I have been married for many years, how can I enhance the relationship between husband and wife?

We have been married for many years, how can we enhance the relationship between husband and wife?

1. Have a small date occasionally.

Before writing this article, I did some small research and deliberately asked my boyfriends and male friends around me. I did not expect that the answers of these male friends were very similar. He said:

“If two people are together without passion, they will create passion. For example, having a candlelight dinner, watching a movie, and giving each other small gifts will not only make your woman happy, but most men will also like it. ."

Yes. These seemingly simple little tricks work not just for women, but for men as well.

Because, occasional small dates can not only relax each other, but actually how to agree is not the most important. The most important thing is the lonely space where two people can be together. This kind of space only belongs to each other. This Time for elders and children

So, after marriage, especially as the marriage time prolongs, old couples should not be romantic, and the older they get, the more romantic they become.

A romance like this does not require a lot of money, but having such a sense of ritual for each other, feeling each other, and loving each other is more important than anything else.

At this point, let the old woman be more emotional

Second, let’s take a walk together.

Let’s take a walk together. You can travel around on weekends or travel together.

Let me explain here: As mentioned above, occasionally have a small date, such as once a month. The key is to have a private space for two people. In addition to having space for two people when traveling together on foot, the important thing is that there is no fuss.

The biggest advantage of traveling is that you don’t have to discuss family chores and work for the time being. Negotiate where to go together and just look at the beautiful scenery. You can put aside the small conflicts between work and life and enjoy a wonderful trip.

Of course, if possible, children and the elderly can be taken twice out of every three trips. Among them, it is best to go as a couple at a time.

Some people may not be able to understand this kind of behavior. Don’t you think it’s the same with taking children on the same trip? To be honest, of course not. When raising children, couples will focus on the children, so they sometimes quarrel over the children.

"You are right. We used to take the children with us every time we went out. In fact, my husband also told me. Occasionally we can also have no children. The children can be taken to see your father-in-law and grandma, or during holidays. You go to grandma's house to play. But I will be very worried if the child is brought to the elderly. And we will feel guilty if we don't let the child go, but yes, sometimes my husband was not happy. Listen, it’s summer vacation, isn’t it? I sent the child to my mother’s house. The child can actually play with my cousins, and my husband and I went to Lijiang.” "It was a little uncomfortable at first, but after I went there, it was uncomfortable to walk with two people, or go to a coffee shop or a bar! It felt so good! Especially on this trip, I could feel the care and care of my husband, Holding the luggage and holding my hand, I am really happy. It seems that we must play together sometimes, which can not only increase the relationship, but also restore the enthusiasm at that time." At this point, let the old woman be more affectionate

If many married couples have children and travel, they usually take the elderly and children with them. Of course, it is possible, but if two people's entire life is not for work, and they revolve around their families, it will take a lot of time, like two machines, and of course they will not experience the joy of life and cannot warm the relationship between the two.

So, if you can regularly travel for two people a year, you can also only take short trips.

Treat each other as a good friend.

Treat the other person as a good friend. This is something I often say to my friends, but some people don’t understand it.

We are still explaining Xiaoxue. When I told Xiaoxue, when you want to learn to make friends with your husband and make good friends with me, she told me:

"The husband is the husband. How can we be good friends? Two people spend every day It’s not that I care about you when we meet, it’s that you say that I’m not used to it sometimes.”

I said:

“You say that because we don’t meet each other every day.” Leave me alone because I'm talking about you. Also, because I'm not used to it.

That's because two people are too close and have no sense of boundaries. Without a sense of boundaries, there is too much management. They feel that they are right and the other person is wrong. In this case, I feel that I have the right to manage the other party, and even the right to blame the other party. However, if someone manages or blames the other party, no matter whether I am right or wrong, there will be some feelings, and the two people will have conflicts or conflicts. ”.

Between people, we hope that someone can understand us, understand us, and hear our voices, but the physical and psychological distance between husband and wife is too close, and they have no patience to listen and understand carefully, and it is even more difficult to tolerate. .

If we can properly treat each other as a friend and close friend, the relationship between two people will become easier.

For example, we listen patiently to our friends and do not criticize and criticize at will. Evaluate the other person. In our hearts, I know that he is my friend and he is an independent person, so I must respect the other person.

You must know something about this, but in fact, the most important thing for a friend is to listen. , understanding and respect.

There is a classic saying that listening is love and understanding is healing.

This sentence means that patience can really be found in the world. It is actually not easy for us to talk to people who can listen to our voices. If such a person can meet our psychological needs, we can actually think that he (she) loves me as long as the other person. Listening and understanding our words, my voice is understood by him, and I will not be so lonely. If I am not lonely, I will feel that I am a valuable person.

A valuable person will. Feeling that their life is meaningful makes the old woman more emotional at this point

Research conducted by American marriage expert John Gottman:

Cheating is the root cause of divorce.

Wrong!

In many of the cases he studied, affairs were not the root cause of divorce, but problems in the marriage that put the couple on the path to divorce. Compelling one (or both) to seek intimacy outside of marriage

Most marital therapists who document extramarital affairs find that these trysts are not about sex in general, but about friendship, support, understanding, respect, and attention. , care about the "things" that should be provided for marriage.

It is not easy to do this. Therefore, if you treat the other party as a good friend properly, the other party can speak freely in front of you. Be yourself. These are important psychological needs in relationships. If you can meet these needs, you will naturally enhance your relationship.