattan. The orderly also retired. He spent one night persuading the orderly to work for him and be his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as when they were in the army," said the general. "Nothing-you'll soon understand."

At eight o'clock the next morning, the former orderly immediately went into the former general's bedroom, opened the curtains, shook the general gently, strode to the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife and said, "Well, honey, it's time for you to go back to the village."

The same duty

A retired four-star general happened to meet his former orderly in a bar in Manhattan, and the orderly also retired at home. The general spent the whole evening persuading him to come back as his personal attendant. "Your duties are exactly the same as when you were in the army," said the general. "It's nothing. You will soon understand again. "

At eight o'clock the next morning, the former orderly quickly walked into the former general's bedroom, opened the curtains, shook the general gently, strode to the other side of the bed, patted his employer's wife and said, "All right, sweetheart, it's time for you to go back to the village."

: five months older.

World War II has begun, and John wants to join the army, but he is only 16 years old, and boys are only allowed to join the army when they are over 18 years old. So when the military doctor examined him, he said he was 18.

But John's brother joined the army a few days ago, and the same doctor also examined him. The doctor remembered the last name of the big boy, so he was surprised when he saw John's file.

"How old are you?" He said.

"Eighteen, sir," said John.

"But your brother is also 18 years old," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face turned red. "My brother is five months older than me."

Big five months

The second world war began, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only sixteen years old. It was stipulated at that time that boys could not join the army until they were eighteen. So when the military doctor gave him a physical examination, he said he was eighteen.

But John's brother just joined the army a few days ago and was examined by the doctor. The doctor remembers his brother's last name. So he was very surprised when he saw John's form.

"How old are you?" The doctor asked.

"Eighteen, sir." John said.

"But your brother is eighteen. Are you twins? "

John blushed and said, "Oh, no, sir, my brother is five months older than me."

A mean man's party

The notorious cheapskate finally decided to invite a guest. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "You go up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door opens, push it with your foot. "

"Why use my elbows and feet?"

"Oh, dear," he replied, "you're not going home empty-handed, are you?"

A miser's party

A notorious cheapskate finally decided to invite a guest. Explaining to a friend how to find his home, he said, "You go up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door opens, push it open with your feet. "

"Why should I use my elbows and feet?"

"My God!" The miser replied, "You won't come empty-handed, will you?"

A talking clock

A talking clock

When a college student proudly showed off his new apartment to his friends, he led them into the study. "What are those big gongs and hammers for?" One of his friends asked. "That's a talking clock," the man replied. "What's the effect?"

"Watch," the man said, and then struck the gong deafening with a hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Stop knocking, you idiot! It's two in the morning! "

A student showed his friend around his new apartment and was very proud. "What's that big gong and hammer for?" One of his friends asked him. "That thing is amazing. This is a talking clock, "the student replied. "How does this clock work?" His friend asked. "Look, don't blink." The student stepped forward, picked up a gong and a hammer, and knocked deafening. Suddenly, they heard someone calling from the other side next door, "Stop knocking, you * * *! It's two in the morning! "