Who has a great joke?

1. There is a little wolf. Oh, he was born a vegetarian, not a meat eater. His parents are very worried. As a result, my parents were very pleased to see the little wolf chasing the rabbit one day. Then the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, give me the carrot! ..... 2. The diver's difficulty coefficient is very high. He rolled over for a week, then somersaulted for a week and a half, and then somersaulted for a month. There is a man climbing the mountain. When he was about to climb to the top of the mountain, a wolf tried to burn the rope with a burning candle. The man said a word and the wolf blew out the candle. The man said, happy birthday! 4. Once upon a time, there was a village by the sea. The villagers made a living by fishing. . . After many, many years ~ ~ suddenly one day, a strange fish came to the sea. The villagers who specialize in fishing have already eaten several people. . . This strange fish has six eyes and can fly, so the villagers call it "six-eyed flying fish". Seeing the six-eyed flying fish killing people unscrupulously, and no one can cure them, the villagers are very worried. What should we do at this rate? At this moment, a young man came to the village. His name is very special. He likes to say that he can kill six-eyed flying fish. . . The villagers are very disdainful. . But the next day, love really came back with the body of the strange fish. . . The villagers were shocked and asked Ai, "How did you do it?" Love says, "Love really needs courage to face the flying fish with six eyes". 5. Once upon a time, there was a hide-and-seek club, and its president has not been found yet ... 6. A little rabbit went fishing in the pond, but he didn't catch it for a long time ... The next day, the little rabbit went fishing in the pond again, but he still didn't catch any fish for a day ... On the third day, the little rabbit insisted on fishing in the pond, but still found nothing. Seven ... After half a day's homework, I turned on the radio conveniently, and a gentle voice came out: "... If the skin color pays off, the fluff on my face is tender and soft, which means it is very healthy ..." When I heard this, I couldn't help touching my face, looking at the mirror and smiling, looking healthy and lovely. At this moment, I heard the announcer say, "Well, listeners, this time our lecture on pig-raising knowledge has arrived …" 8. In a primary school, two students were quarreling. A said, "You ... you call again, and I can call someone!" " B said, "You ... you fight! I don't believe it ... "Then A really ran to make a phone call, and when he came back, he said," You will know how to die in 30 minutes! " At this time, B was extremely nervous, but he could do nothing. After 30 minutes, the school broadcast: "You have visitors, please go to the Academic Affairs Office." Although I'm scared, I think I'm in the academic affairs office and I should be fine. So he went to the academic affairs office, and a blond boy came up and said, "Are you B?" B: "I'm ..." "Sorry for waiting, this is 10 Hawaiian pizza with chicken, 5300 yuan." 9. A German, a Frenchman and a Japanese are going to work in the mine. The boss is American. He said to the Germans: You have a good physique and you are in charge of coolies. Say to the French: You said you were an engineer and you were in charge of the mining plan. He said to the Japanese: You are very thin. You are in charge of supply. Then every other week, they start to work. A few days later, the Germans and the French found that the Japanese had disappeared. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work first. When the Germans started, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted, "Surprise!" "(surprise) 10. Rene Liu's courtship to Jay Chou was rejected, and Rene Liu asked Jay Chou why. Jay Chou said, milk tea, I like Youlemei. 1 1.- Hello, please call a car. I'm at the intersection of XX, wearing a short black skirt ...-OK, where to go? It means "the person who does ..." ... to the knee ... 12. A butterfly has a broken wing, but it is still flying. Why? Because of strong will, 13. A person in the hospital infusion, lost began to laugh wildly. Others asked him what he was laughing at. He said, "I smiled a little. " .。" 14. A little girl called the radio station and ordered a song for her mother. Moderator: Why do you want to order a song for her mother? Little girl: Mom works hard every day and can't have a good rest on Sundays. She needs to find me various exercise books. The host was very moved and said that she was very sensible and a good boy of her mother, so she asked her what song she wanted. Little girl: Why do women bother women? 15. Party A, Party B and Party C went out together, and Party A caught a cold ... Everyone slept in a bed at night, and Party A slept in the middle. In the middle of the night … A took a big sniffle, and B and C were covered with A crystals. Let us know next time ... half an hour later, A: Pay attention ... B C got into the quilt and made sure there was no contact with the outside world ... and then fart 16. There is a cursed prince who can only say one sentence a year, but he likes a princess very much, so you haven't said a word for five years. When you have saved enough, you come to the princess and say, "Please marry me." The princess said in surprise, "What?" 17. A programmer decided to study calligraphy after retirement. He bought excellent lake pens, rice paper and ink, dipped them in thick ink, and said in one go: Hello, World 18. Once upon a time, there were two trash cans. They ran and ran for a long time, and then one of them stopped and said, we are trash cans. Why? 19. Xiaoming did something wrong. His mother told him to kneel in front of the Guanyin statue and confess, saying, If Guanyin forgives you, you can eat. Five minutes later, Xiaoming was sitting at the dining table. His mother asked strangely, didn't I say Guanyin forgives you before you can eat it? Xiao Ming said: Yes, I knelt there and said that Sister Guanyin was wrong. I want to eat. Then sister Guanyin told me with her right hand, OK 20. A woman bought breakfast with fake money. . . The vendor was annoyed: "Elder sister, even if you give a fake, it is at least a seal. This one of you is actually a painting!" " To say the least, forget to draw. You can draw a set of ten or five, or you can draw a set of seven! Let's make it seven dollars for seven dollars. At least draw a color. Actually, we use pencils! Forget it, black and white is good, but you can't draw with toilet paper! The feel is too bad. Even toilet paper, cut the edge with scissors. This one was torn by hand, and the raw edges are too exaggerated. I put up with burrs, too, and you tore a rectangle, which is unreasonable. 2 1. Just now, on the drag board under my desk, I found a row of four dead cockroaches. . . Tragedy Their family was electrocuted hand in hand. . . 22. In high school … once a boy brought a big bottle of afternoon milk tea and drank it all day, which was beautiful and enviable. Later, other boys followed suit, and the one who fought was bigger than the one with the bottle. Results From 1.25 liters of orange to 2.5 liters of coke, and then to 2.8 liters of family-owned farm orchard, one bottle is bigger than the other! I can't drink it at all. It has become a vicious competition. Every morning, it's really boring to think about it now. Then every day after dinner, I will go to the supermarket to find out if there are any larger bottled drinks. Once I bought Watsons, a barrel of 4.5 liters, which was enough to make me stand out from the crowd. No one can beat me! Everyone else is ashamed. I thought this storm had died down. Who knows that a few days later, a buddy came with a bucket of arowana, 5 liters! Really speechless, I asked and answered, "I have been desperately urging my mother to use more oil for cooking these two days. I thought it was almost enough last night, so I emptied the rest and made a bucket of fruit treasures myself. Ya, people who take the bus in the morning are laughing at me ... "Can I not laugh at you like this? You won 23 points ... Head Nurse: My perfume is missing! Help me find it! Everyone: What other brands of perfume do you use? Head nurse: Liushen, I only use that. Everyone: awesome, I have never heard of it. What is it like? Head nurse: Which one of you took the toilet water of Liushen? 24. The weather is very hot. I often drink water and always forget to buy one for myself. Often drink water from the company's paper cups. I went to work the day before yesterday and saw a big plastic cup on the table. And that lovely one, my colleague said it was given to me by the beauty manager. I was very moved at that time, so I washed it and drank water. Drinking water from a large plastic cup feels unique, and colleagues cast admiring eyes. After lunch, drink water with a cup. The beauty manager who suddenly came in stared at me ... and then she said, this is the little trash can I gave you. I forgot to give you the lid in a hurry this morning, so I gave you the lid … damn it. In other words, there has always been a senior in the university who takes care of me. On the night of my eighteenth birthday, he bought 100 thick white candles and lit them on the playground to wish me a happy birthday. At the same time, he confessed to me. It's really embarrassing. Afterwards, I also pretended to be grateful and liked to leave 18 white candles. My roommate looked at the candles I brought back and asked if there was a funeral. I replied that someone gave me a birthday, and the whole dormitory laughed. Later, when I came home for the New Year, I carried these eighteen candles home. When my mother saw it, she said that such a thick white candle could only be bought by a candle shroud store ... 26. The boy followed a mm closely, and then ... it was very hot, and a fat MM was walking in the street. Walking, she suddenly found herself closely following a boy she didn't know. What can I do for you? Fat mm turned to ask the boy. "No, thank you. I just like to walk in the shadow that the sun can't shine. " The boy said politely. 27. When I got up in the morning, my brother saw a bottle on the table with "cereal" in it, so he ate it for breakfast. At this time, my brother came back from morning exercise, washed and combed, sat at the table for pedicure, and suddenly asked my brother, have you seen the bottle I put on the table, and where is the foot I saved? ...